Why am I not excited?

[Escape_Pod 358]

I'm getting really frustrated with myself, because I don't seem to be able to find any thrill in this process. I'm not unhappy at all with my progress - I've lost a little over 30 pounds since surgery, a little over 50 since my highest weight. I'm down to a size 14 from 18W/20W. I look much better, and I know that. But when I step on the scale in the morning, and the number has dropped, there's no little jolt of joy. When I can fit into a pair of pants that were too small before, there's no feeling of victory or accomplishment.

Maybe it's because I'm just working my way back to someplace I was before. Just 5 years ago, I was at a weight I was pretty happy with. I fit into clothes I loved, I felt strong and healthy, and I felt so good (aside to the absurd number of hours of exercise I had to do to balance what I wanted to eat and not gain weight). I've got some way to go before I get back there, and I hope to lose more than that. But I feel like I haven't given myself permission to be happy about how far I've come, and where I'm at now. I've accomplished so much since May, and every pound lost is wonderful progress. Why do I still think "meh" when I step on the scale in the morning?? Why am I not dancing with joy to be shopping in the regular stores and not the plus sizes??

[New start 4]

I'm getting really frustrated with myself, because I don't seem to be able to find any thrill in this process. I'm not unhappy at all with my progress - I've lost a little over 30 pounds since surgery, a little over 50 since my highest weight. I'm down to a size 14 from 18W/20W. I look much better, and I know that. But when I step on the scale in the morning, and the number has dropped, there's no little jolt of joy. When I can fit into a pair of pants that were too small before, there's no feeling of victory or accomplishment.

Maybe it's because I'm just working my way back to someplace I was before. Just 5 years ago, I was at a weight I was pretty happy with. I fit into clothes I loved, I felt strong and healthy, and I felt so good (aside to the absurd number of hours of exercise I had to do to balance what I wanted to eat and not gain weight). I've got some way to go before I get back there, and I hope to lose more than that. But I feel like I haven't given myself permission to be happy about how far I've come, and where I'm at now. I've accomplished so much since May, and every pound lost is wonderful progress. Why do I still think "meh" when I step on the scale in the morning?? Why am I not dancing with joy to be shopping in the regular stores and not the plus sizes??

It might be because you haven't given yourself permission to enjoy it. Or, possibly you don't trust yourself yet - what if I stop loosing, or gain it back, like every other time. You also might be clinically depressed- it is alot of change, and might be worth discussing with your Dr about some options.

[emily_0192010 168]

I haven't been sleeved yet but I am very similar to you. I have lost 32 lbs pre-op and every time I saw the number drop I didn't get excited at all. I forced myself to be proud that I got it off but I am always "okay, I am BACK to ....". I don't feel like I have actually "lost" anything since I "gained" it to begin with. I have never lost a substantial amount of weight before but I have definitely gained it steadily. So in my mind I haven't lost anything, I've just gone back to where I was before. I think for me when I am in onederland I will start being excited, because I haven't been there as an adult.

Please feel better soon And try to be happy!

[Escape_Pod 358]

Thanks gals!! I suspect that's it - I don't feel like I should get credit for losing this "regain" weight, so I'm not appreciating the loss the way I would if it had been 10, or 20 or 30 years since I'd been this skinny. Which is silly, I'd been fighting the regain for quite some time, and feeling like I'd never get it off again, and now here I am, doing it!

Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to count my blessings!!

I read a quote recently I really liked - never let your successes go to your head, never let your failures go to your heart ... or something like that.

[emily_0192010 168]

Thanks gals!! I suspect that's it - I don't feel like I should get credit for losing this "regain" weight, so I'm not appreciating the loss the way I would if it had been 10, or 20 or 30 years since I'd been this skinny. Which is silly, I'd been fighting the regain for quite some time, and feeling like I'd never get it off again, and now here I am, doing it!

Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to count my blessings!!

I read a quote recently I really liked - never let your successes go to your head, never let your failures go to your heart ... or something like that.

That quote is very similar to one that I've loved since high school and is actually in my profile pic! "suceess is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts" seems like we think alike in a lot of ways!

[Escape_Pod 358]

Thanks Emily!!

Your surgery's coming up so soon, you must be very excited. You've done an AWESOME job on your pre-op weight loss - congratulations! Guess we'll see you on the loser's bench next week!

[emily_0192010 168]

Thanks Emily!!

Your surgery's coming up so soon, you must be very excited. You've done an AWESOME job on your pre-op weight loss - congratulations! Guess we'll see you on the loser's bench next week!

Wow...losers bench next week. I can't wait! Thanks

[fern 195]

If the weightloss is not exciting you, find something that will! I started walking.... Then running!! I was so overjoyed when I hit 5 min straight on the treadmill.... Then 7.... Then 10.... Now I do a 5k each day for my short runs. I'm working on 10!!! I bought a bike and ride with my dog. Find something you enjoy and beat your time every chance you get. Not only will you feel great, you lose more too : )

[thinoneday 445]

I'm getting really frustrated with myself, because I don't seem to be able to find any thrill in this process. I'm not unhappy at all with my progress - I've lost a little over 30 pounds since surgery, a little over 50 since my highest weight. I'm down to a size 14 from 18W/20W. I look much better, and I know that. But when I step on the scale in the morning, and the number has dropped, there's no little jolt of joy. When I can fit into a pair of pants that were too small before, there's no feeling of victory or accomplishment.

Maybe it's because I'm just working my way back to someplace I was before. Just 5 years ago, I was at a weight I was pretty happy with. I fit into clothes I loved, I felt strong and healthy, and I felt so good (aside to the absurd number of hours of exercise I had to do to balance what I wanted to eat and not gain weight). I've got some way to go before I get back there, and I hope to lose more than that. But I feel like I haven't given myself permission to be happy about how far I've come, and where I'm at now. I've accomplished so much since May, and every pound lost is wonderful progress. Why do I still think "meh" when I step on the scale in the morning?? Why am I not dancing with joy to be shopping in the regular stores and not the plus sizes??

Trust me, your not alone in this. . . I've only been excited 1 time and that was when i got my first weigh in after 7 weeks post op and had lost 53 lbs! I was beside myself. . after that the attitude is whatever. . . now i've lost 150 lbs and it's still "meh" . . . i think it's cause we've tried so hard all our lives that this isn't that exciting anymore, we're tired and i know for me that there are other things in life now to be focused on and happy about OTHER then my weight. . . Oh mind you, I would get pretty darn excited and frustrated if the scale should go the other way. . . want to hear about that! EEEKKK i'd be shreeking everywhere and I'm sure you folks in England and all over Europe would hear me at that! (and I'm from San Antonio TX) LOL. . . . no seriously now, i think it's just wore off after all this. . . . good luck and keep up the great work. . .

[kellyw74 258]

I think it takes time for our brains to catch up with us. I too felt this way and thought "when will it ever be enough??" Someone posted something to me about me needing to let myself be happy and I needed to hear that. I thought I wasn't worthy or something and that what I had acomplished at that moment was not good enough.

I have come a lot further since that day and I am here to tell you that one day it will just click and you will feel awesome! I think mine was when I could fit into size 10's. That was the happiest day of my life. NEVER in my life did I wear a 10. I can remember in the 6th grade wearing a 13!! I now wear an 8, but really need a 6.

You will get there. WE as sleever's just need to realize that our minds our funny and even at the size I am now, I don't see me as being this small. Others tell me how thin I am, I don't get it. I mean, I know I am thinner, but I don't see me like they do. My dr. tells me that one day I will. It just happens so fast that our brains can't catch up that fast.

Please allow yourself to be happy tho!! Happiness comes from within and you deserve to be happy! Go buy yourself something nice!

Hugs!

Kelly

[A New Day 5]

I'm getting worried about this very thing since I've gained a lot of my weight just this past year. I need to lose 85 and 50 is just from this last year. I hope I can find joy in feeling better and being smaller anyway.

[weho 103]

Great insight Emily. I think at times I can relate with you Escape. Four months post surgery and I am just now at the weight that I was 3 years ago, although I am not at the size that I was 3 years ago; I get pissed at myself for abusing my body like I have. But overall I know that I have done something to change the course of my life. Try to draw motivation from anything that you can! Enjoy each success and reward yourself.