My "Ah-hah!" Moment...

[vanishingvixen 40]

This past Thursday was quite possibly the BEST day I’ve had as a Mommy. Ever. And that’s saying a lot.

Mommy & Mini in Central Park

It started simply enough: with Mini-me & trip to the Central Park Zoo. Lots of walking. Hills & such that I handled w/out a second thought or losing breath. That is something that you never really think about until after you realized that the reason you didnt think about it is because it didnt pose a problem as it did BEFORE! But of course one adventure wasn’t enough for Missy Poo. We walked and talked…skipped and played. She love, Love, LOVES Central Park…SO, b/c she had mentioned it on a prior trip, I packed a blanket & we copped a squat and had us a lil’ picnic.

I felt so grateful that we were in that moment…and that I’m ABLE to spend this kind of time with her. Hell, I got misty a few times. Just seeing how happy she was. Some parents NEVER get to spend this kind of time w/their kids. So I’m thankful that God carved out this bit for me. Though the circumstances may not be ideal, and are spending all of this time in NYC to deal with a family health crisis…on top of my under-employment status…it still bears repeating that God’s timing is always impeccable. I was exactly where I was supposed to be doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

*headnod* Anyway…We walked some more and spotted what turned out to be the Victorian Gardens mini-carnival. I was hesitant b/c I knew that if she wanted to ride, that I’d have to ride with her – at least the first couple of times. And that sent me into a mini-panic /c I didn’t want to ruin my Sweetface’s first carnival experience. *sigh* So, we go to the first ride – some flying leap frog things. She looks at me and says “Come on Mommy!”. I look at the attendant…she gives me The Look & smile that says “Go ahead!”. So I look at her and ask: “Are you sure I can fit on this thing?!”She

Makes is ALL worth it!

falls out laughing: “Of course you can, Mami! Go!” I say a small prayer. Get on board. Buckle the belt w/out a hitch. Pull down the lapbar without a hitch. And I rideeeeeeeeeee. And after that…we head to the roller coaster (and I fit!)…we head to the flying swings (and I fit!)…we head to every ride in the park (and I fit!). I guess I should mention that at each new ride I asked “Are you sure I can fit on this thing?”. To which I got varied & sundried responses ranging from “uh, yeah. *duh* Why WOULDN’T you fit?” to “You’re kidding, right?” (As they hold open the gate and motion for me to enter). I actually cried a few times during some of my hysterical laughter that I shared with Gianna. Tears of joy. Tears of disbelief. Tears of relief. Tears of gratefulness. And yes…tears to wash away all of the $h!t I’ve been carrying around with me as I go through this transition. *exhale*

It has finally hit me that this time last year – I would have never been able to dream of some of these “adventures” we are going on together. But now… its a reality, and it was the absolute most invigorating (dare I say accomplished) feeling in this whole wide world to be able to experience this particular “First…” with my daughter. It truly, truly was.

And THAT, my friends (and frenemies *lol*) is exactly WHY. I. Did. This. To be able to enjoy this life, and living, and playing, and experiencing…with my child. To know that weight off my frame = years added to my life. To know that even though I might not have it all together, but I still have come a very long way – eventhough there is still much work to be done.

It’s true that surgical intervention for weightloss isn’t for everyone…but it was the best decision I could have made. For ME. At THIS particular time in my life. It’s still a struggle, yes. I have my moments, yes. I even have my doubts that it worked, yes. There is a thin line between perception and reality often times, but for the first time since this journey began. I’m truly at peace. And dare I say a little giddy…about my new reality.

One of the big bonuses (aside from being able to experience new things as a Mommy) is for me to do what I haven’t done in over 7 years: go to an amusement park without fear of fitting on any (every!)thing. I. cannot. WAIT… to hit Kings Dominion and every new ride I’ve missed. *giggety, giggety* IDK what even tickles me more though: the fact that I can get on my rides…or that I can get on HER rides [with her]. *adjusting my thinking cap* Ahhhh. Who am I kidding? It’s the latter… I’m sure!

Life, is indeed…Good. No matter what. And Imma keep it movin’…

[AutumnLily 77]

What a beautiful post! Looks like a great time was had.

[lsereno 2,525]

Congrats! So many outsiders think WLS is all about fitting in a smaller size, but for those of us who have been stuck in an outsize body for years, we know the real joys! You and your daughter look so happy and joyous- the pictures brought a smile to my face and make this dreaded recovery time easier to bear.

Thank you for sharing your victories with us!

Lynda

[Becca 108]

Such a sweet post! I am so happy for you and your daughter~

[Nancy Rivers 24]

That is so awesome! What a wonderful feeling it must be to be able to do these things with your daughter that you couldn't do before! Congratulations! Thank you for posting.

[Raine 170]

You made me cry. Happy tears of course. I lived that experience with you and am a better person for it. Congratulations! And yes she sure is a mini you...absolutely beautiful.

[Amanda131 214]

Ah Vixen, you're post is especially touching for me. I have my own 3 year old mini-me that was a major influencing factor when I decided to jump off the cliff that is weight loss surgery. Like you, I am slowly discovering the joys of being able to give her more by simply being in a smaller body. I don't know that I'd even realized the full scope of it until I read your post. Thanks for that!

[Penpen 28]

I can feel your excitement as your story goes!!! What an awesome story!!! I'm so proud for you. That is one of the many reasons I want this surgery so bad. I have an almost 8 year old son and I've already sat on the sidelines for too long. Congrats to you and your new found life.

[fairyfaye 9]

Wow what an amazing story! You are amazing!

I am a new member if the sleeve gang just 18 days today and your story made me cry.

I'm not a mummy yet and this is my motivation for doing this but I do have an adorable nephew and I can not wait to be able to ride all the rides at the fair with him!

You look amazing keep rocking that sleeve! X

[coops 1,790]

Hey Vanishingvixen,

I don't normally 'do' emtional... but your story made me emotional!!

What a great post, not only do you feel amazing after your experience with your daughter, you look amazing!

One of the contributing factors of me getting the sleeve was to have a better quality of life with my kids... to be able to keep up with them and enjoy their short lived childhood... thank you for posting this.

[sarsar 824]

This is a post I will never forget, you touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you SO much for sharing! I can't wait to be where you are today with my own children. Absolutely beautiful....

[Dawn 16]

WOOHOO!! Totally made me tear up reading this! I'm SO HAPPY for you that you got that kind of time with your daughter and how Amazing you look and sure feel!!!!

[Brian66 85]

What a great post. I can so identify with everything you wrote.

I am single dad to three kids (16, 11 and 10) after being widowed four years ago and they are the primary reason I decided to have this surgery 11 months ago. I took them to the beach yesterday and could not help but think of how different it was to be there with them this year than in past years. My surgery truly has been a miracle in my life.

Good luck and God bless you as you continue on your journey.

Brian

[dlflightgirl 2]

Truly an inspirational story. I loved reading it and hope I can join you on those rides soon. Thanks for sharing.

[vanishingvixen 40]

Thanks ALL for the kind words and encouragement. Much success and unbounding joy for each of you on the journey ahead. *group hug*