Pity Party Busters

[Paul11011 372]

Last night I was feeling irrationally down because I had a goal in mind to be at by 6 months out and I did not quite get there. I say irrational because had anyone told me on the day of surgery where I would actually be at 6 months, I would have bet the farm against it. So as a way to get over myself I looked back in my weigh-in log book ( I weigh once a week and record it). It was looking back at the hard numbers that made me snap back to reality. Other "tools" I've used to get over such pity parties are periodically taken pictures, measurement logs and my "progress shirt" experiment. Good lord this is becoming a long post. So my request of y'all is: what things you've done to establish reference points along your journey? I strongly encourage all "newbies" to take a few of the suggestions that will be given and make them your own. The primary reason for this is that we will all reach points where it will be helpful to look back and realize just how far we've came.

[Foxbins 625]

We had surgery three days apart!

I kept a pair of "fat pants" that I put on every now and then. I am hoping that one day I will fit into just one leg, but for now they fall off me when I zip and button them. i weigh every day but only graph the change weekly, so I have a chart with a steady downward trend. I had my "pity party" early on when I realized I was not going to lose 75 lbs in three months. Now it looks like I'll be at goal by month 9 and that's fine with me.

[YellowRose 21]

"Expectations" are a hard thing to nail down. I mean if we DON"T meet our expectations we get depressed, if we MEET our expectations we are like "ho hum" - but if we EXCEED our expectations then we are thrilled.

I place "expectations" right there with "attainable goals" -- I HAVE NO CLUE! lol

We cannot compare ourselves to others because everyone is so different - different ages, different environments, different sizes, etc. I have really tried NOT to look at how much each person lost at each point, because I will either set myself up for disappointment or get my expectations sliced. I remember going to WW and each week it was a HUGE struggle to reach a weekly goal - I mean it was SO unpredictable - up one, down 2, up 1/4, down 1/8, etc etc etc.

SO -- NOW, with the sleeve - ONE FREAKIN' DAY AT A TIME. hahahahahaha

I LOVE the fact that you are keeping a journal log - that really really helps. I made an excel chart so I can visually see the progress. Downward progress is the most important.

Of course, I'm just starting - June 30th - and there is a nagging voice in the back of my head saying the same old song it always plays "It will work for everyone EXCEPT YOU-hooo!!" THEN I resort to MY favorite song - "It is a continual journey, and NOT a timed race with a finish line that has to be crossed!" Maybe I'm just different, (and I haven't hit my first stall! lol), but this is MY journey and it is totally unique to me. Who KNOWS where I'll end up - but my expectations are small & ever changing.

.... whew.... sorry about the philosophy rant. hahahaha --- carry on.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

THEN I resort to MY favorite song - "It is a continual journey, and NOT a timed race with a finish line that has to be crossed!" Maybe I'm just different, (and I haven't hit my first stall! lol), but this is MY journey and it is totally unique to me. Who KNOWS where I'll end up - but my expectations are small & ever changing.

This is a great philosophy to have! I've had this same WL Mantra since day one. I was previously banded for 2.5 years, and had great struggles with it. I guess that's why I can feel so humbled in my progress.

Comparing our rates to others I think is the worst mistake anyone can make. Most of us will NOT lose as much as top 1%. I'm certainly not up there. I however am very much OK wiht that. I'm SO HAPPY to be where I am!!! I can do more today than I honestly ever thought possible, and to me that is what matters most!

I kept some of my old big clothes. Largest size 28W. I also kept one 3X shirt. OMG it is humongous on me. I just can't believe it.... I have taken pictures a few months ago of me fitting in one pant leg of my 28's. Crazy huh?

Other things folks can do are keepting track of our weight on spreadsheets. I do and I love to go back and look at my trends. I'm doing good!! Also, keep a log of all your NSV's. You will be so thankful to have done this. I didn't and wish ever day that I had. Ah well...

Good luck to all!! Cherish your journey, it is YOUR OWN!!!

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I love to try on clothes that WERE too small and now fit me or are TOO BIG. I kept a belt that used to fit - I love putting it on now.

I keep an excel log and chart of my weight, and I keep a log in excel of my measurements. I measure myself on the first of each month and take a picture. I get lots of satisfaction and can chase away the "I'm not doing good enough!" blues by studying this information and the pictures.

I also envision things that weigh as much as I have lost. I have lost 73 pounds so far. That is almost 2 40 pound sacks of dog food. Pick up a 40 pound sack of dog foog (or put it in a backpack) and walk around with it for a while - see how much worse you feel walking around with it than you do walking around without it. I have a cleaning lady that weighs 93 pounds. We have a deal - when I reach a 93 pound loss, I am giving her a piggy back ride!

I have a freezer that has quite a bit of meat in it. Each package has the weight written on it. I piled enough packages of meet on my bar to equal the amount of weight I have lost. (before you wonder why I have this much meat on hand, we bought a side of beef). If you don't have this much on hand at home, go to the grocery store and stack up that much meat in your cart. Look at it, think about how much that it is - the space it takes up in the cart - how much better it is to walk around without the burden of it. Then, just put it back in the shelf (wouldn't it be great if it was that easy to get rid of the extra pounds on our bodies?)

I also try to realize I can physically do things now that I couldn't easily do before. Shaving my legs is SO MUCH easier. Tying my shoes! Bending over and touching the floor! I am taking Zumba! I DIDN"T NEED THE SEAT BELT EXTENDER THE LAST TIME I FLEW! I'm sure all of us have a list like this. These are great ways to recognize how far we have come.

[Paul11011 372]

Thanks for the outstanding replies people......keep 'em coming!

[M2G 1,836]

Well, I do feel like I'm stalled MORE often than I'm losing. Starting at 4 months post-op I quit the couple-pound-a-week losses, and started stalling out quite a bit. I'm not going to lie, it was harsh. I felt like "wow, I just had MAJOR life-changing surgery to lose weight and my net loss for the month of Feb. was 2lbs...WTF I follow all of my surgeon's rules, but I'm not gettin the payoff (i.e the drop on the scale)???" and then I would log on here and see people putting up these HUGE numbers in a super-short amount of time. And it can sort of mess with your mind, if you let it.

Now that I'm close to 9 months post-op I have some more perspective and I do constantly remind myself that this is MY journey. Not someone elses. So my favorite way to break up a pity party is to remember the times that I was stuck. And I remember feeling like "Is this it? Is this ALL that I'm going to lose EVER?" and then I will count the pounds that I have lost since my last stall and see how far I've come. It never fails to make me feel better. I remember being stuck at 229 for what felt like forever and now I'm stuck at 200. (Been waiting on Onderland for a long fricken time, but all good things come to those who wait, lol)

Also I like to remind myself of the bonus (upside) of being a slow loser...my clothes fit longer, my skin has more time to shrink (okay that could just be wishful thinking) and I've learned more about myself and what I can do to keep the losses coming. So it's all good.

Paul, have your pity party and then keep on movin' down that scale. You have done a tremendous job so far...you've lost an entire person! WOW! Don't forget to Celebrate along the way!

[GreenEyedMamma 5]

I had to travel for work outside the country just 6 weeks after my surgery and was on the road for three weeks. I had two pair of jeans with me from before surgery and one of them I was bound and determined to NEVER see again so on my last day of my trip I stuffed them in the garbage can at the hotel, stomped on them (with an attitude) and sang "nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, hey, goo-ood-bye" and I left my pants in the capital of Canada. I took the other pair home and now they are now hiding in the back of the closet where those clothes that I kept for "one day I'll get back into these" used to reside.

I also have a blog and I enjoy going back and reading my posts from when I first started my journey. It helps keep me in perspective. I also take periodical photos standing in the same spot and same position so I can compare my progress.