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Hi Everyone,

It's been so long since I've checked in. I recently was FINALLY accepted to the local college of Business at a major university near me, so I've been getting all of those things in order, along with buying a house since surgery, and all types of other things going on, I haven't been posting here or taking care of myself...

I guess this post will be a bit of a release for me, I'll tell you guys what I've been doing wrong, I know I'm doing so many things wrong, and I do feel like a piece of crap for it. I should be doing much better, I'm hoping for some input and advice.

For one, I eat awful. Well not awful, but it's pretty much back to the way it was pre-op, just in much, much smaller sizes. I have cut out fast food though, I very very rarely will get fast food, but I will eat take out. I've been on no "diet" per say, though. I eat what I want, when I want it, in moderation. I feel bad about it, because before surgery I was told that after surgery, I'd be this crazy health nut who just wanted to get so healthy! Not the case..I'm not a health nut, but I'm not a fast food greasy food junky like I used to be. I'm somewhere in the middle now. I'm trying to get back on track, it's just hard to tell myself, hey, don't eat that greasy piece of chicken, when I just lost 5 pounds last week. I'm losing still, and losing quite a bit in my opinion. I cane easily say that I've lost between 2-5 pounds every week with no change, and am still continuing to do so. So, I guess it's just hard for me to say, Amber, you need to eat better, go on this diet, when I'm losing weight without it. But I do know that I'm taking advantage of my tool, and not using it properly, or at least that's how I feel.

Protein, protein, protein-I hate that word now. I don't get mine in, again, I'm doing bad at using this tool. I eat as much protein as I can, but I'm not tracking it. But again, I'm not managing it, but I don't feel down and out, I feel wonderful. I can tell I'm not getting enough though I think, because i'm having an insane amount of Hair loss.

My last thing would be Vitamins. I lost my insurance right after surgery. That's a story in itself...my premium was $200 a month before surgery, then all of the sudden it was $661 a month after surgery. I tried to fight it, no luck, so now I'm without insurance. Anywho, before I decided to cancel my insurance, my surgeon gave me this huge blood work prescirption, 12 viles of blood. Everything came back good except for my Iron, folic acid, and Vitamin D. Well, the surgeon sent me to pcp to read the tests. My pcp gave me iron, folic acid, Vitamin D and instructed me to take them for 2 months, until my levels came back up. I did that. And now he's saying I don't need to take these vitamins anymore, when I talked to him on the phone. So as of now, I'm taking no vitamins at all. I feel like I'm my own doctor though, even though I know that's no excuse. I had to call my doctor to tell him I wanted that blood work done, then I had to call my other doctor to read it, I feel like my pcp should have said WOAH AMBER! you are doing these things wrong, you need to get back on track, and take these vitamins. But that didn't happen. He seemed like it was no big deal, take these for 3 months, and you'll be fine.

So all in all, in my opinion, I'm not doing this tool any justice. I'm being a slacker. So I guess what I could use from you all, is what vitamins are you taking? I'll put myself on a vitamin regamient, and stick to it, since I can't afford to see my doctor right now (and even if I did, I think it'd be a waste of my money). Also, no one can answer this one for me either....what happens if I don't get my protein in? Obviously hair loss but what else? My brother, whose a doctor said 80mg (which is what my nut told me to get in) is too much because I didn't have a malabsobative procedure. He said bear minimum would be 30, which I think I get that in. Who knows what I believe though, everyone else tells me something different.

Now with all of that being said, about how everything is going wrong, let me tell you guys what's going right.

I've lost 90 pounds in 6 months. I feel great. I move like I've never moved before. I go on walks, and I enjoy it. I go to the mall and shop for hours with my mom, and I don't have to stop for breaks. I love going down to the dock now with my fiancee, just to walk around. I would NEVER have gone for a walk before as something fun to do. We go to garage sales and walk up and down the blocks like it's our jobs. I move around the house much faster and with much more ease, I can clean the house for HOURS and not be tired. My seatbelt fits, and it fits with SLACK! I'm down 10 sizes, I never would have thought that I'd be this size, I haven't since my freshman year of high school, now I'm about to be a college senior. My face looks so different, sometimes I look at my jeans and go...no way! those are not mine! but, yes they are, and they look darn good. I'm happy with how things are working out, I'm living life as a "normal" 21 year old. Yeah! Sure! I'll go bowling for 5 hours, or go to the college gym and work out with you! I'd be glad to! Just saying those things, makes me feel "normal" instead of just this person trapped in a huge body. I'm happy, I really am, I just don't know how long my body will continue to let me slide by, and keep not taking care of myself.

I realize that with posting this, I may get some, "hate mail", saying how I'm irresponsible tool that I've been given. If you feel the need to tell me that, that's fine, but do know that I've beat myself up quite a bit over it.

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Sweetheart to be very honest with you.........YES you could do a little better....on another note...WE ALL could do a little better, but to be 21 years old this was a major step for you as far as the courage to have it done and the discipline and responsibility health wise. I think that you are doing a really good job. You are steering away from fast foods and that is a BIG difference for you and your body. I think that the rate you are losing your weight is actually a good and healthy rate and look how much you've lost so far!!!!! The only thing honey is that I really do think that you need to take your Vitamins. I'm not big on taking pills neither, so I keep mine at two every morning (Women's One A Day Active Metabolism and a hair, Skin, and Nails Vitamin with 1000 mg of Biotin in it to help prevent Hair loss and such) . I figure if nothing else I can at least take two good vitamins :-) Keep up the good work and you are being active which is a really good thing too! Your eating habits will continue to gradually get better as well. 90lbs WOO HOO can't wait to get there!!!!! Take Care.

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First of all, it sounds like you're doing something right! Even if you're not counting Protein, it sounds like you're:

*Eating a lot of Protein - eating protein first is a big thing

*Eating less junk food

*Easting smaller portions

Give yourself credit for those things.

As for the Vitamins, my surgeon says many sleeve patients could do well on a normal multi-plus after we're back to eating for a while. That's a huge advantage of the sleeve vs. RNY.

Maybe make a few small changes rather than beating yourself up? But if you're losing and your blood work is pretty good, I'd say you're doing better than you think.

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It sounds to me like you are doing great! And you are much too hard on yourself! Look at all that is going right for you! No matter what there is going to be things that we wish we could change for/about ourselves so don't feel guilty. We will all still have good days and bad days. This surgery isn't a miracle fix where our lives will be perfect afterwards. I know that I've been pretty bummy since surgery because the weather has been crap. Cheer up, chick. You seem like you're doing awesome! :lol:

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I heard that the first 18 months are considered the honeymoon stage. Which means that you can loose weight even though you are not doing exactly what you are suppose to do. After the 18 month period, you can start gaining weight if you continue to cheat a lot.

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Today is a new day. You know where the changes are that you need to make, so make them. Force them. Do NOT look at the way we are to eat post op as a diet. It is not a diet it's lifelong eating. Yes by all means go eat something that is not all that healthy from time to time but it keep it as a treat.

We have gone out to eat a lot since my surgery and I keep it at healthier foods than what I would have gotten pre-op and obviously smaller portions.

Look at how great you have done too! So don't beat yourself up so bad. Just start fresh.

Take your Vitamins, just get some Multivitamins and some vit D and B12 is good too.

Oh and on the Protein, we were told 60 grams a day was the number to shoot for. So fill up on the Protein before anything else.

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Well I personally think you are doing good more than bad. Could you make some better choices? Yes, but then again I'm not perfect either by any stretch - I just choose not to ever beat myself up over it. I've done more than enough of that in the past, and that was my *fat* mentality. I'm not that person anymore.

So, IMO - things I see you can work on: Take your Vitamins. Also, you don't need to be a Gram counter to ensure you're getting all your Protein in. Just make sure you're getting your Proteins in first while eating and just have few bites of every thing else. It will all work out in the end.

You can also take Biotin, it does not help prevent hair loss but it's really great at helping with regrowth. Bonus it also makes your finger and toe nails super strong and healthy.

Good luck!! Stop the insanity and be kind to yourself. :)

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Thanks guys. Since I've heard from you guys, I've started taking the women's one a day and the Biotin, everyday. I'm back on my Protein Shakes, and making healthier snack choices, just had some celery with Peanut Butter. You guys are so supportive and helpful. You made me feel like I wasn't alone, and that I really could do this. Went to weigh in today, first time since surgery that I've hit a plateu. Next week will be better. Thanks guys!

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