Am I alone in my thinking?

[BlkmikeG 0]

I am scheduled to be banded 6/6 and wondering if anyone has the same wierd thought process as me. Briefly, I am 5'9 372 with two kids and a wife that needs me here on earth, thats my motivation. I am having thoughts and anxiety that I equate to a prisoner that has been incarcerated most of his life and just got a release date. I have been big all my teens and adult life(34 now). Its wierd because I couldnt see myself being thinner kind of like the fat has become my "comfort zone" of sorts. I'm on my liquid diet now and its going pretty good but I just cant stop wondering.....am I alone in my thoughts to any of you pre-sleevers?

[Middlesister57 14]

I was sleeved in December, and I've heard "can't wait to see you when you are a normal weight". This freaks me out, because I have been fat all my life, and what is normal? It's a little scarey to think what or who I will be at a normal weight, and what is normal. Normal for me is fat. I can't think of being anything other than that. I struggle with this. There are several in my support group that have lost over 100 pounds and I just can't imagine them being fat. I hope I have someone say that about me some day.

Good Luck to you.

Lisa

[quints 1]

Are you being sleeved or banded? The trick is to do short term goals. Don't look at the big picture just yet, just take it day to day for the first year, and after that major weight loss, you'll have a new perspective. Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

[BlkmikeG 0]

Oops my bad, meant to put sleeved instead of banded....

Are you being sleeved or banded? The trick is to do short term goals. Don't look at the big picture just yet, just take it day to day for the first year, and after that major weight loss, you'll have a new perspective. Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

[Meandmylittledog 0]

Hi, I'm being sleeved on 6/7 and I understand what you're feeling. I've had weight issues most of my 42 years on earth. I went on Weight Watchers when I was in 3rd grade and maintained a somewhat normal weight until I got to high school and then I lost 20 lbs and was a size 7-9 and weighted 117-120. After high school I ballooned and went up to a size 20, then went down to a 12, then a 14-16, sometimes a 18 but mostly a 14-16 for several years. Then I got married and I was a 12 and then really gained and went up to a 24 which I've been now for 12 years. In the past when I've lost weight or received compliments about looking good it seems to have sabatoged me. I don't understand why. I know what you mean, although I remember vaguely what it was like to be thin I only really know what being an overweight individual is like and the limits that you have because of that. I'm not sure what the answer is. I'm hoping and praying that with this surgery I will finally be able to feel good about my weight loss and not subconsciously sabotage. I don't have self esteem issues (other than the obvious ones of being overweight) so I've always felt happy and good with weight loss. I'm praying that this time will be the end of this rollercoaster I've been on.

Good luck to you and your surgery...we'll figure it out!!

[Day Dreamer 23]

am I alone in my thoughts to any of you pre-sleevers?

Hi Mike,

I don't think you are alone at all - in fact, I know you are not! Most of people (probably all of us) were scared/nervous/worried before surgery. This is a HUGE change in your life and it deserves some serious reflection. You have great motivation - your wife and kids and your health - that motivation will keep you going. You will move past your nerves and realize that this is something ensure your future. Don't be scared or worried.

Hugs,

Heather

[christina420 3]

I am scheduled to be banded 6/6 and wondering if anyone has the same wierd thought process as me. Briefly, I am 5'9 372 with two kids and a wife that needs me here on earth, thats my motivation. I am having thoughts and anxiety that I equate to a prisoner that has been incarcerated most of his life and just got a release date. I have been big all my teens and adult life(34 now). Its wierd because I couldnt see myself being thinner kind of like the fat has become my "comfort zone" of sorts. I'm on my liquid diet now and its going pretty good but I just cant stop wondering.....am I alone in my thoughts to any of you pre-sleevers?

[christina420 3]

You are NOT alone in your thoughts! I felt the same. Being heavy was my excuse for allot of things and I hid behind my fat. Total comfort in the strangest way. Then I said, literally out loud, STOP! enough is enough!!!! Then I got angy at food altogether. Food has controlled me for way to long. There are so many things in this world you Can Not control don't let food and your health be one of them seriously just get pissed off at food get angry punch a pillow what ever it takes but say NO MORE I will Be Healthy! Remember that being heavy can kill you so kick anxietys ass and throw it out of your head and do it for your wife and your children. What's/who's more important than that, right?

[BlkmikeG 0]

thanks everyone for the positive feedback, Im taking it one day at a time I guess and we will see what the future holds....

[1-4-Many 2]

I found this very interesting.

I was thin as a kid. I got fat in my 30's, lost it all in my 40's, then I've gained a bunch back so I decided it was give to surrender and admit that I needed a tool to help me stop the up/down/up/down. In my prep for the surgery, which took way too long, I kept thinking that I only had X number of months left to my sentence until I would be sprung from prison. I sort of think of this time in my life (the first 6 months post sleeve) as being my window of probation.

I'm really looking forward to 2012 when I'll be free.

[treequeen 13]

Nope.. not alone. Being thin is one of my biggest fears. I have no experience what-so-ever. There are a lot of what ifs going on in my brain about it. I may have been normal size at age 4...not that I can remember that. It was 35 years ago. I am looking forwad to being able to wear cloths I actually like. So, trying to look at the positives when the fear strikes is helpful.