To tell or not to tell... that is the question

[Jensharley 9]

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories. I think I am going to keep this tucked away for now and allow myself to change my mind down the road.

[Nancy Rivers 24]

I am not telling my family of it. The people I am living with in Cincinnati know of course since they can't help but notice I will be doing things differently - plus I need someone to take me to and from the hospital. Some of my students (I teach union workers how to use computers) know. My boss - I just told him yesterday that I am having a medical procedure done and when I will return to teaching. I'm sure if I told him what it was, he would be supportive as he always has been supportive of anything that I do.

The funny thing is I haven't really had very many people give me grief over it. Mostly I just get "Do your research on it". Of course I have, otherwise I wouldn't be going forward with it. Most people know that I am a research freak anyway. I haven't had anyone flat out tell me not to. But then, if I had told my family about it, then I would have encountered that.

I think that you should let people know if you are comfortable with them knowing. If you know they will not be supportive - then don't tell them. Just let them be surprised when they see how much weight you have lost and then just tell them that you made lifestyle changes (which is not lying!) when they ask how you did it.

[ccbcdeke 11]

I have been very upfront with people on my plans to have surgery. In fact, in some cases, I have come out and told them unsolicited. It seems like most people are supportive and in many cases know someone who has had the lapband (which has confirmed my decision to get the sleeve many times over).

My sister was probably the most reluctant person I have told. She has always been the largest person of all my brothers and sisters (there are eight of us). I am not too far behind her. She and her husband lost over 100 lbs a couple of years ago using Weight Watchers. Seeing their success, my wife and I joined WW and had really good results. I lost about 70 lbs in about 6 months. Two years later I have gained every bit of that weight back and my sister has regained a good portion of her weight. Yet she is still the one to caution me on WLS. smh :nonod:

[Bryn Dawson 9]

I too am fairly open, and have told my office (including my boss, because we're very open with each other) and my mom and dad, one aunt, a lot of my friends, and of course my husband. My employees are all excited for me and give me encouragement - they tell me I'm doing well when I walk to the kitchen to get Water for my Crystal Light or other things of that nature. It's little stuff, but it makes me feel good about my decision and about my support structure.

Keep in mind, you have nothing but time. You can always decide down the road to tell someone, but you can't take it back once it's out. That's how I'm looking at it for my extended family - no reason to tell now but might tell later.

Just my 2 cents...

[Leslie 14]

I am only telling a very few close friends and my hubby. I just don't want constant comments from the peanut gallery. Plus, it will still be hard work to loose the weight. I will not be lying since I will be changing my diet

[Wheetsin 714]

I told most people when I had my AGB. I didn't "advertise" it, but I told the people in my office (I worked a remote job then, so my team was in a different state/office than I was) who I knew, saw on a daily basis, ate lunch with, etc. My immediate family knew - my aunts/uncles may know now but I really have no idea. I've changed jobs since, and my immediate team at the current job knows.

I'm glad I told them about the AGB. I once had a very bad stuck episode and couldn't pass my own saliva. My surgeon was about an hour away and there was no way I could drive myself (I was having to yak about every 3 - 5 mins, and it was all congested interstate driving to get there). Since my coworkers already knew, there was nothing awkward or revealing about asking one of then to drive me.

My husband & parents know I'm considering the sleeve, and are encouraging. My parents were both banded after me, and at this point they would actually prefer the sleeve but their insurance won't cover it and they can't afford it OOP. I will not tell other family (well, I'll tell my DD when she's old enough to understand). I will probably not tell anyone at my current work. For one, it is not a supportive environment. For two, I don't have the same type of personal relationships with anyone here as I had at my last place (e.g. I don't eat lunch with anyone, there's no one I do anything with outside business hours, etc.) They DO know I have AGB, so I will either tell them that something has gone wrong with it and it needs to be corrected (not inaccurate), or that I am having hernia repair. It will depend on how much time my surgeon wants me to take off.

[So Cal Kurt 32]

I hadn't kept it a secret and told anyone that asked. I can however understand you not wanting to share. Maybe because of my age(49), I really don't care what people think. My coworkers all know, my close friends all know and the truth is. At almost 50, a lot of my friends are having the same weight related health problems and are considering WLS as they have seen my success and currently my wife's progress. I don't quite understand the stigma attached to WLS. I can however understand your apprehension. At first I told people I was going to have a hernia repair(not a lie) but realized that it wasn't a big deal. When I dropped 80+lbs in 3 months, I had no choice because I got a lot of "are you sick?' type questions. One way or another, you will love the results. Good Luck!

[AMLP 4]

Only my husband and my parents know. People have commented on my weight loss and I just say I am dieting, eating smaller meals throughout the day.

It's been 6 months now and no one has a clue. When we go out to eat I usually share with my husband and nobody notices how little I eat. People are just concentrating on their own meals.

This can be kept a secret I am now convinced.

Good luck with your choice!

[Pixie Jen 7]

I have decided against telling people(except a few close friends, family & my boss) until I have the surgery. I had been against surgery for so many years do to the failing of my marriage after my ex-husband had RNY and now I don't want to seem like a hypocrite. I know I'm doing it for medical reasons but I'm not sure others would see it that way.

I think you'll know when it's the right time to let people know and if you don't then you don't. Good Luck!