Tough Topic

[sarsar 824]

Okay. First of all, you are not going to die. No one thinks you' re going to die. Your surgeon especially does not think you're going to die, because if he did, why would he operate on you?

The second reason you are not going to die is because I promise you won't. You have the crosswind guarantee that you will not die on that operating table and this is how I know: go read the literature. The chances of death from this surgery are hilariously small. They are overall hiliarously small -- and even smaller given the picture of your current health, comorbidities, etc. If you are significantly overweight, you have a much better chance of waking up tomorrow in the throes of cardiac arrest than you do of dying from this surgery.

People who die from this surgery usually do so later, and the usually do so because the ignore their own symptoms for some outrageous period of time. Any other complication that could result in death is close to zero in likelihood after you get home from the hospital. If you monitor yourself; and something seems wrong -- you go the ER and they patch you up. And you won't die.

Second of all. However you're feeling now, I also give you the Crosswind guarantee that when you get there, they are going to get you so high you are not even going to notice you're gone. I'm obviously a little substance happy personallly, but I had never been under general anesthesia before and I was sort of looking forward to it. There is something intensely, sinfully restful about laying down on a cot and letting the various opiates commence. In fact, everything in my experience prior to the surgery was an "induction" strategy to get me to show up on that table without losing my mind. The night before they told me to party it up, eat whatever I wanted and have some drinks, and then before bed it was 2 mgs ativan; then first thing I get another dreamshot, then another ativan, then...I'm trying to remember what they called the Big Blue Pill, but the point is -- go ahead and worry now because once you get there you are going to notice you suddenly feel perfectly marvelous.

Finally -- when we see dramatic depictions of hospital dramas on television, the patients are *already dying*. So we hear Code Blue and crash cart and all these armchair-clutching tv moments where there is a chance the patient might take off for the hereafter. This is not your situation. You are healthy and you are undergoing elective surgery. People who die from this surgery are already seriously comorbid and are often more at risk the higher their bmi. Write the letter if you need to, but I promise you, you're going home.

Thanks Crosswind! I was cracking up while reading this...thanks for making me laugh. I feel so much better now that I have the crosswind guarantee!

I don't really *think* I am going to die from the surgery, just feeling scared like what if I do? I would feel so sad for my children. But, now that I know I won't die I should be ok!

Also, I cannot wait for the drugs to go into lala land! I am not a drug user but I have been told by many that this feeling is wonderful!

[sarsar 824]

You're going to be in great hands with Dr. Aceves & I echo crosswind in saying you are NOT going to die on the table. He is a great surgeon with many, many VSG operations under his belt and his experience will pay off for you in the long run.

I thought about writing a letter to my children (10 and 7) only because I was worried about my plane crashing. I didn't have one ounce of fear about undergoing surgery. Not a single, solitary bit and this from a woman who lost her dad on the surgical table 7 years ago. He was very sick with heart disease and the operation was extremely risky and we expected complications anyway, but it still leaves a scar. I admit, the first surgery I had after he died scared the crap out of me because I was worried I would never wake up, too, but the happy juice/pill you get really does make you not care. I've had 5 more surgeries since then and the VSG was by far the easiest and least worrisome for me.

Congrats on your surgery!

Thanks! I am feeling a little more at ease after reading everyone's responses! It's funny bc the only fear I have about the surgery if I don't come back for my kids. Other than that nothing scares me about it.

I am sorry about what happened to your dad. Thanks for sharing your story.

[sarsar 824]

Yes if writing a letter gives you some peace of mind do it. I am single no children. I did a living will to make sure my practical efficient nurse cousin didn't pull the plug too soon. I made another cousin the "decider". Hehe. But I made it through in great shape age 62 and BMI of 60. Sounds more like fear of the unknown than fear of surgery per se. Crosswind is right about the very low risk of any complication. If I made it through find at my age and weight, you will too. Wish you peace of mind.

Roseib, thanks for your reply! Wow, that is amazing how wonderful you did with your surgery and your results!

[sarsar 824]

This post brought tears to my eyes. I am struggling with the same feelings. My 3 teenage kids know I'm having surgery and are excited for me. My 7 year old is excited as well...her words "I want to have a healthy mama, but I love you no matter what." I have a 3 year old and the thought of something happening to me terrifies me. I've had several surgeries, some pre-kids and of course I had anxiety, but somehow having children ampliflies that fear of something happening. I had thyroid surgery last summer and went through these feelings, so I should be over it by now.

Know you are not alone in feeling this way. Having this surgery is a huge change in our lives but its one that will be such a wonderful gift to ourselves and our kids.

Hugs

Leanne

Imawhodat, this is my first surgery ever. I have only told our 20 year old daughter. I decided against telling the 11 and 8 year old until I get home. My 8 year old will worry about me the whole time and has been talking about dying so much lately. I know it's just his age and that fear is normal for him at that age but I don't want him to have to have any concern about me while I am gone.

I, too, am so excited about the change this surgery will bring to my life. I cannot wait!

[sarsar 824]

I wrote letters a couple of years ago before my first business trip after my daughter was born. I keep them with my will in our safe. Having those letters gave me a sense a peace before this surgery. I will warn you though that I just about bawled my eyes out when I wrote those letters and I wasn't near as emotional back then as I was right before my surgery. So, be warned that the letter writing, while cathartic just might wring you out emotionally! Best wishes!

Amanda

Amanda, thanks for your thoughts. Since I have been reading what everyone has to say I have even started thinking that it would be good to have letter written just because. I could die at any time and I know that there are much greater chances of my dying doing every day things than there are having surgery! The letter would be a nice thing for the kids to have if I ever die! It's just so morbid to think about. Thanks for your thoughts!