Please do not remain silent about your "Sleeve"

[Papa Jack 86]

Here's my two cents. I did not tell anyone but my boss. While I was out I asked him to let everyone know. I was out two weeks. When I came back & they saw the weight I was losing I had several people come to me in private about the surgery. I have talked to wives, family members & co-workers. People do not know about the sleeve. I have had wives burst out crying ( along with me ) when they see now there is HOPE. (remember this feeling) I have given out books about WLS.

One women stopped me & asked how I had lost weight & said she was signing up for weight watchers again. While talking to her she logged on & scheduled a appointment for the Sleeve. She has been fighting her weight for the 25 years we have worked together.

Most of the help has been for grown son's & daughters who needed help but did not know it was out there.

How many people will not better there lives because people stay silent?

Just my two cents worth.

[ILKrista 36]

Hey Papa Jack,

I agree about telling people about the sleeve, most people have no idea what it is. I hope that by telling, I'm helping someone else find a path to happiness. Afterall, I would have never looked into WLS if a coworker's husband hadn't been honest about his. At the same time, not everyone is comfortable talking about it and letting others into their private life. I say that means those of us willing to talk just have to talk a lot louder about it. lol. Good luck on your journey!

Krista

[Tiffykins 673]

I'm with 100%. I have had 5 friends have the sleeve since I was so open about it.

My personal conviction is that the stigma of weight loss surgery and all the judgment are only perpetuated by people being shameful and worried about what other people think of their choice to move forward with surgery. We received tons of judgment while obese, and let's not forget the constant ridicule. I'd much rather be judged, and ridiculed for taking the easy way out, gaining my health, and being a skinny b*tch over being fat any day of the week. Once everyone stops being ashamed of WLS, the positives will outweigh the negative, and people will see the benefits of WLS and the positive changes that occur due to us taking that "last ditch" step to better ourselves ! ! !

[minniekitty 44]

I agree, although I have largely remained silent about it. Since I had the surgery so recently, I guess part of me is afraid "jinxing" myself. I mean, imagine how embarrassing it would be to tell the world I had WLS and then barely lose any weight. What if I gained the weight back?

As fat or formerly fat people, we all know how mean people can be. We all have heard the snickering of people gossiping about "that person" who had the RNY (or other WLS) and gained back all the weight. I think a lot of the fear of sharing our WLS story is a fear of failure.

I had no idea when my aunt had the sleeve 2 years ago. She lost weight so fast, I actually thought she was starving herself because all she would do is drink Isopure. She only told me about her surgery earlier this year. I didn't even know what the sleeve was until then. Would her being more honest than "I had a hiatial hernia removed" have helped me sooner? Possibly.

[janinemaire 7]

I completely agree, I should wear a t-shirt saying I had the sleeve surgery, I tell so many people. People I've seen but we never spoke would ask how I lost so much weight. They all seem to know someone that should have wls. So far no one has said anything negitive.

[ThatDudesMom 13]

Totally agree. I have been very open from the get go, including sending out an all school e-mail to the teachers and staff I work with, and then to the parents of my students. Any time anyone asks me how I lost weight don't hesitate to tell them that I had weight loss surgery. Sometimes it turns into a conversation that I do not mind having. I have never regretted telling anyone.

It's interesting that you posted this...because I was just thinking that being open and telling people might be the seed some need to eventually explore the option for themselves.

Power to the Sleevers!

[MeMeMEEE 206]

Every time I read the "What should I say that isn't a lie?" threads they upset me. I think people need to know! There are so many people who have thought about WLS and not had anyone to ask about it - so they hear the negative comments that float the edges and keep quiet about their thoughts and don't act. I have had 2 friends ask me lots about it, both had considered it but never looked any further, one is getting ready to schedule an orientation. I don't know if either will follow through but I feel by being open I gave them a person to ask about it. I sure said forever I would never do it! Then I started hanging around with a friend who had RNY like 10 years ago and asking her things, observing how she ate, lived, etc and it put a bug in my brain - I started looking in to it. You just never know who you may lead to a new life!! The stigma is there because people are so silent about it - break the stigma!

[RebaC 0]

I have not told many people about it, but I did tell my boss and my co manager about it as I was not sure how long I would need to be out for the surgery. I had my surgery in June. My co manager decided to get this surgery herself a few weeks ago. I have a local doctor and my insurance paid and have follow up while she was self pay and went to Mexico. The drawback for her is no follow up and support groups that my local doctor has.

The one thing that bothers me about telling her is that I spent almost a year on a supervised medical diet, did a lot of research and took a great deal of time to research this option before proceeding. I had to see the nut, have a psych session, discuss with my health care providers. It took me a lot to get to the point of doing the surgery. I feel she decided once she saw how much weight I was losing that she would go get the surgery without at all doing any research on her own. She decided and had it done within a few weeks. I worry because she does not have the follow up and is not taking the proper Vitamins, or eating the proper recommended diet that most of us follow because we have local nutritionist counseling and all the local nursing support and follow up support from our doctors.

So is telling a good or bad thing? I am happy she is losing the weight, but at what price to her? I think sharing a personal choice, but I wish I had not told her because I worry that her health may suffer since she is not doing this the right way.

If you decide to tell someone, make sure it is the right person.

[MeMeMEEE 206]

You will be her support, she will come to you when she isn't sure about something or has a problem. You are sort of her mentor. I agree those of us who had to go through the "hoops" will probably be better off in the long run as we have the extra follow up and support needed. Back 10 years ago there were bariatric clinics all around and they rushed them in and out - I have a friend who had RNY then and she hasn't ever followed any rule, she doesn't take Vitamins and just knows it is Vitamin related when she has problems. It's sad, and everything I say she says "I was bad and didn't do that." She says don't follow my example! And I sure won't!

I have not told many people about it, but I did tell my boss and my co manager about it as I was not sure how long I would need to be out for the surgery. I had my surgery in June. My co manager decided to get this surgery herself a few weeks ago. I have a local doctor and my insurance paid and have follow up while she was self pay and went to Mexico. The drawback for her is no follow up and support groups that my local doctor has.

The one thing that bothers me about telling her is that I spent almost a year on a supervised medical diet, did a lot of research and took a great deal of time to research this option before proceeding. I had to see the nut, have a psych session, discuss with my health care providers. It took me a lot to get to the point of doing the surgery. I feel she decided once she saw how much weight I was losing that she would go get the surgery without at all doing any research on her own. She decided and had it done within a few weeks. I worry because she does not have the follow up and is not taking the proper Vitamins, or eating the proper recommended diet that most of us follow because we have local nutritionist counseling and all the local nursing support and follow up support from our doctors.

So is telling a good or bad thing? I am happy she is losing the weight, but at what price to her? I think sharing a personal choice, but I wish I had not told her because I worry that her health may suffer since she is not doing this the right way.

If you decide to tell someone, make sure it is the right person.

[lsereno 2,525]

I am very matter-of-fact and I prefer to just be honest. I told all my family and friends about my surgery, and I mention it to strangers as appropriate, like at a restaurant when the waiter says "Didn't you like your food"? At 54, I was worried if I didn't tell family and friends, they would be concerned for my health when I suddenly began dropping weight with no explanation. I want to give people the chance to be supportive and caring. If they chose instead to be judgmental, I can let that negative stay with them. I really don't run into that much.

I want people to know the option is out there, whatever they decide to do about it. I want to lessen the stigma associated with WLS. I don't want people worrying about what is wrong with me or the food they are serving. I want to be free to concentrate on healing and adjusting to my new live with my sleeve.

Lynda

[longer-life 139]

I will always be grateful to an old college friend for answering my question honestly when I asked about her weight loss. She could have easily made up a story, since she lives overseas and I only "see" her on Facebook.

I have "only" told my closest friends and family members because I don't want to hear other peoples horror stories. After surgery I will tell the world. I hope I can help someone as my friend helped me.

[Papa Jack 86]

I have not told many people about it, but I did tell my boss and my co manager about it as I was not sure how long I would need to be out for the surgery. I had my surgery in June. My co manager decided to get this surgery herself a few weeks ago. I have a local doctor and my insurance paid and have follow up while she was self pay and went to Mexico. The drawback for her is no follow up and support groups that my local doctor has.

The one thing that bothers me about telling her is that I spent almost a year on a supervised medical diet, did a lot of research and took a great deal of time to research this option before proceeding. I had to see the nut, have a psych session, discuss with my health care providers. It took me a lot to get to the point of doing the surgery. I feel she decided once she saw how much weight I was losing that she would go get the surgery without at all doing any research on her own. She decided and had it done within a few weeks. I worry because she does not have the follow up and is not taking the proper Vitamins, or eating the proper recommended diet that most of us follow because we have local nutritionist counseling and all the local nursing support and follow up support from our doctors.

So is telling a good or bad thing? I am happy she is losing the weight, but at what price to her? I think sharing a personal choice, but I wish I had not told her because I worry that her health may suffer since she is not doing this the right way.

If you decide to tell someone, make sure it is the right person.

Better than being fat. I did the same thing. I saw it on Dr OZ & made a appointment. I was sleeved 2 weeks later. My insurance saw I had a BMI of 43.& it was covered. Have her sign onto this & other forums. She will do ok. Remember she has you to help & she has been fighting her weight also. So I think she will do ok.

[RebaC 0]

My friend had a BMI of 30 and no other health issues like I did. I had HBP, high triglycerides, see a cardiologist for a heart issue and had borderline diabetes. She is 5' 7 and weighed 188. I have offered her my reading materials before and after her surgery and tried to coach her on the Vitamins and diet. She declines, so I have adopted an attitude of "I need to only worry about myself and let this go". I am happy for her that she wants to "look better" and lose the weight, but I an not her doctor or her nutritionist.

Better than being fat. I did the same thing. I saw it on Dr OZ & made a appointment. I was sleeved 2 weeks later. My insurance saw I had a BMI of 43.& it was covered. I am here & my doctor has a after care program. Have her sign onto this & other forums. She will do ok. Remember she have you to help & she has been fighting her weight also. So I think she will do ok.

[longer-life 139]

RebaC in my opinion you did the right thing by telling her about your surgery in the first place and offering help numerous times. The rest is on her as an adult. I just wish her irresponsibility doesn't stop you from helping others.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I told my family and co workers before surgery. And close friends...Now I tell anyone who asks. In my business I "know" a lot of people, but don't see them for long stretches of time, so I still often have people ask me how I lose the weight. I tell them and so far don't get any negativity from them. I have one friend who went and got the sleeve only one month after me (she didn't know anything about it until I told her), have one co-worker in the system talking to the Docs and such... and two more right on the edge of making the move. Even if I gain half of this weight back (fingers crossed that won't happen!) this has been a successful surgery. I don't feel bad about telling others at all and want them to have a chance to make the same choice I made if they want to.