Sabotage....

[new_beginnings_ 16]

I honestly think my husband is trying to sabotage me. Went to the store today and all he wanted to by was sweets. Oh and I should mention that I have a huge sweet tooth so it is really hard for me to have the stuff in the house and not eat any. Before my surgery, I had the talk with him and told him that if he wants that crap, he needs to eat it outside of the house because I can't be around it. So what does he do the week of my surgery? He goes and buys some of those Pillsbury Cookies that you bake and makes them while i'm sitting there starving and in unbearable pain. WTF? Also, he is constantly eating all the stuff that I am not supposed to be eating in front of me and then asks me if I want some. pizza, hot dogs, candy, cookies... as I am typing this he is eating a stuffed crust pizza hut Pizza Hut pizza. Yeah, asshole, I know. I think he has no idea what I am going through right now, and how hard it is for me not to eat all this crap. Anyone else's significant other trying to sabotage them?

[Valentina 2,642]

I think I have some idea what you're talking about. My SO just ate an entire box of chocolate donuts. He refuses to discuss my surgery. Yeh, I know...

[new_beginnings_ 16]

The crazy part about it is that he has been very supportive of me through out my whole journey, starting with the band. I'm starting to wonder if he is just being really selfish or if it is some kind of subconscious effort to sabotage me...

[AutumnLily 77]

I honestly think my husband is trying to sabotage me. Went to the store today and all he wanted to by was sweets. Oh and I should mention that I have a huge sweet tooth so it is really hard for me to have the stuff in the house and not eat any. Before my surgery, I had the talk with him and told him that if he wants that crap, he needs to eat it outside of the house because I can't be around it. So what does he do the week of my surgery? He goes and buys some of those Pillsbury Cookies that you bake and makes them while i'm sitting there starving and in unbearable pain. WTF? Also, he is constantly eating all the stuff that I am not supposed to be eating in front of me and then asks me if I want some. pizza, hot dogs, candy, cookies... as I am typing this he is eating a stuffed crust pizza hut Pizza Hut pizza. Yeah, asshole, I know. I think he has no idea what I am going through right now, and how hard it is for me not to eat all this crap. Anyone else's significant other trying to sabotage them?

Where these behaviours always present (before you started the pre-op diet) or is he going out of his way to do these things? If he did these things before he may not really understand what he is doing. You should have a talk with him about why he feels the need to do this when he knows full well that you can not have the stuff.

Is he vindictive and wanting to torcher you? Is he wanting to see if you cave and then you may not be able to get the surgery? Sounds like he is trying to say something but doesnt have the balls to say in with his mouth.

How many days before you have your surgery? Maybe when he does these things walk away. Go for a walk or go shopping or just plain leave the room he is in.

[new_beginnings_ 16]

Where these behaviours always present (before you started the pre-op diet) or is he going out of his way to do these things? If he did these things before he may not really understand what he is doing. You should have a talk with him about why he feels the need to do this when he knows full well that you can not have the stuff.

Is he vindictive and wanting to torcher you? Is he wanting to see if you cave and then you may not be able to get the surgery? Sounds like he is trying to say something but doesnt have the balls to say in with his mouth.

How many days before you have your surgery? Maybe when he does these things walk away. Go for a walk or go shopping or just plain leave the room he is in.

I was sleeved on April 6 so I am just now starting to get back to being able to eat regular foods again, so I guess the point is that I physically can't eat pizza or hot dogs and yet he still asks if I want some... He doesn't seem vindictive so I don't think he is tring to be a complete ass but it is definately coming off that way. He has always liked junk food and fast food so no this is nothing new but like I said, I already asked him not to bring that stuff into the house and yet here we are with pizza, bite size brownies, key lime pound cake, and snickers sitting in my kitchen.

[Lots Of Hope 4]

Get a big black trash bag and stuff it all in there!!! If he runs....chase him...it will be good exercise. Sort of kidding. I have to t hrow out a lot of food that my husband buys bc I can't handle it. I am only prep so I am sure that iis really hard . Ask him what color swimsuit he want to see you in..then say if he does, he needs to eat it in the garage.

[Lots Of Hope 4]

Did you say key lime pound cake? Ok...positive affirmations ladies!!!!!

[mandems mom 3]

My husband and children eat all the bad things that I desperately want to eat, but you know what, I'm okay with it. My husband apologized at first, but I told him it wasn't necessary. I have to learn willpower and forcing the other members of my family to deprive themselves of things they regularly eat, hardly seems fair. My weight is my issue not theirs and it's up to me to control what I put in my mouth whether I'm at a restaurant, a social event, or at home.

[klus263 9]

I am so sorry, my husband was supportive even to the point he had surgery one month ago. It was hard at first before he was sleeved. First don't go shopping together, try to make a menu and stick with it. Do try to talk to him about how this is making you feel. If it continues when he is eating something, go outside, go for a walk, get out of the house. Also light candles to remove the smell. Just keep your eye on your goal to become healthy and lose weight. Contact me as I am also Birmingham and we can met or if you just need to vent.

[Lots Of Hope 4]

Mandems mom, I hope to be like you someday, but until then I try to set myself up for success. My husband knows it is my issue...as everybody who sees me, but I am glad that they are willing to support me that way. Humor helps too! It's a change for my whole family. Thats the way we hang.

[new_beginnings_ 16]

My husband and children eat all the bad things that I desperately want to eat, but you know what, I'm okay with it. My husband apologized at first, but I told him it wasn't necessary. I have to learn willpower and forcing the other members of my family to deprive themselves of things they regularly eat, hardly seems fair. My weight is my issue not theirs and it's up to me to control what I put in my mouth whether I'm at a restaurant, a social event, or at home.

You are so right and I am working on it but as you know, people don't change overnight. Thank God for my sleeve because otherwise, I would be pigging out right about now. :rofl:

I am so sorry, my husband was supportive even to the point he had surgery one month ago. It was hard at first before he was sleeved. First don't go shopping together, try to make a menu and stick with it. Do try to talk to him about how this is making you feel. If it continues when he is eating something, go outside, go for a walk, get out of the house. Also light candles to remove the smell. Just keep your eye on your goal to become healthy and lose weight. Contact me as I am also Birmingham and we can met or if you just need to vent.

That's awesome that you guys are doing it together, my husband doesn't have a weight problem so I don't think he realizes the battle that I have been through with my weight. Also, it's nice to see locals on here... as far as I can tell, the sleeve is not real popular in Birmingham yet. I was banded with Dr. Miles about two and a half years ago and I was miserable the whole time. I'm just happy I was able to revise and I have felt wonderful ever since. What area do you live in? I live in the Clay area.

Mandems mom, I hope to be like you someday, but until then I try to set myself up for success. My husband knows it is my issue...as everybody who sees me, but I am glad that they are willing to support me that way. Humor helps too! It's a change for my whole family. Thats the way we hang.

I love the fact that your whole family is with you on this, I wish my husband would get with it because I'm afraid that down the road, his eating will catch up with him too...

[Lots Of Hope 4]

My kids and husband still get all the junk they need, but outside of the house. Maybe just ask him for help until your cravings are better, or pick the junk you don't like. My family is having pizza right now, and before my husband ordered, he ask me if I would like to go and take a nice relaxing bath. I got the hint, so here it am. Let me know if you find something that works for you. I don't think it's about will power at first, it's about learning how to be the most successful you can be with your life and personality. Good Luck. I am struggling along side ya!

[ElizabethObviously 0]

Just keep reminding yourself that you are becoming healthier. Maybe he is just trying to test your will power? I know when I stopped drinking soda ( cutting back from a 2 liter of Mt Dew a day habit to NOTHING) on Jan 1st, hubby would buy himself a soda....but the longer I have went without it, the less he drinks. Yes, every now and then he will bring one into the house and I just want to beat him up and steal it from him but I keep remembering, if I drank any soda my streak would be over. I am on 4 months without soda now! Why ruin that for a 15 min sugar high?

[Valentina 2,642]

I'm not a therapist, but I think that he's gone way beyond "subconscious". What the h*ll does he think he is doing???? Maybe it's time for some direct and honest questions and ANSWERS.

My SO is clinically depressed, but even so that does not give him the right to be sooo unfeeling and unsupportive to the point of being cruel. We had a "lively" Q & A last night. That is the reason I didn't get back to you last night. The "air" is much clearer around here this morning I live way up here in upstate NY, but for whatever it's worth--you have MY support. Please, keep in touch. I care.

Valentina

....

The crazy part about it is that he has been very supportive of me through out my whole journey, starting with the band. I'm starting to wonder if he is just being really selfish or if it is some kind of subconscious effort to sabotage me...

[ATLGirl 134]

I don't think its fair to ask him to change his eating habits because you have to. My husband is 6'0 and 141 pounds soak and wet. When I was 330 he loved me and now that I'm 230 he still loves and support me though he eats a box of little debbie snack cakes a day. We have asked them to sacrifice so much already. From our emotions, money for surgery, time, waiting us when we feel stuffed, that I don't think is fair to ask him to stop the pizza or Cookies. I (though we are in different stages) don't disconnect myself from tiny sweets. When my husband eats icecream and asks if I want a taste, I get a taste and keep it moving. It makes him happy knowing I'm okay with his less than stellar eating habits.