Best and worst reactions to telling people you were banded?

[niche 0]

i haven't had a bad one either. although my mother still doesn't really understand the operation no matter how many times i explain it. i actually had a wonderful experience telling some cousins of mine about the band this weekend. i was at a family reunion this past weekend and i saw two cousins who are close to me in age. they are prob about 100 lbs over weight at this point and they have gained about 30 or 40 lbs since i saw them 2 years ago. when i saw them then i casually spoke about weightloss surgery and they were horrified that i would consider doing this. but once i saw them this weekend and my whole family was commenting on my weightloss, i knew i had to tell them even though i was afraid of a bad reaction like the last time. when i told them, they almost cried and said that they had been seriously thinking of WLS and that they appreciated me sharing this with them. they were both mostly considering the band and they were so happy to talk to me about it. so that has to be my BEST instance of telling someone.

[Kat817 19]

As far as how people took the news I was having the band, I didn't have any negativity. I do have one friend, we have been friends forever, and she is in general a negative person, the rest of us just go on, let her bah- humbug everything! I didn't tell her until after and as suspected, she knew it was dangerous, blah blah blah. Needless to say this gal would not weigh 120 pounds soaking wet, never has! Otherwise, everyone was supportive of it, going into the surgery. Since surgery my grouchy Aunt ask me "Are you ever going to lose any weight after spending all that money for surgery?" I told her nope, and went on!!! She on the other hand is bigger than I am...or was! And when she ask me I was already down 30 pounds, and wearing the next size down in clothes, but it wouldn't have mattered, she just wanted to grump!!! As a general rule, people are supportive, when they learn it is not bypass. You say the words, "it's reversible if I have any problems" and they all breath easier! My DH and kids, parents, brother, and inlaws were awesome. They still are, they comment positively on a regular basis.

Good Luck to All in this journey!

Kat

[IBLoser 0]

Reading through these reactions has just reassured me of why I don't want to share this with anyone. I am still in the research phase, but am seriously exploring this option. I told my DH, but told him that I don't want him to discuss it with anyone. If I make an educated decision to deal with my weight, I don't want to deal with everyone's $.02. My BMI is about 36, and I have about 80lbs to loose.

Has anyone else "lied" or withheld the fact they had surgery? I'm really struggling with this. I'm a very private person, and don't think I want to be a poster child for WLS. And I definitely don't think I could handle everyone giving opinions on my business.

Any advise???

Want2Lose - I had my surgery on 6/22 and was 36 BMI with about 75-80 lbs to lose. When I told my sister in law that I had it she said I was crazy because "I didn't have that much to lose". Yeah, she doesn't have the extra weight, HBP, swollen ankles, etc. Anyway, I've kept it close hold and told my boss at work that I was out due to some female issues and left it at that. I don't feel the need to exploit my WLS at this time unless it's beneficial to someone. For example, my DH and I had lunch with a friend of ours and when we asked about his wife (about 150 lbs overweight) he said she was going to have the LapBand surgery. I admitted to him that I had just had it and told him she could call me if she wanted to learn more. So, if my experience is helpful to someone, I'm all about sharing, but for those people who just want a look into my life, I keep silent. Just my personality, I guess!

[Irish Girl 3]

I haven't had any bad reactions. I am open with what I did and if people have a hard time accepting it, that is up to them. I didn't do this for them, I did it for myself. But I have told one person (my overly-opinionated grandmother) that I didn't ask her for her opinion and she hasn't said one thing about the band since then.

I do know someone who is very private and he just told everyone he did the South Beach Diet.

So you can tell people anything you want to tell them (or not tell them). Just stay true to yourself and what makes you feel the best.

Smiles.

[j.s. 0]

I also had no problems telling anybody and everybody what I have done. I have not had any negativity at all from anybody. I find it helps me to be able to say, hey Im feeling like _________ or like _______- and people will try and help me keep it in perspective and keep on the right track. For me it works having support at every turn.

[Devana 0]

I'm still feeling pretty private about all this. I told 3 people. My husband first said "that seems pretty desperate". I said yeah! He was totally supportive, though, once I explained it all. My son said "but I want you to still look like a mom". My friend Jane said "I'm coming with you to get it done too".

I know that I will feel a lot more comfortable sharing it with others as time goes on. I really didn't want to deal with any negativity, nor did I feel like explaining and justifying it to anyone.

Devana

[vlb11752 0]

I've told everyone, and for the most part have had great reactions. I saw an ad for the seminar on tv one night and then it was in the paper the next day. My best friend at work said I'll go with you to the seminar knowing I hated going places by myself and my husband had to work. My other very best friend took a day off work to sit with my husband during surgery.

The only negative I had was not said to me but to someone else. My cousin just could not believe that I would take that much money out of my retirement for something like that. She's very money oriented...and very skinny. She lost tons of weight back when she was a teenager. She's a year younger than me. She has never understood why I just didn't DO IT. I guess she figures I never really tried. I just laughed and told my DH she's just afraid I'll be cuter than she is...he just said...you already are!!!

[Banded14yr 2]

Try telling someone that you got the band in Mexico! I would say that 99% of the people you tell that to will think that you've lost your mind.

That's the main reason why I didn't tell a lot of people. My sisters, husband and a couple of co-workers know and that's it. They've all been very supportive, but I know that I wouldn't receive that same support from other co-workers and I know they would question my sanity.

[Yoda 0]

I'm with what IBLoser said. That is my philosophy on this. Not telling anyone unless it will help them and THEY inquire. It is only my parents, husband and 3 friends who know about it.

Interestingly enough, one of my friends (we live in the same place) also had it done and she is very open about it. She also feels that she has had no negative reactions. BUT of course, she hasn't had any "to her face" ....but she would be surprised to learn that there are several negative reactions and bad judgements about it (they just don't broadcast it to HER). I hear about them because they don't know I had it done as well. Naturally I'm quick to defend it and it shuts them up but that is one of the several reasons I don't say anything. I have enough going on in my life, I don't need to deal with anyone else's negativity or judgements or "secret" talk behind my back.

I"m also in a specific career field where this would be HIGHLY looked down on. ('nuff said!).

To each his own, for their own reasons; I respect the decision anyone makes on this issue....for them and their own personal reasons.

[HeatherGurl 0]

When someone asks me how I lost so much weight, I tell them that I am eating a lot less, cutting out sugar, and I joined a gym. No lies there. If someone were to actually come out and say "Did you have surgery?", I think that I am at the point now that I could tell them. I haven't specifically told anyone "No, I didn't have surgery." It really helps that my mom has lost about 100 lbs in the past 3 years, so everyone thinks I am doing what she did. No one in my small town even thinks about WLS.

[jojo41 0]

My husband and kids are the only people who know about my upcoming suregery....in 5 days!.....and it's going to stay that way!

[jojo41 0]

My husband and kids are the only people who know about my upcoming surgery....in 5 days :clap2: .....everyone else thinks I'm getting the cysts taken off my ovaries.

[j.s. 0]

Yoda - I am sure your right. I am sure people talk about me behind my back all the time but the thing is, If I dont know about it, how can that possibly hurt me. You cannot ever control what people will say about you to other people.... I figure if others care to discuss me and my life, if it is more interesting to them than their own.... all the power to em.... talk away.

[Chickie 15]

I think the worst I have had was from a girl I thought I knew really well. I had not seen her for a while, and had lost about 1/2 my weight by the time I saw her again.

She asked how I had lost it, I told her, and she said "Oh, I thought you did it the proper way" I could have slapped her.

But other than her, people have been really supportive.

[Yoda 0]

LOL....the "proper way"!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh....ignorance is bliss!!!! Congrats for not slappin' her silly!