Trying to bring me back to life

lostalongtheway · June 5, 2011

I'm so overwhelmed by all of the wls information. It wasn't until recently that I finally made up my mind that this is something I want to do. When I started researching I thought the lap band would be less invasive. At least that's what I heard on all of the commercials. In reality, it's all invasive. It never dawned on me that I'd have this foreign object inside of me for the rest of my life or maybe I would need a second surgery later on down the line. Well, I've been doing more research and watching youtube videos about the sleeve and I'm thinking that this is the way I want to go. But I'm so overwhelmed......with finding the right surgeon, getting all of the requirements done, getting insurance approval, preop, who would go with me on surgery day, who would help me aftewards, etc. It makes me a bit apprehensive. In a way I think I'm just fearful. If I could just make the first step.

I pray about this every night that one day I'll know what it feels like to be thin. I've been overweight most of my life, but no where near where I am now. When I looking back over my life, I feel as though I have not lived, only existed. I'm at my highest weight and it's depressing. I hate looking in the mirror because I don't feel beautiful anymore. When I'm out and I see someone that hasn't seen me a long time, I avoid them because I know in their mind they're thinking, "Wow what happened to you?" In the past I've never been self conscious, I kept myself up and very social. Now, I hate leaving my house, when people invite me places I make excuses as to why I can't go and one thing that I've noticed is the fact that I don't make eye contact with anyone. This is not me. I don't know the person that I am now. I feel trapped. I can't just walk into a store and buy clothes. I have to go to the big girl section. I want to run, that's something I can't do now. All of the things most people take for granted, I wish I could do. I'm so frustrated!

Nancy Rivers · June 5, 2011

Hello and welcome to the site!

The first step that I did was contact my insurance company to find out if they would cover it. Unfortunately they did not. However, I decided to go ahead anyway.

The second step that I did was to Google search for doctors in the area that I wanted to have the surgery done. I then checked out everyone's website and any videos they might have had. I also checked to see what all the practice offered - if it was surgery only or if they also did non-surgical methods of weight loss. For me, that was important because I wanted to know that the surgeon I chose wasn't just doing surgeries. I felt personally, that if the doctor had non-surgical weight loss programs, then he/she would probably be more understanding of me and better able to help me and not just pushing doing a surgery because that's what would fill his pocketbook. At the same time, I also started researching the different types of surgeries since some of the doctors were using terms on their websites that I wasn't familiar with.

I then called and made a reservation for his informational seminar. Based on that, I went ahead and scheduled an actual office appointment so that I could sit down and talk with him and his staff. At this point, I'm confident that I made the right choice for me.

I hope that was helpful.

Caliblonde · June 6, 2011

Welcome! I can certainly relate to the feelings that you're having. It took me 2 years to finally take the first step and even then I wasn't 100% on board. I'm so happy that you found this site early, there are so many wonderful people here who can guide you through the entire process.

As far as starting the process, my recommendation would be to call your insurance company first and find out what they cover and what their requirements are. If they cover the procedure they can give you recommendations for surgeons. Then, make an appointment with your primary care physician to discuss what you want to do and why. Your PCP may be able to help you through the process as well.

Good luck!!

meghuffman · June 6, 2011

Please don't think that you're alone. I was thin (5'7"- 110-125 lbs in high school) and although I gained weight in college, I lost it and stayed at around 150 most of my adult life. My mother has had weight problems all of her adult life, and when I was younger, I would get so frustrated when she would constantly say, "Am I as big as she" when we were out in public. I now find myself constantly comparing my size to that of other women. My sister and I would get upset with Mama because when it was time for her class reunions, she worried for months before the event, scared about the fact that she gained weight. Now, I can relate to with what she's had to go through. I have moved away from my home town and if my high school reunion was this year (it's next year), I wouldn't go. I've had people that I was close to in high school not recognize me.

I'm a Social Worker and was working at a dialysis center when I began to put on weight (I've put on probably 50 pounds since I quit in 2008). The patients and staff would say the rudest things to me about my weight gain. I started trying to get pregnant in 2004, but have never been able to. I remember once, I saw a dialysis staff member that I had not seen in several months. Her comment to me was, "Meg- are you pregnant or are you just fat?" At that time I probably weighed 180 pounds, which was big, but not morbidly obese. I cried for an hour afterwards. I remember we had a Priest who would provide various services to our patients. He came into my office after I had been crying and asked me if I was ok. I told him that somebody had hurt my feelings and went to pieces again. He asked if he could pray for me. He stood behind me (I was sitting down) with his hands on my shoulders and as he prayed, I completely lost it. I couldn't understand what possessed someone to say something so hurtful.

Since that time, others have made similar comments. My mother says things because she knows what I'm going through. But what she doesn't understand is that sometimes her comments are hurtful. I know how big I've gotten. I see myself naked everyday. I don't need anybody to tell me how much weight I've gained.

In addition, my health has gotten completely out of hand. I had my mind set on gastric bypass, having read a little about the sleeve and deciding that it was not for me. When I attended the Seminar, the surgeon went into detail about it and I knew then and there that this was the option for me. Since I haven't been "morbidly obese" for 3+ years, insurance won't pay. Bypass is more expensive ($12,000.00 more if I had gotten it from this surgeon) and my insurance won't pay for Sleeve since it is considered a new procedure. I'm glad that I have to pay out-of-pocket because I don't have to jump through insurance hoops, but mainly because I am able to choose an option that is right for me instead of settling on something just because insurance pays.

I've really been considering weightloss surgery for several months, but when I found out just how bad my health is, I kicked it in gear. I am the type that when I decide on something, whether it's to get my hair cut or to have weight loss surgery, I want it done immediately. My initial consult is on Tuesday, 6-7-11. I honestly feel that this is a great decision for me. The money isn't a problem since I will be able to get a personal loan. I figured that would be the biggest obstacle for me and since I was able to get past that, I'm hoping and praying that everything runs smoothly.

Please don't hesitate to send me a message if you need support or just vent. I can relate to how you feel and know just how important support is from those who understand. You're in my prayers.

I'm so overwhelmed by all of the wls information. It wasn't until recently that I finally made up my mind that this is something I want to do. When I started researching I thought the lap band would be less invasive. At least that's what I heard on all of the commercials. In reality, it's all invasive. It never dawned on me that I'd have this foreign object inside of me for the rest of my life or maybe I would need a second surgery later on down the line. Well, I've been doing more research and watching youtube videos about the sleeve and I'm thinking that this is the way I want to go. But I'm so overwhelmed......with finding the right surgeon, getting all of the requirements done, getting insurance approval, preop, who would go with me on surgery day, who would help me aftewards, etc. It makes me a bit apprehensive. In a way I think I'm just fearful. If I could just make the first step.

I pray about this every night that one day I'll know what it feels like to be thin. I've been overweight most of my life, but no where near where I am now. When I looking back over my life, I feel as though I have not lived, only existed. I'm at my highest weight and it's depressing. I hate looking in the mirror because I don't feel beautiful anymore. When I'm out and I see someone that hasn't seen me a long time, I avoid them because I know in their mind they're thinking, "Wow what happened to you?" In the past I've never been self conscious, I kept myself up and very social. Now, I hate leaving my house, when people invite me places I make excuses as to why I can't go and one thing that I've noticed is the fact that I don't make eye contact with anyone. This is not me. I don't know the person that I am now. I feel trapped. I can't just walk into a store and buy clothes. I have to go to the big girl section. I want to run, that's something I can't do now. All of the things most people take for granted, I wish I could do. I'm so frustrated!

lostalongtheway · June 6, 2011

Thank you ladies.

Raine · June 6, 2011

Its a life changing decision. Your fears are valid and warrented. One of the things that you will find about this site is that most everyone will want to lend support and help, from newbies to vets. Welcome to the board and good luck on your journey!