No more Lap Bands in my future :(

[fee 0]

Penni......(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

I really feel for you at this time and i am truly sorry:cry

I know whatever option you chose is the best one for you and it all works out the way you want it to

[Alexandra 55]

Oh, Penni, my heart goes out to you. But as NewSho says, you're really in great shape! Your options are wide open, you have a great and supportive doctor, and you're smart and well-prepared. Whatever you decide, it's sure you'll know it's the right thing before you do it. Best of luck with your research and don't forget about keeping us posted! :hug:

[Penni60 45]

Ya know I slept really well last night for the first time in ages. LUNESTA rocks!! LOL!! I went to bed with a clear head and just left it in a higher powers hands to give me some sign. The only thing is I usually (like most of us) need a billboard to smack us in the face before we recognize the sign. LOL!!!

I have an appt in 6 weeks to go back to see Dr Billy. I don't have to make a decision at that point. I don't have to make one for awhile actually. I am gonna make some phone calls to my current insurance co and see what they will or won't cover. In the meantime, I am going to make a conscious effort to rededicate myself to eating healthier and getting some exercise. I already conquered the battle of the Water. I realized that if I don't get in 64 oz of water a day my ankles and hands swell up bigtime to twice the size. So the water is for keeping the swelling down instead of helping with weight loss. I got rid of all the junk in the house the other day.

John and I have talked (I have cried on his shoulders) about my options and what I need to do. He has made a committment to me to help my journey. He will no longer bring in any "contraband". He knows my weaknesses and will not buy them anymore. Even if I threaten him he won't succumb. :clap2:

We are both re-committing to losing 20lbs by Christmas. That is ONE lb a week. Being a Man he will lose more of course. Bastard!! LOLOL!!!! But we are doing it.

It is hard to continue this excitement when you realize it is a life long journey. You have to keep the "honeymoon phase" going somehow. My slap in the face came when I watched a couple of TLC programs the other night. The "750 lb man" and "half Ton man" programs were both eye openers. I watched knowing how bad it could get. It shocked me into just how lucky I am to weigh ONLY 270 lbs right now. And I am moderately healthy as well.

So I took my situation and put a positive spin on it instead of seeing it as negative. I told myself the following things:

1. I am beautiful on the inside

2. I have my health

3. I can walk without aid

4. I have beautiful children, grandchildren, family

5. I can do anything I set my mind to

6. I am intelligent

7. I love my facial features

8. I have a man that loves me

9. I am financially secure

10. I have a business that is flourishing

Once I found 10 positive things to write down I kept repeating them to myself. The more I said them the more the dark cloud of depression lifted. I have printed off these positive mantras and will tell them to myself every day. Notice NONE of them are food related.

Thank you guys for listening to my rants.

LOVE YOU ALL :kiss2:

[leatha_g 4]

So I took my situation and put a positive spin on it instead of seeing it as negative. I told myself the following things:

1. I am beautiful on the inside

Umm... You are beautiful on the OUTSIDE too!!! Change that affirmation to I AM BEAUTIFUL. period..

Hugs gf, I sit not too far from where you are sitting and I can't imagine having to face the decisions/concerns/questions you are currently facing. Whatever you come up with, God don't make no junk.. and you are and will always be beautiful.. inside and out.:hug:

[the best me 6]

So I took my situation and put a positive spin on it instead of seeing it as negative. I told myself the following things:

1. I am beautiful on the inside

Umm... You are beautiful on the OUTSIDE too!!! Change that affirmation to I AM BEAUTIFUL. period..

Hugs gf, I sit not too far from where you are sitting and I can't imagine having to face the decisions/concerns/questions you are currently facing. Whatever you come up with, God don't make no junk.. and you are and will always be beautiful.. inside and out.:hug:

I agree! (((hugs))) Penni. I know you will decide the right path in the right time for you. And you have all of us to cheer you on! Go Penni! Go Penni! Go, go...go, Penni! :clap2:

[Kathi 0]

Penni,

I just wanted to offer my support to you. You are facing an issue that we may all have to face in the future.

I know for me personally that if my band is removed, then I will do whatever it takes to have an alternate WLS performed at the time of removal. I have made a promise to myself that MY health is a priority to me. I will get to where I need to be no matter what it takes.

((hugs))

[NewSho 20]

Yay, Penni...

You're taking positive steps, no matter what you decide to do ultimately.

Your post made me think of one of my favourite Billy Joel songs, "Second Wind".

Read the lyrics and see what you think:

*******

"Second Wind" by Billy Joel

You're having a hard time and lately you don't feel so good

You're getting a bad reputation in your neighborhood

It's alright, it's alright

Sometimes that's what it takes

You're only human, you're allowed to make your share of mistakes

You better believe there will be times in your life

When you'll be feeling like a stumbling fool

So take it from me, you'll learn more from your accidents

Than anything that you could ever learn at school

Don't forget your second wind

Sooner or later you'll get your second wind

It's not always easy to be living in this world of pain

You're gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again

It's alright, it's alright

Though you feel your heart break

You're only human, you're gonna have to deal with heartache

Just like a boxer in a title fight

You got to walk in that ring all alone

You're not the only one who's made mistakes

But they're the only thing that you can truly call your own

Don't forget your second wind

Wait in that corner until that breeze blows in

You've been keeping to yourself these days

Cause you're thinking everything's gone wrong

Sometimes you just want to lay down and die

That emotion can be so strong

But hold on

Till that old second wind comes along

You probably don't want to hear advice from someone else

But I wouldn't be telling you if I hadn't been there myself

It's alright, it's alright

Sometimes that's all it takes

We're only human

We're supposed to make mistakes

But I survived all those long lonely days

When it seemed I did not have a friend

Cause all I needed was a little faith

So I could catch my Second Wind

*******

We're totally behind you 100%...:clap2:

[PinkMary 3]

Dear Penni,

i just read this thread and i would like to add my 2 cents for you.

1st have to say that i don' t know what could i do if i was in the position

to choose an other option in order to lose my weight except of the band.

because we choosed mainly the band cause was the op with the less risks

and the less changes in our body.

but is fact that band doesn't work for everyone, so you re not just an exception but one proof that band doesn't work for all.

well as hard as it is i tried to be on your position what i would do next..

i would have also 2 options, 1st RNY (any of the 3 styles of RNY) or Sleeve Gastrectomy.

My problem is also like yours, its not only the quality of the food but the quantity.. so i would prefer a restrictive kind of surgery like sleeve but then i would worry that doesn't excist a long term follow up in patients yet.. we don't really know if its really effective in years...so why not to choose an option that has been tested like RNY?

i thought a lot and is also the option that i would remove for ever the 80% of my stomach for ever, it makes me worry for the future..

so i would prefer something tested and with the less risks..like the mini RNY (proximal RNY).. i don't know but this is me, that means not you..

and the road to lose weight is actually lonesome..

you only know what your soul is really needs.. but me personally it kills me

to feel me overweight for all my life.. i can't stand to accept it..thats why

i did a bariatric surgery...

as about the money that they are such a huge amount i have to tell you a crazy idea, theres an option to come to do it in .. Greece.

in my country the national medical system is free for people that they work (they kept us monthly an amount of money from our salaries)

people with the national medical assurance they have the opportunity to

have a bariatric surgery completely free! (i payed only 3500 euro for my band cause i choosed a private hospital) but i know a very good surgeon

that works in Public Hospital and people was very suttisfied from him and they didn't pay anything for their surgery. I have a friend that she did the sleeve gastrectomy and she didnt pay anything also!

well i know it sounds crazy to come to other side of the planet to have a surgery alone away from your family but i want you to know that there is also this option.. me and my friend we can talk to him to accept a person

outside of the country (and the national medical system) because is emergency thing.

at the end i would like to add that what ever you will decide to do, even not to do anything but to try solo to fight your demons this board needs you and people here will try to support you..

(sorry for my poor english and the long post)

[Penni60 45]

NewSho: I read those lyrics of one of my favorite singer/songwriters and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you that uplifted me more. Yes I am finding my SECOND WIND. HUGS

PinkMary: That is a sweet response. And the offer to come to Greece for the surgery is something to consider. I am very happy with my surgeon in Ventura, CA but the cost is a REAL factor right now. I can't self-pay and unless Insurance covers the surgery then I won't be having one. SIGH!

Still lots to work out and I will certainly keep you all informed along my journey.

[sascijo 0]

Penni,

I have been gone a long time, and am just now finding time to come back a day here and there, so I don't know why you are losing your band, but I do not see where you should resign as a moderator, after all you did have a band and you do know a lot about it that can help others. You do have all this support and friends and I don't think anyone cares if you have a band or not as long as they have you :kiss :clap2: So, good luck to you in your choice. It seems to me after reading you top ten list, that the ONLY thing you DON'T have is a band...:speechles and you realize how much GOD loves you, so good luck girl... It is going to be ok. You are an intelligent lady that has to make a tough choice, but you will do it and I feel sure it will turn out just fine.

[Iluvharleys 15]

Penni - I know what a hard decision this is for you to make, but I know you will make the one that is right for you. Just take your time and don't rush into anything. You'll know in time which one you really want. Good Luck!

[Road Queen 0]

Penni, I haven't been online much so I didn't realize everything you went through. Good luck in your decision. You have been an inspiration for so many here. Just reading this post and your 10 positive things has inspired me to get off my a@@ and quit feeling sorry for me. Thanks again for everything. Celeste

[lookingout 0]

Wow. Penni, I admire your strength, it takes a brave person to really look at the options carefully and decide ultimately what is best for them. I appreciate you sharing your decision making process. What I think a lot of people fail to realize is that the band is something RELATIVELY NEW. All of us could be in your position at some point. I have heard wonderful things about Dr. Billy, but what is more wonderful is that you are taking it upon yourself to be educated about you and your health. This is a life changing decision and if it takes you longer than six weeks, that is okay. Most people take longer than that when they decide to marry or have kids, etc. I admire you! We stick behind you no matter what your decision! Thanks for sharing your most positive asset you have: YOUR HEART!

[fabfatgrl 10]

Hi Penni:

I'm waiting for a Band to VSG as well. (Need to wait until my youngest is weaned off of breastmilk.) I've been researching alternatives to my Band for a few years now, and the VSG is the one operation I feel comfortable with. The results seem to be as good as an RNY, without the whole intestinal rerouting bit. (According to LapSF guys research as well as Baltasar in Spain.) Seems to function a bit like a Band, only with no PBing... or food getting stuck. Then of course, there's the ghrelin advantage (part of your stomach that produces it is removed.... unlike with an RNY)... as well as the no blind stomach factor. All in all, it looks good.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Karla

[Sunta 5]

Hi Penni,

I just have to share this with you now because it's the right time. Before I got banded my husband and I were looking through all of the before and after pictures and when we clicked on yours, my husband exclaimed "Wow! She's GORGEOUS!" and to top that off, he actually asked me to go BACK to your picture when we got to the end!!! So I'll swallow my jealousy and say you are not the only one who loves your features!!! LOL!

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

--Becky