anger

[Roseib 13]

I seem to be angry now. Mostly angry that I couldn't afford weight loss surgery until last June at age 62. Now that I've lost a lot of weight and the loose skin thing is getting bad and I think about how much worse it is going tp be I feel even angrier. Up to now I've focused on the positives - and there are many - but the anger is getting more frequent. The well is dry. No money for plastic surgery. Every extra bit I have now goes toward retirement.

A psychologist friend thinks I probably have some aging issues mixed in with the weight stuff which is probably true. I'm going to try to find s psychologist to see who has bariatric experience. I'm not impressed with the psychologists who work with my surgeon.

Just wondering if anyone else has gone through sm angry stage?

[KellyL 173]

I am pretty content now, but I am newly sleeved. I did go through both anger and depression during the 7 yrs of research and numerous attempts to have wls before now, which failed. I try to believe that there was a reason for that, but I would have much preferred to have gotten my surgery and been post op and enjoying those yrs as a thinner healthier me.

I hope you can find the answers, please update us what they advise.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I definitely see more wrinkles, that I have never seen before.... I also see muscles too... which is the up side. My arms def look older... but so far I think that being wrinkled is better than being fat, with less wrinkles... I will be 58 this wednesday.

[thinoneday 445]

Sorry to hear your having this problem. I really can't relate(so why bother write anything right?) it's because I count every blessing I'm given. I had to self pay so took out a loan and am paying that back, plus putting my daughter through college. We decided she should not work during her 6 years of college and only concentrate on school. . .it's really tough to maintain 2 homes and 2 sets of bills, plus cars, and her spending money and tuition. . .but you know what? she is doing so well and only has 2 years left now. . this is only temporary and a small sacrifice to pay in order to give her the best we can. . (blessing 1) , the next one is i weighed 350 lbs and was really not doing well health wise, positive stress tests, talk about getting bilateral knee replacements, spinal fusions due to herniations of the discs, uterine cancer (hysterectomy took care of that) . . I was given the opportunity to have this WL surgery in which I lost 150 lbs and no more problems. . . no more surgeries! I'm really happy. . . sure I have loose skin and need to loose about 15 - 20 lbs more, but you know I was never a beauty queen or ultra slim and my family loves me regardless how i look, so if i have some loose skin flopping around so be it, at least i won't be dying from a heart attack or be in a wheel chair from a possible mistake on spinal fusion. . . I'm really blessed and I'm happy to be able to see the sun every morning. . . we are only here for a short time and life is too short to spend it on being angry with ourselves or others. . . I don't want to seem preachy and if i do i'm sorry, but this is the only way I could explain. . . good luck and i hope you find the help your looking for

[Tiffykins 673]

I can't say it is anger that I feel, but I definitely hate that I see more wrinkles and lines on my face. My body is shot, but I knew I was going to get pregnant so I didn't worry about it. Fortunately, I should be able to get insurance to cover the majority of my plastic surgery, and I will have some of my issues resolved. However, I do not believe that I will be 100% content even with the physical changes that a plastic surgeon can give me. I'm extremely vain, seriously, the most vain woman you'd probably meet. I nitpick every wrinkles, every line, and my friends think I am absolutely crazy. But, I see flaws that I never acknowledged at 270lbs. I have considered starting some form of counseling just to get to a better place mentally with all the changes that have occurred to my body over the last 2 years.

I am sure I have some form of body dysmorphia, and/or a severely skewed perspective of how I look to others. But, at the same time, there are things about my body that I could literally not care about. My stomach literally has 18 very noticeable scars that remind me everyday of what I have endured. My husband affectionately tells me that my stomach reminds him of some freak science project, and he's right, but that part of my body doesn't bother me. It's funny my 11 lines (the wrinkles between my eyebrows) make me cry sometimes, but my flabby thighs, arms and stomach have little effect on me.

I hope you find some peace soon. It's a difficult road to travel at any age.

[Roseib 13]

Hi, everyone, thanks for your comments. They are helpful to put things in perspective.

I am extremely happy to have had the surgery and was happy to deplete my small nest egg to have it. I think mostly this is an aging issue that is coming out through the weight loss process and am going to do a few sessions with a psychologist to try to work through that. I thought I had worked through this stuff in my mid-40s when I had a mid-life crisis sort of thing when I had to face up to that fact that there wasn't going to be a husband and children. But almost 64 is a whole different ball park than 45. I'm smiling as I write that. 60 is NOT the new 35. It's 60.

Most of the time I feel like the rest of you -- happy to be getting healthier and more mobile/energetic and likely extending my life. But every so often that anger at having to wait until 60s to have it and ending up looking like a walrus comes through.

Thinoneday, you are amazing at juggling the surgery and putting your daughter through college! I teach at a university and am well aware of the great costs involved in putting a child through college these days. Kudos to you!

thanks again everyone.

[Buffy 4]

Hello all, just looking forward to my big day. May15, can't get here soon enough. I will be 65 this October , tried all the other crap out there....to think of the money I spent over the years on empty promises. I am so thankful I can finally get the help I need to finally take charge. I have been eating correctly, and stepped up my exercises. I want to be as healthy as I can, and give myself a better future. I am hoping to live out my time, finally being the person on the outside that I feel on the inside. Keep in touch. I love this support system. I am so very thankful for all of you and any suggestions on a fast and easy recovery you can offer. Thank you all so kindly. Buffy