September 27th is my date!! Now my marriage has gone from bad to worse!!

[MsC 0]

All of the advice so far is right on track. The only other thing that comes to mind is to make an appointment with your primary care physician for a consultation with both of you. Your husband needs to see the bigger picture, he is operating out of fear.

Since he feels so strongly that he is willing to threaten to cancel your insurance, he should at the very least agree to get more information from a medical professional. Your doctor has your health history, can speak about your future prognosis in developing diabetes, and also about the option of vertical sleeve as a tool. All questions can be answered by a third party, and the PCP doesn't have a horse-in-the-race (so to speak) because he isn't making money off of the surgery. In fact, your PCP stands to make LESS money because you will have less on-going illness to treat!

I wish you all the best.

[2sweetnsugarland 9]

@Alota Luv: I know you have done everything that you can possibly do to convince your husband that this is the right decision for you. You only have one you. You have to be the best YOU that YOU can be for yourself and your children. Sometimes men just don't get it. My husband wasn't really excited about me getting this surgery, he was mostly scared but he was behind me all the way. I had to explain the surgery to him a few times and he still wasn't comfortable. All I can say is do this for you and only YOU. I hope everything works out for you and your husband. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Take really good care of yourself and please keep us posted.

[smkeller 3]

I was self pay, so I didn't have this insurance sword hanging over my head like you do. My wife, however, was not supportive of the idea, the cost, or my need to do it for medical reasons. She did NOT like me being fat in the least, but she know nothing about WLS and was against it. I had to make my plans, buy my tickets and go by myself without her knowledge or consent. When I got back and told her, she didn't speak to me for a week. Now, though, seven weeks out and forty pounds down, she loves it. Our love life has come alive again. Wheezing just didn't cut it. So, I don't know what to tell you. Some couples break up around this, some get closer. If you died... that's a pretty final breaking up too. Good luck, follow your heart (and head, of course).

Well, here I am again asking for advice from my fellow MARRIED future sleevers & sleevers about what to do about my husband's total rejection of supporting me with VSG.

Before when I posted that I was desperate for his support, I got a lot of people telling me to just do it & that it's my body & my decision. But my heart is breaking!! This is my husband & I just can't imagine the repercussions this will have on the most important relationship in my life (next to God)!! We are in love, we have 2 wonderful children & we're the best of friends. He just turns into a different person when the surgery comes up. Yesterday when I got my date & I shared my joy with him, & he threatened to take me off of the insurance!! He said there was some kind of clause that would allow him to do it one time before open enrollment. I'm devasted!! I have hypertension, sleep apnea & I'm pre-diabetic--which is why I'm doing this now. I'm already 37yrs old & he still insists that I can do it on my own without surgery. If it were that simple, I would've done it over 20yrs ago!!

What in the world do I do? I don't want to lose my marriage behind this, but I don't want to end up hating him down the road either. Woe is me!!

[Infernored 5]

My hubby didn't agree either. We went to extra counseling together and pretty much had to agree to disagree. Post op he is great. He sees how healthy and happy I am getter and more active.

I think it's crazy that your hubby is trying to take you off of the insurance. It's like pulling the plug. No offense, but he's being selfish and he probably thinks you are being selfish. I know your date is coming up quick. Try for counseling. It was my last resort, and while it didn't create world peace, it helped alot. Prayers for you. I hope it all works out.

[GreginMI 76]

Sorry to say but people that love each other as much as you say you both do do NOT treat each other like that and be non-supportive. I'd re-evaluate your relationship. That is NOT love.