Tired of hearing you don't look that big to need surgery!

[sugarmamma7 2]

So all I have heard since the time I have decided to have this surgery is so mnay comments that are negative. I have heard "You look just fine" or "You don't look that big" Or why can't you try to loose the weight with diet and exercise. or "I knew someone's cousin's friend that died from weight loss surgery." I have even heard why don't you try hypnosis from my own parents! My husband is the only one who supports me on my decision because he lives with me and know what battles I fight everyday. I have gout, I hurt all the time. My back and knees hurt. I can't even find a bra that fits me because the band around my back is so huge. Why wouldn't these people support me if they knew it would make my life so much better? I can't even run without my belly slapping against my knees. I just don't understand. I want to live not to just be alive! Thanks for letting me vent. It is obvious that people's comments have taken a toll on me. Their negativity is definitly pulling me down and making me question my own decision for weight loss surgery. I have four shildren of my own and three step kids. One previous husband who has passed away mabye that is why some people are fearful of me dying and they don't want me to go through with the surgery, but if I don't I won't be here for the long run. My mom is just like me she has diabetes and is in pain with artritis and diabetes. I know I will go through with it, but I battle with the question of making the right decision because of these people putting these thoughts in my head. Has anyone else experinced this? How did you deal with people's comments and what did you say to them? Most of all thanks for letting me vent. I love the support I get on this site you guys are amazing thank you for your time :0) Also my pre opt apt is in the morning and I will find out what kind of pre opt diet I am going to be on. The docs office hasn't really told me yet. I guess I will find out tommorow. I am excited, but scared at the same time. Again thank you all in advance.

[SeattleSue 25]

sugarmamma7,

I hear you. I'm pretty sure some people don't engage their brains before they engage their mouth. Listen, your hubby and your kids are the closest and you need to be alive to go on...this is about life, not vanity. Take a deep breath and think again about why you decided to do this for you. Sometimes we just need to clear all the voices and get back to square one.

This is a safe place to vent. You got this...good luck at your appointment tomorrow. We'll see you around!

Susan

[sugarmamma7 2]

thanks susan I needed that

[KristeyK 3]

I feel your pain. Like SeattleSue said, people don't engage their brains before their mouth. They mean well enough, but don't realize what it does to a person. I'm lucky in that my sister broke this ground for me with our family and friends. They see how well she has done in three months, and I haven't been dealing with the same BS. The closest I've come to that is one of my RN instructors asking me a few times whether or not I was sure this is the right decision for me AT THIS TIME. Otherwise, everyone has been fully supportive.

Now...one thing I did tell my sister to tell everyone was this: "I live in my body ever single day and I know what I have fought through over the years. I know what is best for myself, my body, and my family. I have the support of my primary care doctor, my pain doctor, and most importantly, my husband. That's all I need." It worked!

Good luck and remember- even though the comments bug you, the people really do mean well. If you're as non-confrontational about that kind of thing as I am, shrug it off and continue on knowing you are making the best decision for YOU and YOUR FAMILY. You are doing something for YOURSELF, not everyone else.

[JimmyGotSLEEVED 270]

Honestly screw everyone with negative thoughts desperately trying talk you out of this surgery that CAN and WILL make you a better person overall mentality, physically and emotionally. I know exactly what you are going through. Ever since I decided to go for this surgery myself the only person I've been albe to talk to about was my older sister, because she herself had the lap-band procedure done. Everyone else keeps telling me, "no, don't do it, work out, all you have to do is this and that and you will be fine." In my head, I'm screaming my ass off, because they don't know what we go through being obese, morbidly obese, fat, big boned, chubby, whatever they choose to call it. You see they don't have the same issues that we have, they have NEVER experienced the same pain we have gone through, so they don't understand the emotional, physical, and mental suffering we try to fight everyday of our lives.

They all say it's easy to do this and that, so I told all them to each gain 100lbs and lie with it for a month and then come talk to me. Maybe then they will get a slight glimpse of our struggle.

At the end of the day Mamma thats YOUR body! Do what you want with it if you KNOW it will benefit you, period, because at the end of the day your worst critic will always be that person in the mirror.

So yeah, I support your decision! You are NOT alone!

[sugarmamma7 2]

Thanks guys for the wonderful support aned comments I knew I could count on you all to cheer me up! I am not going to let anyone else bring me down this is a second chance at life and I am going to take it a embrace it. You guys rock! Thank you!

[lsereno 2,525]

My BMI was fairly low (just over 40) and I heard that a lot from people. Here's what I said:

You're not big enough:

Thanks! I carry my weight well, but it is a health issue for me. I want to be healthy and have a long life.

Why don't you just diet and exercise?

I wish I could take the weight off another way, but that hasn't worked for me. WLS has the highest success rate and I want to be healthy.

Surgery is so risky!

Yes, WLS surgery has risks, but those risks are less than the risks that come from being overweight.

Best wishes on your journey!

Lynda

[Texasmom65 23]

Don't listen to any of them. You know what you want and need. And as long as you have your husband and kids behind you, that is all that matters. I think alot of people say things like that because they don't know all the information about WLS. So just ignore them.

Hugs to you.

[irene 0]

So all I have heard since the time I have decided to have this surgery is so mnay comments that are negative. I have heard "You look just fine" or "You don't look that big" Or why can't you try to loose the weight with diet and exercise. or "I knew someone's cousin's friend that died from weight loss surgery." I have even heard why don't you try hypnosis from my own parents! My husband is the only one who supports me on my decision because he lives with me and know what battles I fight everyday. I have gout, I hurt all the time. My back and knees hurt. I can't even find a bra that fits me because the band around my back is so huge. Why wouldn't these people support me if they knew it would make my life so much better? I can't even run without my belly slapping against my knees. I just don't understand. I want to live not to just be alive! Thanks for letting me vent. It is obvious that people's comments have taken a toll on me. Their negativity is definitly pulling me down and making me question my own decision for weight loss surgery. I have four shildren of my own and three step kids. One previous husband who has passed away mabye that is why some people are fearful of me dying and they don't want me to go through with the surgery, but if I don't I won't be here for the long run. My mom is just like me she has diabetes and is in pain with artritis and diabetes. I know I will go through with it, but I battle with the question of making the right decision because of these people putting these thoughts in my head. Has anyone else experinced this? How did you deal with people's comments and what did you say to them? Most of all thanks for letting me vent. I love the support I get on this site you guys are amazing thank you for your time :0) Also my pre opt apt is in the morning and I will find out what kind of pre opt diet I am going to be on. The docs office hasn't really told me yet. I guess I will find out tommorow. I am excited, but scared at the same time. Again thank you all in advance.

I hear that all the time too that I don't need surgery if I just learn to eat right and put a bigger effort into exercise I could do it without surgery. I let them talk. This is my life and my journey and if all there was to it was to eat right and exercise then I should be thin right? I;m diabetic too and you have to eat when you blood sugar drops down. It' s hard for me to exercise because of my breathing issues which will be made better by the surgery. I can maybe lose my diabetes and my sleep apnea (machine and all!), borderline high blood pressure and skin issues if I lose the weight. If they are my friend and they support me great, but if they choose not to support my decision that is okay with me too, they don't walk in my shoes and I'm sure I don't support every decision they make either. I just know it's right for me. Sounds to me like you know it is right for you too so try not to let no one get you down. You know what you live with everyday , they don't. I think for the both of us this will be the best decision we ever made. When is your surgery? Mine is aug. 3rd.

[Sarah E. S. 6]

You tell em! No joke, you deserve to live your live the way you want to live your life! I'm proud of you, and I totally 100% support you! <3

[sugarmamma7 2]

Thanks guys for all your wonderful comments. My surgery is July 26 and I only have to do a three day liquid diet no food at all lol Thats going to be tough but bring it on I can do this thanks to all of you support!

[Khy 16]

Ignore them. They have not walked in your shoes. Some people just really don't understand. I have had people tell me "Oh you don't want to do that. It never works. Everyone always gets fat again." That is one of the reasons I have decided not to tell very many people about what I am doing. YOu know this is the right decision for you. Go for it.

Khy

[lyndynojo 140]

I hear ya. Even the nurse that took me back to get me ready for surgery said you don't look like you are big enough for this surgery. I'm 5'7" and weighed 239. When I told her my weight she said well you don't look like it. Are you kiddin me, I'm 100 lbs overweight. Only I know how fat and unhealthy I felt at that weight.

[Marilynn 1]

Thanks guys for all your wonderful comments. My surgery is July 26 and I only have to do a three day liquid diet no food at all lol Thats going to be tough but bring it on I can do this thanks to all of you support!

Three days will be a breeze! I had to do 7 days full liquid and no food and I didn't have a problem. My biggest issue was that I really missed chewing. Sound strange, but when you are there you will know exactly what I mean. I got some sugar free gum to chomp away on when I felt like that. I had my surgery Monday and am doing great. Please don't let people question your decision to have the surgery. A lot of my friends said the same thing to me about it being too drastic, heck even the ICU nurse that I had post surgery said that to me when I was being released, my comeback to most people is that I probably weigh more than you think I do and that I have tried "Fat and Happy" for a while now and now I want to be Fit Happy and Healthy. Good luck Momma!

[MelissaG 0]

I totally understand what you're saying. This is such a personal thing, and nobody but you knows how you feel. I haven't told that many people because everyone is so negative. Only my husband really supports me. I don't have as much weight to lose as some, but I have other health issues like high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I didn't even go the seminar on WLS. I watched it on the web because I was afraid that people would look at me and think why are you here. The nurse at my surgeons office was awesome. She said that each person just has to get to that place where they say this is it, I have to do something. I have even had a hard time during my 6 month supervised dr. visits because if I lose too much weight now, I won't qualify for my surgery. I'm still waiting to get approval from my insurance company. I think you are doing exactly what is right for you, and we are all behind you. You only have a few more days to wait. I'm excited for you and for all of us on this journey. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!