An update on my journey

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So, I have known for weeks that my band has slipped and needs to come out. I have GREAT (read expensive) insurance that covers WLS and yet, the approval for the band removal is taking forever. They wanted the psych eval and nutrition assessment for the band removal, which seemed so strange. Luckily, I had those since I had started down the path of a revision to RNY previously... but I still don't have approval to get de-banded!

I am super happy with the doctor and support I have found. There is a lot of excitement because they have many successful patients and they have a comprehensive support program. They do a pretty high volume of sleeves and conversions from the band to sleeve, are a center of excellence, all the things you want. I also find the surgeon himself to be well recommended and a real pleasure to interact with.

Even with all that, I find that my nagging doubts about the sleeve procedure just won't go away. I feel like I am doing the same thing that I did 10+ years ago when I was banded... which was get pretty excited, see a lot of evidence that it works well in the short term and really going blind in terms of what the future holds. I think I could even get comfortable with taking that risk, since my weight has become such a HUGE obstacle for me - Healthwise and enjoyment of life wise - except for the feeling that I am going to need to stay on a low carb/low cal diet for the rest of my life even with the sleeve... which keeps leading me back to the circle of "why don't I just do that" without surgery. Of course, I have not been successful at keeping weight off long term by dieting. I really worry that I will be one of the "regainers" because although I so much want to make lifestyle changes, I want to not be an overeater, but I have not yet broken free of that so far. I am not a clasic binge eater, but I pretty consistently overeat and it definately has an emotional component. Eating has become sort of an emotional ballast for me - keeps life even and on course I guess. I have been to counseling, I have done alot of different things to try to resolve that - so it is hard for me to understand, really understand, how it will be different this time.

It seems like I will do really well, say with weight watchers or something, for a long time and then "boom" something breaks the pattern or disrupts me and I simply cannot get it back.

When I was active in the "bandster" support online groups, there was a real focus on basically writing every failure off to the "it's just a tool, you need to make lifestyle changes". I understand, couldn't agree more, except for some of us staying permanently on a diet has not worked well so far. I want it to work, I am very motivated to make it work but I have these visions of being 5+ years out, suffering from terrible reflux (this appears to be a big issue for long term and I don't fully understand why) and being told to follow Atkins or something to keep the weight off. That is a scenerio that makes me feel discouraged.

I have thought about the RNY, even considered the more dangerous DS - but I feel very very uncomfortable with both of those procedures as they are even more drastic/invasive then being sleeved.

Anyway, that is my vent of the day. This process of making the committment to the procedure, especially if you have been down the road of a procedure (band) that did not deliver what was promised, is a complicated one - at least for me.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

All of us who have been through the band and the revision understand what you are going through. I was really terrified about even having hope when I went in for the surgery. In my mind, the sleeve was just an insurance policy so I would not gain a ton more weight after the band was gone. The sleeve turned out to be everything the band promised, with none of the BS. But, I will also say that having the sleeve was much harder for me for the first couple of months. The restriction on what you can eat will really cause you to examine why your brain screams for food. You will cry because you want to ease your daily stress with a bowl of Cereal that your body will not tolerate. It is emotional, but those are good lessons you learn in the begginning.

I will say that I am not a strict low carb diet, but I do eat Protein first. I do that because I hardly eat anything at all (compared to before) and I am terrified that if I fill my body with crap, it will be dangerous. You will also find that things that are bad for you will make you feel terrible. I still can't really stomach anything very sweet. White bread makes me gag. Pasta and rice are so filling and uncomfortable, I don't even touch them. The big difference for me was that the only foods that were comfortable with the band were bad for me and it made me regain weight. So far, the opposite is true with the sleeve. The sleeve also seems to buy me some time in making a good choice. I may be craving a giant hunk of cake. But, the sleeve really takes the physical hunger away and gives me a chance to work through the mental process. Maybe I do have a bite of cake, but I also make sure to have a bite of dense Protein to fill up my tummy and then I can't get much of the cake in. It really works!!

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if any one of us will start re-gaining weight in a year or two. There are a lot of successes out there for us to look to. But, the common thread with them is that they took the changes to heart. They started working out. The still eat protein first. I don't want to be on a diet forever. I don't feel like I am on a diet right now, even though I am somewhat restricted. The good food makes me feel better and it is easier for me to stay on track. The physical hunger is gone so it is easier for me to make the right decisions.

None of us is perfect. And, believe me, every one of us revision folks has felt the failure and doubt with going through ANOTHER weight loss surgery. I, personally, am extremely happy I had it done. It was hard, but I think the tough journey has really helped me to make some permanent changes. Also, another major plus for me is that, even if I do regain the weight one day, I will not have a dangerous apparatus in my body causing pain anymore. It's worth it to take out the band, whatever you decide.

Good luck on your decision and journey---

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Insurance company called and they have approved the band removal. Finally.

Actually, when she first called she said I was approved for the sleeve. I think they have their wires crossed, because she then backtracked on that. I asked her if there were any obstacles to the sleeve approval and she didn't think so. We'll see.

I had the same problem with the band - not so healthy foods we the ones less likely to "hurt". Even now, with no restriction and a slipped band, I can eat unlimited quantity of junk, but I have to watch dense Proteins and raw veggies to ensure no problems.

I am sure glad that you are finding that the sleeve gives you more time to "think" rather then just react to the hunger. I need that too.

[1cindy2 0]

I cried as I read your response! You are hitting the heart of my fears of failure! I got the lap band 4 years ago. I lost some weight initially, but it wasn't super significant and it's all back. My doctor tells me that the sleeve will work much better. I'm wondering WHY. They are both restrictive procedures -- why will the sleeve work better? I'm moving ahead step by step with the psych assessment, the nutritionist, the pre-authorizations..... but in the back of my mind I'm wondering.... WILL THIS WORK? WILL I FAIL AGAIN?

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reflections! I hope to read more from band to sleeve folks!

[Tippy2us 11]

The sleeve works better because you can only eat so much because your stomach is so small. When I had the band I learned that certain foods went down easier, and I still had my whole stomach so I could eat way too much. Now I can only eat a little bit. I LOVE my sleeve and I LOVE having that band out!!

I cried as I read your response! You are hitting the heart of my fears of failure! I got the lap band 4 years ago. I lost some weight initially, but it wasn't super significant and it's all back. My doctor tells me that the sleeve will work much better. I'm wondering WHY. They are both restrictive procedures -- why will the sleeve work better? I'm moving ahead step by step with the psych assessment, the nutritionist, the pre-authorizations..... but in the back of my mind I'm wondering.... WILL THIS WORK? WILL I FAIL AGAIN?

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reflections! I hope to read more from band to sleeve folks!

[Glendaaus 20]

I am waiting to see when and where I will have my surgery for a revision to sleeve from lapband and will know this week.

I cannot WAIT! I feel like I have an alien inside me - I just want it gone.

Thanks to this thread it made me realize something very important about my lapband that I had missed all this time. I always still wanted a good quantity of food - and the way I could get it down was eating the most unhealthy things that seem to melt on the way down - things like cheese puffy things and milk shakes.

Initially, I lost alot of weight, but since a year out had still needed to diet and exercise - I had my surgery in 2003 - what a waste of time trying to keep this weight off. I have learnt some good habits and still exercise every single day - I am fit - but that hasn't stopped the type 2 diabetes creeping in and high BP - I don't like having to take all the medication I still have to with these problems and I have a 9 year old - I have to keep alive and going here.

Thankyou for making the penny drop - I felt that I was such a failure for allowing myself to "trick" the band - it is such a disease - I am looking forward to my VSG.

Glenda

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I feel like a split personality on this - some days i am so excited to get sleeved, other days i am sure that i just.can't.do. another WLS.

You all have raised great points though. When I was restricted, I didn't really feel satiated. I still wanted to eat, and felt something like hunger. People try to tell you it is 100% in your head. I agree that the "mind parti" is a big issue, but I also felt hungry, in the stomach.

Right now I am focused on getting the band removed, I think that the earlist I would get sleeved would be like November due to work committments and trouble getting time off.

[Glendaaus 20]

I don't really think anyone can tell you what is in your head. For me hunger takes shape in many forms - emotional, in my head, in my stomach - but for for the sheer process of eating ---- and the band is so unpredictable - some days I was nearly sick from hunger - some days I felt like the smallest amount of food would make me full - but not in a comfortable way.

I feel the I don't want to go through all the surgery myself - but I need something to help me. After reading for a few months - it seems the sleeve has more positives than negatives - and so many people seem to be loosing and keeping it off.

All you can do is try!

Glenda

[Rev Me Up! 75]

I feel like a split personality on this - some days i am so excited to get sleeved, other days i am sure that i just.can't.do. another WLS.

You all have raised great points though. When I was restricted, I didn't really feel satiated. I still wanted to eat, and felt something like hunger. People try to tell you it is 100% in your head. I agree that the "mind parti" is a big issue, but I also felt hungry, in the stomach.

Right now I am focused on getting the band removed, I think that the earlist I would get sleeved would be like November due to work committments and trouble getting time off.

No doubt, the surgery and recovery are tough and you have to mentally prepare for that. Up until the day I showed up for surgery I had anxiety about it - I was very emotional. I kept coming back to 2 things: 1) I wanted that piece of crap OUT OF MY BODY. 2) I didn't want to gain a lot of weight afterwards and the sleeve was my only option with a BMI of 31. That is what worked for me. This is a dificult decision and commitment, but it has a lot of benefit on the other side.

On another note, you may want to re-think your November date - the holidays will be TOUGH if they are right after surgery. You can't eat normal food for at least a month after surgery.

Good luck!

[kekerene 35]

I suffered too with all of the problems that the Lap Band brings with it. Throwing up EVERY meal that was not a liquid, reflux, wondering why I was not getting full after 2-3 bites then having those bites come up 5 minutes or sometimes an hour later, lost 60lbs then 4 years later gained it back, then found out the band slipped and had to be removed and that was why I gained the weight back. 5 years of misery. Finally I had it rremoved a month ago and had a revision to the sleeve. WOW, what a difference. Finally, something that actually does what they told me it would. I eat a couple bites and I am full. I am a month out and 22 lbs down and feel amazing. I finally feel like I have my life back