Self Sabotage

[kipepeo 0]

Hi Everyone,

I was sleeved exactly 3 weeks ago and I have been an emotional wreck this week. Dont get me wrong - I am glad, so glad I have the sleeve, but it is allowing me to understand certain things in my life. In my past, before the sleves, i hid behind emotional issues with food, and self sabotaged any time i was about to see serious weight loss success. I believe this happened to me again this week but it was tougher since I chose to reduce the size of my sleeve.

i was overwhelmed with the thought of food and need to eat, that I got hawaiian scones, toasted them, but some nutella on them and ate them with tea. And i would take breaks and find reasons, within like 30 mins to eat more. I ate almonds, I ate honey roasted peanuts. I ate raisin, etc. Keep in mind, I am only 3 weeks out. I ate so much, I PHYSICALLY HURT. I am still feeling the impact of the hurt today. Thankfully, I couldnt eat major portions of food becuse of sleeve, but I tried.

And it hit me today - i have lost about 33lbs and I am already trying to find ways to self sabotage. What am I so scared of? what am i running away from? why am I so resistant to my own weight loss success?

I will continue to explore ideas to ensure that I do not self sabotage in the future. Further, the pain tells me it is not worth it.

Have you ever experienced self sabotage with your sleeve? at least attempts to?

Any ideas to overcome, welcome.

Thanks,

[meggspeggs 0]

You sound a lot like me. I haven't tried to self sabatoge myself with my sleeve yet. But I can hear the hurt in you. I have had major emotional issues since being sleeved on 8/26/11. I have been very sad and filled with anxiety. And I believe a lot of it comes from not being able to hide deep down emotions with food. I am going to see a counselor next week. I am hoping she can give me tools to prevent self sabatoge and ways to deal with these emotions. Have you considered seeing someone? My heart breaks for you because I know how you feel. I will say a prayer for you. Take care of yourself. xoxoxoxoxo

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I have some of this issues that you are talking about - but haven't gotten to the point of eating the wrong things to any large degree.As you can see by my ticker - I have had good results in the almost 7 months - but this is only 7 months compared to the rest of my life. I feel the pressures and want to respond in the same old ways. food has always been my emotional crutch, and I need help to address underlying issues. I am going to seek professional help - I would recommend you do too.

You can hurt yourself physically if you don't get yourself in control. You don't want a leak. Please take your of yourself

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Please take care, You can ruin your unhealed staple line this early out by stretching it with too much of or the wrong kind of food.... it is still raw in there! I know that eating is not always rational, but please take care of yourself. Make sure you have some "treats" around to fill in the gap, SF pudding, ice pops, and such for when you HAVE to have a food outlet. We don't want to read where you are in the hospital. Perhaps see your nutritionist soon? Or better still the Psych? This is the perfect time to get to the bottom of your impulse. Much luck to you, this kind of thing is hard, I know.

[Escape_Pod 358]

Please, please please look into counseling!! As FeedYourEye noted, you can do serious harm to yourself at this point while you're still healing. I sympathize 100% - I've spent the last year working on my emotional eating issues, and worked my way from the bottom of a deep pit of uncontrollable binge eating to more normal eating, to the decision to proceed with WLS. It's not easy, but it's so worth it, and it's something that will help you succeed in keeping the weight off long-term. I fell off the wagon this week myself, which is dangerous enough at 11 weeks out. Foods like almonds and raisins may take more effort on the part of your stomach to digest than it's ready for at this stage. You're still a long way from your staple line healing, and you don't want to cause a leak!

Think of your sleeve right now as a new baby that has to learn to eat again. Treat it gently, feed it according to your doctor's guidelines, and go slow. You may want to spend a few days back on a liquid diet to let it heal from yesterday's eating and gently reintroduce more solid food.

Please be careful, and take care of yourself.

[kipepeo 0]

Thank you all for your concern and insight. I saw a therapist and will continue seeing her for a while, until i can get control over the reasons why i eat - the emotional reasons, as well as the reasons i self sabotage. I feel much better. Thank you all. PS: Havent done that to myself since then.

[pumpkin07 32]

This is an emotional journey as well as a physical journey.....keep journaling and asking those deep questions to your soul and you will find th eanswers you are looking for. It is a lifetime of habits also, that must be reformed. I used to self sabotage on the scale, the numbers is a big head game for me.

The sleeve is a tool. I have a tendency to graze sometimes still, and eat things I don't need, but usually that is followed by the same number of days of just not being so hungry.

I feel certain with the sleeve and therapy this will work for you. But like others said, don't self sabotage to the point of getting a leak! Smart to go to therapy and work on this.

[kipepeo 0]

This is an emotional journey as well as a physical journey.....keep journaling and asking those deep questions to your soul and you will find th eanswers you are looking for. It is a lifetime of habits also, that must be reformed. I used to self sabotage on the scale, the numbers is a big head game for me.

The sleeve is a tool. I have a tendency to graze sometimes still, and eat things I don't need, but usually that is followed by the same number of days of just not being so hungry.

I feel certain with the sleeve and therapy this will work for you. But like others said, don't self sabotage to the point of getting a leak! Smart to go to therapy and work on this.

Thank you pumpin.

[Greekgod 0]

Self Sabotage is in human nature.. Maybe (like me) u felt that ur weight was the only thing stopping u from achieving certain things.. and now that the weights going, its only natural to be scared. Its like u have nothing else to hide behind now.. u just have to go for it.. good luck