scared to death

[indy sleever 6]

I have surgery tomorrow. And I am so scared. I cried myself to sleep last night and here I am crying in my coffee this morning. I have a million things running through my head... how could I have let myself get to this point that I need surgery... what the hell am I doing... what if I end up regreting this decision... what if I have some sort of major complication and leave my family behind? I feel trapped. I picture this amazing life of being a healthy weight... then I look at the amazing life I have right now. I want to suck it up and go in fearless but fear has taken over. Before I went to bed last night I read a story posted on this site about a woman who had major complications a month out from surgery. That just did me in. Worst thing I could have done to myself was read that 2 days before surgery and right before bed. I sobbed myself to sleep. Yes I know it is good to know about potential complications but I am so emotionaly drained right now that that little bit of information just pulled me under. So here I sit feeling awfully alone. I am reminding myself that I am young (35) and healthy... on no medications just overweight. And that my surgeon is very experienced. I am going to a good hospital. I need a crystal ball! I need to know I am going to be ok. Have I really tried hard eough to lose weight in the past? I am really leaning on all of you. Only my husband knows that I am going in for surgery. My parents have no idea... and I am super close to them. None of my friends know. My kids don't know because they are only 5 and 8 and this is just too much for them. I promised my little girl that I would go dress shopping with her in the Spring and that mommy would actually by a dress to wear too. Mommy never buys dresses for herself. I want that so bad... but mostly I want to know I will be here for her when she grows up. My kids are so precious to me. I am terrified of them hating their mommy forever if I leave them behind. Lord please give me strength.

[thinoneday 445]

EWWWWW salty coffee! Not good. . . guess what? all your feelings are NORMAL! Everyone has gone through this and we are still all here talking to you about it. . . if it's any consolation, this was my 18th major surgery, I'm deathly allergic to narcotics so my only pain meds are tylenols and they helped with this surgery really well. . . gassy yes, but walk alot and sip your liquids and you'll be fine. . .do the warm liquids, they seem to help better. . . i'm out now almost 2 years and have done great. . . nothing went wrong and i've am as happy as a clam

[indy sleever 6]

EWWWWW salty coffee! Not good. . . guess what? all your feelings are NORMAL! Everyone has gone through this and we are still all here talking to you about it. . . if it's any consolation, this was my 18th major surgery, I'm deathly allergic to narcotics so my only pain meds are tylenols and they helped with this surgery really well. . . gassy yes, but walk alot and sip your liquids and you'll be fine. . .do the warm liquids, they seem to help better. . . i'm out now almost 2 years and have done great. . . nothing went wrong and i've am as happy as a clam

Thank you. Your encouragement means so much to me. Congratulations on your success I am so very hopeful that I will be just like you! Now if only I could stop crying!

[Forensikchic 528]

Thank you. Your encouragement means so much to me. Congratulations on your success I am so very hopeful that I will be just like you! Now if only I could stop crying!

I had the same fears! I cried before surgery too. I was scared to death. I am a week and 2 days post op and I am back at work since Monday! Its not that painful, you will just be really tired. Kinda under the weather feeling. You will do great! Try to stop obsessing and just go head on and go with it!

[Bryn Dawson 9]

Step 1: Breathe.

Step 2: Repeat.

You will do fine! It is completely normal to feel as you do, especially after scaring yourself silly with a complication story right before surgery. We are human, after all, and subject to emotions. But remember all the things that made you want this surgery to begin with? They are still there, being just as good reasons as they were before.

I think the fact that this is 'elective' surgery causes us to get scared more than usual. Because we could opt not to have it, we compound the fear with guilt and shame, neither of which is appropriate. We all know that we have tried again and again to take the weight off permanently without surgery, and that those attempts have failed for whatever reason. It is no shame to ask for the help you need - surgery is that help. And it will help you to be there for your kids for a long time, involved in their lives and living to the fullest instead of trapped by being overweight and by whatever co-morbidities you WOULD eventually have developed that you are now avoiding entirely. Good for you!

Repeat steps 1 and 2 about now.

This too shall pass, hon. You'll be on the other side soon and feeling much, much better. You can do it.

[indy sleever 6]

I had the same fears! I cried before surgery too. I was scared to death. I am a week and 2 days post op and I am back at work since Monday! Its not that painful, you will just be really tired. Kinda under the weather feeling. You will do great! Try to stop obsessing and just go head on and go with it!

I am trying to go with it. I damn near lost it putting my kids on the bus today. My neighbors would have thought I was nuts. I just can't stop crying! Then when I start it just takes over. I need to run into work... but I work with family... and they will be all over me if they think I am sad... because they love me so much... and here come the waterworks again! I am so happy to hear your surgery went well. It really helps to hear the good stories... reminds me of what I am striving for

[indy sleever 6]

Step 1: Breathe.

Step 2: Repeat.

You will do fine! It is completely normal to feel as you do, especially after scaring yourself silly with a complication story right before surgery. We are human, after all, and subject to emotions. But remember all the things that made you want this surgery to begin with? They are still there, being just as good reasons as they were before.

I think the fact that this is 'elective' surgery causes us to get scared more than usual. Because we could opt not to have it, we compound the fear with guilt and shame, neither of which is appropriate. We all know that we have tried again and again to take the weight off permanently without surgery, and that those attempts have failed for whatever reason. It is no shame to ask for the help you need - surgery is that help. And it will help you to be there for your kids for a long time, involved in their lives and living to the fullest instead of trapped by being overweight and by whatever co-morbidities you WOULD eventually have developed that you are now avoiding entirely. Good for you!

Repeat steps 1 and 2 about now.

This too shall pass, hon. You'll be on the other side soon and feeling much, much better. You can do it.

Thank you You are right about the reasons I decided to do this surgery still being there... and now they are so close I can taste them. I am so tired of not participating in the fun stuff because of my weight. I may not have all the health problems but they will come... then not only will I miss out on the fun but I will be sick too. I know this is a good decision but you are right again when you said it being elective makes it different. It really does make a difference somehow. I am embarassed that I am so overweight that I need this surgery. The crazy thing is... no one would guess I am getting ready to do this. I am one of those people that carries my weight all over. And to an extent I can somewhat hide it. The problem is I am not able to hide it from myself. And I know this is the right decision. I need to get this monkey off my back once and for all. Thank you for your encouragement

[Sassygirl06 962]

hi indy;

i am 2 weeks shy of 35, i have no health problems related to my weight, i do have mitral valve prolapse and hearth palpitations. i just had my surgery last night at 5pm. it only took them 45 minutes and they were done. i had some pain, it felt like the begining of the stomach flu. take full advantage of the pain killers that they will give you.

i have 3 kids and i know how you are feeling and the worries that are going through your head. you said that you are going to a good hospital, which is great, and im sure that you trust your surgeon or you wouldnt have picked him. remember that you are doing this to be healthier for your kids and around longer for them. my only regret at less then 24 hours out is that i didnt do it sooner so all my children would have had a skinny mom running and playing with them, going on theme park ride, all sorts of stuff.

im confident you will be just fine, so put your worries out of your head because worrying about something that you cannot fix with worry is a waist of time and energry that could be spent through possitive thinking instead.

there is a power to possitive thinking. you heal faster and have less pain. keep busy today so that the clock doesnt stop for you and before you know it your surgery will be done.

oh and after surgery get up and walk as soon as they will let you. it relieves the pressure of the weight on your tummy and helps you feel better instantly as well as get rid of the gas. i couldnt even count how many times i have walked around the hospital so far. it really does help! i'l keep you in my thoughts and prayers, see you on the other side on the losers bench real soon

I am trying to go with it. I damn near lost it putting my kids on the bus today. My neighbors would have thought I was nuts. I just can't stop crying! Then when I start it just takes over. I need to run into work... but I work with family... and they will be all over me if they think I am sad... because they love me so much... and here come the waterworks again! I am so happy to hear your surgery went well. It really helps to hear the good stories... reminds me of what I am striving for

[Firefly2 9]

Oh sweetheart, I know exactly how you are feeling and I was the same way the day before surgery. Couldn't turn off my water-works!!!! I cried everywhere and on a drop of a dime. I did the same thing as you, I came on here and expressed it the same way you did and one of the best suggestions I got was to take a nice long hot bath while listening to some great music and then in the evening spent the whole night with my kiddos. It was great and relaxed my nerves.

You will do wonderful tomorrow!!!

[indy sleever 6]

hi indy;

i am 2 weeks shy of 35, i have no health problems related to my weight, i do have mitral valve prolapse and hearth palpitations. i just had my surgery last night at 5pm. it only took them 45 minutes and they were done. i had some pain, it felt like the begining of the stomach flu. take full advantage of the pain killers that they will give you.

i have 3 kids and i know how you are feeling and the worries that are going through your head. you said that you are going to a good hospital, which is great, and im sure that you trust your surgeon or you wouldnt have picked him. remember that you are doing this to be healthier for your kids and around longer for them. my only regret at less then 24 hours out is that i didnt do it sooner so all my children would have had a skinny mom running and playing with them, going on theme park ride, all sorts of stuff.

im confident you will be just fine, so put your worries out of your head because worrying about something that you cannot fix with worry is a waist of time and energry that could be spent through possitive thinking instead.

there is a power to possitive thinking. you heal faster and have less pain. keep busy today so that the clock doesnt stop for you and before you know it your surgery will be done.

oh and after surgery get up and walk as soon as they will let you. it relieves the pressure of the weight on your tummy and helps you feel better instantly as well as get rid of the gas. i couldnt even count how many times i have walked around the hospital so far. it really does help! i'l keep you in my thoughts and prayers, see you on the other side on the losers bench real soon

So happy to hear you are feeling good after surgery Sounds like you know exactly how I feel. Those theme park rides are calling my name! I am so ready to live my life. This weight is like a chain... and it is holding back who I really am... who I want to be The procedure at the hospital I am going to is to walk every 2 hours after surgery... even during the night. I am ready to go. I just need to calm down my nerves! I am leaning on my husband for everything... and I have to say the man has been wonderful. He hugged me for the longest time last night as I cried myself to sleep. He assured me I will be fine. The support I am getting from all of you on this site and from him just makes my heart swell Take care of yourself! Keep us posted... I would love to know how you are doing

[MSanti 52]

I felt the same way before surgery. I think it's the not knowing what to expect that really triggers the anxiety. But don't get discouraged! It is absolutely normal to be cautious about what happens to your body! You will do great just think of all of us here who have done this procedure and love it. When I was in the waiting room I thought, "hey, if they can do it why can't I". And I kept repeating that to myself until I felt at ease. Good luck tomorrow and I know you will do great!

[indy sleever 6]

Oh sweetheart, I know exactly how you are feeling and I was the same way the day before surgery. Couldn't turn off my water-works!!!! I cried everywhere and on a drop of a dime. I did the same thing as you, I came on here and expressed it the same way you did and one of the best suggestions I got was to take a nice long hot bath while listening to some great music and then in the evening spent the whole night with my kiddos. It was great and relaxed my nerves.

You will do wonderful tomorrow!!!

I plan to hug those kids all night And pick up both of them... even my 8 year old! I know I won't be holding them for a while and I am sure going to miss that I think I will go out for a long walk and try to clear my head. Spend some quality time with my very special chocolate lab who has been my furry kleenex for the past 12 hours! Poor boy doesn't know what to think! Thank you for taking the time to wirte to me

[Kristy 90]

I think we all go through it!! I did the same thing..anything that anyone said to me the day before I just cried and was so emotional..but I'm now 3 1/2 months out..down 60 pounds and I LOVE MY SLEEVE!! You will do great!! just keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for a healthy you!!!

Best of luck on your Journey!!

[indy sleever 6]

I felt the same way before surgery. I think it's the not knowing what to expect that really triggers the anxiety. But don't get discouraged! It is absolutely normal to be cautious about what happens to your body! You will do great just think of all of us here who have done this procedure and love it. When I was in the waiting room I thought, "hey, if they can do it why can't I". And I kept repeating that to myself until I felt at ease. Good luck tomorrow and I know you will do great!

Thank you I am feeling better... still crying but feeling better. I am hoping the fear subsides at some point today. I have lots to do and I don't want to be running errands with tears rolling down my face! Knowing that so many on here have done so well is encouragement in itself. I am ready to be one of you

[indy sleever 6]

I think we all go through it!! I did the same thing..anything that anyone said to me the day before I just cried and was so emotional..but I'm now 3 1/2 months out..down 60 pounds and I LOVE MY SLEEVE!! You will do great!! just keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for a healthy you!!!

Best of luck on your Journey!!

Thank you And congrats on your wonderful success! We all deserve this