Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What made you do it?



Recommended Posts

I had been wishing myself invisible for years. I was so big & I just wished no one would notice me. I hadn't been on a date in 7 years & only had a few trusted girlfriends. I was miserable. The tipping point for me was when I started working as a children's librarian & I would get asked at least once a month by a 3-5 year old "Why are you so fat?" "Why is your belly so big?" They didn't mean it in a mean way, but it was HUMILIATING for me, especially since they would ask in front of my coworkers or while I was in front of their entire class to doing a storytime for a school visit. I didn't want to be the person who was so huge the kids felt they had to ask about it.

Krista

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me it was a couple of things. One being that I love to travel with my kids being a single parent and I just couldnt enjoy our vacations at a heavy weight. It was hard to walk long distances, drive long distances, and ride rides with my children now ages 12 and 5. <BR><BR>My ultimate breaking point was earlier this year when I went for a job interview, a job I really wanted and was well qualified for. I was top two of over a hundred candidates. I thought I could do this, I got this. I was dressed sharp, had all of my answers together and went into the interview with confidence. Well I remember one of the ladies I had a private interview with looked me up and down literally from head to toe the whole interview, even stared at my hands. She had a small office so I'm sure my size was even more magnified. I knew she was saying I dont think this woman can handle the job, she's too big to handle the demands. I'm 30 years old. Well of course I didnt ge the job, but the way this lady treated me in the interview bothered me and made me have an ahha moment with myself. I stopped job hunting for the moment as I finish my masters degree. Once I'm finished with my degree I want to go back out in the job market confident in my abilities and my apperance. I havent had the surgery yet, this month is my last doctor visit for my supervised diet so hopefully I will have my surgery in November. I'm ready, I'm ready for me, my children, and my career!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As many of you, I too have yo-yo dieted and failed. BUT, what really made me decide was a series of "aha" moments. My kids are teenagers now and I have made them miss out on sooo many things because I was too fat/embarrassed to take them when they were younger. The beach...only if it's private. Skiing....avalanche anyone?? Vacations....always planned around MY limitations. It is VERY embarrassing to start to breath heavy when going up a slight incline!! My kids deserve better. My husband deserves better. I deserve better. I want to play with my future grandkids, not be dead or in a jazzy scooter.

@Shea- I can relate to the interview. As I got fatter, I noticed my job recognition/opportunities faded. People seem to think fat equals incompetent and lazy.

Oh, one last one...I am in NO pictures. It's like I don't exist. Holidays, birthdays etc. I took all the pictures so I couldn't be photographed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So many times I felt the same way!! Almost like I wasn't given an opportunity because of my size. It is so disturbing. Now that I have lost 100lbs, it is amazing how differently I am treated and it almost makes me mad. I mean it is nice to finally be treated right, but at the same time I think, if I were 100lbs heavier, you wouldn't treat me that way. HOW SAD!!!

I am proud of you for making your health and career a priority. When you do have your surgery, go get em' and never settle for less than you deserve!

Hugs,

Kelly

For me it was a couple of things. One being that I love to travel with my kids being a single parent and I just couldnt enjoy our vacations at a heavy weight. It was hard to walk long distances, drive long distances, and ride rides with my children now ages 12 and 5. <BR><BR>My ultimate breaking point was earlier this year when I went for a job interview, a job I really wanted and was well qualified for. I was top two of over a hundred candidates. I thought I could do this, I got this. I was dressed sharp, had all of my answers together and went into the interview with confidence. Well I remember one of the ladies I had a private interview with looked me up and down literally from head to toe the whole interview, even stared at my hands. She had a small office so I'm sure my size was even more magnified. I knew she was saying I dont think this woman can handle the job, she's too big to handle the demands. I'm 30 years old. Well of course I didnt ge the job, but the way this lady treated me in the interview bothered me and made me have an ahha moment with myself. I stopped job hunting for the moment as I finish my masters degree. Once I'm finished with my degree I want to go back out in the job market confident in my abilities and my apperance. I havent had the surgery yet, this month is my last doctor visit for my supervised diet so hopefully I will have my surgery in November. I'm ready, I'm ready for me, my children, and my career!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My driving force was my kids... My desire to be active and participate in my kids lives.

I did not want my kids to have to take care of me, like I have to my mom.

My mom is in a wheelchair due to her wieght., she has had both knees and hips replaced, would not stay with the therapy because "it was hard", so it was much easier to live her life in a wheel chair rather than try to get up and walk.

I realize how many things my mom miss' out on because of her wheelchair, we cant get it into most houses because of steps, she wieghs over 300 pounds, so to lift her up steps it takes 3 men lifting the wheel chair, it is just a pain... I saw my mom as an active, social woman, let her life go and eat, eat, eat until she litterally could not hold up her wieght anymore and is now handicap.

I swore I would not let that happen to me, and with my weight over 300 I was already heading the same route as my mom. I would not do that to my kids..

My only regret was waiting so long to have this surgery...:angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This summer, there were several moments where I couldn't do something because of my weight. I didn't fit, or I was winded doing mild things. I couldn't even do things I had done a year before. I had managed to maintain my weight for a while, but this summer it seemed to spiral out of control again. I'd done diet pills, and they didn't work anymore. I was feeling ugly, and it was impacting my moods. For a long time, my husband has teased me about my "granny shirts" that I wear to work. This summer I finally explained to him about the limited options in my size. I started talking to him more about my weight and my worries. I thought of all the painful things in the last couple of years and realized, I needed a more permanent change. I am thrilled with the results, and it has been a month since my surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went to the doctor for a physical and was told I was morbidly obese". It scared me. I have two kids....5 and 7. I think it is horrible selfish to bring children into this world and not do everything you can to live for them. I don't give a crap about vanity. I want health.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the last pair of jeans i had bought were a size 26....i used to fit into a size 6. i swore that i would never end up looking like i do. when i bought those jeans i realized i was already bigger then where i swore i would never get. even though i am still recovering i dont regret it a bit. thank god for making the doctor who came up with this surgery!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some great answers! It seems we all have similar reasons for our decision. And I commend all of you for your courage and fortitude.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, it was the day I started "feeling my weight"... I fell down my basement stairs and injured my back... I was working out 3-4 times a week before my accident.. After I couldn't work out anymore and then 3 months later I broke my foot.. I started gaining all the weight I'd lost back..

That wasn't the main problem.. I started having trouble getting in and out of my truck and climbing the stairs to my 2nd floor. I was doing both of those things w/ ease and 35 -50 lbs more weight. I think the injuries to my back and foot could not heal properly because of my size and the fact that I wasn't moving like I normally did...

This summer reinforced my decision to get sleeved... as I was treated like a "customer of size" by a SWA airline agent... LOL.. I'd flown to DC two weeks prior w/ no problem.. but this guy wants to make a huge deal out of me being on a HUGE plane w/ 40 passengers!!! This nut actually wanted me to purchase a 2nd seat.. and the plane was almost empty!! Of course I asked for a supervisor who immediately told him he was out of line... but I realized then, I couldn't back out of the 6 month MSWL and neither could I be afraid to have surgery in 4 months... I was so hurt and disgusted... I can't imagine being 40 and morbidly obese..

My friends and family don't think I need WLS, only because they don't know how it feels to be in my body.. They see the big personality, the talent and intelligence... but I feel my back hurting and foot aching from walking and standing for so long...

At my appt w/ a pulmonary specialist yesterday he told me that he was proud of me and glad that I made a decision to have surgery.. He said that I am very healthy, but also very morbidly obese and one of those things was going to change very soon!!..

I know which one!!!:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love this topic :)

I had it done because my weight got out of control. Without a serious intervention, I'd continue gaining 10 lbs a year (and likely more over time) indefinitely. I of course tried to monitor and control my food intake, but my stomach was an insatiable beast. I'd eat an entire (huge portion) entree at a restaurant, and STILL be hungry for more. I was a hardcore grazer, but still could fit in huge "meals" with 2nds or 3rds.

I outgrew my 16's (that I hated), and went to the 18's. That was hard for me, moving up a size. I gained 40 lbs in the past 4 years. I thought I was ridiculously fat at 185 lbs, and I looked back at 225 and wished I was that size again.

I used date a guy who was with me while I gained my weight and ballooned from my original 185lbs. He would tell me how I looked disgusting and made him want to vomit. How it was embarrassing to be in public with me, how I looked like a fat loser. I had a prominent 2nd chin and a pendulous belly, he'd say. Granted, he was an a**hole and I am so much better off after I stopped talking to him, but those kinds of comments are hard to let go. The irony is that he had the RNY about 5 years ago, so you'd think he'd have more compassion for my weight problem. I have heard that people who used to be fat can be harder on other fat people, though (probably as a defense mechanism because they don't want to get fat again)...

My weight was an easy "go-to" when someone wanted to hurt me. I was afraid to confront others, because they'd target me for my weight.

I have dieted in the past, but I'd gain the weight back. I admit I probably could have tried "harder" on my diets, but after awhile I'd feel so hungry and deprived that I'd quit after a few months. I still wish that I could have been able to lose weight the "hard" or "real way", but I know that I'd fail. With diet and exercise alone, I'd have a 95-98% chance of gaining the weight back. I wanted a permanent solution. I look to my mom and aunt- both lifetime yo-yo dieters. I didn't want that for myself. My aunt had the sleeve 2 years ago, and for the first time in decades, she's thin and staying thin (although she has gained 15 lbs). I can't give up on this diet, because my new stomach won't let me. My sleeve will carry me on this weight loss journey, even if I kick and scream all the way there.

I let my weight stop me. I didn't want to go out, because I was afraid of being the "fat girl". I didn't have my picture taken, because I hated looking at them. I had people get mad at me for avoiding getting my picture taken. I wish there were more pictures of me now, but there aren't. I want to change that. I know at 23 it may sound odd to say, but I do wish I had the surgery sooner (when I turned 18). Sooner so I could be thin now. Sooner so I could make up for my early young adulthood that I wasted being fat.

Half of my family is obese, and they suffer from hypertension, diabetes, and joint problems. That is not a future I want for myself. I know that reaching my goal weight of 145 won't be a magical cure-all and solve all my problems, but at least I'll not have 80 lbs of extra weight to carry. At least I'll look good and not be fat. At least I'll have my health. At least I won't lose my breath from climbing up 2 flights of stairs. At least I won't sweat at the drop of a hat.

I do worry about regaining the weight if I have kids, though. Oh well, I'll deal with that problem if it happens!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Girly. It hurts but I know after surgery I will be ready to get back into the game. I can't wait to post the success and how I landed my dream job while working my dream body. :P

Shea

So many times I felt the same way!! Almost like I wasn't given an opportunity because of my size. It is so disturbing. Now that I have lost 100lbs, it is amazing how differently I am treated and it almost makes me mad. I mean it is nice to finally be treated right, but at the same time I think, if I were 100lbs heavier, you wouldn't treat me that way. HOW SAD!!!

I am proud of you for making your health and career a priority. When you do have your surgery, go get em' and never settle for less than you deserve!

Hugs,

Kelly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great question: I was tired of being sick and having doctors tell me due to your weight this problem is more serious and I wanted to give my daughter a life with activity, good eating habits so she would not have weight issues. This is what started me on the path of researching WLS, when I made the decision to have surgery was when I received my CPAP machine this was the last straw I refused to go the rest of my life hooked up to a machine before going to bed.

Just Curious, if anybody had a defininig moment when they made up their mind that the weight had to come off. I will start it off. I was at the playground with my son and there weren't many kids around so I decided to play with him. After chasing him around for fifteen minutes I couldn't go on. I was hot, sweaty and felt like I would pass out. I took him away from his fun in the sun so I could get back to my easy chair and the air conditioner. I wasn't gonna let my fatness ruin his childhood.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×