Getting Support from Family and Friends

[CaliforniaJenn 0]

I've decided to have the surgery and since I am a self-pay (BMI is too low with no co-morbidities), I'm going to Mexico for my surgery. I'm having trouble talking to friends and family about it because they're concerned about the surgery and the idea of Mexico. Most seem to respond with, "Can't you try weight watchers again or one more diet?" I'm trying to point out that I'm 90 lbs overweight and "one more diet" is going to have the same effect as the others (lose the weight and then regain it).

Any suggestions on how to explain why this surgery is going to be the start of my new life?

[momof2mms 0]

I'm in the same boat as you. I am also planning to go to Mexico because I'm self pay. Show them this forum and let them see for themselves! What surgeon are you using in Mexico? My family doesn't understand how hard it is to go from one uneventful diet to another and yo yo in between.

Good luck!

[pingu 0]

I am exactly the same as you. I can't tell my family, not my parents or my siblings. Telling one will mean they all know. They will think that it is the wrong decision because it will mean I can't eat a 'normal' meal again or have a 'big blow out' for Christmas or Birthdays etc.

It won't matter when I tell them that I can't eat normally. I over eat and it is killing me slowly.

The fact is they want me to lose weight as much as I do. They are as worried over my weight as I am. However, they think that I can diet and that is it. It is like they have memory loss and can't remember the times I have lost it and gained it back again with extra!

I, like you, want to lose it and lose it forever. Never ever again to be over weight. I have excellent will power for quite a long time - I have dieted and lost lots of weight over months and months and months. However, I am only human and don't have life long will power, I need something to help me keep the weight off.

I for one will not tell my family until months after I have it done. By that time I will be a lot lighter - although not at goal

[kemo46 82]

I've decided to have the surgery and since I am a self-pay (BMI is too low with no co-morbidities), I'm going to Mexico for my surgery. I'm having trouble talking to friends and family about it because they're concerned about the surgery and the idea of Mexico. Most seem to respond with, "Can't you try weight watchers again or one more diet?" I'm trying to point out that I'm 90 lbs overweight and "one more diet" is going to have the same effect as the others (lose the weight and then regain it).

Any suggestions on how to explain why this surgery is going to be the start of my new life?

Hey Jenn, get your family on the forum, let them research and ask questions. This helped my wife understand and become more comfortable with the surgery and Mexico. I could not be more happy with my surgeon and my progress.

[Papa Jack 86]

I am exactly the same as you. I can't tell my family, not my parents or my siblings. Telling one will mean they all know. They will think that it is the wrong decision because it will mean I can't eat a 'normal' meal again or have a 'big blow out' for Christmas or Birthdays etc.

It won't matter when I tell them that I can't eat normally. I over eat and it is killing me slowly.

The fact is they want me to lose weight as much as I do. They are as worried over my weight as I am. However, they think that I can diet and that is it. It is like they have memory loss and can't remember the times I have lost it and gained it back again with extra!

I, like you, want to lose it and lose it forever. Never ever again to be over weight. I have excellent will power for quite a long time - I have dieted and lost lots of weight over months and months and months. However, I am only human and don't have life long will power, I need something to help me keep the weight off.

I for one will not tell my family until months after I have it done. By that time I will be a lot lighter - although not at goal

WOW! Same thing is happening to me! My wife of 39 years doesn't understands why I just don't diet. Like a good wife, She's concern about the risk. I told her I have 100% of bad risk if I don't do this. I just forward this forum to her to look at. Last night she was looking for the bad things that could go wrong with this. I saw this on the Dr's Show and found out a hospital 30 miles away do this. I have my first meet on July 5th. My wife will go with me to the class. Hopefully she will start to see I need this. If I don't get this I'm a walking deadman.

When I think about getting my life back I tear up. I will not tell anyone at work about this until I reach my goal. NO ONE understands what fat people go through unless you have been there. Thank you for your post.

[Valentina 2,642]

Tread carefully. Do not treat their doubts and nonsupport lightly. I did. I was determined to have my surgery. I knew it was the right decision for me. I was sooooo sure and confident that when my SO told me that he couldn't handle it, I minimized his opinion. The results? --a call the morning after my surgery telling me that I was no longer welcome to live with him in his home (we had been together for 6yrs). Do I regret my decision to have my surgery? No. Do I regret not having someone to hug me? Yes.

I will rebuild my life and some day, I'm sure this decision of HIS will not hurt so bad because I guess we were never on the same level of love and devotion. I will survive and as I rebuild, I'll be healthier and thinner!

I'm just saying be sure. Be very sure.

Good luck and keep in touch. This site is wonderful for not only info, but support as well.

Valentina

WOW! Samething is happening to me!

[Leslie 14]

Oh my goodness Valentina!! I am soooo sorry that you had that experience.

I am not telling my extended family about the surgery at all. If they as when they visit a week later, I am telling them I had a hernia repair. They are the most unsupportive judgemental people I know

[Papa Jack 86]

Tread carefully. Do not treat their doubts and nonsupport lightly. I did. I was determined to have my surgery. I knew it was the right decision for me. I was sooooo sure and confident that when my SO told me that he couldn't handle it, I minimized his opinion. The results? --a call the morning after my surgery telling me that I was no longer welcome to live with him in his home (we had been together for 6yrs). Do I regret my decision to have my surgery? No. Do I regret not having someone to hug me? Yes.

I will rebuild my life and some day, I'm sure this decision of HIS will not hurt so bad because I guess we were never on the same level of love and devotion. I will survive and as I rebuild, I'll be healthier and thinner!

I'm just saying be sure. Be very sure.

Good luck and keep in touch. This site is wonderful for not only info, but support as well.

Valentina

Sorry about your Loss. You sound like a strong person. My best wishes for you.

[mina 27]

your story is like mine and like a lot of people on this forum. I went alone to mexico on 6/10 and had my surgery 6/11 and just came back last night. my total flight time was 7 hours, eventhough it took me over 12 hrs to get home due to delays, i survived that. I had my surgery with dr. aceves and i highly recommend him, I'm an ob/gyn practicing in the U.S so it wasn't an easy decision to fly to mexico to have surgery, i was very happy with the information i gathered on dr aceves. My family and almost all of my close friends don't know i went to mexico and had bariatric surgery (i told one good friend and 3 of my coworkers). the sad thing is i am very close to my family especially my sisters but i didn't want the extra stress. they knew i wanted to have the surgery and weren't too happy with that. I am waiting till i recover and i will tell them though not my parents. so if it something you really want, do a lot of research so you feel comfortable (you will always have a little doubt and that's okay). if you have any questions please feel free to contact me. good luck to you.