I think I hate food....8months post op

[lolli 3]

So havent been on in a while but im hoping to get some advice from anyone that might have some. It seems like lately iv found that im eating less and less.... about 2months ago i was up to around 600 cals a day, Since then Iv found that iv been eating less and less now im down to under 200cals a day. Its not because I am trying not to eat,(or i dont think thats what it is) its because I am not hungry, and when I am hungry, such a small amount fills me that im full after eating very little. I rarely feel hungry and when I do I usually eat something very small (100 cals or under) and then im pretty much full for the rest of the day. I think maybe some of it could be phycological, I guess part of me is terrified to ever get where I was before, and I feel like I might hold some resentment towards food now.I cry when I think about how I let MY body... the only body that I will ever have get so out of control...I understand that food isnt the enemy and its the food choices you make that matter, but I feel like the more weight i lose the more i dislike food. I feel like im almost scared of food and the power it had over me in the past...Its weird because when your addicted to drugs, alcohol, or gambeling, the only way to break the addiction is to eliminate the addiction completely from your life and be "sober" but you cant completely eliminate food... so its a bit trickier i guess. Has anyone else felt so scared of food that you hate to eat now? oh ya....I am just over 8 months out and am down 80lbs from my day of surgery. I did this surgery not just to look and feel better about myself but also to be healthy... Does anyone have any help/advice? Maybe someone else has felt this way at some point...? Is this normal?

[ILKrista 36]

I don't know if I would say I hate food, but for the most part, I feel apathetic about it. I don't really experience hunger & if I let myself get distracted, I could easily only eat once or twice a day. I have to remind myself that I must eat 6 times to get the needed calories, Protein, etc. The biggest thing that keeps me eating is that I'm losing a lot of hair & I'm afraid if I don't eat right, I'll lose a ton more. However, if you are actually feeling afraid to eat, I would consider going to talk to a psychologist. Because we have eating issues already, we are at a considerably higher risk of developing an eating disorder. Best of luck to you!

[Foxbins 625]

Lolli, I think you need to go talk to someone. Just like food meant something to you other than fuel which caused you to become obese, now it means something to you as you become thin. Food should not have that kind of power over you. You are hurting your body eating so few calories. Until you understand your issues, I encourage you to supplement your tiny meals with a couple Protein Shakes daily or increase your intake. Your body will use lean muscle for energy and you do not want to end up skinny, weak, and with a damaged heart muscle. You need to address this now--please, before it gets worse.

[lsereno 2,525]

Lolli,

I agree with Foxbins. I'd start with your bariatric program. If you can't get in to see them, see your primary care doctor. 200 calories a day is way to low.

I'm thinking of you,

Lynda

[iegal 460]

Oh Lolli - hun, you still have a problem with food. Preop - you were obsessed with food and now, post op you are still obsessed with food. Let me explain. Food used to be your freind and now you view it as your enemy. Logically you know 200 calories a day is killing your self slowly. Only now you use the sleeve to punish your only body since hunger is not felt. Because you do not feel physical hunger does not mean your body no longer requires daily nutrients and calories. Starving the body is the same as before when overeating was out of control You are still out of control. You are guilty still of abuse to your only body causing damage. Now you denying your body of food which is seriously wrong.

Agree with other posters, you need to see a pyscholgist who specializes in eating disorders. This doctor will help your find the balance. You need to learn that food is fuel now and a source of living a healthy life. Do you understand your body is not healthy, even if you see yourself as thin?

Big hugs to you. Thank you for being brave enough to admit you are lost on your sleeve journey and need help. Keep me posted.

[lolli 3]

Thanks to everyone who responded, I definitely acknowledge that even though I am still losing weight I am not taking care of my body, I understand that this has become unhealthy I guess maybe some of it has to do with everything happening so quick because I was cash pay, I literally went in for a consult and came back the next time and made my surgery date, I didnt have the long insurance process that most have (and that is probably an important part of the process for preparing). I guess iv kinda kept this whole thing a secret from everyone close to me, my mom who paid for my surgery and has always been very thin comes to visit me and the first thing she says is "well you dont eat anymore so we dont need to get lunch" her attitude is, you wanted this surgery, you better not screw it up. And my dad who im much closer to and lives right near me, was and still is completely against it. He thinks I turned into a different person, he thinks i always look sick and literally HATES my mom for helping me "butcher" my body. So to admit to either of them that now I seem to have a new problem is going to be difficult but I acknowledge that I need help and I am going to try and talk to my surgeon next time I have an appointment to see what kind of help there is out there for someone in my situation. Thanks again to everyone that responded, It really helps to know that no matter what, there are other people out there that went through this surgery too, and understand me and how im feeling.

[KellyL 173]

A lot of it has to do with self-esteem and self love. And from what you said about your parents, you are seeking their approval and love, which of course we all want and need. I can totally relate to this!! No matter what they say or how much they judge you or criticize you, they still love you. Some people just don't know how to communicate this properly. Just work on loving yourself and taking care of yourself. I know this is harder than it sounds and it may require therapy. I know for me, I don't think I actually felt I was worth it. Like I somehow didn't deserve to be happy anf healthy. I was always putting everyones needs or wants ahead of my own and actually thought it was a good thing and it made me a good person. But I do deserve to be happy and healthy, and so do you!! Take care of yourself!