Negative WLS peers

[Browneyedsouljah 5]

Well I passed my Psych evaluation yesterday. I also started the three month diet and exercise program. So Now I wait for three months and then I am scheduled for surgery. I called my friend who had the bypass in late December hoping she would be a good support source and she was totally negative. She has had complications but should be accountable for some of them. First i think she rushed into surgery and decided to have the procedure that she could loose the most weight on. Second, I dont think she told the truth about her medical history as she has had several surgeries from previous accidents and has needed and steroroids. That is why she was big to begin with and she slound not have has the bypass with that history. So now she had the bypass, and then got her gall bladder out and they just told her she needs to have her pouch made larger. She called me begging me to leave my nutrition appoinment and not to get this done saying I dont need it. That her hair is falling out in handfuls and she is so weak all the time and regrets her choice. I was so mad! I feel like if she would drink the Water, eat the right foods, exercise, and take her suppliments she would feel differently. She has lost almost 100 pounds and isnt complaining about that! I dont care if she cant eat chipoltle anymore..we shouldnt eat that anyway. I am not doing this to be skinny! Is is not an easy out for me!This is for my lasting health! My dad died at 50 years old. i do not want the same fat and thats my motivation for this. i also hold myself accountable for my failures as well as my successes and I feel like those who don't should not be on here or in the community dissing people who are considering WLS. I care about my friend but she is not helping herself by eating the same crap foods and not drinking water. I advised her she needs to get her Vitamins in some how and she just said they are gross and she refused to take them. So i feel like its your choice just like this is mine, just dont discourage me because you arent taking advantage of this...SHHHHHEWW!! That is off my chest now!

[ybnormal 21]

I think sometimes the people that have already had wls vs those of us that haven't yet had it is sometimes bad. I have no idea why, but I've met with alot of negativity and I just quietly walk away. To be honesty, its not worth my time or energy and I'm not interested in a pissing contest or a "my labor pains were worse than yours!" bs stories. I'm here because I'm fat and I'm looking for answers. Hold your head high girl, don't let anyone or anything get you down, you know what to do to get your body healthy, just do it. People love to rain on a parade for some reason, maybe they have nothing better to do. Rise above it and them. *hugs*

Renee`

[Tiffykins 673]

Misery loves company, and you are 100% correct when we make poor choices, those consequences will bite us.

Best wishes on your journey ! ! !

[KellyL 173]

Try not to let it get to you. Your friend may think they are helping you. However as you said, she can't blame all her problems on a surgery if she's not being compliant with the dietary guidelines. I'd just say look, my procedure is not exactly like yours, there's no malabsorption, and I'm doing this, so please support me, or let's not discuss the subject any more. She'll realize you are confident in your decision and let it go eventually.

[gettingpissed 0]

Well I passed my Psych evaluation yesterday. I also started the three month diet and exercise program. So Now I wait for three months and then I am scheduled for surgery. I called my friend who had the bypass in late December hoping she would be a good support source and she was totally negative. She has had complications but should be accountable for some of them. First i think she rushed into surgery and decided to have the procedure that she could loose the most weight on. Second, I dont think she told the truth about her medical history as she has had several surgeries from previous accidents and has needed and steroroids. That is why she was big to begin with and she slound not have has the bypass with that history. So now she had the bypass, and then got her gall bladder out and they just told her she needs to have her pouch made larger. She called me begging me to leave my nutrition appoinment and not to get this done saying I dont need it. That her hair is falling out in handfuls and she is so weak all the time and regrets her choice. I was so mad! I feel like if she would drink the Water, eat the right foods, exercise, and take her suppliments she would feel differently. She has lost almost 100 pounds and isnt complaining about that! I dont care if she cant eat chipoltle anymore..we shouldnt eat that anyway. I am not doing this to be skinny! Is is not an easy out for me!This is for my lasting health! My dad died at 50 years old. i do not want the same fat and thats my motivation for this. i also hold myself accountable for my failures as well as my successes and I feel like those who don't should not be on here or in the community dissing people who are considering WLS. I care about my friend but she is not helping herself by eating the same crap foods and not drinking Water. I advised her she needs to get her Vitamins in some how and she just said they are gross and she refused to take them. So i feel like its your choice just like this is mine, just dont discourage me because you arent taking advantage of this...SHHHHHEWW!! That is off my chest now!

Thats kind of why I have been read so much here, I really want to know what I'm getting into. As I read I find more often than not that those who fail after the WLS are the one's that don't follow the set program and are disapointed with the way the that they now have eat. I'm still waiting to complete my medicaly supervised diet so my comment is just an observation though I have no practical experince with living with WLS. Those persons who appear to be successful with the WLS seem to be very disciplined and positve. Maybe some people think that after the WLS that they can continue with the poor eating habits. Where there's smoke there's fire.......

[Rootman 1,101]

Yup, what Tiffy said. You friend seems to of lied to get her surgery and probably DID rush into it. Be honest with both yourself AND the doctors and we all pray it will work out the way that is best for YOU.

In almost ANY situation you can find people that have either failed it or it failed them, quite often it is the former. How many lottery winners have you heard of that went off the deep end and totally f***ed their life up royally? We often times are our OWN worst enemy.

It also sounds like your friend had a BYPASS, a sleeve is NOT a bypass. A bypass is where they reroute a portion of your small intestines to BYPASS a portion of them and along with a small "stomach" pouch force you to lose weight by not adsorbing the calories from the food you eat. A sleeve is simply a restriction made by removing a large portion of your natural stomach. You therefore can eat less and most generally DO eat less and then lose weight. In all cases some people can and do have complications and some even fail themselves by constantly eating the wrong things all day.

Seek other advice, DO tell the truth to everyone involved, pray about it if that is your inclination and most of all YOU make the decision for YOU based on all the good information you can glean.

We all wish you well.

[Browneyedsouljah 5]

Thank you for the reply's. It took my a long time to get to this decision and I am moving forward with it.

[Virginia S 13]

People who take steroids should not have the RNY bypass. Here speaks someone who takes steroids every day of her life and researched this carefully. The sleeve is THE surgery for a steroid patient, and that's medically supported not just my opinion. So your friend may have made a bad choice from the get-go.

Some of what she told you was true, but needs to be taken in perspective. WLS isn't a coast, but it unlike everything else you've probably tried, it works.

It can be tough to get the fluids and Protein in, ya gotta keep plugging. On the hair loss - you may well lose hair, but it will grow back. I have warned my husband it might happen and am trying to prepare myself, but I had the surgery knowing that it often happens - a few months in cute hats vs. a life time of obesity was no real trade-off to me.

Be honest with yourself about these things. Assure yourself it will be worth it to work your way through the challenges and then when they come you can say, "I was ready for this, I'm fine."

Good luck!

[crosswind 134]

.You know, when you get your surgery you could be an example to your friend. Talk about your tight diet and share how much thought you're putting into your health and nutrition. I feel compassion for her. If she was a bad candidate for the surgery and can't be compliant she is probably really suffering. Don't be mad at her --if that's her experience with wls of course she would warn you off it.

I've seen a couple very unhappy GB and RNY patients on Youtube. Also people are pretty bummed with their lapbands. But I feel grateful to them for telling what they know because if they didn't I would never have found out about VSG.

[wishes 125]

Good luck, I am with you every step of the way for the next three months! Keep up your positive attitude and don't let her affect you. You are doing this for your reasons and what is right for you. She is just being negative.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

.You know, when you get your surgery you could be an example to your friend. Talk about your tight diet and share how much thought you're putting into your health and nutrition. I feel compassion for her. If she was a bad candidate for the surgery and can't be compliant she is probably really suffering. Don't be mad at her --if that's her experience with wls of course she would warn you off it.

I've seen a couple very unhappy GB and RNY patients on Youtube. Also people are pretty bummed with their lapbands. But I feel grateful to them for telling what they know because if they didn't I would never have found out about VSG.

I couldn't agree more! What an excellent opportunity to show that your surgery will be a success, because you will follow the rules. I do believe we are on certain paths for a reason, knowing this there is likely a reason why this situation was posed to you. Make it a positive outcome.

Blessings and well wishes on your surgery.

[twoboysandagirl 109]

I am so glad you said that you are thankul for those Youtube videos~ I hadnt thought about it like that. I just thought wow I dont want that surgery. Poor sucker...I wouldnt have researched and looked into the sleeve I would have settled for RNY. GOOD POINT!

.You know, when you get your surgery you could be an example to your friend. Talk about your tight diet and share how much thought you're putting into your health and nutrition. I feel compassion for her. If she was a bad candidate for the surgery and can't be compliant she is probably really suffering. Don't be mad at her --if that's her experience with wls of course she would warn you off it.

I've seen a couple very unhappy GB and RNY patients on Youtube. Also people are pretty bummed with their lapbands. But I feel grateful to them for telling what they know because if they didn't I would never have found out about VSG.

[Browneyedsouljah 5]

I am so glad you said that you are thankul for those Youtube videos~ I hadnt thought about it like that. I just thought wow I dont want that surgery. Poor sucker...I wouldnt have researched and looked into the sleeve I would have settled for RNY. GOOD POINT!

I have not thought about it like that. I have been looking this stuff up online for a while and I admit it was the stories on the various forums that really deterred me. I think she would have benifited from doing her research online. I do feel bad for her, but I feel like we have to do our part. I will also be a support system for her. I have learned alot from this forum and I should help her make the best of her choice. HOWEVR, I am so glad I found this FORUM and feel like I have made a very informed decision. Thanks everyone!

[Just-A-Gem 86]

I could be totally off base, but you said that she's not complaining about the weight loss. Could be that she just doesn't want the competition on top of all she's been facing. She could be scared that you will surpass her and feel better doing it. Just my opinion, because I have a friend (that hasn't had WLS) that I could totally imagine as her. She'll probably freak when I start losing weight.. Different situation because even being sick, I'm sure your friend feels special being the one that's lost 100 lbs.

[Rainydayz 27]

That's sad about your friend. She apparently did not do her research and simply grasped at something blindly and now expects it to be all hunky dory. It's good to hear stories like hers because it serves as a reminder of how much we have to really learn about this stuff before we jump into it. I want to know all the bad that could happen so I can avoid it. I have asthma and take steroids at times so I know that the sleeve is the best option for me. But honestly without these forums I would never have learned about the sleeve and about all the problems with the band (which was the first thing I looked into.) Unfortunately your friend did not read and learn enough and she is paying the price. Just tell her that you appreciate her concern but you have done your research and have made your decision. You will not have the problems that she is having.