Everyone Has Been So Supportive....

[courtines 6]

I made the decision to have this surgery six weeks ago. At the time of my initial consultation, I was asked if I wanted to participate in a local tv station's medical series and being the agreeable person that I am, I said "sure, why not?" I honestly thought they wouldn't really be interested in using me and that they would find someone else. I wasn't sure how open I was going to be with my friends about having this procedure, but after thinking about it a little more, I decided that I would let them film my surgery, if they wanted to.

After making that decision, it seemed really easy to let people know that this is what I am doing and that I am really happy about my decision. I have not been shy about telling people because other people talking about their surgery was inspiring to me. For the most part, everyone has been really cool and those who are close to me just want me to feel better, both physically and emotionally. The approval process has been quick and the whole thing has been pretty much a dream, minus some lost forms at my PCPs office.

Until....

Last week I was working with someone that I don't typically work with. When I mentioned that I was going to have bariatric surgery, she asked if I shouldn't try "the old fashioned way." I said that I can't do it the old fashioned way and that if I could, I would already be in much better health. She then said, "Can't or don't want to?" I told her that I wouldn't put myself through major surgery just because I was lazy. This is a huge change to make and I wouldn't put myself through it if I didn't think it was going to help me.

I feel ridiculous, but this one person that I barely know has shaken my confidence about it all a little. The vast majority of people that I have talked to about it have been awesome and I know that I should focus on that, but it seems so easy to let one nasty comment get under my skin.

How do you guys deal with people who don't agree? My initial instinct is to set them straight in a less than nice way, but I don't feel like verbally smacking down everyone who disagrees with me.

[Caliblonde 25]

Just have a few phrases in your pocket for people who disagree with you. You know why you need to have the surgery and what has not worked for you in the past. Maybe something like "Thanks for your concern, my doctor and I decided that this was the best decision for my health". Others have thrown similar phrases out in the past and that one has been useful for me.

[Forensikchic 528]

I made the decision to have this surgery six weeks ago. At the time of my initial consultation, I was asked if I wanted to participate in a local tv station's medical series and being the agreeable person that I am, I said "sure, why not?" I honestly thought they wouldn't really be interested in using me and that they would find someone else. I wasn't sure how open I was going to be with my friends about having this procedure, but after thinking about it a little more, I decided that I would let them film my surgery, if they wanted to.

After making that decision, it seemed really easy to let people know that this is what I am doing and that I am really happy about my decision. I have not been shy about telling people because other people talking about their surgery was inspiring to me. For the most part, everyone has been really cool and those who are close to me just want me to feel better, both physically and emotionally. The approval process has been quick and the whole thing has been pretty much a dream, minus some lost forms at my PCPs office.

Until....

Last week I was working with someone that I don't typically work with. When I mentioned that I was going to have bariatric surgery, she asked if I shouldn't try "the old fashioned way." I said that I can't do it the old fashioned way and that if I could, I would already be in much better health. She then said, "Can't or don't want to?" I told her that I wouldn't put myself through major surgery just because I was lazy. This is a huge change to make and I wouldn't put myself through it if I didn't think it was going to help me.

I feel ridiculous, but this one person that I barely know has shaken my confidence about it all a little. The vast majority of people that I have talked to about it have been awesome and I know that I should focus on that, but it seems so easy to let one nasty comment get under my skin.

How do you guys deal with people who don't agree? My initial instinct is to set them straight in a less than nice way, but I don't feel like verbally smacking down everyone who disagrees with me.

I think I might have turned that around on her. I might say something like, "I am also making it a habit to only surround myself with people who are supportive of my decision to get healthy. Your snide comments are unappreciated and I wonder if you CANT be a nice person or is it that you just DONT WANT TO."

[lsereno 2,525]

Forensikchic, I love your idea! Not that I would say it. For me, I find that being nasty back just makes me feel worse. Although I enjoy daydreaming about sharp ripostes, I prefer to get away from icky people ASAP instead of engaging them on their own level.

I haven't had anyone say anything really awful to my face about the surgery. The way I deal with totally rude people is to give a pat answer and ignore them. As a previous poster suggested, "My doctor and I agree that his is the best option for me." is enough. If they say anything else, I would feel comfortable telling them "I don't want to discuss it" and getting away from them ASAP.

Don't let one naysayer affect your decision. You know in your heart what is best for you.

Lynda

[courtines 6]

I guess I was just shocked that someone I barely know would make their opinions known like that. Luckily, this is a person that I hardly ever have to deal with. Honestly I have been avoiding her since last year when she told me that where I carried my weight was putting me at an increased risk for heart disease. Apparently I can do no right by this person!

In the end, I know she doesn't matter. She isn't anyone important in my life and realistically I shouldn't care one way or the other what she thinks of me and what I am doing to my own body. I am doing this for me and because I want to live to see my daughter grow up.

[hadouni 301]

I had a similar comment from my primary care physician when I first told him I was considering bariatric surgery. I told him about my diet history (dieting since age 9), that my mom and her sister both had GBS and my entire family battles/battled obesity and he gave me the "eat less of fewer calorie foods and exercise more" speech and said I was likely obsessive compulsive and I walked out with a Rx for welbutrin. The welbutrin actually helped for 3 or 4 months but I went through a very stressful time at work and the food crazies won.

One year and 16lbs or so more later and I'm back on track for bariatric surgery. I need to figure out if it's going to be sleeve or GBS. I prefer sleeve but I'm worried I won't loose as well as I would if I went with GBS.

I'm really looking forward to the psych consult. The person who does the consults for the group I'm seeing has had sleeve himself so I'm really interested in his perspective as well as his thoughts on how crazy I am or am not... I so don't believe I'm obsessive compulsive!

[Maraki 1]

Courtines, from my experience I have found that even those who love you will ask if you have thought about doing it the "old fashioned way". But from what I hear, this person you were talking to said it in a mean way. What I have noticed is that some people think you will automatically lose weight because you had the surgery done, and well, it isn't so.

If you see the posts from fellow sleevers you will see that there are stalls, and problems with what you eat, and that you need to exercise. So what I tell people is that the operation is a tool that helps manage a very important aspect of the problem. It is not an automatic solution.

Besides, why would you do it the old fashioned way if there are some better options out there?

Maraki

[ILKrista 36]

The people who want to criticize and judge you for having WLS are the same ones who will criticize & judge you for being too thin when you hit goal, too loud with a joke, too flirty, too quiet, etc. Some people will find fault no matter what... just ignore them. I personally have a hard time not smacking them, but I'm learning that as long as I am happy with my life, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. Focus on what is right for you and ignore the haters!

Krista