Desperate for support from my Husband to have VSG

[kbowlin74 1]

I know exactly how it feels to have everyone in your family totally against your decision to have this surgery. My husband had even made a comment that I would be doing this by myself with no help from him. Well now I am 2 weeks out from my surgery and the tone has changed. I did not argue with my husband or my family prior to surgery I simply listened to what they all had to say and let them know after each discussion that I loved them and I felt like this was right for me. I planned to do everything by myself so I prepared my meals after surgery and placed them in the freezer and made arrangements to have someone take me and pick me up from the hospital the day of surgery. About a week before surgery I started to see a change in attitude. My family was watching me obey the liquid diet to a T and realizing that this was not a miracle surgery. I was working hard up to surgery and not faulting any of them for their opinions. Now they are all on board and proud of me for working so hard and continuing to change my life on a daily basis. I think the fact that I was never argumentative and just silently determined and focused turned them around. My husband did take me to the hospital and even stayed with me while I was there to help. Since we have come home he has tempted me repeatedly to cheat with food I am not allowed to have but he has not said anything but positive things about the surgery and how I am doing. I say all this to let you know some of the biggest naysayers do become suporters with silent determination and prayer. You have to decide that you are doing this for yourself and stay determined. I will be praying for you and your husband.

[DisneyAddict 10]

That's so true Sen! OMG... think about it... how many people take pills or fluids or stuff themselves full of Water or whatever the case may be to feel fuller faster and stay satiated longer? Gimme a freakin break... that is ALL we are doing. Just a more permanent and proven solution to a problem that evolution bit us in the arse with.

Really.

Yep and not just human evolution but the evolution of food in the last century. Its full of so much crap now that it hardly resembles food and practically served out in a feedbag or trough. I find it interesting to watch old movies and pay attention to what they eat. 1 cookie after school & a glass of milk? *my* cookie Snacks? Between 5 & 10 pre-op.

I know lots of people trying to lose weight & really screwing themselves up with all the crazy things they're doing.

[HappyFace 5]

Well said.

Great advice! Thanks, I'm definitely going to try that route!

[HappyFace 5]

I know exactly how it feels to have everyone in your family totally against your decision to have this surgery. My husband had even made a comment that I would be doing this by myself with no help from him. Well now I am 2 weeks out from my surgery and the tone has changed. I did not argue with my husband or my family prior to surgery I simply listened to what they all had to say and let them know after each discussion that I loved them and I felt like this was right for me. I planned to do everything by myself so I prepared my meals after surgery and placed them in the freezer and made arrangements to have someone take me and pick me up from the hospital the day of surgery. About a week before surgery I started to see a change in attitude. My family was watching me obey the liquid diet to a T and realizing that this was not a miracle surgery. I was working hard up to surgery and not faulting any of them for their opinions. Now they are all on board and proud of me for working so hard and continuing to change my life on a daily basis. I think the fact that I was never argumentative and just silently determined and focused turned them around. My husband did take me to the hospital and even stayed with me while I was there to help. Since we have come home he has tempted me repeatedly to cheat with food I am not allowed to have but he has not said anything but positive things about the surgery and how I am doing. I say all this to let you know some of the biggest naysayers do become suporters with silent determination and prayer. You have to decide that you are doing this for yourself and stay determined. I will be praying for you and your husband.

I appreciate your kind words and prayers. The 'this is best for me & I'm gonna do it' attitude is exactly how I feel. Like you, I pray that on the day of surgery, it will be my honey there with me as well. You are so blessed & I'll be praying for you as well. Enjoy your wonderful journey!

[KMP85 11]

I am so sorry to hear that for you. I support you 100 percent! Good for you for ending this battle with obesity for once. People don't understand what is like unless you live it. Good Luck ! You will do great!

Hello! I'm so excited about the changes that await me in life after having the VSG. My only wish is that my husband would support me, even if he doesn't agree with bariatric surgery. My family & friends, even those that don't agree are still supportive. When I told him I was considering the procedure he got very upset. He said he didn't want me to die on the operating table. Understand that my husband doesn't even like to take an aspirin & he has been physically fit all his life-he used to play semi-pro basketball. When I bring it up in conversation, it immediately goes awry. My husband is dead set on me not getting this surgery because he feels that I haven't done all that I can to try to lose weight on my own. He thinks that I will be more proud of myself if I do it on my own. He's willing to change his eating habits, exercise with me & pray with me to achieve my goal; however, I want the surgery-period point blank. I told him that I would be doing it anyway, but I would love for him to be there to hold my hand before surgery. He said no. My heart is aching because I want to be a good wife & not cause chaos in my marriage, but I know the VSG is the answer to my prayers in ending this 35yr battle. Any suggestions?

[Escape_Pod 358]

I'm sorry, that must be so hard. I could tell my decision to have surgery worried my husband, and he wondered whether it was really a good choice, but I was fortunate in that he still supported me. I worred more than he did about how he'd do if something terrible happened and he was left alone.

Are there surgical seminars in your area? I went to several to educate myself, and a lot of people brought spouses with them. I think sometimes to hear it from a surgeon, to understand the very real medical risks of not having the surgery, and to hear the surgeon talk about how the success rate of maintaining weight loss by more "traditional" methods is in the 3 - 5% range can be enough to help the light dawn. My husband has seen me diet and regain so much weight over the course of our marriage, and he understands how devastating that has been to me emotionally, and I think that helped as well. If you can acknowledge his fears, but counter them with facts, maybe he'll come around. You'll both be so much happier if he can find it in his heart to support you.

[chelle622 0]

I totally understand your pain and I can admit that it has not been easy for me either. My husband had the same comment when I told him I had finally made up my mind and set a date. "Can we increase your life insurance policy?" was his first response. he then spent several minutes questioning why I can't do it alone and how this is going to affect US. After several tears mainly on my part I told him that it was my decision, it is my body and all I was asking him for was support. He went on to say that he could not be the support i needed.

I went so far as to find a ride from a friend since he was refusing to come to the hospital with me. As the days get closer to surgery he is beginning to show a bit of support. He is still not happy with my decision but it is MINE.

I will pray that he will come around. Hopefully things change for me as well once I am safely out of surgery.

Good luck !

[HappyFace 5]

I totally understand your pain and I can admit that it has not been easy for me either. My husband had the same comment when I told him I had finally made up my mind and set a date. "Can we increase your life insurance policy?" was his first response. he then spent several minutes questioning why I can't do it alone and how this is going to affect US. After several tears mainly on my part I told him that it was my decision, it is my body and all I was asking him for was support. He went on to say that he could not be the support i needed.

I went so far as to find a ride from a friend since he was refusing to come to the hospital with me. As the days get closer to surgery he is beginning to show a bit of support. He is still not happy with my decision but it is MINE.

I will pray that he will come around. Hopefully things change for me as well once I am safely out of surgery.

Good luck !

Yeah, it seems as though we're walking down the same road. You WILL make it out of surgery safely, as will I. As far as I'm concerned, God is in charge in the operating room, and the surgeons are the vessels he uses to see it through. Thanks for sharing your story with me. I'll be praying for us both!