About to Embark on this Journey

[Free2BMe 0]

Hello! Communicating this way is new to me, and I'm glad to have stumbled upon this site. Hugs and applause to all of you, wherever you find yourselves on your own journies. My story? How many hours have we got? :-) Let's just say for now that so far I have only gone to one informational session with the University of Michigan bariatric program. Tomorrow I have my first visit with my primary doctor to start off the six months of required monitoring visits - then in the afternoon, I have an hour with the program director / PA and an hour with the dietician. My psych appointment (3 hours) is about a month away. That's pretty darn new to all of this, but from my research so far, the sleeve is my choice of techniques, should I actually have the surgery.

There's a question in my voice because I'm not sure insurance will actually take me, when we get right to that moment. I'm about 5'2", about 240 lbs with BMI about 44. The idea of gaining to 275 to make it to 50 BMI so I can avoid the 6 months of "documented failure" intrigued me, but I decided that would be too sick and wrong for me. My fear is if I actually follow whatever the doctor suggests tomorrow by way of diet and exercise (and what else??) and I DO start losing a little as we go during the next 6 months, when I fall below 218 I will be below 40 BMI - will I disqualify myself for surgery then?? Not sure if I have a greater fear of success or failure ....

I'm also still coming to grips with the commonly accepted view of weight loss surgery as an admission of defeat. I had never considered it in the past, viewing it as a last resort for those who have given up the hope of doing it on their own. But after 35 years of being overweight (since puberty), never knowing myself as a slender adult and having had just a handful of successful, serious, healthy, year-or-longer weight loss efforts at a time, I've changed my opinion of surgery. I now see it as one tool at my disposal ... I am in a hole, trying to dig out - for many years I have scratched and clawed with my fingernails and toes to make it out of the hole, exerting myself for months on end, but always falling back to the soggy dark earth below. This time I don't feel the urge to scratch and claw again - and I look over my shoulder and see there is a ladder called bariatric surgery propped up against the wall of the hole. I feel certain I can make it on my own, if I could only get to level ground. Why not use the tool I have to help me get there?

That's where I am today. I'll write again after all my appointments ... thanks for reading! Take care, all!

[kellyw74 258]

Hello and welcome!!

You will find alot of support and some really great people here. Please keep us updated on your journey.

Good luck to you!

Kelly

[Soon2BMiniMommy 92]

My insurance specifically states that it uses the BMI recorded at the beginning of the process as the actual criteria. Every insurance is different, though, you'd have to call them. That being said, I have had to wait 6 months for my diet plan (changed from three in the middle, gggrrr ) and honestly, it has helped me in so many ways having to wait. More research, more soul-searching, more reading in these wonderful forums on what I need to do to get my head around all the lifestyle and habit changes I need to make. All the possible pros and cons as everyone is different. The list is endless. I honestly feel sorry for those who look into this, go to a seminar, get approved right away and have their surgery two weeks later. You will see these are often the patients that are scared, confused, regretting their decision, having the most problems coping with the loss of food , etc. I really don't think they were mentally, or physically, prepared! These six months have actually gone by pretty quick and while it is hard waiting, it has helped me try to change the way I think about food and how it will all be different next month

Oh, and I have only lost 5 pounds in 6 months *snicker*. Didn't bust my a$$ as both my doc and NUT said the goal wasn't to lose weight, just make damn sure I didn't GAIN any as I would have to start over. It's mainly to show you have received the education on nutrition and exercise and that you can conform to changes and maybe lose a little in the process.

As for the whole defeat/failure thing, I can't even relate to that, but many on here can. I have failed at so many diets and plans over my ENTIRE life (Mom had on WW at 12 ) that this to me is my chance at SUCCESS and LIFE finally!!! Obviously, I can't 'do it on my own', or if I did, it certainly didn't stay gone!! That being said, I am keeping my choice VERY private but only because of all the nasty, judgmental people out there who just love to knock people down when they're successful. People always try to minimize and negate success in any way they can...'oh, sure he drives a nice car, but his inheritance paid for it', or 'Sure they bought a nice house, but Daddy Warbucks supplied the down payment', or 'Sure, she lost 12 pounds, but she had weight loss surgery'. Dammit, even with the surgery, we have worked out butts off (literally) and no one should discount that and my life is too short to deal with ignorant, mean people who love to throw stones.

Phew, sorry about the rant!

Good luck, Sweets!