Mad as HE!!!!!!!!

[Carlene 12]

Hopefully this will be of some reassurance to you, but I have never received a negative comment of any kind, ever.

I'm with you, Mouse. I didn't tell everyone at first, but then I was outed by the mother of a friend of my daughter-in-law - a woman I've never evern met. But she knew that a woman she sometimes ran into at bridge tournaments was a friend of mine, so she asked her, "Did you know that your friend Carlene had Lap Band surgery"? It's just grist for the gossip mill and not much you can do about it. Now that it's out, I'm kind of glad. I don't have to think up stories or excuses, and I don't have to tell lies (I am the world's worst liar). And like Mouse, I have not heard one single negative comment. Everyone has been super supportive.

The other day my (grown) son said, "Mom....you are sooooo thin." You miss a lot of those good strokes if people don't know you had surgery. They sometimes wonder if you're sick and don't say anything about your weight loss.

[LapBandit 5]

:angry :angry :angry :angry

I specifically told my mother not to tell anyone about it, and now I find out that she told a relative, who briefed her about my surgery. To make matters worse, when I asked her about it she denied it and became very defensive. I am hurt and very angry because I trusted my mother and now everyone in town knows I'm having sugery even before I've had it done. Now I feel like I'm going to be under a magnifying glass. Any comments on this? I don't think I'm wrong for feeling this way.

The same thing happened to me. The cat is out of the bag and there's nothing I can do about it. That's my philosophy now.

I figure I have enough just to stay concentrated on myself that I can't be worried about who knows and much less be concerned about their opinion.

I feel for ya...good luck.

[sarabluebell 0]

well cats out of the bag, now it all damage control

[Andy Liz 0]

Gracie - a similar thing happened to me. I told my brother I was "thinking" about having band surgery and asked him to tell no one. I shared this information with him because I thought he would benefit from having the band too. The next time I went to visit him (4 hours away) I also visited a very close friend that lives in the same town and found out that my brother had told him that I was getting gastric bypass in Mexico. My friend said he was very worried about my well being and that I shouldn't have it done. Luckily I had the opportunity to smooth things over and tell him I was just "thinking" about it at this point and that it was lap band - not bypass etc. Then I ate my brother's butt for opening his mouth and he said that he didn't remember me telling him to keep it quiet! Isn't that kind of an important thing to remember in a conversation? I'm sure I STRESSED that because it is very important to me.

Lesson learned by me - if I don't want anyone to know, I'm keeping my pie hole shut - period! So, I have decided on the surgery, I've got my date (8-17) and I've now only told my husband and the friend that's traveling with me. If it get's out then it get's out and I'll just have to deal with it then.

I live in a small town and I don't want the entire place to scrutinize every move I make and judge whether what I did was good or bad based on my weight loss speed and success. I think that when I reach a certain point I'll be willing to share my experience with a few that really show interest and would benefit from the information. We'll just have to wait and see....?

Anyway, I wish you lots of luck and take care!

Andy Liz

[klynn 0]

welll I had the same exact think happen to me and it is hard because not only are you being axamined by everyone else but my mom had the surgery the same day and she has lost 70 pound I have only lost 40 I gain and loose and it has become hard. I have people walk up and ask me if I have lost weight, to which I reply NO! but it is about you and something that you are doing for yourself not anyone else you will feel much better when you are finished and disregard anyone else. I think you should let your mom know just how much she hurt you and anyone else that this is private and they should not tell.

[Time to love me 0]

Marlluvia, sorry to hear that you are going through all of this BS. This is one of the reasons why I have chosen to only tell my Husband. It's upsetting to hear that one of the few people in your life that you should have full faith in, to stand by your side and keep alll your secrets safe, failed you. BUT you'll get through this. I know you can't do anything about it now. As someone has said the cats out of the bag, BUT do your best to stay positive, you most likely will have your family watching over every bite you have, making neg.comments and telling you what you should be and should not be eating. Just tell them to keep there neg. comments to themselves and that you are doing your best to use this"TOOL" that has been giving to you. Unfortunately this tool doesn't work overnight and you'll have battles and struggles often, just as we all do, with or without the band. Every once in awhile give the smack back to them.. When they pick up food that they shouldn't be eating.. tell them, just as they would tell you... "It's not good for you, should you be eating that?" :mad: Anyway, best of luck to you.. Stay positive, keep your chin up and prove them all wrong.. lose those pounds.. watch them melt away!

[Bettina 0]

OMG Gracie, you must be my sister!!! I think we have the same mom!! I said the same thing to my mom, cause you know we want to prove our success by showing not by talking about what we are gonna do to get there....i can so relate! In the past my mom has told things to relatives, but on this topic I have been lucky enough that she hasn't. But yup she would say she wouldn't tell and then whammy first thing to come out of her mouth was what i asked to be kept private.

Think about how good success is gonna feel!!!

[Telly 4]

My husband did that to me. I said I don't want anyone to know b/c then they'll expect things and maybe even judge me. What happens? His mother, father, sisters, brother, aunts.. cousins.... they all knew.. asking me about it at a bar-b-que. How dare he! That's just not criket man!