I used to be too fat and now I'm too thin...I just can't win

[enoughisenough 0]

Hi everyone,

I am new to the group. I had my gastric sleeve done in July of 10'. I was 220 with a BMI of 38 at the time when the surgery was done. My surgery went well and so did the weight loss...it has actually gone too well. I am now 109lbs and 5'4. My BMI is 18 now. My problem is that I have developed an awful case of anorexia and bullemia. I restrict calories to only 200-300 a day and throw up what ever I eat. My doctors are really concerned. I just don't want to gain weight again and I am so scared that if I start eating again that I will. My husband is a medical student and totally panicked over this whole situation. I dont think it is a big deal. I can not make anyone happy. At first I was too big and now I am too small. WHat do they want from me? I'm 24 and have a beautiful 3 year old. I just like the feeling of being empty after being full for so long. I really like the pain that I get from restriction. It eases my anxiety, stress and makes my depression better. Has anyone experienced anything like this after WLS? I am really looking for some support and quidance from those who have been there. Thanks for your time!

Amanda

[Raine 170]

You have a serious eating disorder and this must be taken seriolusly. You went from one extreme to the other. My recomendation is to seek counceling immediately. You need to find a happy medium and become happy with yourself not with what others are thinking...you are too big...you are too small. It sounds to me like you need to find you and figure out the root cause of why you are choosing to hurt yourself. I wish you luck on better mental health.

[dargar27 2]

Hi Amanda,

I had my surgery only 3 months ago, and also am totally freaked about regaining my weight. I'd much rather be healthy, however, than not, so I try to be careful with what I eat and usually consume around 1100 calories in a day plus exercise. It sounds like you have gotten a little off track, and just need to get back to the basics of nutrition. It also sounds like you have an eating disorder that maybe you can't handle alone. Please talk with your doctor about some support groups, find a good nutritionist, and get yourself back in the game. Being too fat is unhealthy, but so is being too thin. You need your calories for energy and health. I hope you can work this out, but don't be afraid to ask for help. You may need to see a psychologist for a consult, and may need a little help getting through this. I hope you are okay!

Hi everyone,

I am new to the group. I had my gastric sleeve done in July of 10'. I was 220 with a BMI of 38 at the time when the surgery was done. My surgery went well and so did the weight loss...it has actually gone too well. I am now 109lbs and 5'4. My BMI is 18 now. My problem is that I have developed an awful case of anorexia and bullemia. I restrict calories to only 200-300 a day and throw up what ever I eat. My doctors are really concerned. I just don't want to gain weight again and I am so scared that if I start eating again that I will. My husband is a medical student and totally panicked over this whole situation. I dont think it is a big deal. I can not make anyone happy. At first I was too big and now I am too small. WHat do they want from me? I'm 24 and have a beautiful 3 year old. I just like the feeling of being empty after being full for so long. I really like the pain that I get from restriction. It eases my anxiety, stress and makes my depression better. Has anyone experienced anything like this after WLS? I am really looking for some support and quidance from those who have been there. Thanks for your time!

Amanda

[JimmyGotSLEEVED 270]

I kno you are looking for a friend to agree and support but I simply cannot grant that and enable you.

Being too thin or too fat are both unhealthy and will effect you terribly. From the looks of it you trade one illness for another and both lead down the same road.

I advise you to seek treatment and find a medium and balance that out into your daily life. We are only here to help...

Gd luck & god bless

[foxgirl74 5]

This is not encouragement because I know there is a much deeper issue that needs addressed, but I have to admit I want your problem. I want to be too thin, and have an eating disorder with a low weight versus my former/current disorder of eating too much and being overweight. There is no "win" either way, because there is something mental about this far more then I think we understand. I would seek some counsel, and not just for the eating issues, because I think extends further then that.

[Caliblonde 25]

Anorexia and Bulimia are life threatening. I hope that you are looking into psychological and medical treatment for this. Good luck!

[Nichelle 21]

Seek out help! This is not something that can be done alone or overnight. Encouragement, understanding, and support are needed to battle both extremes of weight diseases. I wish you the best and encourage you not to wait any longer before asking for help.

[enoughisenough 0]

My doctors have recommended I go see a therapist and a nutritionist and start going to an addiction recovery program. I started everything last week but it is still has not helped. I want to stay this thin. They are giving me till Christmas and if I have no gotten up to 115lbs then they are going to hospitalize me for my weight. How ironic isn't it? I had surgery to save my life and I still end up doing something that might kill me.

[Mblank 0]

I have not had the VSG, scheduled for next week, but I can say what you are dealing with has been my biggest fear since starting this journey. I have watched my best friend go down the same path you are on, and she was healthier before her surgery because of it. Please seek the help you need, and understand that you need to learn to love yourself for who you are, and not what you look like. Know you are not alone in this and you will get through it as long as you dig deep and find your inner strength!!

[Denise's New Life 43]

I won;t repeat what others have said but you need to think of your 3 year old and don't you want to be there for him or her?

[Khy 16]

You mentioned that you have a beautiful 3 year old. Children are precious. You might not want to regain the weight but you need to do it for her. Eat some healthy food ( that you keep down) everyday for her. That is a starting point until u can start to learn to love yourself. The road you are on will lead to not being there for her. NOONE loves your child like you do. Your child deserves to have that love for a long while.

Khy

[Caliblonde 25]

I'm glad to hear that you started therapy and seeing a nutritionist. That's a step in the right direction. You say that you want to stay as thin as you are even though you know that it's life threatening and could kill you...that is something you need to talk about with your therapist. I agree with the others, think about your 3 year old and consider the eating habits that you are demonstrating to your child. I'm sure you don't want your child to have an unhealthy relationship with food. Just things to think about. I hope you can get it under control before they have to hospitalize you.

[KellyL 173]

I am not sure if your way of thinking is coming from your depression or what, but you need to listen to your Drs and your hubby right now, because you're not thinking rationally or realistically. If your Dr and family is concerned and we're all concerned, then please just trust that others are very worried about your health and your life. No one is trying to control you or your weight. Your baby girl needs her momma, so as others have said, if you are not capable of doing this for yourself right now, please do it for her. If she was a teen or young adult right now instead of 3 yrs old and was only eating 300-400 calories a day and throwing even all that up, wouldn't YOU be upset and concerned for her well being? I am not trying to be mean, I know you love her. Please love and take care of yourself as you would your daughter. You deserve to be happy AND healthy.

[Shalon 10]

Sounds like a control issue and not a body or image issue. I pray for your child more than anything. You are teaching her to mistreat her body and not have any self-esteem as she is. That is irreparable damage at this point in her life.

Ironically when you were heavy you let food control you, and now you are doing the very same thing. food is fuel to make your body run, stop letting it run your life and take control of yourself.

[emily_0192010 168]

Hey First off, (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) cause it sounds like you need some. Second off, even though I don't know you, I am proud of you. Because you are already taking the steps you need to get help. No matter what you look like, or what you weigh you are a wonderful woman. Sometimes wonderful woman need help. No shame in that. Thanks for getting the help you need One day you are going to find "you" and you are going to be so happy about it. People love you, that is obvious, now it's time to start loving yourself as well.