mind games ain't funny!

[coops 1,790]

Thought I would have a little 'vent'!

I am really struggling here at staying positive. The infequency of ant scale or tape measure movement is really wearing me down. I am generally an upbeat and positive person and I can normally find the good in most situations; postive out of negative has been my motto since I was a teenager!

I know, realisitcally, that I have done well with my sleeve. Clearly I am smaller, fitter and healthier... but my head is playing mind games with me. There are more 'dark' days than 'light' days at the moment. When I look in the mirror I just see faults and fat. My hubby doesn't understand this at all... the other day he commented on how 'small' I looked, to which I replied 'Stop taking the pi**!' His reaction was one of shock and he shook his head looking a tad dejected! He constantly reassures me that I am doing well but most days I don't feel it...

This has been confounded by my eating habits going a little astray, over the last week. I am off work on our Easter holidays and as much as I am enjoying the break, rest and family time it is also giving me time on my hands, which I spend thinking too much... I am also allowing myself 'treats'! - in the form of choc and wholemeal bread. My train of thought is counter productive... it varies along the lines of: "well, you haven't lost a much weight over the last couple of months, so this bit of choc ain't gonna hurt' and 'you're going boxing later so you will burn off this piece of toast'! Don't get me wrong, compared to pre sleeve, I am not eating that much... this time last year I would have eaten the whole Easter egg, and contents in one day... or three pieces of toast instead of one...

I come on here pretty much every day and this site has been my life saver. To see others going through similar things at different stages has made me feel nromal. When I read how well others are doing, I feel sooooo happy for them, I really do. Then there is a fleeting pang of envy, which ends up in 'Oh, I wish that was me!, 'I wish I had reached goal in x mths' etc... you get the picture!

I know it is all in my head, I know that I will lose this weight and it will be gone for good... I suppose what I am looking for is how you coped with it and reassurance that these stupid thought patterns will go away and leave me alone!

Sorry it has been a long post...

[juliarh 35]

Hey Coops -- first off, BIG HUGS!! I know you've been struggling and you've done so well and you have been positive!! You've been so patient and steady -- you're my inspiration!!

I just watched this video and when I read your post, I thought it might be helpful. Just some background on her: Rosemary is a gastric bypass patient who is 7 years post op -- she is incredibly inspiring and positive -- she is a slow loser too -- she still has not made her goal. But she is soo supportive of EVERYONE. Her sister, Connie, just had surgery as well. Here's the link:

Hope that helps! Hugs!

[coops 1,790]

thank you... I will check it out! all help is rec'd with much love!! =]

[M2G 1,836]

Coops, I also admire your strength and coming here when people are posting about losing 100+lbs in a few short months, it is soooooooooo hard NOT to compare. I know that negative self talk well, as I have used it every SINGLE TIME I've ever been on any type of diet. Even with the sleeve it is hard to soldier on when you feel like you are not getting anywhere.

Please, I hope this is not offense, or taken the wrong way, but have you considered changing your goal to a higher weight? And I know you want to lose more, and that may well happen, but what about switching more to maintenance, at least for a while? (I know you are probably thinking...this stall may as well be maintenance...) BUT hear me out. If you "allow" yourself to call this maintenance instead of being in the losing phase, maybe that inner voice won't be so loud or condescending? And after you have been able to maintain for a while, then maybe you can find that you do indeed have the strength to try and get those last pesky lbs off.

I think at some point our bodies sort of "rebel" against the weight loss and maybe this is the weight your body is happy at.

Every single time I've stalled (meaning being stuck for 2 weeks or more) and it has happened OFTEN, I *always* ask myself "If a magic genie appeared and told me that THIS was my FINAL weight, and that there was NO WAY I would ever lose any more weight...would I be happy?" And I always have to answer yes. I'm soooooooooo much better off than being morbidly obese.

So this may not be the end of the line for you but sounds like you need to have a little game change and then re-evaluate and go from there.

Big hugs! No one ever promised this would be easy.

[Lila21 36]

Coops, I'm sorry you are struggling! You are so encouraging and wonderful that i wish I could help! All I can do is send you big hugs, though! First, I think what Mommy2Girls said was great! I feel soooo much better having lost 65 lbs, and even though I want to lose a lot more, it helps me to focus on how much better I feel RIGHT NOW. I can't believe how much better I can move, from simple things like walking to lunch with my coworkers to being ABLE TO TIE my shoes without grunting from the effort is AMAZING. It might help you to focus on that when you are stalling. Also, I have lost a total of 140 lbs in my lifetime, but it took me a loooong time, and I think with YOUR perseverence, you will get there, even if not exactly in the time frame that your doctor gave you. I totally, absolutely believe in you! Maybe that helps a bit, too---knowing that you have people who believe in you! :-)

[coops 1,790]

Coops, I also admire your strength and coming here when people are posting about losing 100+lbs in a few short months, it is soooooooooo hard NOT to compare. I know that negative self talk well, as I have used it every SINGLE TIME I've ever been on any type of diet. Even with the sleeve it is hard to soldier on when you feel like you are not getting anywhere.

Please, I hope this is not offense, or taken the wrong way, but have you considered changing your goal to a higher weight? And I know you want to lose more, and that may well happen, but what about switching more to maintenance, at least for a while? (I know you are probably thinking...this stall may as well be maintenance...) BUT hear me out. If you "allow" yourself to call this maintenance instead of being in the losing phase, maybe that inner voice won't be so loud or condescending? And after you have been able to maintain for a while, then maybe you can find that you do indeed have the strength to try and get those last pesky lbs off.

I think at some point our bodies sort of "rebel" against the weight loss and maybe this is the weight your body is happy at.

Every single time I've stalled (meaning being stuck for 2 weeks or more) and it has happened OFTEN, I *always* ask myself "If a magic genie appeared and told me that THIS was my FINAL weight, and that there was NO WAY I would ever lose any more weight...would I be happy?" And I always have to answer yes. I'm soooooooooo much better off than being morbidly obese.

So this may not be the end of the line for you but sounds like you need to have a little game change and then re-evaluate and go from there.

Big hugs! No one ever promised this would be easy.

WOW... where did that come from, Mommy you make soooo much sense! When I told me surgeon that I had lost very little weight since Jan he also said 'Oh you'll find it easy to maintain!' So I completely understand where you are coming from and I will have a little think about it.

I am going to carry on for the short term, and if I still feel like this in say a month I will stop 'trying' if that makes sense?

I am a little confused about my cal intake.... what is your take?

I eat three times a day... no Snacks... when I was tracking my food my cals would go between 650-1100 a day... I have been doing this since about Oct time.... anyway, I am wondering if perhaps I either need to reduced or increase cals...

I suppose this is my last tactic...lol...

My only worry is that when I decrease to 600-800 for over 2 days I get a nasty headache?

ANy thoghts x

[Kris 78]

Coops, you are a lovely lady and it is totally OK to vent! Honestly, I think low calories (under 1000 a day) is not good for anyone in the long term. Your body needs a certain amount of calories just to survive and maybe your body needs more fuel than you have been giving it? Have you experimented with increasing your calories or doing interval calories (some days normal, some days higher, some days lower) to see how that goes?

And you DO look really good ... your hubby isn't lying!!!!

[M2G 1,836]

WOW... where did that come from, Mommy you make soooo much sense! When I told me surgeon that I had lost very little weight since Jan he also said 'Oh you'll find it easy to maintain!' So I completely understand where you are coming from and I will have a little think about it.

I am going to carry on for the short term, and if I still feel like this in say a month I will stop 'trying' if that makes sense?

I am a little confused about my cal intake.... what is your take?

I eat three times a day... no Snacks... when I was tracking my food my cals would go between 650-1100 a day... I have been doing this since about Oct time.... anyway, I am wondering if perhaps I either need to reduced or increase cals...

I suppose this is my last tactic...lol...

My only worry is that when I decrease to 600-800 for over 2 days I get a nasty headache?

ANy thoghts x

Aaaah, I wish I knew the magic formula that works for some people! For me, I do actually have to limit my carbs. I can eat healthy carbs and not gain weight, but it brings my weight loss efforts to a screeching halt. Sadly. I figure if I have to give up most carbs for a year or two, so I can get to goal, it will be a worthy reason. I do eat some carbs though. I will portion out pretzels, or tortilla chips as part of my meal, but then that will be it for my carb of the day. Most of my carbs come from my veggies and my yogurt, etc.

My surgeon is just BIG on NO shakes AFTER 6 WEEKS (post-op) and about 2 months ago I started having my one shake a day again. I start my day with a shake that is very low carb and nets me 30g Protein, so it is well worth it to me. I think they harp on the no-shakes thing because they do not fill you up and satisfy you (but I don't have hunger so it almost doesn't matter to me) but it helps push me on the Protein for the day.

I do not understand people who say they eat 3 meals a day...OMG, I can't do that and still reach my protein goals. I eat like 6 (small of course) meals a day!!! So for instance today, I have had:

Premier Protein Shake

3oz of egg beaters with a tablespoon of cheese and a tbsp of bacon bits thrown in

2oz of ground beef, with 7 grams of tortilla chips and another tbsp of cheese melted on top (my own sort of taco if you will)

and when I logged everything to check I'm already at 69g of protein and only 17g carbs. I will probably end up with over 100g of protein for the day because I will eat another snack around 3pm (sometimes a Protein Bar or apples and cheese or turkey and cheese, etc.) and then a dinner (probably chicken breast) and usually something like yogurt or ricotta cheese after dinner. So if you take away the shake and don't count that as a meal, by the end of the day I will have eaten 5 times today.

Even though I don't have hunger, I find that eating every 2-3 hours keeps me humming along and helps me reach those protein goals. I also do about 72oz of Water daily, with the occassional extra Water thrown in. 72 is my minimum, but some days I am able to get in more. I also have not had a single drink (alcoholic or carbonated) since being sleeved, I am planning on drinking again after I hit my one year mark but I wasn't a big drinker to begin with so it hasn't been hard for me.

I hope this helps to answer your question...sort of rambling, sorry about that!

[coops 1,790]

Coops, you are a lovely lady and it is totally OK to vent! Honestly, I think low calories (under 1000 a day) is not good for anyone in the long term. Your body needs a certain amount of calories just to survive and maybe your body needs more fuel than you have been giving it? Have you experimented with increasing your calories or doing interval calories (some days normal, some days higher, some days lower) to see how that goes?

And you DO look really good ... your hubby isn't lying!!!!

awww, thanks Kris... this site is a great and safe place for me to come to. My friends, that know, are great but don't really 'get it' ... if you know what I mean! Thanks for the tip... I think it is a good idea. I am back in work next week after having two weeks off (apart from 2 days and some work at home) and then would be a good time to try it out

=]

Aaaah, I wish I knew the magic formula that works for some people! For me, I do actually have to limit my carbs. I can eat healthy carbs and not gain weight, but it brings my weight loss efforts to a screeching halt. Sadly. I figure if I have to give up most carbs for a year or two, so I can get to goal, it will be a worthy reason. I do eat some carbs though. I will portion out pretzels, or tortilla chips as part of my meal, but then that will be it for my carb of the day. Most of my carbs come from my veggies and my yogurt, etc.

My surgeon is just BIG on NO shakes AFTER 6 WEEKS (post-op) and about 2 months ago I started having my one shake a day again. I start my day with a shake that is very low carb and nets me 30g Protein, so it is well worth it to me. I think they harp on the no-shakes thing because they do not fill you up and satisfy you (but I don't have hunger so it almost doesn't matter to me) but it helps push me on the Protein for the day.

I do not understand people who say they eat 3 meals a day...OMG, I can't do that and still reach my protein goals. I eat like 6 (small of course) meals a day!!! So for instance today, I have had:

Premier Protein Shake

3oz of egg beaters with a tablespoon of cheese and a tbsp of bacon bits thrown in

2oz of ground beef, with 7 grams of tortilla chips and another tbsp of cheese melted on top (my own sort of taco if you will)

and when I logged everything to check I'm already at 69g of protein and only 17g carbs. I will probably end up with over 100g of protein for the day because I will eat another snack around 3pm (sometimes a Protein Bar or apples and cheese or turkey and cheese, etc.) and then a dinner (probably chicken breast) and usually something like yogurt or ricotta cheese after dinner. So if you take away the shake and don't count that as a meal, by the end of the day I will have eaten 5 times today.

Even though I don't have hunger, I find that eating every 2-3 hours keeps me humming along and helps me reach those protein goals. I also do about 72oz of Water daily, with the occassional extra Water thrown in. 72 is my minimum, but some days I am able to get in more. I also have not had a single drink (alcoholic or carbonated) since being sleeved, I am planning on drinking again after I hit my one year mark but I wasn't a big drinker to begin with so it hasn't been hard for me.

I hope this helps to answer your question...sort of rambling, sorry about that!

Hey Mommy,

yep, three times a day is what I am allowed,... but as I just mentioned I am still off work on out Easter break, I am tempted to try the every three hours thing.

In one meal I can eat between 5-7oz depending on the density of the food and always protein first.

But I can see that having 2-3oz more frequently might be a good idea....

OH decisions, decisions...lol

I am feeling a little better today, I have been working hard on getting more water as that slipped a little... but I am also trying not to get too 'stressed' ... *sighs*

I think I am a little difficult to be around at the moment... I feel sorry for my hubby and kids... x

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Coops, your such a lovely lady, i hate to hear you are down right now! Stalls suck! I have been watching your ticker for months now... actually from about Sept of 2010... and I have seen that number go down... slow but in the right direction.

What I hope is that you really ENJOYED that chocolate and that toast... those are just a wonderful part of life, and you deserve to enjoy your life. I suggest you just write down what your eating, in fitday or something like that... even if you feel your in an 'off' time for following the plan. This will help you remain conscience of whats passing your lips. I too have had some chocolate eggs (yes I said the plural) and a half a cookie the other day. I am on a mini stall, but I believe that will end sooner or later. I am keeping my calories in the zone, even if the carbs are a little elevated.

Perhaps its time for a little spa day? Facials and toenails? Don't forget to be good to yourself girl. Perhaps some inspired reading or movie watching? Time will pass wether you are working on your goals or not, might as well dig in and do something non weight related every day to move those goals along. Your wonderful! Don't forget it girl.