My thoughts and experience 8 wks post op

[BigTom 1]

Hello everyone. I know everyone probably has a different experience, but I need to share mine. I hope this will be helpful for those who have not had the surgery yet and in no way am I trying to influence anyone either way. I simply wish I would have really understood what my new life would be before I rushed into this. I am sure I still would have had the surgery, but I think I would have been better prepared. Take from this what you will, but I do hope it is helpful.

Insurance was not an option for me. My insurance does not cover the procedure under any circumstances. I had gotten up to 375 lbs. I was literally twice the man my wife married 25 years ago. My health was starting to decline and I could really feel the weight I was carrying. I had always been athletic growing up and until my 30's. I suffered a hip injury at 32 that basically rendered me unable to do much at all for a year and a half. During that time I went from 190 lbs to over 250. Once I recovered I just kept gaining weight. I love to eat and basically lived to eat. I ate out at lunch time 5 days per week and would eat to the point I felt miserable, but boy I liked that feeling. I could eat food that tastes good even when I wasn't hungry, I would eat it simply because it tasted good. I guess by now you can see why I got up to 375. I guess I was actually lucky I wasn't even more.

One day in December I was at an appointment with my General Practitioner and I told her I had to do something about my weight. I had tried diets and to be honest, I was just past the point of wanting to be hungry and refused to do the diet thing. I wanted her to give me a pill or something to make me not eat. Due to my high blood pressure there was no way she was going to give me diet pills. She talked to me about the sleeve and suggested a surgeon. She arranged an appointment for me and I went to see the surgeon. We spent an hour or so discussing what my desires were and why I wanted to lose weight. I told him I felt my quality of life was going to very low within the next 10 years if I wasn't dead. My weight was causing me sleep problems, I woke up hurting all over, I was always sleepy, I couldn't walk very far at all without being out of breath, and had no energy. We discussed Bi-pass which he stated he would not do on anyone under 600 lbs, gastric sleeve, and lap band. He told me of the pros and cons to all three. I have known people who had lap band and all of them lost weight for a little while then gained it all back because they didn't go back to follow up on getting them adjusted. I decided I thought the sleeve would work best for me and he told me to think about it a little while and call when I felt I was ready. The cost of the surgery would be 13000.00.

After my visit with him I discussed it with my wife and thought about it for a couple weeks. I talked with a couple people who had had the surgery and decided I was ready. I contacted my Dr and set up my Pre Op appointment. He placed me on a pre op diet two weeks before the surgery and I lost 25 lbs on that diet. I had surgery on March 17th, a Thursday, and it hurt way more than I thought it would have. I ended up spending two days in the hospital because I thought I was having bad nausea. It turned out I was hungry, LOL. When ever I would even try to drink the liquids I would throw up. It wasn't until being home a few days that I figured out the new hunger feeling was not nausea at all.

I did the whole liquid diet thing for a couple weeks and it sucked. I was wanting to eat something with some taste and texture until I was told I could move to more solid food, after about two weeks. The papers I was given when I left the hospital said I could eat soft boiled eggs, tuna fish, chicken salad chopped fine among other things. My experience was that when I would eat these things they tended to feel like they were coming back up in my throat. I was belching all the time when eating. I had to return to liquids for a little longer. At this point I have been told I can eat pretty much whatever I want and there is the problem.

I want to make it clear that since the surgery hunger is not really a problem. Yes, you will know when you need to eat, but it is nothing like before the surgery. I tend to feel a little nauseous when I am hungry. That is the only way I can describe it. That may not be accurate, but it is the best I can come up with. I am only able to eat a very small portion. There is no multi coarse meal just one whatever. The need for Protein pretty much means you eat some form of meat or Beans. When I am able to actually able to eat a serving size portion of meat there is no room for anything else. I am finding this to be very boring and frustrating. My surgeon has suggested I eat some type of vegetable about an hour or so before I eat my protein at night. I have not done that yet because he just told me this on Wednesday and I had a handful of boiled shrimp last night so I will be trying it out this weekend.

****Here is the important part of my ramblings. The mental aspect of the surgery is the worst thing. I miss food and I get depressed when I think about the fact I will never again be able to eat to my satisfaction point. I long for the foods I can no longer eat. I eat too fast most of the time and the penalty for that is throwing up. I am tired of puking and I guess at some point I will learn to slow down when I eat. Also if you overeat you will be visiting the toilet to puke. This surgery is not a magic bullet. It is not a sprint, but a marathon. Yes, You will lose a good bit of weight in a short period of time, but it is still going to be a battle to get it all off. Research this fully before you decide to do this and understand this is a lifetime change. You will never be able to go back to the eating habits of your past unlike lap band seems to do. Be prepared for this because it is forever.

Now to end on a good note. I am very pleased to say I saw my GP this week and was taken off two medications completely. My blood pressure medication I was taking twice per day was cut back to once a day. I am looking forward to getting off of it completely. I really hope this post helps you and prepares you. Again, this is not an easy way out, but a jump start to a new lifestyle. Good luck to you all and God Bless.

[Beadingnurse 116]

Tom, thanks for sharing your story! It is important information for everyone to consider and it underscores how much "mental" hunger and/or our food addictions can still cause problem after the surgery. That is where part of your work is going to need to be at and it is okay to mourn the loss you have had in your life. food has been the best friend and a great source of comfort for many people. It might be worth the time and money to see a counselor to talk about the role that food and the feeling of being stuffed played for you. I have no doubt that you will eventually find a way to live with this sleeve and be happy but it is okay for it to take you awhile and to be sad over your loss.

Learning to eat with the sleeve is the other big work we have facing us and I too struggle with this. I threw up in a restaurant bathroom at lunch today because I met friends there and ate too fast. I don't think they knew that I lost my lunch but it is embarrasing and annoying that a reasonable smart person like I think I am can't SLOW DOWN! I ate so little food but clearly it was too much and too fast. I did the same thing at about 2 weeks out but have been really good this past week. Going to eat with friends was probably too much of a distraction. I am sure though that we WILL learn to eat comfortably with our new stomachs but until then it is slow going.

Good luck with your journey and keep us posted!!

[Janae 12]

bigTom,

Tthank you so much for your honesty. I was sleeved on 3/10 and had similar feelings for the first 4 weeks or so. However, now that I am fully recovered from the surgery itself, I can honestly say that I no longer wake up with a multitude of aches and pains. I have a lot more energy than before surgery and have started walking for exercise. I sincerely hope you too pass through the "mourning phase." It has been hard giving up my good friends, processed carbohydrates, but I feel I am over the hump and looking forward to a better life. Don't get me wrong, I still slip up ocassionally, and have a long way to go. I just don't think about the way I used to eat in the same light anymore. Best of luck to you on your journey!

[MeMeMEEE 206]

Thanks for sharing! I do have insurance for it so many of the "hoops" are counseling and nutrition appointments and I am praying they have prepared me well!

[kellyw74 258]

Thank you for sharing your story!!

It is always nice to hear the "BAD" stuff too. So many stories out there are so great and we forget that there are people that struggle as well.

Good luck to you!!

Kelly

[ldydrgnkpr 49]

I don't experience hunger, nor do I crave certain types of food anymore. I gave up mtn. dew and pepsi, dr.pepper last summer when I decided to look into WLS. After surgery I was a little sore. No real "Pain" to speak of. I do manage to eat 70 grams of Protein a day. And a very small amount of vegetables. It is a lifestyle change. You have to be aware of what is expected of you in order to succeed. This is no magic bullet, fix whatever you want to call it. You have to work at it. Sure sometimes I do not feel like doing my 20 minutes of cardio or my 20 minutes of weight lifting. But I do. Why? Because it makes me feel so much better. I understood what I was getting into. I researched night and day. Watched videos of the surgery. Do I regret it? No I do not. Would I do it again? Yes, In a New York minute. I love my sleeve. No regrets at all!!!!!

Best wishes & Good luck on your journey

Deb

[BigTom 1]

Thanks for the replies and well wishes. I am thinking about seeing a counselor just to have someone to talk to. It is difficult to talk to my wife because she hasn't had the surgery and don't really understand. I would not say I regret the surgery at all, but I wish I had been better prepared mentally. I am also happy to report that this evening I put on some blue jeans that are three sizes smaller than what I was wearing before pre op diet. No one can complain about that kind of results. I hope no one is offended by anything I said because that was not the point. I have just found too often the posts here do not reflect the bad and we all know there is bad that goes with this. I also failed to mention the embarrassment of occasionally going out to eat and people seeing a guy my size only eating a very small portion. I avoid eating out, but there are simply times I have no choice. I guess that is one more thing for me to work on because I shouldn't worry about what people think. Thanks again for your comments.

[dishdiva 5]

BT, I'm a lot like you. As I gained weight, food became an obsession for me. It's taken me a long time to say this, but I am a compulsive overeater. I think talking to a counselor is a great idea. I have planned, as part of my recovery, to give Overeaters Anonymous another try. I haven't been in about 10 years. It's just another tool, the way I see it, to help me with the sleeve. There are also other programs that are NOT OA that can help, and many counselors who specialize in emotional eating disorders -- of which we all are. Very few people, I've found, become obese or morbidly obese just because the "like" food. We "use" food to medicate. And the food manufacturers happened to have made the tastiest foods very addictive, insuring that we'll continue to buy their drugs. You can and will overcome this, I know. You give me hope -- since I'm only a week into my sleeve and already craving, craving, craving. Best wishes for success.

[ldydrgnkpr 49]

Thanks for the replies and well wishes. I am thinking about seeing a counselor just to have someone to talk to. It is difficult to talk to my wife because she hasn't had the surgery and don't really understand. I would not say I regret the surgery at all, but I wish I had been better prepared mentally. I am also happy to report that this evening I put on some blue jeans that are three sizes smaller than what I was wearing before pre op diet. No one can complain about that kind of results. I hope no one is offended by anything I said because that was not the point. I have just found too often the posts here do not reflect the bad and we all know there is bad that goes with this. I also failed to mention the embarrassment of occasionally going out to eat and people seeing a guy my size only eating a very small portion. I avoid eating out, but there are simply times I have no choice. I guess that is one more thing for me to work on because I shouldn't worry about what people think. Thanks again for your comments.

So happy about the jeans. Thats just wonderful.

I agree that there is bad with the good. But for me the good out numbers the bad. My weight at pre op was 234 my weight today is 198 and 5 1'. I am what is considered by my surgeon a "lite weight" But my BMI was 44. So to me I wasn't a lite weight by no means. I did hit a stall at three weeks that lasted three weeks. I just cleared that hurddle. So the frustration that goes along with it is there. I do struggle with decisions that I make everyday when preparing my lunch for work. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. So I stick with Protein first. Generally I barely have room for carbs. I do try to squeeze in a brussle sprout. My husband has not had WLS either. He does his best to encourage me with my decision to have had WLS. He has been there the whole time. It does help to have a cheerleader on your side. He works out with me. We take turns on the treadmill, spot each other when lifting weights. I haven't eaten out yet. I guess that will be when I'm ready. I do get strange looks at work when I am eating. A big girl eating small pieces of chicken cut into tiny squares. Then the giant bottle of Water I carry around all day. They were so use to seeing me eat junk food, sodas, chips. All day everyday at my desk. So yeah I have done a complete 360 on my lifestyle. For the better, So yes it can be frustrating. There is no going back for me. I will never allow myself to fall back into unhealthy habits again. The sleeve has made see why I eat.

I do wish you the very best on your journey.

Deb

[BigTom 1]

So happy about the jeans. Thats just wonderful.

I agree that there is bad with the good. But for me the good out numbers the bad. My weight at pre op was 234 my weight today is 198 and 5 1'. I am what is considered by my surgeon a "lite weight" But my BMI was 44. So to me I wasn't a lite weight by no means. I did hit a stall at three weeks that lasted three weeks. I just cleared that hurddle. So the frustration that goes along with it is there. I do struggle with decisions that I make everyday when preparing my lunch for work. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. So I stick with Protein first. Generally I barely have room for carbs. I do try to squeeze in a brussle sprout. My husband has not had WLS either. He does his best to encourage me with my decision to have had WLS. He has been there the whole time. It does help to have a cheerleader on your side. He works out with me. We take turns on the treadmill, spot each other when lifting weights. I haven't eaten out yet. I guess that will be when I'm ready. I do get strange looks at work when I am eating. A big girl eating small pieces of chicken cut into tiny squares. Then the giant bottle of Water I carry around all day. They were so use to seeing me eat junk food, sodas, chips. All day everyday at my desk. So yeah I have done a complete 360 on my lifestyle. For the better, So yes it can be frustrating. There is no going back for me. I will never allow myself to fall back into unhealthy habits again. The sleeve has made see why I eat.

I do wish you the very best on your journey.

Deb

Thanks Deb. I am glad I had the surgery, but I am not at the point where I think it is the best thing ever. I would have loved to be bale to do it without the surgery, but I know I wouldn't have. I think that is something I allow to bother me too. I just felt yesterday I needed to vent a little and get some of these feeling out there. I also would love for those who are thinking about this will really prepare themselves because this is a major change to your body. This website is a God send because we can share with those who have been where we are. I know it is all going to be ok, but I know I will have those days when I beat myself up over allowing myself to get to the weight I was and then not being able to get it off. I guess that is just part of it for me. Again, I am so glad I have support here and everyone is willing to share and lift you up.

[1-4-Many 2]

Tom:

I was almost 18 months getting myself ready for this and I still have had moments of regret. You know what has been hard for me from day one? Reading all the posts of people who are joyful and celebratory about not being able to eat any quantity of food anymore. That honestly just does not make sense to me. It seems to me that if you have that personality to begin with, you shouldn't have overeaten but obviously that's not the case. My entire problem was that I liked to eat and didn't want to give it up. So I had to work through that process. Everyone is different.

If it helps, try to think in the future instead of today. I think about what next New Year's eve will be like for me. Instead of being here at home, I'm going out. I'm not a drinker but I am going somewhere that I will be able to dance. Today I can barely walk. That mental image of what my future will be like takes away some of the sting.

I'm doing very well mentally. I don't know if I was just "ready" or it hasn't hit me yet. I've had no trouble staying with eating slow and staying on full liquid. It's boring but not difficult. I worry because I still feel hunger. Real hunger, not head hunger as would be suggested. It's the type of thing I think will be fine when I can get to solid food because just one or two bites feels like it would be enough. But after about 4 weeks of nothing but liquid, from full to clear to full, I am just empty. The fact that I haven't gone to the bathroom in 2 weeks (and not constipated) pretty much tells me I"m empty.

I think seeing someone is a great idea. But remember, as you lose weight your world is going to open to new opportunities. Think about things you'd like to do when you are thinner and plan for them. If you try and build that new life, food will take on less and less importance.

Good luck. You are a perfect example of why those people who think this is the "easy way out" are fools.

[Viola 15]

I find myself grieving food. I miss it, the chewing, the flavor etc. I ate even when I wasn't hungry just because I liked the taste. I'm 7 days post op and I feel sad sometimes when I'm making dinner or baking Cookies with the kids. I had read about the "head hunger" thing but I thought that won't be me...etc. I tried talking to my sister about it but I could that something in her tone that was not pleased that I had said that I wanted to eat food and that I missed food....I had to explain that I just miss it is all and that my body needed to learn to eat again. Its had to explain what I'm feeling right now. Thanks Tom for putting yourself out there and being honest about something that is hard to face.

[rsr53 1]

Hi, Tom! Thank you for your posted story. I am about to get my VSG very soon. It will be revision surgery to my RNY I had 10 yrs ago. I hear you on the commitment needs!! I am highly allergic to blood pressure meds, so weight management is my lifetime commitment. Sometimes we are never fully prepared for these matters of surgery no matter how much or how hard we try. I also love good food, but find that my relationships to it and socially are not as important as the physical well being nutrition and healthy lifestyles bring to an image. I am seeking new work, so it is imperative to be strong and healthy. Looks to matter to the workplace, no matter what field you are in. I am a schoolteacher, so you imagine well the need to support good health and mental wellbeing. You are well on your way to happier times with friends, family, and your work!! Good luck and God Bless! RSR53

Hello everyone. I know everyone probably has a different experience, but I need to share mine. I hope this will be helpful for those who have not had the surgery yet and in no way am I trying to influence anyone either way. I simply wish I would have really understood what my new life would be before I rushed into this. I am sure I still would have had the surgery, but I think I would have been better prepared. Take from this what you will, but I do hope it is helpful.

Insurance was not an option for me. My insurance does not cover the procedure under any circumstances. I had gotten up to 375 lbs. I was literally twice the man my wife married 25 years ago. My health was starting to decline and I could really feel the weight I was carrying. I had always been athletic growing up and until my 30's. I suffered a hip injury at 32 that basically rendered me unable to do much at all for a year and a half. During that time I went from 190 lbs to over 250. Once I recovered I just kept gaining weight. I love to eat and basically lived to eat. I ate out at lunch time 5 days per week and would eat to the point I felt miserable, but boy I liked that feeling. I could eat food that tastes good even when I wasn't hungry, I would eat it simply because it tasted good. I guess by now you can see why I got up to 375. I guess I was actually lucky I wasn't even more.

One day in December I was at an appointment with my General Practitioner and I told her I had to do something about my weight. I had tried diets and to be honest, I was just past the point of wanting to be hungry and refused to do the diet thing. I wanted her to give me a pill or something to make me not eat. Due to my high blood pressure there was no way she was going to give me diet pills. She talked to me about the sleeve and suggested a surgeon. She arranged an appointment for me and I went to see the surgeon. We spent an hour or so discussing what my desires were and why I wanted to lose weight. I told him I felt my quality of life was going to very low within the next 10 years if I wasn't dead. My weight was causing me sleep problems, I woke up hurting all over, I was always sleepy, I couldn't walk very far at all without being out of breath, and had no energy. We discussed Bi-pass which he stated he would not do on anyone under 600 lbs, gastric sleeve, and lap band. He told me of the pros and cons to all three. I have known people who had lap band and all of them lost weight for a little while then gained it all back because they didn't go back to follow up on getting them adjusted. I decided I thought the sleeve would work best for me and he told me to think about it a little while and call when I felt I was ready. The cost of the surgery would be 13000.00.

After my visit with him I discussed it with my wife and thought about it for a couple weeks. I talked with a couple people who had had the surgery and decided I was ready. I contacted my Dr and set up my Pre Op appointment. He placed me on a pre op diet two weeks before the surgery and I lost 25 lbs on that diet. I had surgery on March 17th, a Thursday, and it hurt way more than I thought it would have. I ended up spending two days in the hospital because I thought I was having bad nausea. It turned out I was hungry, LOL. When ever I would even try to drink the liquids I would throw up. It wasn't until being home a few days that I figured out the new hunger feeling was not nausea at all.

I did the whole liquid diet thing for a couple weeks and it sucked. I was wanting to eat something with some taste and texture until I was told I could move to more solid food, after about two weeks. The papers I was given when I left the hospital said I could eat soft boiled eggs, tuna fish, chicken salad chopped fine among other things. My experience was that when I would eat these things they tended to feel like they were coming back up in my throat. I was belching all the time when eating. I had to return to liquids for a little longer. At this point I have been told I can eat pretty much whatever I want and there is the problem.

I want to make it clear that since the surgery hunger is not really a problem. Yes, you will know when you need to eat, but it is nothing like before the surgery. I tend to feel a little nauseous when I am hungry. That is the only way I can describe it. That may not be accurate, but it is the best I can come up with. I am only able to eat a very small portion. There is no multi coarse meal just one whatever. The need for Protein pretty much means you eat some form of meat or Beans. When I am able to actually able to eat a serving size portion of meat there is no room for anything else. I am finding this to be very boring and frustrating. My surgeon has suggested I eat some type of vegetable about an hour or so before I eat my Protein at night. I have not done that yet because he just told me this on Wednesday and I had a handful of boiled shrimp last night so I will be trying it out this weekend.

****Here is the important part of my ramblings. The mental aspect of the surgery is the worst thing. I miss food and I get depressed when I think about the fact I will never again be able to eat to my satisfaction point. I long for the foods I can no longer eat. I eat too fast most of the time and the penalty for that is throwing up. I am tired of puking and I guess at some point I will learn to slow down when I eat. Also if you overeat you will be visiting the toilet to puke. This surgery is not a magic bullet. It is not a sprint, but a marathon. Yes, You will lose a good bit of weight in a short period of time, but it is still going to be a battle to get it all off. Research this fully before you decide to do this and understand this is a lifetime change. You will never be able to go back to the eating habits of your past unlike lap band seems to do. Be prepared for this because it is forever.

Now to end on a good note. I am very pleased to say I saw my GP this week and was taken off two medications completely. My blood pressure medication I was taking twice per day was cut back to once a day. I am looking forward to getting off of it completely. I really hope this post helps you and prepares you. Again, this is not an easy way out, but a jump start to a new lifestyle. Good luck to you all and God Bless.

[rsr53 1]

I am happy for Tom, too!! You are doing great, too!! Looking forward to my surgery very soon!! Take care. RSR53

So happy about the jeans. Thats just wonderful.

I agree that there is bad with the good. But for me the good out numbers the bad. My weight at pre op was 234 my weight today is 198 and 5 1'. I am what is considered by my surgeon a "lite weight" But my BMI was 44. So to me I wasn't a lite weight by no means. I did hit a stall at three weeks that lasted three weeks. I just cleared that hurddle. So the frustration that goes along with it is there. I do struggle with decisions that I make everyday when preparing my lunch for work. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. So I stick with Protein first. Generally I barely have room for carbs. I do try to squeeze in a brussle sprout. My husband has not had WLS either. He does his best to encourage me with my decision to have had WLS. He has been there the whole time. It does help to have a cheerleader on your side. He works out with me. We take turns on the treadmill, spot each other when lifting weights. I haven't eaten out yet. I guess that will be when I'm ready. I do get strange looks at work when I am eating. A big girl eating small pieces of chicken cut into tiny squares. Then the giant bottle of Water I carry around all day. They were so use to seeing me eat junk food, sodas, chips. All day everyday at my desk. So yeah I have done a complete 360 on my lifestyle. For the better, So yes it can be frustrating. There is no going back for me. I will never allow myself to fall back into unhealthy habits again. The sleeve has made see why I eat.

I do wish you the very best on your journey.

Deb