oh no...!!! you didn't......!!!!!

[Raine 170]

I think the perfect example is in that move "Hall Pass". There is a scene where the guys are looking at a "hot" girl and some dude tells them look closer she is not really hot. She surrounds herself with people that are less (for lack of a better word) than she is but if you look at her by herself she is definately not hot. My bff of 25 years was always the "hot" one, tall thin blonde and blue eyes. I was the short fat girl but had a pretty face. The guys always liked her and she always got the attention. Her comment to me when I told her where I was weight wise was "you weigh less than me now, we can't have that!" Maybe I took it too personally but it showed me a little of where she saw me. I'll know more of how she really feels when I see her next spring. See how your friend reacts to you after you are healthy and strong.

[sungbyrd 1]

She is going to be one of your biggest haters.

[LisaM 3]

Yes, you need to not take it personally. She's the one with the problem. I really think she is doing this because she is worried. You're going to lose the weight and she's going to be left as the fat friend. I had my psych appointment yesterday and the lady I met with said that she hates it that people label this the "easy way out" because it is NOT true. It's a huge lifestyle change. You can fail on this too. In fact 1/3 do.

Just hang in there. If she doesn't come around, she's really not a friend to you. I support my friends even if I don't like the choices they make.

[LisaM 3]

sorry for the double post.

[GA Girl Best in the World 4]

thanks everyone for chiming in ... LisaM great minds must think a like because that exactly the way i feel... I support my friends even if I don't like the choices they make as well... only time will tell if the new on board attitude will hold up... she on board for now or at least not saying negative stuff... i'm praying for her... hoping that she also ends her life long battle with weight....

this was a very hard choice for me to make i've been wanting this for over 2 years...i'm terrified of surgery... plus before i got the sleeve hubby and i want to have another baby ...as you can imagine she had a problem with that too. i'm so very happy with my decision..my baby is 10 months old as of yesterday and he's handsome and sweet just like his father and brother ( age4)..

baby birthing behind me ...now i'm ready to focus... on being healthier and happier ... and enjoy my family and FRIENDS ...

[myezzence 4]

Have you ever heard, misery loves company...well thats what is going on. I'm a christian woman who use to be very athletic, but due to a knee injury and weight gain..I'm unable to lose. I firmly believe God wants the best for us. Our bodies are a temple in which we need to keep in good condition. She is taking the word out of context and using it for her own reasoning. If it isnt for her so be it,,but don't make you feel bad. Do you!!! A real friend would support you not be judgemental. I'm having my surgery on July 12, and its about me not anyone else. Get your life...health back...l will keep you in prayer.

Chanel

[Redheadedone 3]

Hello my fellow Georgian :-) I believe we crossed paths on another thread and I will be praying for you. I haven't even read the responses to your posts I was just so turned off by what your friend said. Many years ago I found a quote that essentially said never dim your light because others refuse to allow theirs to shine. I could be comletely off the mark but sometimes when we try to grow, eventhough others may be happy for us I think sometimes it causes people to feel condemned that they themselves are not doing the same thing and rather than be motivated they judge. An abomination, as your friend calls it, would be to abuse children or animals, to cheat on your spouse or to be a mean, hurtful person. It's not like your having this surgery so you can go work a poll or turn tricks. Now, if you do that. . . . .no judgement. . . .just sayin'

I have been very open with my plans and will be happy to talk to people who may potentially be interested in having the surgery after they see what I've experienced. I have also presented it in such a way as to let people know that I am happy and at peace with my decision and while I do appreciate any and all concern I am not asking for permission, just getting the info out so people don't think I disappeared when I go to Mexico in a few weeks. If you have prayed about this and have peace and your husband is on board then get your sugery and keep it movin'! I hope we can stay in touch and keep each other lifted up!

Wendy

[M2G 1,836]

I think majority of us end up adopting this persona. When someone makes such a drastic change, many relationships will suffer because of it. Whether it be parent/child/spouse/other/friends. It would be nearly impossible to go scott free without some sort of metamorphosis with the self and with others. Make no mistake this will probably be the biggest change any of us will ever make in our lives.

At first it will hurt when friends (usually the overweight ones, or the insecure ones that liked us because we were non threatening) toss us to the curb because we have decided to take the bull by the horns and get right with our bodies. However, that is thier problem, no ours. Once we embark on this journey our ONLY CONCERN should be us and how we will finish out. Anything more and it's just not fitting in the cup.

So with that, they can either join in the journey, or move on.

Also, no this surgery is NOT an abomination. It is a gift that is saving thousands of lives every single day. God bless and I wish you well on your surgery!

Once again Irene, powerful words!!! You said it so well.

I hope this friend truly means it when she says losing the friendship is not worth her opinions of what you are doing in your life. This is a time for YOU to put YOURSELF first, and everything else will have to get figured out later. Best of luck to you!

[GA Girl Best in the World 4]

REDHEAD ... THANKS FOR MAKING ME Giggle!!!!. THIS PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT ... NO POLES OR TRICK IN MY FUTURE ... SHE SEEMS AT THIS POINT TO BE ON BORED, VERY SUPPORTIVE AT THIS POINT MY COUPLE DAYS OF COOLING OFF AND NOT ANSWERING HER CALLS DID THE TRICK ... SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE THE FRIENDSHIP... SHE HAS EVEN BOUGHT ME SOME Protein AS IT WAS ON SALE... FOR NOW SHE'S ON BOARD... WE WILL SEE AFTER I START TO LOSE WEIGHT!!! love her to piece and praying that she finds her own break through as she is very lonely ... and i thinks losing weight will give her more confidence to get back and start dating again.... thanks wendy for lifting me up in prayer and i'll be doing the same for you ... thanks so much... DENISE

Hello my fellow Georgian :-) I believe we crossed paths on another thread and I will be praying for you. I haven't even read the responses to your posts I was just so turned off by what your friend said. Many years ago I found a quote that essentially said never dim your light because others refuse to allow theirs to shine. I could be comletely off the mark but sometimes when we try to grow, eventhough others may be happy for us I think sometimes it causes people to feel condemned that they themselves are not doing the same thing and rather than be motivated they judge. An abomination, as your friend calls it, would be to abuse children or animals, to cheat on your spouse or to be a mean, hurtful person. It's not like your having this surgery so you can go work a poll or turn tricks. Now, if you do that. . . . .no judgement. . . .just sayin'

I have been very open with my plans and will be happy to talk to people who may potentially be interested in having the surgery after they see what I've experienced. I have also presented it in such a way as to let people know that I am happy and at peace with my decision and while I do appreciate any and all concern I am not asking for permission, just getting the info out so people don't think I disappeared when I go to Mexico in a few weeks. If you have prayed about this and have peace and your husband is on board then get your sugery and keep it movin'! I hope we can stay in touch and keep each other lifted up!

Wendy