Why the Shock and Disdain for WLS

[favoredone 590]

So, I'm noticing that several of my colleagues, associates and family members have this crazy perception, disdain and blatant disgust of WLS.. I mean, if you mention the possibility of a celebrity rumored to have had the band or bypass they freak out.. Hemming and hawing about how people should work hard and not pay for bodies and yada yada..... WHATEVER!!!!.... Oh, let's not talk about Ms. So and so who had WLS.. who does she think she is... HUH??? The flip side is that these are the same people who stare in disgust and utter shock when they see a morbidly obese person attempting to live a normal life!!.. I'm trying to understand what kind of human being would belittle, disrespect and basically abhor a person who is trying to do everything necessary to change their lives.. so that they can have a LIFE.. one of quality, freedom and health.... Heck, I don't see people getting made at smokers who use the nicotine patch!! I know comparing WLS and nicorrette is like comparing lasik and eyebrow waxing.. but still.. both open your eyes so you can see clearly!!!.. I was just wondering why people do and say things like that... I'm sure most are oblivious to the HELL that person has gone through.. be it medical problems, emotional baggage, abuse, low self-esteem.. you name it... It's almost like... some people don't think you are human if you weigh over 175!!!

(I kind of told one of my sisters that I was considering WLS... she freaked out.. told me to go back to WW... and try this and that... I explained to her that I am make a decision for MY life.. she doesn't have to agree with it, validate it or anything... She doesn't think I'm big enough to have surgery!!).. I wanted to tell her, you may not think I am, but my knees and back obviously do!!!

Do you have people around you who think it's something wrong with having surgery to change your life, yet they say things about obese people??? Chime in please.. Thanks for ready my RANT for the day!!!

[Tera 3]

Awesome post. (Hey, your pink is still going on my post) Some people have to mouth off, I just ignore it. It doesn't matter what you do, they will find some reason to blab, stare and judge. Like yesterday. My hubby and I went out to eat lunch. There was a table of 3 people across from us just STARING at me the entire time. I guess they were completely blown away by a small portion eaten very slowly, I wish they had just asked me why for crying out loud! They even stared at me boxing up the leftovers. It was surreal.

Good luck with your family and friends though. Find out who your supporters are and talk only to them about the WLS. And when the others see you getting healthy and happy after surgery, they may come aboard the happy train.

[longer-life 139]

I haven't had surgery yet and have never encountered people like your coworkers. If I was you, I would come up with a good lie as to why you are losing weight and taking time off work, because that attitude is something I wouldn't want to put up with before surgery.

After you are thin,healthy, active and much happier you will probably not care what they think of you.

[favoredone 590]

Longer life.. thanks for your response..

I don't care about what my co-workers think.. I was just wondering out loud.. how these folx justify their thinking.. My family members and friends who know I'm having WLS (about 5 ppl) know that I don't want their opinion, validation or support.. for the rest of the people.. WHATEVER!! LOL... I will do whatever necessary to enjoy my life...

I have some co-workers commenting about me losing weight now.. .. (I'm a teacher.. and several of my colleagues run marathons, triathlons and stuff..).. They just have interesting thinking...

[Rootman 1,101]

Well, in the past there WAS reason to be concerned. Early bypasses were too severe and too much of the intestine was bypassed and a few people died and many more got very sick from malnutrition. It was invasive and dangerous. Things have improved a lot since the advent of laroscopic surgery and simpler less drastic procedure such as our sleeve.

That and many people just feel threatened by it as they are fat too, or have remained thin because they have the will and drive to remain so. I just ignore them. I had a health issue, it was MY fault, but I could NOT over come it without help, more help than a diet center and exercise on my own could fix.

We truly live in a blessed age. food is CHEAP and PLENTIFUL and we have a massive infrastructure to support it. And MANY are obese because it is so easy to get so. I had a SIMPLE procedure done to curb my appetite and rein in my portions. It worked. And I'd do it again. Too freakin' bad if you don't like it or think I'm cheating and taking the "easy way out". There ain't NOTHIN' easy about being so fat you can't hardly walk or do much of anything else.

[favoredone 590]

AMEN!!!

That's so true...

[jillw8 22]

It is sad how little some peolple really don't understand obesity. I know it is hard if you have never been through it but come on. To me, it is like telling someone who needed a heart surgery that it was the easy way out. That surgery was to save their life, much like the was to save our lives. I try to calmly explain the reason and that it is a TOOL and not an easy fix. If they don't understand, so be it. Very well put!

[kellyw74 258]

It is usually becuase they are IGNORANT and don't have any idea what the surgery is about or what living our life is like.

That is why I tell noboby. I don't want to hear the negative. They would just tell me how wrong I am for doing it and yada, yada, yada.

Instead, when I hear how great I look, I smile and say "Thank You."

Kelly

[Escape_Pod 358]

I agree with Rootman, I think a lot of people have a perception of WLS as being an extreme measure, only for the super-morbidly obese, and extremely risky, (and, possibly, not likely to be successful long-term). Public perception hasn't yet caught up with the reality of it - it's much safer than it used to be, the risks of WLS are much lower than the risks of remaining obese, and it's the only proven successful way to keep weight off, as compared to a 5% success rate of doing it through traditional diet / exercise, even in a physician-monitored program.

I've told almost no-one, just my husband, and a couple of friends. I may feel more comfortable talking about it further down the road. I hope so, I think that as more people become aware of it as an successful option for overweight people they know, it will gain greater acceptance.

[suez1105 2]

I hate the way a lot of people are so supportive of drug addicts and alchoholics yet can't find any support for obese people. Although, if you have never had to deal with a weight problem, why would they ever understand?? food addiction is very real and a constant battle, thing is, I can watch some of my skinny friends eat and eat and eat way more then me and sit around like slugs yet not gain a pound. Obesity is not about being lazy or eating too much, sometimes it is genetics, I don't care what anyone says. I mean why is it a lot of people can drink alchohol normally and in moderation while others turn into alchoholics? There is something a lot deeper here than just over eating or over drinking. My mom's whole side of the family were/are obese, all of us have battled diet after diet after diet, for some it just doesn't work, that is where WLS comes in. I feel no shame in getting it if it is going to give me what I want! In fact, you can poo poo me all you want, I will be the one laughing all the way when I am wearing a bikini next year on the beach living life to it's fullest for the first time in years.

People are mean, some do it just because they are hard hearted, some do it because they are jealous. Oh well, that's their problem not yours. In fact, let's be honest, by us getting weight loss surgery, it def opens up the gates for other overweight people who may be contimplating WLS. I know for me, I only knew one person who had it done, and I really didn't talk to her at the time. When I started a new job at a hospital, I was suprised by how many nurses and techs and secretaries had it done. Then you start to think, hey that could be me, and hence my journey into WLS/.

I would never force WLS on anyone, but I will freely talk about and advocate for it from now on. I have my surgery tomorrow, so I am a little premature lol, but if I can help just one person who is too scared or too shy to check into it then it will all be worth it. I don't care what anyone else thinks, asking for help or looking to interventions to give you what you want in life should not be something that is looked down at. I guess all those skinny people who get a kick out of picking on the obese will have to go turn their attentions somewhere else, I feel they do it to build up their pathetic lives and you know the old saying that misery loves company.

I really wish my BFF would get it. She was always overweight, always. When I told her I was getting it done she wasn't really supportive, but she knows I wouldn't care anyway. She said she could do it on her own, she just has to get back to the gym. I of course keep my mouth shut, no offense to her, but she has never been able to lose more than 30 pounds and she probably has a good 80 or 90 to lose and she is one of those people that is not happy with herself and constantly wants to be skinny. I am hoping to be an inspiration to her too.

Good luck to all of us and let's not try to let our haters and unsupporters get us down!

[pumpkin07 32]

I had surgery a long time ago, over a year and a half ago. I don't talk about it to most people because they just don't have any interest in it. It is sorta rude that they don't care and are uninterested, but most people are not interested in things that do not impact their own personal life.

People like to say you've lost so much weight, you look great. But most people don't want to know you had weight loss surgery. As soon as you tell them it is like you just told them something tooooooo personal. And with most people you don't have that close of a relationship, they are mostly acquaintances. They ask how you lost it, but they really don't want to know it was weight loss surgery. Best to just say, I eat more Protein and less carbs.

So I just really try not to mention it, because it is uncomfortable for people to hear for some reason. Maybe it is kinda like telling someone you had hemmorroid surgery. No one would want to know that either!!! I don't think of it the same, and I didn't know people would react so negatively to WLS. But they do. So if it were your hemmorroids you wouldn't go around talking about it, right? So I guess it is just something for close family to know or close friends but not acquaintenances.

When I started this journey I was very open, but now I think people that don't tell a lot of people at work or whatever are smart to keep it private. It really is no ones business.

[MsC 0]

Fact: Obesity is the last socially acceptable prejudice. We are the freaks that everyone is allowed to look at and judge. It is not socially okay to comment on race, mental or physical handicaps, learning disabilities, gender or sexuality especially in the work place.

Sometimes I feel that I exist -- that my zen purpose on the planet is to make others feel better about themselves. As the fattest person in the room I take the pressure off of everyone else's ego. Their inner voice says "at least I am not THAT big."

It is my opinion that, while shows like The Biggest Loser like to pretend that they are doing some sort of public service, they are really just seeking viewers much like a carnival sideshow. They trot out the desperate, voluminous, fat-rolled contestants and the audience is given want they want. They want those fat people pushed to the point of tears. They want to see them struggling, dripping with sweat and prostrate with exhaustion. We are a curiosity. We are like the villain in the wrestling match; the audience wants to see us brought down a peg. And the insecure people can feel better about themselves because we exist.

Am I being too blunt for a Sunday morning? I am one of the morbidly obese. I am due for surgery 9/23.

And if you will allow me one more opinion... morbid obesity is not about slovenliness and hedonism. I have been fat since I was 7 years old. I have been on a diet my entire life. I understand nutrition. I understand the glycemic index. I understand simple vs. complex carbs. I have always taken my own lunch to work and everyone has marveled at how healthy I eat. Here is what I know. My body is too efficient. My body, like those of our cavemen ancestors, conserves and stores. If I eat carbohydrates my body will conserve my fat and store any extra carbs for survival -- even though I do not live in a time of food shortage.

My tiny co-workers from Asia eat ALL THE TIME. Seriously, if my boss weights 100 lbs. I would be surprised and yet she ordered FOUR meals at IKEA and ate them all. She eats constantly. It is about how our bodies handle food. Metabolism.

I know this post sounds like I am a bitter person but I am decidedly not. I am so lucky in my life. But I HAVE been occasionally called blunt . My husband just reminded me (as Dave Chappell taught us) sometimes keeping it real goes wrong! I do not mean to offend with any of my comments and opinions. Much love to you all.

[Escape_Pod 358]

MsC, best of luck on your surgery next week!! We'll look forward to seeing you (and your bluntness and opinions!) on the loser's bench.

You make an interesting point about the Biggest Loser. I've always wondered about the viewer demographics - are they smug thinner people, enjoying the feeling of superiority and feeling validated in their opinions, or are they desperate people like you and me, wanting so very much to believe it really is possible for them to become thin?

I work with several people who carry a sense of superiority and find it appropriate to josh the occasional individual about their weight or their sense of clothing style. I wonder if they ever realize how blessed they are not to wear their flaws so publicly for the total strangers to pick at and despise.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Fact: Obesity is the last socially acceptable prejudice. We are the freaks that everyone is allowed to look at and judge. It is not socially okay to comment on race, mental or physical handicaps, learning disabilities, gender or sexuality especially in the work place.

Sometimes I feel that I exist -- that my zen purpose on the planet is to make others feel better about themselves. As the fattest person in the room I take the pressure off of everyone else's ego. Their inner voice says "at least I am not THAT big."

It is my opinion that, while shows like The Biggest Loser like to pretend that they are doing some sort of public service, they are really just seeking viewers much like a carnival sideshow. They trot out the desperate, voluminous, fat-rolled contestants and the audience is given want they want. They want those fat people pushed to the point of tears. They want to see them struggling, dripping with sweat and prostrate with exhaustion. We are a curiosity. We are like the villain in the wrestling match; the audience wants to see us brought down a peg. And the insecure people can feel better about themselves because we exist.

Am I being too blunt for a Sunday morning? I am one of the morbidly obese. I am due for surgery 9/23.

And if you will allow me one more opinion... morbid obesity is not about slovenliness and hedonism. I have been fat since I was 7 years old. I have been on a diet my entire life. I understand nutrition. I understand the glycemic index. I understand simple vs. complex carbs. I have always taken my own lunch to work and everyone has marveled at how healthy I eat. Here is what I know. My body is too efficient. My body, like those of our cavemen ancestors, conserves and stores. If I eat carbohydrates my body will conserve my fat and store any extra carbs for survival -- even though I do not live in a time of food shortage.

My tiny co-workers from Asia eat ALL THE TIME. Seriously, if my boss weights 100 lbs. I would be surprised and yet she ordered FOUR meals at IKEA and ate them all. She eats constantly. It is about how our bodies handle food. Metabolism.

I know this post sounds like I am a bitter person but I am decidedly not. I am so lucky in my life. But I HAVE been occasionally called blunt . My husband just reminded me (as Dave Chappell taught us) sometimes keeping it real goes wrong! I do not mean to offend with any of my comments and opinions. Much love to you all.

[swizzly 901]

MsC, I totally agree on every point, and I'm fine with bluntness -- one might say it's my preferred language.

While we're on soapboxes and keeping it real, let's remember that women's bodies are basically considered as public property -- available to be looked at, commented on, even touched without permission (see: pregnant women's bumps, men putting a hand on your back, etc.). And those bodies better be okay with the public or else that is a Bad Woman, a Failed Woman. Of course, it's also not good to have too good a body or to dress sexily, that brings a whole 'nother swath of judgment. And women keep each other in line by criticism and judgment of each other's bodies.

The only way to really deal with all this, of course, is to utterly ignore it and live your life authentically. The judgers and haters can all suck it. Easy way out? You're goddamn right I'm going to take it, I deserve it, I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to be a success with it. And if you don't like it? You are welcome to bite me.

I'm so over listening to the petty gossip of small minds and narrow worldviews.