female only Am I becoming bulemic?

[Ms Lady in NC 1]

I am trying my best to think good thoughts while dealing with my new sleeve but it is getting to be a handful with an already busy schedule. I know I can't turn back now but I really wish now I would have researched more with actual ppl how eating is after surgery. I know i'm only 6 weeks out but it is so irritating at times how my sleeve controls my life right now. I thank heaven that I do not have hunger or cravings but wish I was able to tolerate food or even shakes better. I eat an egg and can hardly get 2 spoonfuls down, or try tuna, chicken, etc. and it's the same thing. I am not babying my sleeve but hate the need to bring it up so much that I get my Protein from the 3oz shots I drink and may eat once a day praying it will stay down. I feel more and more like eating is another chore and don't enjoy handling that task at all.

I know I have come a long way but really hope eating a couple of spoonfuls is not my permanent way of life. I feel like I am bulemic from the constant need to release what I eat more days than not. I know my stalls are from not eating but when you bring it back up as much as I do, you begin to ignore the "empty" feeling and hope the next day will be better. I went a few days last week problem free but the last few days put me back to square one. Baby food is beginning to get on my nerves but even pureed foods annoy my sleeve at times.

I just feel tired and a bit of resentment that the sleeve I thought was a gift feels more like a curse...

[bilka 6]

I can totally relate to what you're saying. I also thought that the vomiting and all the bad feelings after eating would never go way. Seriously. Then suddenly they left. I could eat nothing, now I manage 6 oz with no problems. I have found out that I don't really tolerate meat anymore (except for baby food), so maybe you too have to find out what food you have now problems with.

Please, don't be angry at your sleeve or at you for having it done. You ARE only 6 weeks out, give it its time. As most of us, you too have probably been mistreating your stomach with terrible food for years, now you should give it time to heal and understand what's going on. I see it that way.

I can tell you I felt so sick after meals every single time that I got sometimes discouraged too. But then it passes. I am 3 months 8 days out and I can say I am totally fine. When you get back to solid food you'll feel more satisfied after meals, I hated fluids and mushies and everything that wasn't solid. I started with very small amounts of solid food (I had to super-chew it) and then bigger amounts. Now I can go out for lunch or dinner with friends without feeling weird and this has been happening in the last 2/3 weeks.

So, please give it time, you won't be eating this little forever.

[iegal 460]

Most likely no, you are not becoming bulemic unles you want to purge food? You are learning how to eat right now and this takes both time and substantial effort on your part. You may be eating to quickly. eggs did not sit well with me at all for several months. You need to make sure you are getting in your liquids and taking a Vitamin. Focus on what you can eat, like refried Beans with cheese. Or try some different on your plan. I never ate baby foods...YUCK. Were you provided a sleeve eating guide with a list of food you can eat during the stages of recovery?

I threw up for a couple of months because I either ate to quickly, did not chew well enough (count to 20 while chewing and then swallow) or ate too much because I did not measure and did not know what full was. Eating might take 20 to 30 minutes now. That is okay since you know your relationship with food is changing.

Chin up, things will get better! Life will the sleeve will improve as you learn and grow. Best wishes for you!

[MegInNOLA 531]

I understand EXACTLY how you feel, because last night I had the worst throwing up session to date after the sleeve--and why? I don't know for sure! I didn't eat too much (less than 1/2 c.), anything not on my list, nor too fast...but sleevie didn't like it, and it was NOT pretty for an hour afterwards. I felt horrible physically and emotionally (I hate to throw up and find it really demoralizing!!). I seem to get sick a lot more frequently than my husband did when he had his sleeve done, which is also frustrating (and yes, I know not to compare, but it's right there!).

I don't know if you did, but I had sincere and fairly long-term buyer's remorse after surgery--I was really, really angry with myself at getting to the point where such measures were necessary, and it felt like (and still does, some days, like last night!) I punished myself by having the surgery. This is so different from a lot of folks here who feel fortunate and grateful--I felt sort of like it was a "do or die" situation (which it was), but I was not happy about it. This is gradually changing for me, as I have a few more "good" days in a row where everything sort of stays down and I learn what to do or not to do. Learning to eat slowly was a challenge. Learning to eat regularly so the acid buildup stays away was a challenge. Learning how to stay hydrated was and is a challenge. Okay. I can do those things. When I mess up, my sleeve helps me learn another way, although much less pleasant. I guess instead of "loving" my sleeve, at this point, I "respect" my sleeve, and I can definitely build on that.

You and I are going to have to stick to our plan and just take things more slowly than some other folks. There's nothing wrong with that--I, too, am ready to go to lunch with friends and have "normal" food and "normal" life, and those things will come when my sleeve is ready for them. This morning, I ate 1/4 c. of Malt-o-meal, which I love and which my sleeve barely notices, and it felt warm and soothing. Later, I'm going to have to try to get my Protein in, and I'm going to use Greek yogurt and some cheese crisps, both of which my sleeve tolerates well. Protein shakes are NOT tolerated well, but zapped up chicken chili is... etc. I'll be well under goal for calories/protein for the day, but that's okay, too. Everything is going to come out all right in the end.

Hang in there--I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm there, too!! But it seems like it's one of those "two steps forward, one step back" things for us. Just keep coming here for support and empathy--that's what I do when I'm having a horrible day!!

Best wishes--

Meg

[Ms Lady in NC 1]

I can totally relate to what you're saying. I also thought that the vomiting and all the bad feelings after eating would never go way. Seriously. Then suddenly they left. I could eat nothing, now I manage 6 oz with no problems. I have found out that I don't really tolerate meat anymore (except for baby food), so maybe you too have to find out what food you have now problems with.

Please, don't be angry at your sleeve or at you for having it done. You ARE only 6 weeks out, give it its time. As most of us, you too have probably been mistreating your stomach with terrible food for years, now you should give it time to heal and understand what's going on. I see it that way.

I can tell you I felt so sick after meals every single time that I got sometimes discouraged too. But then it passes. I am 3 months 8 days out and I can say I am totally fine. When you get back to solid food you'll feel more satisfied after meals, I hated fluids and mushies and everything that wasn't solid. I started with very small amounts of solid food (I had to super-chew it) and then bigger amounts. Now I can go out for lunch or dinner with friends without feeling weird and this has been happening in the last 2/3 weeks.

So, please give it time, you won't be eating this little forever.

Most likely no, you are not becoming bulemic unles you want to purge food? You are learning how to eat right now and this takes both time and substantial effort on your part. You may be eating to quickly. eggs did not sit well with me at all for several months. You need to make sure you are getting in your liquids and taking a Vitamin. Focus on what you can eat, like refried Beans with cheese. Or try some different on your plan. I never ate baby foods...YUCK. Were you provided a sleeve eating guide with a list of food you can eat during the stages of recovery?

I threw up for a couple of months because I either ate to quickly, did not chew well enough (count to 20 while chewing and then swallow) or ate too much because I did not measure and did not know what full was. Eating might take 20 to 30 minutes now. That is okay since you know your relationship with food is changing.

Chin up, things will get better! Life will the sleeve will improve as you learn and grow. Best wishes for you!

I understand EXACTLY how you feel, because last night I had the worst throwing up session to date after the sleeve--and why? I don't know for sure! I didn't eat too much (less than 1/2 c.), anything not on my list, nor too fast...but sleevie didn't like it, and it was NOT pretty for an hour afterwards. I felt horrible physically and emotionally (I hate to throw up and find it really demoralizing!!). I seem to get sick a lot more frequently than my husband did when he had his sleeve done, which is also frustrating (and yes, I know not to compare, but it's right there!).

I don't know if you did, but I had sincere and fairly long-term buyer's remorse after surgery--I was really, really angry with myself at getting to the point where such measures were necessary, and it felt like (and still does, some days, like last night!) I punished myself by having the surgery. This is so different from a lot of folks here who feel fortunate and grateful--I felt sort of like it was a "do or die" situation (which it was), but I was not happy about it. This is gradually changing for me, as I have a few more "good" days in a row where everything sort of stays down and I learn what to do or not to do. Learning to eat slowly was a challenge. Learning to eat regularly so the acid buildup stays away was a challenge. Learning how to stay hydrated was and is a challenge. Okay. I can do those things. When I mess up, my sleeve helps me learn another way, although much less pleasant. I guess instead of "loving" my sleeve, at this point, I "respect" my sleeve, and I can definitely build on that.

You and I are going to have to stick to our plan and just take things more slowly than some other folks. There's nothing wrong with that--I, too, am ready to go to lunch with friends and have "normal" food and "normal" life, and those things will come when my sleeve is ready for them. This morning, I ate 1/4 c. of Malt-o-meal, which I love and which my sleeve barely notices, and it felt warm and soothing. Later, I'm going to have to try to get my Protein in, and I'm going to use Greek yogurt and some cheese crisps, both of which my sleeve tolerates well. Protein shakes are NOT tolerated well, but zapped up chicken chili is... etc. I'll be well under goal for calories/protein for the day, but that's okay, too. Everything is going to come out all right in the end.

Hang in there--I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm there, too!! But it seems like it's one of those "two steps forward, one step back" things for us. Just keep coming here for support and empathy--that's what I do when I'm having a horrible day!!

Best wishes--

Meg

I actually am surprised to hear how there are similarities to my problems but so glad someone understands! As Meg said, it is a bit like taking steps back and forth. Just hope I too will become closer to "normal" again.

Iegal, I have learned to watch what I eat and to be sure to take my time while eating. I am not a big fan of refried Beans but cheese cubes are a treat ev now and then. I guess I will stick with my baby food and Soups for a bit longer and try meat once a week like I have been doing lately.

Bilka, I felt so bad today when I went out to a business lunch and had to eat the way I did. I hate having to explain why I eat so little to people but as you all have said, soon I will be able to like others so my head will not hanag down to much longer.

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words and wishes. Can't wait to be able to say I too love my sleeve like some. But for now, I am in agreeance with the respecting it.

[thinoneday 445]

I am trying my best to think good thoughts while dealing with my new sleeve but it is getting to be a handful with an already busy schedule. I know I can't turn back now but I really wish now I would have researched more with actual ppl how eating is after surgery. I know i'm only 6 weeks out but it is so irritating at times how my sleeve controls my life right now. I thank heaven that I do not have hunger or cravings but wish I was able to tolerate food or even shakes better. I eat an egg and can hardly get 2 spoonfuls down, or try tuna, chicken, etc. and it's the same thing. I am not babying my sleeve but hate the need to bring it up so much that I get my Protein from the 3oz shots I drink and may eat once a day praying it will stay down. I feel more and more like eating is another chore and don't enjoy handling that task at all.

I know I have come a long way but really hope eating a couple of spoonfuls is not my permanent way of life. I feel like I am bulemic from the constant need to release what I eat more days than not. I know my stalls are from not eating but when you bring it back up as much as I do, you begin to ignore the "empty" feeling and hope the next day will be better. I went a few days last week problem free but the last few days put me back to square one. Baby food is beginning to get on my nerves but even pureed foods annoy my sleeve at times.

I just feel tired and a bit of resentment that the sleeve I thought was a gift feels more like a curse...

hey, i'm feeling your mood girl! I'm almost 2 years out and let me tell you. . . in the beginning man this was the best thing ever, I was happy that i was losing so much weight and feeling so in control. . . then after the 13th month i think things started to change. My weight loss stopped and stabled out. I now wear a 16 and at 6.0 tall I look pretty good, hardly any loose skin, no wrinkles, no troubles. . . you would think i should be happier then a looney toon. . . nope, now i resent my sleeve. Now i would like to be able to go out to eat and not just order a stupid appetizer and then yet ask for a dumb take out box cause i can't finish it. . . . i would love to enjoy a nice sunday Breakfast with my hubbie, but on no I can eat maybe 1/2 egg and 1 strip of bacon (if that) then have to wait 30 minutes before the coffee cause otherwise the sliming starts. . . errrrkkkkkk. . . .I was telling hubbie that and he said, you could have done it by yourself you know. . . i told him very calmly that that was not going to happen cause otherwise i would of been able to do that and not weigh 350lbs. . . we both laughed it off and i will just carry on. . . but i totally understand how you feel. . . i really feel that way too. . . but oh well. . . we will just carry on and do the best we can right???

[Ms Lady in NC 1]

hey, i'm feeling your mood girl! I'm almost 2 years out and let me tell you. . . in the beginning man this was the best thing ever, I was happy that i was losing so much weight and feeling so in control. . . then after the 13th month i think things started to change. My weight loss stopped and stabled out. I now wear a 16 and at 6.0 tall I look pretty good, hardly any loose skin, no wrinkles, no troubles. . . you would think i should be happier then a looney toon. . . nope, now i resent my sleeve. Now i would like to be able to go out to eat and not just order a stupid appetizer and then yet ask for a dumb take out box cause i can't finish it. . . . i would love to enjoy a nice sunday Breakfast with my hubbie, but on no I can eat maybe 1/2 egg and 1 strip of bacon (if that) then have to wait 30 minutes before the coffee cause otherwise the sliming starts. . . errrrkkkkkk. . . .I was telling hubbie that and he said, you could have done it by yourself you know. . . i told him very calmly that that was not going to happen cause otherwise i would of been able to do that and not weigh 350lbs. . . we both laughed it off and i will just carry on. . . but i totally understand how you feel. . . i really feel that way too. . . but oh well. . . we will just carry on and do the best we can right???

We are the same height and almost the same staring weight(I was 330) but my goal is to be no more than 180 or 200 lbs. I could live with being a size 16 but not eating so little the rest of my life. Like you, I do want to eat like regular people or close to them and not like a bird. As for the slimes, I all too well understand!!! Hubby thinks the same thing as yours and I tell him at least I am not hungry or have a feeling of depriving myself. Please don't tell me my 4oz stomach will always be a 1/2 egg and strip of bacon meal I was hoping I would be able to eat a bit more. Maybe I should have agreed to the larger sleeve like my coordinator.

Why have you stalled? My doc said I should see at least a 150 pound loss. I will be happy to see 100 but no less. I would consider it a failure and hate that I didn't have the DS like I wanted...

[chilo1 62]

I am trying my best to think good thoughts while dealing with my new sleeve but it is getting to be a handful with an already busy schedule. I know I can't turn back now but I really wish now I would have researched more with actual ppl how eating is after surgery. I know i'm only 6 weeks out but it is so irritating at times how my sleeve controls my life right now. I thank heaven that I do not have hunger or cravings but wish I was able to tolerate food or even shakes better. I eat an egg and can hardly get 2 spoonfuls down, or try tuna, chicken, etc. and it's the same thing. I am not babying my sleeve but hate the need to bring it up so much that I get my Protein from the 3oz shots I drink and may eat once a day praying it will stay down. I feel more and more like eating is another chore and don't enjoy handling that task at all.

I know I have come a long way but really hope eating a couple of spoonfuls is not my permanent way of life. I feel like I am bulemic from the constant need to release what I eat more days than not. I know my stalls are from not eating but when you bring it back up as much as I do, you begin to ignore the "empty" feeling and hope the next day will be better. I went a few days last week problem free but the last few days put me back to square one. Baby food is beginning to get on my nerves but even pureed foods annoy my sleeve at times.

I just feel tired and a bit of resentment that the sleeve I thought was a gift feels more like a curse...

I am 10 months out and the weight loss has stopped, still hoping to lose the 9 lbs to goal, but I am enjoying having my sleeve so much! I can each mucmore now than when I was 4-5 months out, I can have 2 eggs and a piece of toast for breakfast, a chicken or tuna salad for lunch, just to give you an idea of how "normally" I can eat. Last night I went out for dinner with friends who don't know I'm sleeved and nobody even noticed me eating differently. I had a crab and avocado starter, of which I ate all the crab and most of the avocado and for mains I had seafood risotto, I had the seafood and hardly any rice cause I was full by the time I finished the seafood trying to get my Protein in first. (This is England though and portions are much much smaller than in the States!) Just take it easy, eat what you can and find foods that aren't too hard on your tummy. At 6 weeks out I couldn't eat much either, so I would say make the most of it now and lose all the weight you can because in a few months time it's bound to be very different!

[hugsamber 8]

I struggled for awhile and to be truthful, I still struggle. It is just a little easier. For the first 3 months, I would either eat a bite too much, too fast or too big of bites. What happened? Vomitting. My boyfriend started calling me the princess and the puke. I could not get my head around the fact that I could only eat a couple of bites of food. I didn't realize my full signal until it was too late. Though my tummy has gotten a bit bigger or the swelling went down, I am able to eat a bit more. But not much. I can eat one egg and one piece of bacon but sometimes not even that. I'm about 5.5 months out. When I have a cold, my tummy is really sensitive and I vomit easily. I think its the mucus of the cold though. Vomitting is not fun, its not heathly to continue to eat too fast, too much or too large of bites. I think it takes time for us to mentally adjust. I don't think that I have a dangerous problem, I believe that I am still learning how to use the tool I was given. On another note, eating out at restaurants does suck. I have to drink before my meal arrives and then after a couple of bites my boyfriend either finishes it off or I have to take it home. The problem with this is that eating out is social. My friends then talk and drink after dinner but I am too full! I think in time though all things will get easier. I know that every month has gotten better for me.