Fear and Anxiety Getting to Me

[HDubSleevery 25]

I am coming here because you folks are always the ones who can help me when I need it the most.

I am exactly one week away from my surgery date and I am scared, nervous, and anxious all at once. I have been great up until today. I started my pre-op diet yesterday and it was the first time in a long time that I have really looked at my demons face-to-face. I had to have an ARGUMENT with myself last night not to go to Krispy Kreme doughnuts and follow it up with a pizza. I have known for a long time that I am addicted to junk food, but I never realized it was this bad. Everything else I have ever really tried in my life I have been able to succeed. (Well, I never see a failure but more of a different path to get to where I need to be.)

I have read all the good and bad that I could find about this surgery, but it seems that a lot of what I am seeing this week are complications. Of course, it could be that is all that I am remembering because I am fearful. I think I am only minimally afraid of the surgery and maybe more afraid of the change that will come afterwards. The eating I think I can conquer with the help of the sleeve. The accusatory stares of others like I have done something wrong is what may be the hardest for me. (I am a bit of a people pleaser at this weight. When I was smaller I was way more kick-a**).

I am not sure what I need right now. Maybe a hug or a kind word or a kick in the pants. I'm sure whatever it is, you folks can help me through it.

Thanks so much for listening,

HDubSleevery

[Khy 16]

You will do fine. Many here made it through without complications. I am 2 weeks out and so far I have experienced nothing out of the ordinary. Yes the surgery did take the starch out of me. I do feel tired and my energy level has not returned to normal. However I do feel stronger everyday so I know it is coming back. I too had lots of pre-surgery jitters. Kind of felt like sitting at the top of the roller coaster hill waiting for the plunge... Excitement and fear all wrapped tight.

C.

[KellyL 173]

A lot of us go through this right before surgery, no matter how confident we are in our decision. I know I got so scared the wk before. It's completely natural. Everything went better for me than expected. You're gonna do great.

*hugs*

[Fat4now 7]

I have faith that you will do just fine. I can't speak from experience on the surgery but most people come out just fine. And as far as being a people pleaser---don't let your size change you. This is your decision and those same people will be looking at you in amazement later so let them look at you however they want right now.

[marymoon 18]

(((hugs)))

Your feelings and anxiety are completely normal. It's a huge change to your anatomy and phyche, but like many of us here, it's a required step to help you get off the crazy train of food addiction and obesity. I was actually very calm and sure of my decision until the plane was somewhere over Colorado. I clearly remember looking out at the Rockies wondering just what the crap I was doing flying to Mexico to let a surgeon I'd never met rip my stomach out. Once I landed in San Diego & headed to Mexicali I was fine. My surgery sister was a bit of a hot mess of nerves, tho, so don't feel like you're alone in the trepidation.

I had more food issues than I realized which slapped me inn the face the days immediately following surgery. The 20 days of liquids is a bit of a pain in the ass, but I'm just shy of being 4 months out and can eat whatever I want, just in smaller quantities. The end result of better health through losing weight is so worth it! I'm extremely happy with my sleeve and am thankful every single day that I had the opportunity to have it done. I finally feel free of the chains of food cravings and the guilt of binging when I couldn't control it.

[Forensikchic 528]

I am coming here because you folks are always the ones who can help me when I need it the most.

I am exactly one week away from my surgery date and I am scared, nervous, and anxious all at once. I have been great up until today. I started my pre-op diet yesterday and it was the first time in a long time that I have really looked at my demons face-to-face. I had to have an ARGUMENT with myself last night not to go to Krispy Kreme doughnuts and follow it up with a pizza. I have known for a long time that I am addicted to junk food, but I never realized it was this bad. Everything else I have ever really tried in my life I have been able to succeed. (Well, I never see a failure but more of a different path to get to where I need to be.)

I have read all the good and bad that I could find about this surgery, but it seems that a lot of what I am seeing this week are complications. Of course, it could be that is all that I am remembering because I am fearful. I think I am only minimally afraid of the surgery and maybe more afraid of the change that will come afterwards. The eating I think I can conquer with the help of the sleeve. The accusatory stares of others like I have done something wrong is what may be the hardest for me. (I am a bit of a people pleaser at this weight. When I was smaller I was way more kick-a**).

I am not sure what I need right now. Maybe a hug or a kind word or a kick in the pants. I'm sure whatever it is, you folks can help me through it.

Thanks so much for listening,

HDubSleevery

Hi. I am still in the hospital on my laptop. I just wanted to give you word of encouragement. I am doing great. I was so afraid and nervous I didnt really sleep for a week. When I got to my room, I had realy great nurses. I was not in any real pain. I asked if I could pee and then walk some. It felt good to walk even though it was soon after surgery. I walked a lot yesterday. I was given nausea meds in my IV and so I have not experienced any nausea so far. I did get serious acid reflux heartburn type pain last night. I lasted all night, I had to slow way down on my sipping ice Water because if increased the heartburn pain. It was more bothersome than painful though. I slept on and off. Its 10:41 today and they gave me some muscle relaxers and bloodthinners. I am on a morphine pump. I dont have to press the button very often though. I was surprised and happy that I have had a fairly smooth ride so far. I have had time to reflect on how wonderful this opportunity really is.

My advise to you is to keep your eye on the prize and just take it one day at a time. You will be happy you gave up caffeine during this liquid diet and got through the headaches. Mine lasted a couple days and it was over. Caffeine is not healthy anyway and I dont plan to go back to it. They liquid diet is a challenge but I just got through it one day at a time, sometimes hour by hour. Muscle Milk banana cream flavor was really good and I hate Protein shakes! We can all do this together~ We owe it to ourselves to finally have the healthy life we want. Feel free to email me or message me anytime during this journey. I am slightly ahead of you and I will answer all your questions to the best of my ability. We are all here for support and its great to know other people are in your shoes too! Hang in there!

[Nanu 60]

So happy to hear someone else is feeling like I am right now. I'm scheduled for Sept. 20 in Dallas. I,too, have been reading a lot and have been dwelling on the complications. I've decided to quit reading about the negative and focus on the positive. Forensikchic's post was very helpful. Thanks!!!

[Nanu 60]

When r u scheduled HDubSleevery?

[OnTheFenceMomma 0]

Sending virtual hugs!:girl_hug:

That's pretty much exactly how I feel! I'm one week away and it's stressing me. I can't focus on anything! And it's not the surgery itself, it's after ward when I have to focus, that's worrying me. :sad_smile: Will I get all my Vitamins in? Will I gag on Protein shakes? Will I be nauseated? Will I be hungry? OMG, my head is spinning!!!:bowl: Can you tell I like smillies?

I know I'll be on this board a lot this week!

[HDubSleevery 25]

When r u scheduled HDubSleevery?

I am scheduled for August 16th with Dr. Aceves. It is less than a week away!

[HDubSleevery 25]

Thank goodness I am not the only person going through this! I am trying to focus on my pre-op diet but it is super hard. Of course, this is a big reason why I am getting the sleeve in the first place. I need a physical limitation in order to make a mental change.

I have discovered that I am a binge eater. Well...not really discovered...more like proved to myself. I can go all day with my Protein Shakes and SF Hawaiian Punch. As soon as I get in the house I start to binge on everything I can possibly find. I eat until I am past the point of full and then I hate myself for it until it is time to go to bed.

I used to lie to myself and say "you didn't eat that much...it's just ONE meal". That one meal would often add up to 2000 calories! I am really hoping that once I get my sleeve, I will be able to finally conquer this. I even tried this week to think about "why are you eating this?" and I found it wasn't an emotional binge. I eat because it tastes great! I don't seem to have the "off" switch once I get started.

Sorry for the rambling. You all have been wonderful in helping me get through the anxiety. I am sure I will start to feel better once everything starts falling into place.

[wondering1 103]

I was just sleeved on Monday and today is my first day home. I'm tired and in more pain than most people but I still don't regret my decision. You will do great and we will all be here cheering you on! You CAN do this

[Forensikchic 528]

I'm home too now. In some discomfort but not horrible pain. Gas is moving some so no real problem there. I'm resting now in my own bed. I have pain meds if I need them. Good luck to yolk. Hope all goes well.

[HDubSleevery 25]

Debbie and ForensikChik...I'm glad to hear you made it home and are doing well. I'll be joining you next week so save a seat for me on the loser bench. I'm looking forward to burning that wagon that I keep falling off of!

[NJMOMof2 17]

Your feelings are NORMAL!

I was such a wreck the day of surgery, they had to drug me up in the prep room. My husband always says that he wished he had a crystal ball of me now (so happy) that day.

Helpful hints:

1. Visualize yourself doing things your weight prevented you from (if needed, make a list)

2. If you have an ipod or iphone, download a relaxation app or soothing music.

3. Make an affirmation. For example, "I am having surgery and will have an excellent recovery and be successful"

Hope these helps, I went to a therapist who specializes in people with food issues and she taught me these tips.

You will proabably have feelings of regret after surgery....this is NORMAL and keep saying this is all temporary.

I am 7 months out and life gets better EVERY DAY :D

Good Luck

NIna