What do I tell people?

[DreamLife36 6]

I've been off work for a few weeks. I'm a teacher and my child attends the school where I teach. Everyone knows Ive been "very" ill. They know that I had surgery. What do I tell them when they ask me what type of surgery I had? Ive tried the " major abdominal surgery" excuse, but I think I need something better..more specific.

What should I say?

[meggspeggs 0]

Hmmmm.....how about appendectomy, or gall bladder out, or lysis of adhesions, or a bowel obstruction. All abdominal surgeries that I see at work all the time. Hope this helps!

[ava2011 2]

You can always say it was personal and you would rather not talk about it. Say and do whatever you need to take care of yourself and be happy.

[Charity 0]

My excuse is an appendectomy. No need to tell all.

[To Be Thin 2011 80]

I can so relate!! I would look the person in the eye and say it was a personal woman thing, and all is well thank you. I have said this probably close to 50 times now and not once has anyone questioned me further. My weight is personal and keeping it private tends to be a woman thing and I am a woman..so what I reply is the honest truth!!

The next thing is you need to be prepared when people notice you not eating or eating as much, if its a pot luck, a shower, eating at a resturant what ever, its seems they always ask... and I just say I am having a little stomach issue right now and dont want to press my luck by eating more.

So remember....."its a personal woman thing and all is well thank you"

[Irish Fan 1]

So remember....."its a personal woman thing and all is well thank you"

You're a genius. This made me laugh. It is funny that people think it is okay to ask personal questions these days. I also thought the stomach thing and not pushing it was also very good. I'm a teacher and had my surgery in the summer so many didn't see me in my early days. I didn't tell others. I eat with two others and they haven't said anything about my 6 shrimp and 1/2 c. cottage cheese.

[Marie from Michigan 11]

I guess it depends on the type of relationship you have with the people you work with. After some hesitation, I decided to tell them the truth. I have worked with these people for years and know all about their situations, families, etc. I had planned on just telling them I needed time off for some undefined surgery. The first person I told I was going to have time off for a medical issue, immediately looked at me with panic and fear in her eyes. I knew she thought I had Cancer. I just couldn't let her think that so I told her the truth. Then I decided to tell everyone who asked me about it. It has all been fine. I have had nothing but support. (NOTE: We have lost two co-workers to Cancer in the last year, so the fear is understandable.)

I just didn't want people thinking later that I was lying to them or holding something important back.

Your situation might be very different though....

All the best,

Marie

[sbrown84 0]

When I asked my boss for the time off for surgery, she asked what it was for, I told her it was a 'woman' thing and she jumped to the conclusion that I had ovarian cysts. I never corrected her and I feel really weird about it. But hey I never confirmed it!

It's tough when people start asking. I've told a few people outside of work that it was gallbladder surgery.

[Papa Jack 86]

Here's my two cents. I did not tell anyone but my boss. While I was out I asked him to let everyone know. I was out two weeks. When I came back & they saw the weight I was losing I had several people come to me in private about the surgery. I have talked to wives, family members & co-workers. People do not know about the sleeve. I have had wives burst out crying ( along with me ) when they see they now have hope. I have given out books about WLS.

One women stopped me & asked how I had lost weight & said she was signing up for weight watchers again. While talking to her she logged on & scheduled a appointment for the Sleeve. She has been fighting her weight for the 25 years we have worked together.

Most of the help has been for grown son's & daughters who needed help but did not know it was out there.

How many people will not better there lives because people stay silent?

Just my two cents worth.

[Helen the Cat 42]

At first, was going to keep it a secret, and not tell anyone what I had done. I did tell my best friend at work, and asked her to Please keep it quiet. Well when I went back to work, almost everyone knew. So I guess my friend "forgot" to keep it quiet. I had a number of people come up to me and say they heard I had "taken the easy way out" to lose weight. I finally got up the nerve to tell someone that there was nothing "easy" about having the WLS. That it was major surgery, left me with only a 2-3 ounce stomach, involved lots of education, lots of motivation, a huge amount of determination, and the wonderful benefit of knowing that I will never be fat again. Most people were flabergasted when I said all that. The only person I haven't told is my mother. She is 90 years old, and worries about EVERYTHING. Being a good daughter, I don't want her to worry over something that she can't change or do anything about. So I haven't told her, and since she lives 100+ miles from me, hopefully none of my friends will ever see her to tell her. (When I answer people's questions and tell them about my experience, I add the caveat, "Please do not tell my mother about this if you should meet her. I wouldn't hurt her for the world, and I know she would be hurt and worry about me if she knew. Thank you!"

But now when someone asks me what I have done, I am up front with them and tell them that after many, MANY years of trying to lose weight permanently, I decided to try a different way, not THE EASY WAY, just a Different Way. I am happy to say that it is proving to be a successful way! After reading about Dr. Oz's endorsement of WLS, I decided that being up front about what I have done is best. Most people I know have only known me fat, so they are bound to notice a difference, and want to know what has changed.

But I have to say, whatever works for you is the right thing to say.

[GreginMI 76]

I tell people that ask and so it's spread around work. I don't care what people think about it so it's no big deal to me. Maybe because I'm a man? I don't know but I told people because losing so many lbs in such a short time is bound to cause speculation about surgery anyway and I don't want to continually have to lie about it when getting questioned. Now I won't get any questions. All I get is "you're looking good" and questions about the surgery because people are curious about it. Some are even thinking about getting it now after seeing my progress. To each their own. If you don't want to tell then don't but plan on getting questioned about your weight loss and having to lie a lot. Or being evasive about it anyway and saying it's something else. Just my two cents.

[DreamLife36 6]

Thanks everyone for your input.

I think I'll just stick to the "major abdominal surgery for digestive issue" excuse. I really don't feel comfortable sharing my experiences and health information to people. Even though the people on my job are very close to me. I love them dearly, I just don't want to go into explaining all the details of my weight issues.

[Eyemallrt 16]

My coworkers don't even know I had surgery. I used my holiday time, rather than sick leave. For the month previous to my surgery, I told them I was on a diet, so that when I did begin losing weight, they would not think it was so quick. Now I am 2 weeks post op, I lost 12 lbs in the first 8 days, and nothing since, I'm afraid I may be in my first stall Oh well, the slower I lose, the less suspicion will be raised.I already feel like I could lunch with a friend and order a cream Soup and not have them not notice anything different. The reason I have not told anyone but family is that I don't want to be the juicy topic in town and I also used to work for weight watchers. I don't need their opinions on how I should have lost weight instead or that I took the " easy" way out. I think for someone with a starting bmi as low as mine ( just over 30) I would face even more judgement. I am happy with my decision, and think that it will just continue to get easier and easier to keep my private life private!

[Driver Deb 10]

I always like the honest answers. Why would you lie? Are you ashamed ? The reality is, when they see the weight dropping off, they are going to "talk" and come up with the truth all by themselves, no matter what you say.. People are not stupid. I say be honest !! WLS is nothing to be ashamed of and your experience could possibly help someone else. What if everyone on this board "lied"? We would never get the help we searched for.....

[Eyemallrt 16]

I always like the honest answers. Why would you lie? Are you ashamed ? The reality is, when they see the weight dropping off, they are going to "talk" and come up with the truth all by themselves, no matter what you say.. People are not stupid. I say be honest !! WLS is nothing to be ashamed of and your experience could possibly help someone else. What if everyone on this board "lied"? We would never get the help we searched for.....

What works for you may not work for everyone else. I have never lied!! And I AM sharing my experience here. Thanks for proving my point and JUDGING someone else's choice!! And no people are not stupid, but as you've just shown, they can be very cruel!