Nervous husbands???

[DGM 7]

My husband is extremely nervous about my surgery. You'd think he was about to have surgery himself. He loves me very much and is just nervous about:

1. the surgery itself.

2. the unknown after the surgery... "what if something goes wrong?" etc. I told him he has the same fears I do but that all will be just fine. Any words of encouragement from the significant others in your lives???

Thanks,

mdg

[lisah25 3]

My husband is extremely nervous about my surgery. You'd think he was about to have surgery himself. He loves me very much and is just nervous about:

1. the surgery itself.

2. the unknown after the surgery... "what if something goes wrong?" etc. I told him he has the same fears I do but that all will be just fine. Any words of encouragement from the significant others in your lives???

Thanks,

mdg

I was the SO two years ago. I was a wreck on surgery day, wasn't a big fan of the whole idea, but as you can see I've gone from that to anxiously awaiting my own surgery.

As far as dealing with someone you love have this surgery, info helps me. So I researched it, knew the pros and cons.

[NJChick 3]

My Dh was nervous too, but at the same time excited for me b/c he knew this is what I wanted and needed.

Ditto's to what Jack said.... the op is fast and pretty darn safe (as compaired to gastric, etc.) and the recovery is fast too.

I too am scared of the unknown but when you read the many many folks that do well it will ease your mind.

Good luck

[*susan* 1,709]

That is very understandable. When I first began researching wls, I was looking at gastric bypass. My dh said no way, he had heard to many horror stories about that, and I had to agree. Then I learned about the band and spent many months researching it. I had him go to the seminar with me and he went and met with the doctor too. That seemed to help alleviate a lot of his concerns. He asked a lot of questions. Has your hubby been to a seminar and met with your doctor? If not, I would suggest that. Knowledge is power and will make him feel better. However, remember, regardless, he loves you and is still going to be worried and nervous until the doctor comes out of the surgery and into the waiting room and tells him everything is fine and you are doing great.

[Yoda 0]

I agree with Susan 100%. Knowledge IS power. My DH went through the whole process with me...research, pre-op appts etc He knew as much, if not more about the band than I did. That helped alleviate his concerns a lot. That, and his involvement. Was he still nervous and jittery? Absolutely!!! (as was I!). But it is only because he loves me so much and didn't want anything to happen to me...so that is normal and shows that your DH cares for you.

All that to say....yup, knowledge is power and makes all the difference!

[msbug 0]

My dh is nervous too. He's got a huge phobia of hospitals and says he's seen me go under more times than he ever wanted (2 c-sections, gallbladder, appendix, and an arm surgery in the 12 years we've been together!). But, he wants me to be happy and is willing to go along with it. I'm trying to get him as much info as possible and reassure him as much as possible. Not sure if it's working though!

[RKidder 0]

My husband wants me to be healthy and happy. He went with me to the seminar on 6/15. Awaiting approval from insurance company. Husband has been fantastic about my decision to get the banding done. He did not want me having gastric bypass. Personally, I have 3 immediate close friends and relatives that all had complications from gastric bypass. I am so looking forward to feeling healthy again.

Rachel

[ericsmom 2]

My DH has a hard time expressing any emotion, so when I was going in for my surgery, he just kept saying "Everything will be fine." very matter-of-factly. As if he was trying to convince himself without showing me to much. I had a melt down a couple days before the surgery and was crying and I said, "This is where you put your sensitivity hat on," and he said, "I know, that's why I'm trying to figure out what to say." Then he said, "but this is what you wanted." I told him yes, it is, but he needed to just give me a hug and tell me it was going to be alright and he said, "but it will be alright." When we were in the pre-op waiting I told him that if I had any complications afterward that I didn't want him saying, "this is what you wanted," again. He knew exactly where I was coming from. I never had any complications, and so he's been very good now that he knows he was right and it really was alright.

I hope your DH supports you the best way he can. I've learned to just ask for what I want, because if I wait for it, it may never come. Good luck

[Josette 2]

I took my hubby to my seminar and we walked out and I asked him "What did you think?" and he said "well now I'm more nervous!" I said "why??" he says "how are you going to stop drinking pepsi???" hahaha. He's worried about my not drinking pepsi! He's nervous about it but handling it all pretty well! Being very supportive.