Does anyone NOT know their weight?

[Karelia 5]

Thanks, Disney... I suspect it's not dissimilar in some ways to my post-gallbladder recovery. I was able to eat anything I ate before. The only difference I have noticed is that I need to eat more frequently. If I go hours in between meals, my stomach literally hurts. So I try to eat smaller amounts more frequently.

I am also sensitive to a lot of artificial sweeteners. I can taste sucralose even when I buy something I didn't know had it, so I avoid it like the plague. I can tolerate aspartame, but not in things like pudding or yogurt. I don't drink diet soda at all, so that's not an issue for me. In fact, I avoid soda in general. I used to drink Crystal Light, but after the gallbladder surgery, it tasted weird. I have no idea why, but I can't drink it anymore. So I mainly drink Water, hot tea (often herbal) and once in a while grape juice.

<div><br></div><div> This tool, the sleeve, does not necessarily require a low carb diet at, all. I have not been doing low carb. I eat full sugar foods and drinks, I eat crackers (sometimes all I can tolerate, too) and I eat toast (soft bread does not do well for me), I eat tortilla chips and yes, I have even had a rice crispy treat or two. I am not trying to be non-compliant, I just can't tolerate artificial sweeteners and so I have drinks that are sweetened with sugar, like gatorade, lemonade and tea. I can only eat about a half a piece of toast with my bacon and eggs, but that fills me up and makes me feel satisfied. I eat crackers with my Soups and with cheese, etc. I have lost 55 pounds since the day of surgery (65 since my week long pre-op diet) eating this way. And I am ashamed to say I have not exercised once. So, you see, just because some have much success with low carb, that does not mean it is the only way to lose weight with the sleeve. I would never, EVER suggest to someone to eat like I do, but it's what works for ME. Believe me I tried and tried to drink those SF Protein shakes and crystal light, etc. Just could NOT do it. I can eat anything I want (just not a LOT of it..lol) and am still losing weight steadily. I may not be the fastest loser, but it is good enough for me. 55 pounds in 3.5 months is not too shabby. Anyway, just thought I would share my experience so far.

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[Karelia 5]

Thanks for sharing your story. I don't feel like I am killing myself with food. I make mostly healthy choices, but don't beat myself up over the ones that aren't as healthy. I eat a more balanced diet now than I ever did when I was actually dieting.

I do feel like it would be nice to not worry about fitting in chairs. I accept I have limitations, but I don't love having them. Sweating isn't really an issue for me, since I live in a low-humidity climate, and I have Raynaud's Syndrome. I'm far more likely to be cold than hot these days. But obviously, there are things that are frustrating, impossible or hard at my weight. I wouldn't be posting here otherwise. Doesn't mean I don't accept myself or love myself as is.

I also don't imagine I'd ever be "hot" or "sexy" in the popular sense of those words. Several people I know who had WLS aged rapidly afterwards. One woman I know had gastric bypass and in 2 years lost 200 pounds, but she aged so much people started to ask her if she was 50. She was 33... and she confessed to me she regretted the decision because she felt she looked even worse. But then, she did it because she wanted to be sexier for her husband, and that's not the best reason to make such a drastic choice. I also know excess skin can be a problem - sometimes even a medical one (infections and such).

I truly have no interest in the scale. It's not about not liking the number... well, not exactly. With my eating disorder history, a scale is a dangerous thing. It becomes a definition of self, and I never want that again. Furthermore, I can get obsessive compulsive, and I'd worry that I'd go from one extreme to another if I got caught up in the numbers game. Finally, because of the PCOS and the thyroid issues, I would probably lose weight much more slowly than a lot of you who have this surgery. I see all the tickers and weight loss progress charts, and I *know* I'd get caught up in comparisons, and forget that I'm me. My body will do what it wants, to an extent... and I can't control those issues.

BTW, my thyroid issue is possibly the biggest reason I'd not have done the other types of surgery that have malabsorption issues. If my body can't properly absorb the artificial thyroid hormone I have to take, all hell could break loose. It could even kill me, if it was bad enough. I'm already on a crazy high dosage because of how badly my body attacks the hormone that my thyroid does manage to produce... I can't imagine what they'd have to put me on the make up for absorption loss!

I too went to therapy for complusive overeating, and you should be applauded for not gaining weight. But 200 pounds overweight is literally killing you. I was told at 242 that my life expectancy was 65!!! WAY too young for me.

FOR ME facing the scale was a wake up call to how unhealthy I was and that I will killing myself slowly with food.< /p>

Having WLS is a personal decision, but one that literally saved my life and I hate to tell you this, but I loved myself at 242 and now I REALLY LOVE MYSELF! I lost 80 pounds and I have energy, perfect blood pressure, can travel and fit into chairs easily. You can have all the self love in the world but not fitting into seats and sweating at the slightest change in temperature is downright uncomfortable.

Good Luck no matter what you do.

BTW---I love getting on the scale now!! Seeing 164 is a freaking dream!

[meggiep 57]

Eleven years ago I stopped weighing, with the help of my therapist. I had been delaying health care because of my fear of weighing and it was amazing when my therapist told me "you don't have to weigh- you are the client and you can decline". It was so wonderful! It set me free- I stopped the cycle of dieting, the fear, the pain.

However, I was also able to exercise at the time and activity has always been the key to fitness for me. When I ended up with back surgery followed by three falls, fobromyalgia and became a near invalid I started to gain weight, though I did not really know how much. I met and married my soul mate during this time and he would love me no matter what- he adores me and found me sexy at my highest weight.

My pain management doctor kept referring to my weight as being an issue with my fibro and my pain but I didn't let that penetrate or deter me. I honestly did not realize how heavy I had gotten, and I did not let the large sizes I was wearing affect my reality.But my life was becoming a smaller and smaller circle due to pain and I started thinking that I needed to lose some weight- not because I cared what the world thought of me- but for my health. I am too young to already live like an old person and I wanted my life back. When my doctor suggested WLS I thought she was on crack- because I was still in denial about my weight. ON a crazy impulse one day while she was out of the room I jumped on her scale. I think all the blood drained from my face- since my surgery, since the last time I weighed ten years before, I had gained 120 pounds.

I was shocked to my senses because accepting as my darling husband is, as much peace as I may have made with it- that was simply not going to guarantee me a long life. And in my case- not weighing had not served me in the way I had hoped because of the loss of activity.

I did the research and figured out the sleeve was ideal for me- the reasons have been discussed here a lot . I did the pre-op hurdles as quickly as I could manage and was sleeved on May 9th. From my 2 week pre-op on I have lost 43 pounds- and more importantly I am starting to feel good in my body again- alive, energetic- like the old Meggie with a sparkle and with my prana back.

I have had ONE triggered fibro attack since my surgery. My whole body aches so much less I am amazed. My knees are much much better. The one area of great pain is still my nerve pain in my back- that is something I may have my whole life but I can move again- I am walking an hour a day and doing Water aerobics too.

One thing you may have to confront is that you will ultimately suffer health wise at your weight- I have had to face that reality as fibro is musculoskeletal and it is really exacerbated by weight. That alone should motivate you to help yourself!

Only you know what is right for you. I encourage you to consider doing this, for your health.

Meanwhile- have you tried Water aerobics? I have been doing it for two years and it is wonderful! NO PAIN IN THE WATER! No pressure on your aching body- and a kick butt workout to boot.

Good luck to you.

[MegInNOLA 531]

Hi Karelia,

I eat what sounds tolerable to me... I do try to get Protein in, but I have a very picky and very small sleeve, and some days, a cracker is my best friend; I might try some Peanut Butter or cream cheese on there, but some days, I just eat the cracker. And I don't worry about it--I may lose more slowly than others, but I have to do what's right for my body, and nobody else is in here with me--I make the decisions for me. Dairy and Peanut Butter are much more frequent on my plate than meat or eggs, because I tolerate them more easily (and I used to LOVE meat and eggs--it's not because I don't like them!). So there is leeway in the post-surgical period for doing what feels right for your body.

Part of the reason I had this procedure was to be able to stop obsessing about my weight and my diet. I don't have a clue how many calories I'm eating or how much of whatever I'm eating until I sit down and make a list (which I don't do often). I feel good. I eat quality food, not junk. I know that others may feel I'm being way too casual about it, but I'm just not interested in obsessing about what I'm putting in my mouth. The sleeve limits my portions substantially, and I cannot overeat without gross consequences, so for my mindset, it's a great tool that is allowing me to eat what feels right, not overeat, and lose weight. I have found my energy levels do vary substantially post surgery, but drinking a cup of coffee a day has helped (not that it's a good solution for everyone, but it definitely helps me feel better). Again, a lot of folks are much more strict with themselves, which is great if that is working for them. I think everyone has to come to a sane solution for their own issues.

I was also prediabetic with a family history of that plus heart disease. I'm 48 now. I had high normal blood sugar. But at more than 100 pounds overweight, how long was I going to be able to be disease free? Post surgery, problem solved. Blood pressure edging high, solved. I didn't want to have the surgery; it took me a LONG time to decide that it was the best option available to me. Take your time. Research. Read this forum. If you'd like someone to talk to in more depth, please feel free to PM me at any time. I've never had an eating disorder, and I'm not as familiar with intuitive eating, but I've got good ears and a good brain and would be happy to serve as a sounding board.

Meg

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I read a book on intuitive eating and tried as much as possible to follow that for the 5 years before I had sleeve surgery 4 months ago. I basically maintained my weight for that time period except for the 4 months prior to starting the pre surgery diet - when I lost about 10-15 pounds (working at it). It took me a full year to get qualified / approved for the surgery due to job and insurance changes. What finally led me to work to get approved for the surgery was my probablility of dying young and soon. I'm 54 and my dad dropped dead of a massive heart attack at my age. I was walking too closely in his footsteps - I don't want to die from weight related issues before my time. I thought I was going to have a heart attack last September when I was walking/hiking up a hill. Scared me right into getting serious about living healthier to live longer.

To me it wasn't loving myself fat or loving myself thin - it was wanting to delay that inevetible end we all face. I have a family (husband, son, daughter) I love dearly and two young granddaughers I want to see grow up. Anything I need to do to increase my odds of doing that, I will do. Facing the scale, changing how I eat, saying goodbye to some favorite food or drink - not a hardship compared to not living long enough to enjoy more time with my family. The satisfaction I thought I got from how I related to food previously pales in comparison with spending quality time with those I love.

Weight loss surgery is an incredibly lucrative thing for surgeons now. I think you could find a qualified surgeon willing to work with you on your terms.

But this is something to need to want really badly, and commit yourself to its success. If you aren't willing to do that - I think it would be a mistake to have the surgery.

Good luck to you. I will be pulling for your success - whichever path you choose.

[meggiep 57]

"The fact that my weight has stabilized clearly demonstrates that I'm not eating the way I once did. Otherwise, I'd have continued to gain weight rapidly. I didn't."

My nutritioinist and I were talking about this the other day. You are not gaining weight because you are eating the amount that sustains your weight. She mentioned that that is what happens- you will gain gain gain until the amount you are eating is the amount that sustains that weight.

She actually mentioned it when I was asking her about the theory that when you are in starvation mode you should eat more for a day or two to shock your system. She said that the amount I am eating (600-800 calories) will cause me to lose weight and if I was to continue- Ii would lose until the weight that THAT amount sustains- though of course I would not do that as I would be too thin.

The reason I mention this, is that you are eating a great deal if you are maintaining 200 extra pounds, even taking in to account your medical issues. The tool you would have with the sleeve would change that a lot- and without hunger.

I love my sleeve- it is everything I hoped for and more. However, I will never go years without weighing again because ultimately it cost me more emotionally than dieting and weighing had.

[Papa Jack 86]

For nearly four years, I've worked on Intuitive Eating. I worked with an eating disorder therapist for a couple of years, and she is the one who directed me on this journey. I stopped dieting. I've - for the most part - never been happier. Dieting made me miserable, insecure and it didn't work. My weight has basically stabilized. I base that on how my rings and clothes fit. I've fluctuated, but probably not more than 10 pounds in either direction.

For the most part, I eat what I like when I'm hungry. food stopped being an enemy. I'm not yo-yo dieting up and down 30 pounds a year (and it was always more up than down).

I'm happily married. I have a husband who loves me for who I am, not what I look like. I was 380 pounds on our wedding day seven years ago, so it's not like he married me thin and then I got fat. I truly know I am loved for who I am as a person, and not the size of my clothes or a number on the scale.

I haven't gotten on a scale in almost four years. I live someplace that is, for the most part, not as superficial as the rest of the world. I lived in NYC for six years and I don't think I could've come to the emotional place I am at now while living there... where a size 8 is too fat, and everyone is judged for how they look.

So, why am I here? A friend had this type of surgery a year ago. I'd never heard of it before I read some of her blog posts about it. I knew about the other types of WLS and I knew - with no doubt - that they were not for me. I knew too many people who had WLS and suffered unpleasant side effects afterwards due to absorption issues and "dumping syndrome..." even sometimes with foods that one day they could eat without problem, but the next day it made them sick! I never wanted to go through that, even when I wanted to lose weight desperately.

I no longer want to lose weight desperately. In fact, there are only a few reasons I *want* to lose weight at all. There's the obvious inconveniences that come with being more than 200 pounds overweight. I need 2 airplane tickets, for example, which pretty much eliminates the potential for air travel. Which usually doesn't matter, as we prefer road trips anyway... but at the same time, it would be nice to have flying be an option. I am also somewhat concerned about the potential health issues. I'm not diabetic, but it is in the family. I don't have any heart issues I wouldn't have anyway (benign palpitations), but I'd also like to keep it that way. My father died of a heart attack in January. He was 58, almost 59. I am 35, and I'm not really fond of the thought of dying young. Granted, he was diabetic and did not control it even slightly for years... which led to kidney failure and dialysis. The point being, he had medical issues I don't currently have. I'd like to keep it that way, though.

I have fibromyalgia. Exercise is extremely painful for me. I don't really know that it would be easier if I lost weight, but it might be... however, I do have some concerns that eating so little - as is required following surgery - might be a problem for me because of the fibro... because I am already so tired and have so little energy.

Here's where things get complicated, though. I don't ever wanna know what I weigh again. I just don't. It's not good for me emotionally. I am so much happier not knowing, and *if* I were to undergo this procedure, I wouldn't want to know what I started out at or where I finish. I'm just pretty sure no doctor is going to work with me on that. I don't want a goal weight. They can assign me one, and weigh me... but I don't want to know about it. I'm not considering this radical procedure because I want to be thin. I'm not dreaming of wearing a bikini, and frankly, given the extra skin I'd likely have to deal with, I might look even worse after surgery than I sometimes feel I do now (though generally, I don't really think of my looks at all - it's been part of my eating disorder recovery process).

If I were to have surgery, I'd only tell my husband and a few very close friends. It's none of anyone's business, but I also think that people are quick to jump on a bandwagon - so to speak... and surgery is an extreme choice to deal with a lifelong problem. I don't want to influence others in a way that might be negative. But mostly, it's just that I'm a fairly private person.

I've accepted my body and my limitations. I love myself the way I am now. But I can't deny that life would be so much easier if I could lose weight. Dieting won't get me there, and it will make me absolutely miserable. I have two medical conditions that make weight loss challenging (polycystic ovarian syndrome and Hashimoto's Disease). However, I know that I can follow a medically necessary change to my diet. Last year I had gallbladder surgery and for 2 months had to eat a very low fat diet. It didn't make me crazy, I didn't really feel any sort of deprivation and I wasn't obsessing about my weight during that time... because it wasn't about that. I get that WLS is about losing weight, but for me it wouldn't be the focus. It would just be a means to an end that makes life less challenging and hopefully makes me feel better than I do now (due to the fibromyalgia).

I'm just curious... I'm doubtful I'll find anyone who doesn't check the scale regularly, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask...

Your story sounds like mine. I stayed off the scales. Stop fighting the diets. Been around the same overwieght person for several years. But this year my blood presure has started to creep up.

Other things are starting to happen. So I have decided I need to stop fooling myself. I will have the sleeve done & start taking care of my body. I will use the scales as a tool this time.

I wish you the best.

[Disney 20]

"The fact that my weight has stabilized clearly demonstrates that I'm not eating the way I once did. Otherwise, I'd have continued to gain weight rapidly. I didn't."

My nutritioinist and I were talking about this the other day. You are not gaining weight because you are eating the amount that sustains your weight. She mentioned that that is what happens- you will gain gain gain until the amount you are eating is the amount that sustains that weight.

She actually mentioned it when I was asking her about the theory that when you are in starvation mode you should eat more for a day or two to shock your system. She said that the amount I am eating (600-800 calories) will cause me to lose weight and if I was to continue- Ii would lose until the weight that THAT amount sustains- though of course I would not do that as I would be too thin.

The reason I mention this, is that you are eating a great deal if you are maintaining 200 extra pounds, even taking in to account your medical issues. The tool you would have with the sleeve would change that a lot- and without hunger.

I love my sleeve- it is everything I hoped for and more. However, I will never go years without weighing again because ultimately it cost me more emotionally than dieting and weighing had.

Meggie, is that what people call their 'set point' ? I have heard of this and wonder if that was what your nutritionist was talking about. I remember when I was always yo-yoing I could always get to a weight and then no matter how much I ate or how little I ate, I would stay the same unless I did something drastic. Just curious.

[Downsize Diva 1]

Hi Kariela,

I know my weight because my doctors office requires that I stand on the scale even if I just came by to say hello:) Its standard protocol.

All bodies are not created equal. Some are meant to be tiny and some are meant to be amazons. But.........there comes a time when you want to chase your toddler or grand baby and catch them before they put the marble in their mouth or climb up the monkey bars to save them because they're scared to come down alone. I've reached a point in my life where I don't care what other people think (I mean that sincerely). I do care about the quality of my life. I'm 47 going on 48 and there's soooo much left that I want to do or attempt to do and for many of those wants..... excess weight can be a hinderance.

I want to complete a marathon. Yes the 26 miler. I know I'll never win one but I sure as hell would like to start one and finish it. I want to learn how to navigate a sail boat. I live near the Potomac River which I have ventured to Kayak on (it was great!!!!) I would now like to get keel boat certified so I can sail down the potomac unassisted.That's just a few of the things on my living life to the fullest list.

Kariela .....you're starting on the right foot by doing your research. Ask lots of questions. I made the mistake of not asking enough questions when I got the Lapband in Oct 2009. I lost... then gained ....then got a fill and lost.... then gained again then tried to get another fill but couldn't because my Dr. could not access my port. Was referred for an upper GI an discovered my port flipped and my band shifted. Most of the weight I lost (40lbs of it) is back. If I had known that I would be one of the statistics on the complications list I would not of gotten the Lap Band. One other horrible complication they didn't tell me about is that after you have eaten a meal and it has passed thru the band if you have eaten something upseting or have the stomach flu ...you can NOT throw up. you gag and your stomach cramps up like you cant imagine and since it cant come up it ends up going down the hard way (with a vengence).

Now for the good news. I have read many articles and blogs, and reviews on the Gastric Sleeve and so far the majority of what I have found is positive and promising. Malnutrition/malabsorption is not prevalent with the sleeve. The results are fairly fast. Unfortunately it's still fairly new so the researching is still in the works.

My doctor has been pretty supportive and I've decided to have the gastric sleeve when he removes the lapband. My date is July 19th. He's also going to repair my hiatal hernia.

Like you I am new to this sight and have found the answers to many questions and everyone is really supportive. I hope you find the answers to all of your questions.

Yvette aka Downsize Diva

http://www.tickerfactory.com/weight-loss/wENolX4/

[KristeyK 3]

After reading everything you've said, whether or not you choose to have any kind of WLS...PLEASE...you need to understand that the extra 200lbs you are carrying around is already having a profound affect on your health. Fibro, Reynauld's...all get easier to deal with when you're lighter. Your blood pressure will continue to climb, you will find that you will be diabetic in 20 years...I can go on and on and on...I know you say you're happy with where you are, but in just a few more years you will wake up and realize how much more it sucks at 40 than it did at 35. (Seriously, all of us I know that have hit 40 are amazed at the difference a few years make, no matter what kind of shape we're in!) You really do need to look at losing some of the weight. You don't have to do it by scale. Go by what clothing size you're in...whatever will work for you.

[KellyL 173]

There are a lot of people who do not focus on the scales as a measurement of their success with the sleeve. It depends on a lot of things like which dr and program you use, on whether they make you come in for weighing and how often. Of course the first thing they do to qualify you for surgery is weigh you to see what your BMI is, because the insurance companies go by this to verify that it's medically necessary. There are other ways of knowing whether or not it's working, such as measurements or clothes size, how you feel, improved mobility, your blood glucose number, your blood pressure, whether or not you can fit in a booth at a restaurant, whether your fibromylagia is improved, etc.

Scales are ok for most, but you are not alone in not liking or wanting the scale to define you. I have experienced and read here where many others get too caught up on weighing. It can affect your mood, self-worth, self-esteem if it isn't constantly moving downward. And "stalls" are a huge topic of interest on the weight loss boards. A lot of times they aren't even true stalls, it's just our body's way of losing weight. It's hard to do, but it is best to just not weigh, or that often, because we all normally have a lot of weight to lose and it's gonna take some time, and we all lose so differently. People who have 200 lbs to lose normally lose a really big amt of weight in the first 3-6 months, then someone who has 70-80 lbs sees this persons loss and can't understand why they've only lost 30-40 lbs in that same time. We just don't need to compare ourselves.

Anyway, i commend you for your therapy and the success you've had with IE. Self-acceptance is so important, no matter what we look like or what we weigh. I had come to terms with my weight too and decided I was meant to be fat. I was diagnosed with diabetes, Fibromyalgia, IBS. I was tired all the time and having extreme mobility issues. Obesity was contributing to all my problems. I was tired of my weight holdinng me back from so much, and it was holding my family back too. Everything had to be planned around me and my issues. It was time for me to take control of my life and health. I had been researching wls for yrs. There were many roadblocks to overcome, 3 different ins companies I had excluded wls, I tried to look into self pay but again, had problems funding the surgery. Finally, things came together and I was able to have surgery 5/16. My diabetes is gone already, or in remission. I haven't had a flare up of my Fibro. I am already feeling so much better mentally and physically. I have more confidence.

I wish you luck in your research. It's not an easy decision and one to not take lightly. It has to feel 100% right for you, but scales shouldn't define you, nor should you let them deter you from a proccedure that can change your life in so many wonderful, positive ways.

[meggiep 57]

Meggie, is that what people call their 'set point' ? I have heard of this and wonder if that was what your nutritionist was talking about. I remember when I was always yo-yoing I could always get to a weight and then no matter how much I ate or how little I ate, I would stay the same unless I did something drastic. Just curious.

I am not sure if that is the same- I just know she said if I am eating 600-800 calories I WILL lose because my weight requires more than that to stay the same. She said the you will also by the same token gain and keep gaining until the weight you are is supported fully by the calories you eat. This means that if you are 200 pounds overweight you are eating a lot- enough to support that.

[Jax 2]

Weight X 11 = amt. of calories needed to maintain weight.

Example: 150 lb person needs to eat 1,650 calories per day to maintain 150.

[mnbsleeve 87]

Hi Karelia, So much has already been said that I don't have much more to add. However, it occured to me, could the IE therapist help you sort out some of these issues and figure out if the sleeve would fit with your lifestyle around food? Perhaps she could be a good resource for understanding the role this surgery would play in your life and if it really is something that would benefit you or set you back - which I'm understanding in essence is a concern for you. I know how difficult it is to make such an irreversible, life altering decision. Regardless of your path, I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can get some clarity and resolve this struggle! All my best!