To tell or not to tell...

[goldengirl 0]

I also don't want to tell anyone. I have friends that would question my decision and although I love them dearly, it just isn't a conversation i want to have at this time. My husband, son and especially my daughter-in-law and one friend are very supportive. That will get me by. Peacequeen your positive feedback comes from those of us who cheer your decision and wish you the very best!!

[italianlady13 80]

I told EVERYONE because I really don't give a crap what they think. I told everyone because most all of the women in my family are morbidly obese and I thought if they knew about me then they would do the surgery if they saw how great it was. My cousins have all told me the same old thing: "I might be over weight but all of my blood tests are coming up normal and i"m PERFECTLY healthy....(but let's not mention your double knee replacements or elevated sugar levels or the fact that you are on cholesterol medication) I guess they are just in denile, but over time and when they see that I'm getting healthy I hope and PRAY for their sake that they will see the light of day!!!!

[Sassygirl06 962]

i only told my husband, teenage daughter and one of my best friends. the only reason i told her was because i thought she could benifit from my journey. she has and has decided to do it herself.

i havent told my mother, father, or siblings. in my opinion i dont believe that it really makes a difference how i lose the weight. so what if i had a little help? it really isnt anybodys business at all. i really didnt want to hear all of the different negative comments either. i know what they are because i used to feel the same way. not anymore. i am so thankful for my sleeve.

i was talking with a woman today that is worried about her 400 plus pound daughter. i asked her if she has ever considered wls....her responce was exactly what a skinny person would say....that is the easy way out. i tried to explain the new procedures to her but she was stuck in her own thoughts. i just think it is sad when people think that way because it is only hurting them in the long run.

as for me, i will never be telling anybody else. i dont feel guilty about keeping it to myself either. i wouldnt go around telling people if i had to have a hysterectomy...so why would i tell them about my sleevectomy?

good luck to you...and im sorry that you were met with that responce.

[longer-life 139]

Peacequeen your positive feedback comes from those of us who cheer your decision and wish you the very best!!

I disagreed with Peacequeen interpretation of her family members questions AND I also wish her the very best. I hope you are not implying that those of us that disagreed with her don't wish her the best.

[peacequeen 434]

Longer Life, I understood what you were saying and I agree with it. I also found it humorous in a sarcastic way.lol..which I loved.lol Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think goldengirl meant that at the end of the day, this website in general is where I can find support. What I ended up doing is sending an email to my sisters telling them how their reactions made me feel. One of my sister's emailed me back and said this:

I am soooooooo sorry that I didn't react the way you needed me too, but if it were me, I'd do it in a minute. My reaction may have been because I had never heard of this procedure before, and I was trying to process all that you were speaking. I want you happy and healthy,too, so whatever that takes is what I want for you. I KNOW how you have struggled. I watched Mom do the same thing. In fact, I have even thought of contacting the Ageless Weight-loss Center myself because I am stuck at 180 pounds and I was 125-135 my entire life until I turned 50. Recently, I had hit 186 lbs and I lost 14 pounds, but now it is back on me and I feel terrible. Sweetie, I love you and I truly apologize for not reacting the way you needed me too.

I do care what my family thinks and this made my day. Now I know I have family support I can go to when I'm having a bad day.

This whole incedent has made me realize it's ok for me to tell people, even if they don't react the way I want. There will be those who are for it and those who aren't and that's their choice. I have to be happy in this decision for myself and that's all that matters. Thanks everyone for your support and all the feedback, I really do appreciate it. I've been trying to decide how I would tell people if to tell them at all, now I know. I'll just send an email that way I can say all I want to say before they interrupt or I see the expression of doom on their faces. And hopefully in the end I get a response like the one my sister just sent..that felt awesome!

[longer-life 139]

Peacequeen I am glad it all turned out just like you wanted. :hug:

[kellyw74 258]

That is EXACTLY why I chose to tell NOBODY except the hubby!!

Right now, it is "oh you look so great and are so dedicated" "you work so hard" "you eat so healthy" "you workout everyday" "you should be so proud"

If they knew, it would be "you took the easy way out" "no wonder you lost so much weight" "I would lose 100lbs too if I had my stomach removed"

People are ignorant and I don't have time for stupitidy!

Kelly

[St. Louis Sarah 0]

I once heard someone talk about weight loss and people saying ...oh you did it before....I can hold my breath for a minute, but that doesn't mean i can hold it for 60. For those of us who struggle with our weight and did not inherit a "skinny gene", i feel like wls is the tool i need to help me. I have limited the number of people ihave told. I told my boss and two good friends at work that know my struggles. I have told my mother, sister and one brother, my husband and two close friends. All know that i want to keep my business personal. I dont want to be judged.