So why are fat people so discouraging?

[Rootman 1,101]

So TWICE today two ladies mentioned that I should NOT lose any more weight, I am 242 pounds and technically still obese. I am down to a size 38 pants and size large under clothes and shirt. I'm not really THAT skinny yet, but I am considerably smaller than I was. When I mentioned that I should lose about 60 more pounds they both practically threw a fit and insisted I don't need to lose any more. I mean it's nice to be made a fuss over by why so pushy and negative? I don't remember being so pushy when I was fat. And I hate to even bring it up but is it just a woman thing? Do I present that much of a "threat" to them by getting thin? Sorry for any toes I may have stepped on.

[KathyM 14]

Weird, but I know what you mean. Here is my least favorite conversation....

Other: Wow! You look great!

Me: Thanks

Other: No, Really!! You look GREAT!!

Me: Thank you, I have been working at it

Other: Im SERIOUS! You look FANTASTIC!

I hate that!!! What was I before, Shrek?

[kellyw74 258]

I think my mom said it best. A while back, I was watching The Price is Right and saw how much weight Drew Carrey has lost. I said to my mom that he looks kinda sick and is "too skinny"

She told me that she didn't think that at all and that he is probably a pretty normal weight. We are probably just so use to seeing him so BIG that he looks too skinny.

I bet that is how people see us when they say we don't need to lose any more weight. They are use to seeing us one way and when we get so much smaller, it is weird for them and they think it it too much! Even though we are normal or get approaching normal. Make sense.

There are other nay sayers that are just jealous and don't want us to be successful, so just want us to stop so we don't make them look bad! I have those too!

kelly

[ATLGirl 134]

Its jealously... simple... keep going! You are doing great!

[marymoon 18]

Weird, but I know what you mean. Here is my least favorite conversation....

Other: Wow! You look great!

Me: Thanks

Other: No, Really!! You look GREAT!!

Me: Thank you, I have been working at it

Other: Im SERIOUS! You look FANTASTIC!

I hate that!!! What was I before, Shrek?

That made me laugh out loud - hilarious & oh so true!

[M2G 1,836]

I think someone here at VST brought up a good point on this subject once. They said if the same person (who said you didn't need to lose anymore) saw you walking down the street at goal they would think NOTHING of it. They would probably consider you healthy. But since they have seen you and knew you when you were bigger, they are having a hard time reconciling the images of you in your past with what you are today.

Don't worry about what other people think and do what YOU know is best for you. And come here to vent anytime you need.

[thinoneday 445]

So TWICE today two ladies mentioned that I should NOT lose any more weight, I am 242 pounds and technically still obese. I am down to a size 38 pants and size large under clothes and shirt. I'm not really THAT skinny yet, but I am considerably smaller than I was. When I mentioned that I should lose about 60 more pounds they both practically threw a fit and insisted I don't need to lose any more. I mean it's nice to be made a fuss over by why so pushy and negative? I don't remember being so pushy when I was fat. And I hate to even bring it up but is it just a woman thing? Do I present that much of a "threat" to them by getting thin? Sorry for any toes I may have stepped on.

BINGO!!!! You hit the nail right smack dab on the head! Your a threat to them. . keep doing good, keep losing and when they see you aren't going to listen to their discourgements they'll stop. Good luck! Your doing great by the way!!!

[thinoneday 445]

Weird, but I know what you mean. Here is my least favorite conversation....

Other: Wow! You look great!

Me: Thanks

Other: No, Really!! You look GREAT!!

Me: Thank you, I have been working at it

Other: Im SERIOUS! You look FANTASTIC!

I hate that!!! What was I before, Shrek?

LOL Thats sooooo funny! :lol: I understand how you feel. . . my OB/GYN whom I've been seeing for the past 6 years who is my high risk doctor as well. . .saw me for the first time since surgery. . (I had lost 150 lbs by then) his comments where "LOOK AT YOU! " WOW YOU LOOK GREAT! then he did my exam which he has done every 6 months and he asked me about something he "noticed" He asked how long have you had this???? I told him it's been there for the past 30 years. . . he said "Uh, funny I never noticed it before" I told him that maybe I was too fat for him to have noticed before. . . he got the message and apologized. . .

[KellyL 173]

If it's females and you're a guy, I am not sure it's a threat other than if you get any thinner you may make them look or feel fatter lol. We women tend to like our men at least a little bigger than us.

But I also agree with the others too. If they've only known you as bigger, then you do look too skinny to them. Just do what looks and feels good to you. I used to say people complain when I'm fat, and then they complain when I lose weight too!! I'm done pleasing others, so I'm gonna please ME now!!

[Raine 170]

I tell people my goal weight is 140 which I don't consider too small for me, I am 5'5. And they all say that I will look sickly and ematiated (spell check lol) How can anyone look ematiated at 140 unless you are 6 foot something? I don't get it. I agree with the jealousy thing from people that are heavy and making negative comments. You are doing what they have dreamed of doing forever. I also agree with the fact that people get used to seeing you a certain size for so long that they just can't picture you to be a normal weight.

To heck with all of them, and everyone and lets keep rocking our sleeves.

[thinoneday 445]

If it's females and you're a guy, I am not sure it's a threat other than if you get any thinner you may make them look or feel fatter lol. We women tend to like our men at least a little bigger than us.

But I also agree with the others too. If they've only known you as bigger, then you do look too skinny to them. Just do what looks and feels good to you. I used to say people complain when I'm fat, and then they complain when I lose weight too!! I'm done pleasing others, so I'm gonna please ME now!!

Hi, KellyL sorry but i beg to differ with you. . . even when I was a 350 lb woman, I didn't want my man big. . . to me they have to be fit and not jiggly, and now that I'm more fit after losing 150 lbs, they better be fit too. . . sorry, just me as a woman who doesn't like bigger men.

[ToDream 18]

Rootman - how tall are you?

[Rootman 1,101]

Rootman - how tall are you?

6 foot. Funny you should ask, one lady yesterday INSISTED that I was at least 6'2" tall because her ex husband was that tall (wonder why he's an ex? - but I digress ). For some reason this is a common misconception from others I meet both males and female, I don't know why. I even had them measure me in my stocking feet at my last Dr appointment a few months ago, it came out at 5' 11.5" in the late afternoon, close enough to call it 6 foot even in my book, I should be a tad taller in the morning and hope to maybe rebound a bit more as I lose more weight, I WAS 6'2" DECADES ago and have since lost it, due to compression of my spine, hips, knees and arches.

According to every BMI chart I've seen I should weigh between 160 and 190, I chose 180 as a "goal" just to be within those bounds. There are some BMI charts out there that have a "big boned" setting that increases the range but I have never considered myself "big boned" in fact when I was last skinny in my 20's (I'm now 50) I was rather light framed and almost effeminate with low muscle mass. Pretty sissy looking anyways.

[KellyL 173]

Hi, KellyL sorry but i beg to differ with you. . . even when I was a 350 lb woman, I didn't want my man big. . . to me they have to be fit and not jiggly, and now that I'm more fit after losing 150 lbs, they better be fit too. . . sorry, just me as a woman who doesn't like bigger men.

I shouldn't have spoken for all women, I guess I should say that I prefer medium-thick, not small-skinny. But thats just the physical, I go by personality and compatibility in actually choosing a mate. Thank goodness a few folks looked beyond my jiggly or I'd be lonely and childless.

[ToDream 18]

I guess I prefer em a little meaty My hubby is 6'3" and 240. If he was in the 100's, he would definitely look sickly. I don't think anyone at 6' tall should be 160 lbs, small framed or not.

You're doing great. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

6 foot. Funny you should ask, one lady yesterday INSISTED that I was at least 6'2" tall because her ex husband was that tall (wonder why he's an ex? - but I digress ). For some reason this is a common misconception from others I meet both males and female, I don't know why. I even had them measure me in my stocking feet at my last Dr appointment a few months ago, it came out at 5' 11.5" in the late afternoon, close enough to call it 6 foot even in my book, I should be a tad taller in the morning and hope to maybe rebound a bit more as I lose more weight, I WAS 6'2" DECADES ago and have since lost it, due to compression of my spine, hips, knees and arches.

According to every BMI chart I've seen I should weigh between 160 and 190, I chose 180 as a "goal" just to be within those bounds. There are some BMI charts out there that have a "big boned" setting that increases the range but I have never considered myself "big boned" in fact when I was last skinny in my 20's (I'm now 50) I was rather light framed and almost effeminate with low muscle mass. Pretty sissy looking anyways.