My Family Will Not Support My Decision

[GonnaLoseIt 33]

I have decided to get the gastric sleeve done by Dr. Aceves.

My husband is luckily supportive, but the rest of my family is very unsupportive.

My mother literaly said why don't you just try Jenny Craig, and that I am taking the easy way out.. I am so hurt and upset, how did you guys convince your family it was the right thing.

I need my dad to cosign on a loan for it, and he is willing but my mom will not let him.

[Veda 12]

Perhaps giving your family some time to adjust to this news might be helpful. If there are group meetings close to you, your parents could attend so they can learn more of the facts together with family members of other potential patients.

It's pretty strange to find out who is supportive and who is not. In the end, those who love you want you healthy and happy. Your mother might be speaking from a place of fear for you, but the words are coming across as harsh. If you show her respect and love, I bet she'll come around.

[kekerene 35]

I would also let them read up on Dr. Aceves on the forums, so many people have such wonderful things to say about him. I could not find one bad thing about him when I was doing my research. You may also want to let your parents speak with someone who has been through it and how it has changed their life. I had surgery with Dr. Aceves June 23rd and I feel amazing and am down 35 lbs, I had the lap band and had to have it removed due to complications so I did a revision to the sleeve. Dr. Aceves and his team were awesome and I received better care than I have ever received in the U.S. I would be more than happy to answer any questions your mom may have to make her feel better about it. My mom felt the same way, especially when I said I was going to Mexico. Once I showed her all of Dr. A's credentials and all the reviews about him she felt so much better. Good luck to you and I am sure your mom will come around

[NewLife2011 13]

I also used Dr Aceves and I have nothing but praise for him and his medical staff. I would be happy to speak with you and/or your mom too. I really hope things work out for you, I sold my car to pay for the surgery and have no regrets whatsoever.

[bikerchick519 202]

My boyfriend and oldest daughter are not supportive either. My middle daughter is going to Mexico with me along with my dad who is very worried. My oldest thinks you can just diet and exercise and lose the weight with no problem. They just don't understand. My boyfriend is worried also and doesn't think I'm fat. He's super skinny and doesn't understand being overweight. They will come around and be happy for you when you look and feel great later.

[VSG4aHealthierMe 6]

I have decided to get the gastric sleeve done by Dr. Aceves.

My husband is luckily supportive, but the rest of my family is very unsupportive.

My mother literaly said why don't you just try Jenny Craig, and that I am taking the easy way out.. I am so hurt and upset, how did you guys convince your family it was the right thing.

I need my dad to cosign on a loan for it, and he is willing but my mom will not let him.

There really isn't anything you can do to convince them. I sent my mom 4 weeks of research handed to her on a silver platter and her face STILL drops the second I mention surgery. Alot of it is fear, they care about you and they imagine dirty floors and chop shops in Mexico. This surgery is hard enough for ppl to wrap their heads around then throw in Mexico with ppl uneducated on the topic and there WILL be resistance. The only thing I can suggest is that you sit down with your mom and have a very open and honest talk with her. Ask her why she is so against it and when she tells you very calmly respond to her fears. Hopefully you have a mother that can believe that she raised an intelligent daughter who wouldn't rush into something without checking it out from every angle. Her fear may still overpower her logic, as it has with my mom (fortunately I doubt your mom has an uneducated nurse whispering horror stories to her so you are already ahead of me) but all you can do is try. Perhaps she would feel better about it if she accompanied you and hubby to Mexico. Considering you need her on your side to get the surgery it may be worth the additional cost to let her tag along and see the facility first hand. There is a big unknown for her and perhaps her knowing she will be with you will calm her fears a bit. (((HUGS))) I hope she comes around for you.

[GonnaLoseIt 33]

Thank You All! Your support means so much to me. I am so glad there are so many people I can share this experience with, that have gone through it as well. I just wanted to update everyone, I have used your advice, as well as letting my mom know, that I am going through with it either way. She has come around, she doesnt like talking about it, but she has allowed my dad to help me get the financing

[NewLife2011 13]

Thank You All! Your support means so much to me. I am so glad there are so many people I can share this experience with, that have gone through it as well. I just wanted to update everyone, I have used your advice, as well as letting my mom know, that I am going through with it either way. She has come around, she doesnt like talking about it, but she has allowed my dad to help me get the financing

Yay! Congrats and good luck!

[bikerchick519 202]

That is so awesome. I'm happy for you. My oldest daughter is accepting it. My boyfriend still wont go. He says he just can't be there if something goes wrong. But I have my middle daughter and my dad going so I will be in good hands.

[Pinkbetty 2]

My Ex YELLED and screamed at me for WEEKS, months , years, and now, after Ive gone to Mexico. My parents have no idea I went. I lied and said I had to work that week and couldnt find daycare. Thank God my friends were 1000000 percent supportive. So, I feel you. My mother said the same kind of thing.... "you eat less with surgery, right, so why not do that without surgery"? They'd FREAK if they knew. Will I ever tell them? Sure, when Im thin and hot... But not now. So, I feel you. Hang in there. You need to do what's right for YOU. Sorry about the loan thing. I did mine on a credit card and did Dr Kelly , so he was a little less. But you'll find a way. Where there's a will.. there's a way!

[thinoneday 445]

I have decided to get the gastric sleeve done by Dr. Aceves.

My husband is luckily supportive, but the rest of my family is very unsupportive.

My mother literaly said why don't you just try Jenny Craig, and that I am taking the easy way out.. I am so hurt and upset, how did you guys convince your family it was the right thing.

I need my dad to cosign on a loan for it, and he is willing but my mom will not let him.

I NEVER try to convince anyone about something I want for myself. . . it's my body and my life and I'll do with it what I see fit. . . good luck and get your sleeve your going to be so happy. . . and so healthy! Besides you have us for your cyber support. . . we've been there, done that, and let me tell you right now IT'S NOT FLIPPIN EASY! I'm glad your mom came to her senses. . .

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I have decided to get the gastric sleeve done by Dr. Aceves.

My husband is luckily supportive, but the rest of my family is very unsupportive.

My mother literaly said why don't you just try Jenny Craig, and that I am taking the easy way out.. I am so hurt and upset, how did you guys convince your family it was the right thing.

I need my dad to cosign on a loan for it, and he is willing but my mom will not let him.

Okay... relax. IMO, you've got the one person in this WORLD that you really only need the support from. Your spouse. Other than that, everyone else can take a back seat.

This is YOUR LIFE. You have to go with what you feel is the best decision to fix it, make it better, get healthier, feel better about YOU. All that.

You need to put your foot down with your Mom. That is the only way she is going to relent, and if you are reliant on a co-signer and that person is willing to give it - then I guess I'm confused. Take charge of your own life, don't let someone who really can't make the ultimate decisions for you, make ultimate decisions.

Good luck!!!

[minniekitty 44]

I say go through with it. My mom and dad were supportive of me getting the lap-band, but not the sleeve.

I had the sleeve anyway, and I didn't tell them otherwise because I wanted to avoid the confrontation. They were afraid of me having a "real surgery" in Mexico. I was afraid of having the complications that came after the band, and having a re-operation to remove it (which is almost guaranteed after so many years).

You know your body best, so do what you need to do. Your mom will come around, she has to. It's not like they can reattach your stomach!

[A New Day 5]

I've had to insist I do this. I told my DH first, I just told him that he probably won't understand but that it's something I must do for myself. At first he didn't even want to go with me but I finally told him I really needed his support there so he's going now. I was really nervous about telling my mom, and mostly about asking her to stay with our 5 children for the 5 days we'll be gone. I know this is the right decision for me.

I hope everything works out great for you!!! Do you have a date yet? My VSG is October 10th with Dr. Aceves!