Does Doubt really mean Don't?

[HappyFace 5]

As I wait for what seems like an eternity (it's only been 1 week since I received the all clear) to get my surgery date, my nerves are starting to make me a crazy person! Every time I have an ailment, get a headache or have heartburn, I think that's a sign that I shouldn't go under the knife & have the surgery. I also think about the fact that my surgeon doesn't require the pre-op diet, so what if I have a super fatty/slimy liver that I keep reading is bad news? The worst part of this is that I KNOW in my heart of hearts that VSG will turn my life completely around, but I'm starting to feel chicken sh*t. I'm starting to have those morbid 'what if' thoughts, and all of a sudden I'm reading all of these horror stories on line about bad surgery experiences. I am a spiritual person & I rely heavily on my faith to get me through life's trials but I'm so confused!! I usually make decisions with my head instead of my heart because I figure my sound mind won't lead me astray, however, lately, my mind is plagued with doubt. How do I push through?

[Shoppingbeemom 31]

I get this way too. I find it easier to not look up any vsg and to stay away from the computer for a day or so. It brings me back to the basic things. best wishes

[Amanda131 214]

For me, doubt meant don't twice. Eight years after my first attempt and the third time overall, I told myself I was doing this no matter how nervous or scared I became. I cried a lot the weeks before surgery. I was so scared in the pre-op area that I actually prayed and begged God to give me a sign as to whether I should stay or get the heck out of there. At that moment, I felt a profound sense of calm envelop me. I never looked back after that. Like you, my surgeon did not require a pre-op diet and I had the same fears ( btw he said the liver was "beautiful").

You're right in that your life will change dramatically. Mine sure has. And, even though all the changes are extremely positive it can be overwhelming at times.

As for pushing through, write yourself a letter explaining what your life is like due to excess weight, why you are doing this and what you hope to accomplish. That will focus you and be an great thing to look back on.

Best of luck!

Amanda

[Janae 12]

I was in pre-op holding thinking I should just run out the door. Then when the anesthesiologist was putting me under I was certain I would never wake up. Well, here I am almost 6 months later and more than 60 lbs lighter -- the "don't" signals were just my subconscious trying to sabatage my conscious self from doing the right thing!! Be like Nike -- JUST DO IT!

[HappyFace 5]

For me, doubt meant don't twice. Eight years after my first attempt and the third time overall, I told myself I was doing this no matter how nervous or scared I became. I cried a lot the weeks before surgery. I was so scared in the pre-op area that I actually prayed and begged God to give me a sign as to whether I should stay or get the heck out of there. At that moment, I felt a profound sense of calm envelop me. I never looked back after that. Like you, my surgeon did not require a pre-op diet and I had the same fears ( btw he said the liver was "beautiful").

You're right in that your life will change dramatically. Mine sure has. And, even though all the changes are extremely positive it can be overwhelming at times.

As for pushing through, write yourself a letter explaining what your life is like due to excess weight, why you are doing this and what you hope to accomplish. That will focus you and be an great thing to look back on.

Best of luck!

Amanda

Thanks Amanda! You always know just what to say! I'm gonna write that letter & it will be no holds barred! Thanks again for your encouragement; it keeps me on track when I need it most! All the best!

[HappyFace 5]

I was in pre-op holding thinking I should just run out the door. Then when the anesthesiologist was putting me under I was certain I would never wake up. Well, here I am almost 6 months later and more than 60 lbs lighter -- the "don't" signals were just my subconscious trying to sabatage my conscious self from doing the right thing!! Be like Nike -- JUST DO IT!

OMG Janae!! I too will be sleeved (if I can JUST DO IT!) by Dr. Marvin! I've been looking for someone here that has had success with his work & the surgery! You read my mind when you said you thought you'd never wake up. Those are the thoughts that run through my mind on an hourly basis! I'm so glad I joined this support group!! Woo hoo!! Thanks again, Janae!!

[dramagirl28 22]

I asked myself the same question. The truth is, I tried losing weight on my own many times, and lost a bunch and gained it back. You probably have too. I researched this for months and months and made a choice with both my head and my heart. This was the right thing for me to do. As the days got closer, I started getting really scared and doubtful, just like everyone else does. I just let the fear wash over me. I let myself cry. I let myself be scared. But I knew in my heart that I made the right decision. I was in the holding area crying and holding my dad's hand and telling him that I loved him in case I never got another chance to say it, and he said to me "Honey, we put our trust in other people every day. We get out on the highway and trust that other people know how to drive. Any one of those hundreds of cars can kill us in an instant, but that doesn't mean we never leave the house. We voluntarily get on the road and live our lives." So this is me, saying to you, get on the road and live your life. Trust your surgeon. Trust your decision. As soon as you wake up, the fear will be gone and you will be happy. I promise.

[kellyw74 258]

You know, I am a firm believer in fate!! I believe if it is my time to go, I will go. No matter what I am doing, I will go!

So, if you are meant to go, you will. Having surgery or getting hit by a bus. I know that may sound mean, but that is the way it is! Everyone has this fear about this surgery. You just have to overcome it. I was scared too, but then when I got my surgery date and it was TOTALLY real to me, I felt really calm and at peace about it.

I remember I had a two hour drive home from my office visit that day and I thought to myself, "Self, is this really what you want to do???" Becasue it is sooo friggen real now! I felt good about my decision and wasn't scared anymore. I prayed and prayed that everything would work out and it did.

I had lost 100lbs 3 different times on my own, only to gain it all back. I knew this was the gift that God wanted for me. I wasn't scared any more. Even the day of my surgery, I never got gittery or nervous. I knew I was in good hands, not only my surgeon, but God's hands.

You will be too!

Kelly

[nilesmama08 0]

You know, I am a firm believer in fate!! I believe if it is my time to go, I will go. No matter what I am doing, I will go!

So, if you are meant to go, you will. Having surgery or getting hit by a bus. I know that may sound mean, but that is the way it is! Everyone has this fear about this surgery. You just have to overcome it. I was scared too, but then when I got my surgery date and it was TOTALLY real to me, I felt really calm and at peace about it.

I remember I had a two hour drive home from my office visit that day and I thought to myself, "Self, is this really what you want to do???" Becasue it is sooo friggen real now! I felt good about my decision and wasn't scared anymore. I prayed and prayed that everything would work out and it did.

I had lost 100lbs 3 different times on my own, only to gain it all back. I knew this was the gift that God wanted for me. I wasn't scared any more. Even the day of my surgery, I never got gittery or nervous. I knew I was in good hands, not only my surgeon, but God's hands.

You will be too!

Kelly

Thank you for posting this!!! I place all of my trust in God. Thank you for your powerful message! It truly helped me.

[Tippy2us 11]

Well said Kelly!

Thank you for posting this!!! I place all of my trust in God. Thank you for your powerful message! It truly helped me.

[longer-life 139]

I was in the holding area crying and holding my dad's hand and telling him that I loved him in case I never got another chance to say it, and he said to me "Honey, we put our trust in other people every day. We get out on the highway and trust that other people know how to drive. Any one of those hundreds of cars can kill us in an instant, but that doesn't mean we never leave the house. We voluntarily get on the road and live our lives."

I like your dad a lot!

[Amanda131 214]

Thanks Amanda! You always know just what to say! I'm gonna write that letter & it will be no holds barred! Thanks again for your encouragement; it keeps me on track when I need it most! All the best!

Ah, thanks and anytime!

[A New Day 5]

You know, I am a firm believer in fate!! I believe if it is my time to go, I will go. No matter what I am doing, I will go!

So, if you are meant to go, you will. Having surgery or getting hit by a bus. I know that may sound mean, but that is the way it is! Everyone has this fear about this surgery. You just have to overcome it. I was scared too, but then when I got my surgery date and it was TOTALLY real to me, I felt really calm and at peace about it.

I remember I had a two hour drive home from my office visit that day and I thought to myself, "Self, is this really what you want to do???" Becasue it is sooo friggen real now! I felt good about my decision and wasn't scared anymore. I prayed and prayed that everything would work out and it did.

I had lost 100lbs 3 different times on my own, only to gain it all back. I knew this was the gift that God wanted for me. I wasn't scared any more. Even the day of my surgery, I never got gittery or nervous. I knew I was in good hands, not only my surgeon, but God's hands.

You will be too!

Kelly

That really touched me. Thank you.

[meghuffman 4]

I'm glad you discussed your faith because as someone who has always been a worrier, surgery is never something I have feared (this will be my 4th surgery, not counting other procedures for which I've been put to sleep) . My faith is that when it is my time to go, it is my time to go- whether I'm on the operating table or in my recliner. My surgery is Friday and if that is the day the Lord is going to call me Home, then even if I cancel the surgery, I will go another way.

Having said that, I will tell you that I don't think any of us have gone through this and not worried about something. I've had several hiccups with pre-surgery things. I have never once thought that was a reason to cancel my surgery. Instead, I have realized that it have given me more patience and more strength, both of which will be blessings to have after surgery.

Continue to pray and God will lead you to what He wants you to do. AND STOP READING ONLINE SURGERY HORROR STORIES! haha

Much luck. I'll send up a prayer for you.

[lunarose 97]

I felt the same way before my surgery. I even wondered if one of my cats getting sick a week before my surgery was a sign. I did not have a pre op diet beyond liquids for 72 hours before. I think it is normal this is a big deal. What helped for me was to keep thinking about the what ifs, if I did not go through with it. My weight was literally killing and I knew that if I did not get the wls surgery I'd end up on an operating table for some emergency weight related disaster.