I can't win on this : (

[fern 195]

First off, yes I know that kids say the damnest things. I get that and I love that my 5 year old daughter is so innocent.

But.........

One of my "AHA" moments to have surgery was when my daughter thought I was going to break the toilet cause my butt was too big.

I've had some great nsvs with her. Like that now she can wrap her arms around me and clasp her hands together.

I'm about 4 1/2 months out and 150lbs ( 80 lbs lost), but strangely enough in the last couple weeks, I've started to feel self conscious again. I'm at a total loss of why this is.

This morning I was getting changed and my daughter came in and started laughing and rolling on the floor. I asked her what was so funny and she came up to me, lifted my shirt and jiggled my tummy ( which is pretty jiggly at the moment) and said my tummy was like a huge amount of jello!!! Can you say ouch???

I know she didn't mean to hurt me and we had a chat about saying things about people (our second chat from when we were at the hospital and the kids and I met a man who lost both his legs - thank god he was okay with hers questions!!!)

It just sucks cause I let it get under my skin and now I'm not sure how to feel better about it. Any insite would be great. Thanks

[former_vbg 198]

You already know your daughter is not old enough to realize what she said is hurtful to you, especially at this stage of your journey. I remember when i was about 10 years old and said to a cousin who was very pregnant how fat she was. Another family member did talk to me about saying stuff like that and of course at that age I should have known but at the time it just flew out of my mouth without thought. I remember it to this day in shame. Your daughter won't likely remember that moment- but just do your best to think about how you are improving your health so you will be there for her as she grows up. Even more so, that you will be able to enjoy those events WITH her and not just a bystander.

From the looks of your ticker and your post you are doing FABULOUS! Just keep moving forward and do your best to focus on what you know is right for you.

First off, yes I know that kids say the damnest things. I get that and I love that my 5 year old daughter is so innocent.

But.........

One of my "AHA" moments to have surgery was when my daughter thought I was going to break the toilet cause my butt was too big.

I've had some great nsvs with her. Like that now she can wrap her arms around me and clasp her hands together.

I'm about 4 1/2 months out and 150lbs ( 80 lbs lost), but strangely enough in the last couple weeks, I've started to feel self conscious again. I'm at a total loss of why this is.

This morning I was getting changed and my daughter came in and started laughing and rolling on the floor. I asked her what was so funny and she came up to me, lifted my shirt and jiggled my tummy ( which is pretty jiggly at the moment) and said my tummy was like a huge amount of jello!!! Can you say ouch???

I know she didn't mean to hurt me and we had a chat about saying things about people (our second chat from when we were at the hospital and the kids and I met a man who lost both his legs - thank god he was okay with hers questions!!!)

It just sucks cause I let it get under my skin and now I'm not sure how to feel better about it. Any insite would be great. Thanks

[KabinKitty 11]

Congratulations on your weight loss, you should be proud.

I assume your question is regarding how to handle your daughter's remarks. My children were never that blunt with their comments. I guess I would have had "the talk" with them if they did make inappropriate comments. If that did not stop them from being so rude, I would have had more severe consequences for their actions. I think 5 years old is old enough to understand that making rude comments hurts peoples feelings. The comments about breaking the toilet tells me that she is a very bright child. The comment about the stomach could be considered funny, cause it's so true about most of us who are losing inches.

Just my opinion...good luck!

[KellyL 173]

You have done so well, congrats on your success!!! It really is hard to deal with kids and feelings about what they say. Despite it being innocent, things like that do affect us. I know when i reach goal, i will still be self conscious about my tummy and skin. I hope i can have a Tummy Tuck, but doubt that I will have the extra $.

[~winecountrygirl~ 3]

Good thing they are so cute, right?

[Lakelady 2]

My six year old dd saw me getting in the shower the other day. "Mommy I like you better with clothes on." I thought it was hilarious. And thankfully her father's opinion is polar opposite.

[fern 195]

Thanks everyone! I think I just got into a funk. I did have a big talk with her then decided to go do something fun and went to the amusement park where we went on all the rides I could never have gone on last year.

And winecountry- dam rights thank god they are cute!!! My daughter is waaayyyy to smart for her age. She gets herself into quite the trouble sometimes : )

[PhatGurl80 26]

I feel your pain, I just try to laugh along. My 7 year old step son likes to call me his "pillow" lol. But in a few months I know it will be different.

[MINI-Me 196]

I also know your pain. I am down to a size 4/6, but my 9-year old son makes comments every time he sees my stomach. He's like "Ew ... cover your tummy, it looks gross" or "What's wrong with your stomach? Is it still fat?" We have had "the talk" and he restrains himself more these days (and I hide my stomach!) but I can see it in his eyes.

No - there is no more fat there to lose. Yes, I need a Tummy Tuck. But, since I don't have the money right now, I'll just have to be content to look awesome in my clothes! (And try not to look at my jeans when I sit down - that pooch drives me nuts. I just remind myself that it is skin, not fat. Skirts hide it well! )

Hang in there - focus on all the positives. I'm sure you look killer!

[janinemaire 7]

First off your doing great with your loss and you should be proud of yourself. But kids will say what evers on their mind, especially to their mom's. Just today my 14 year old son who has been my biggest supporter was playing with a soft mushy ball then he started poking my hips and said my hips felt the same as the ball, and he continued to compair. Honestly I don't mind being mushy right now because last year I felt like a big stuffed sausage.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

THis is a tough one. My daughter says the strangest things :-)

The bottom line is that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws when they are naked, not just fat people or WLS patients. My mom's stomach is a bit of a mess, but that is from being pregnant 30 years ago. She is not fat, she's a mom. My stomach is a mess too because I'm a mom and I have lost a lot of weight. Everyone has flaws.

Unfortunately, kids just blurt out whatever they are thinking. You are doing so well - dont let that get you down. Give your daughter the feedback and then let it go. I have done the same with my little girl and I can see in her eyes when she wants to say something about my weight or how I look and she is wondering how to say it so I won't get mad at her. We just have to let it go.

You are doing fabulously well!!!!

[fern 195]

Thanks everyone! You guys always make me see things the way I need to see them. My daughter and I had a talk and all is well now ; )

[wannasleeve 10]

Let me say this I had the lap band in 2002 to 2004 and it slipped twice so I had it removed in 2006. I was already used to running, exercising daily and eating healthy so I was able to maintain my 80lbs lost. Once I had got down to that smaller size I was so self conscious of my belly because my skin didn't tighten right back up.

Then in 2007 I became pg and delivered a beautiful healthy boy in 01/25/08. Long story short I gained the 80lbs back and he is 3 now and I haven't lost any of it. I am over here waiting for my surgery date 09/02 and thinking the next time I get that small I am going to enjoy it and not worry about what any one thinks and feel good about it.

I didn't get to enjoy it then because I was always worrying this time I am just going to LIVE!!!!! AND IF I have a small roll I will be happy with that instead of this tire I am carrying around.

ENJOY LIFE NOW!

Thanks everyone! You guys always make me see things the way I need to see them. My daughter and I had a talk and all is well now ; )

[CT Fats 82]

I guess being fat for so long, I just find the kids comments funny. One thing about most big people is they learn not to take things to seriously. My son once told me I couldnt sit in the back seat with him because I would break the car! I had to have a big laugh. I just make a mental note of this stuff so it will be all the more sweet when I lose it all and kick his butt in some basketball when he is older.