My Life Still Sucks

[Tiffykins 673]

So when you stuck to the mushies, what made you decide you were ready to move on to normal foods? What do you think eased your restriction?

I have had labs done and am good on all levels surprisingly. I am taking multi-Vitamins but not the B12, my doc said that if i wasn't deficient then i needn't take them. I feel like I am on the rollercoaster from hell. If it isn't one thing that is wrong with me then something else crops up! Should I be asking for an endoscope?

I had reflux before surgery but it has gotten a bit worse since the surgery, I assume due to the size of my stomach. I may have to ask for a change over, but it seems to be mostly under control.

I just feel so alone, my husband is frustrated with me feeling like crap for the past 3 months and my father is worried sick. I don't have any answers to give them and quite frankly, being selfish, I want answers/resolutions more than anyone.

I want to start living my new life and I am not convinced I will ever feel good again and that scares me to death.

I started trying just one meal a day of solid meats, and still chose to stick to super soft meat. Things like fajita meat worked really, flank and skirt steak are kind of fatty, so it helped keep them moist, and easily chewed down. I always added some sort of gravy/condiment/sauce to meat even if it was just a hint of steak sauce, or greek yogurt, it helped me transition to solids.

I know you're frustrated. The B12 will actually help with energy. I was popping one 2500mcg sublingual every day, and at my 18 month f/u appointment, my levels were double the high normal so my surgeon had me cut down to 3-4 times a week and my levels scaled down to normal.

Honestly, I had some outside life stressors that I think contributed to my "fear" or slow transition to solid food, plus I felt like sh*t for the first 3 months. I was hospitalized again around 6-7 weeks post-op, my husband was in a shithole of Afghanistan getting mortared every day, we went over 30 days with zero communication at one point so my life was pure stress with trying to fully recover before my husband returned was a top priority. I can honestly say that once my husband came home, life was so much easier. I still struggled with solids, but it seems that with that stress out of the way, things really progressed.

I know how you feel, I remember those days all too well even though it was so long ago. I also wasn't battling depression so I can not relate to that aspect of your recovery. I was just stressed to the max. I had to really become "Positive Polly" to get me through. Positive affirmations, and just really trying to "self-talk" myself into feeling better every day. I would ask for a scope, but don't surprised if they find nothing. I went through several contrast studies, watching different consistency of liquids move through, and nothing was wrong with my stomach.

Have you considered trying a Papaya enzyme to help with digestion? You add it to your food, and it helps break down meats. You could also be experiencing slow transit time. There are drugs for that as well. Bentyl is one that we discussed me going just this January when I was burping up food several hours after eating, and having some gastritis symptoms. I did add some papaya enzyme to my dense Proteins, and it did seem to help with digestion.

Please feel free to message me anytime if you need to talk.

[fatBgone 6]

I don't have any other advice to add other than I don't want you to think you are alone. I'm two weeks out and this sucks, way more than my expectations. I thought I was well prepared but there r days I can't get out of bed, days I can't get my Protein, days I cry. This is hard and it's major surgery. I thought I would snap back better than this, but I'm not. I talk to myself all the time to stick to the rules, sip sip sip, protein protein protein. It will get better , it just takes time.

[sasicas 194]

Like Tiff said just try a little at a time. I am adding real food now little by little. certain things I do puree still but I mostly try to just have very small bites of meats. Lots of gravy or BBQ Sauce, that kind of stuff on foods to help them. THe best thing I have found so far was ham and rotisserie chicken, both are extemely moist to were I did not need anything on them. Just expect it to be very small bites and take your time eating. Like for me last night, we had ham, scalloped potatoes and candied yams. I had a very small piece of meat, it was maybe 1/8 of a cup of ham. I had a spoon full of potatoes and a spoonful of candied yams. By the time I was finished my family was completely done, including most having seconds or thirds, leftovers were put away and dishes loaded in the dishwasher before I finished my plate.

I would ask for a scope, I just had my 3rd today. It's worth it to at least put your mind at ease and who knows if there is a stricture.

On the meds, even if its mostly controled find out if you can add another med to use in case there is a day where it is worse. I have Nexium daily and Zantac is my emergency med, I was told I could get some other kind over the counter too (cant think of the name) as all 3 work in different ways. There is no reason to deal with pain if there is a med that will control it for you.

[ursieursie 1]

Erin, First, id like to say how sorry I am that u r feeling this way. Second, I didn't have my surgery yet. Im scheduled June 13th, so unfortunately I cannot relate to these exact surgical related issues with the sleeve, BUT....let me tell u where I am if u would....I have had 16 other abdominal surgeries (hernia repairs/bowel obstructions), and my life has changed drastically from the surgeries alone. I live my life in bed, and I have a 12 yr old boy. Since all my surgeries, I am a different person. I feel like crap, and never have energy. I walk around naseous 24/7. I have been on reglan for nausea for yrs now. The Dr's tell me it's from all my previous surgeries. They dont know the reason y I feel like I do... I am good one day, then feel like a total zombie/space cadet the next. I have 3 other hernias that need repair now, and a hiatal hernia. I have lupus, diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, osteo arthritis and every other co-mobility in the book. In addition, my intestines r hanging way down below my pelvis, and Im in a dangerous state right now. With all this going on, no surgeon will repair any more hernias unless I have a weight loss surgery too! So, here I sit, and will be sleeved in addition to all on the 13th of June, but I do understand where ur coming from, and I want u to know ur not alone, and it is a HORRIBLE FEELING, and IM SOOOOO SORRY U R GOING THROUGH ALL THIS. I know I will be experiencing the same afterwards, ..BUT ULTIMATELY, IF U EVER FEEL LIKE TALKING, PLZ FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME here or ursiegirl2007@aol.com, and like many of ur responders said...try the gatorade....it does work. I have deficiencies too, and im always dizzy, light headed, ect....There r days I cant stop eating, and days where I have to stop for a week or so, just to calm the intestines. I have heard stories like yours, but I know that in the end, it all works out, and the wls ppl r all doing fine now. I hate to say it, but Hang in there, and just keep telling urself U R STRONG, AND THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!! It has helped me hang in there for yrs now. Good luck to ya, and THANK YOUUUUU FOR LISTENING LOL !!! Feel better Erin/many prayers ur way

Yep, I said it, my life sucks. I had my surgery January 24th, 2011 and the surgery itself was uneventful, the few weeks after, uneventful as far as I can tell. The rest has been DOWNHILL.

In a nutshell, I feel like crap, I wanna cry, I have no energy, my sense of taste is disgusting, and I am feeling serious regrets right about now. Yes, I have lost 59 pounds, but if it's at the price of not feeling well and healthy, I really don't know that this was all worth it. I have been to see my general doctor as I had my surgery out of the country, and she has tried to do as much for me as she can. I had a barium swallow and it showed that everything is passing through my system as it should, but also that my stomach is VERY small. I am at the end of my rope as is my doctor so I have been referred to a local bariatric surgeon who deals with people who have had surgery out of country. Sadly, it has only been a week, so I have not heard anything from them. In the meantime, I am now nauseated when I wake up in the morning. Instead of feeling better, I almost feel like things are getting worse.

I had a point where I was angry, now I am just heartbroken and just do not know what to do anymore. I pray every night that this will pass because this is no way to live I can tell you that.

If there are veteran sleevers who have walked in my shoes, please feel free to respond cause I could use all of the kinship I can handle right now.

BTW, I am depressed, I am on meds and this is not depression caused. I wake up each day hoping it will be better than the last, and occassionally it has been a better day, but for the most part, I have not been so lucky.

Being that this is irreversable I need answers, being that I have a full-time job, a husband that is having trouble with how I am feeling and a family that is worried sick about me - these issues need to be resolved sooner rather than later.

Thanks for listening

e

[MrsPositive 5]

Hi Erin... I am so sorry that you are going through this and I will keep you in my prayers. Although I have not had my sleeve yet, I have had other ordeals that sound similar and I do have Chron's disease...which makes me feel nauseous almost every day. I also have a MS in Physical Therapy, so I have a bit of medical background. On the nausea, hydration obviously may be an issue but I also have found that a little bit of food in my stomach makes a huge difference! Also, if you are up to it...there are anti-nausea bands that you can get at pharmacies...google it first to find out where to go. They put pressure on meridian points that help decrease the nausea via your nervous system. They are worn on your forearms just beyond the wrists. Also, there are pregnancy pops....lollipops meant to help with nausea...they may help too. You can google that as well (think I got mine at Motherhood).

Also, if you can...have some place to get out every day. I find that anything that is with nature, beautiful and positive gets my head straight. Also, I have found that being with people (even when I maybe don't feel like it), always makes me feel better. I tend to wallow in pain/nausea/not feeling welll when at home with just immediate family or by myself. When I'm out....I think of other things, talk to people etc. I think for me...I stop thinking about me and am focused on others. I have no idea how much you can get out right now...but it might be worth a try if you are able. It has helped me through depression as well.

I hope you find comfort in the fact that tons of people are reading your story and praying as well as visualizing you as HEALTHY, HAPPY and VICTORIOUS!!! Hugs, Joan

[1-4-Many 2]

I really am sorry that you are feeling so poorly... I feel like you can't Celebrate the success that you are having at the moment... am I reading that right!

I am not sure what to suggest, but hoping that things will get better as time is a great healer!

Is there a particular food that you are eating that makes you feel sick, or is it food in general?

I hope you start to feel better, physically and mentally soon...x

When I first spoke with my surgeon I tried very hard to impress upon him that "success" is measured very differently by everyone. His program is driven toward the number on the scale. I told him twice, in a very clear and descriptive way, that if I had lost a ton of weight but was miserable -- weak, ill, life altered for the worst - - that I would not in any way consider it to be a success. This was one of the sticking points (fears) I had with him. He would absolutely make the same comment you made about "the success that you are having at the moment". I'm sorry, but this really hit me the wrong way. Yes, I know we all no longer want to be fat. But I hope most of us are here for an improvement to our health and that has to be hand in hand with the weight loss to have anything to Celebrate. Just my opinion.

Erin - so sorry your problems are continuing. Things will eventually get better but it stinks that you are having to take such a long way around the track. Not a lot I can offer except for you to know that I am thinking about you and wish nothing but better days ahead.

[SouthernSleever 228]

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. It seems they made your sleeve way too small and that is causing you not to get enough foods in. Try some high fat soft/easy to digest foods like avacado, lamb, turkey, pears. If you are having nausea ask for sublingual zofran. I'm so sorry you are feeling poorly. Truely <hugs hugs hugs>

[M2G 1,836]

I am sorry that you are feeling like your life sucks. You have gotten some great advice here and my suggestion is to not give up. Do not just accept that nothing 'medical' is wrong. I think you need definitely some more opinions, (and sounds like you are getting to that very soon.) Also I do not suffer from depression so I can't even say that I know what that is like. I'm sure you are trying a combination of medication and therapy and if you are not, then that is something that seems like it would help tremendously.

I am sorry you are suffering and I wish I knew what to say. There are a lot of great people on this forum who care about one another, and I just wanted to extend my condolences. Please keep posting and let us know what happens for you. I will keep you in my thoughts...

[coops 1,790]

When I first spoke with my surgeon I tried very hard to impress upon him that "success" is measured very differently by everyone. His program is driven toward the number on the scale. I told him twice, in a very clear and descriptive way, that if I had lost a ton of weight but was miserable -- weak, ill, life altered for the worst - - that I would not in any way consider it to be a success. This was one of the sticking points (fears) I had with him. He would absolutely make the same comment you made about "the success that you are having at the moment". I'm sorry, but this really hit me the wrong way. Yes, I know we all no longer want to be fat. But I hope most of us are here for an improvement to our health and that has to be hand in hand with the weight loss to have anything to Celebrate. Just my opinion.

Erin - so sorry your problems are continuing. Things will eventually get better but it stinks that you are having to take such a long way around the track. Not a lot I can offer except for you to know that I am thinking about you and wish nothing but better days ahead.

Hey 1-4-Many...

my comment about your weight loss was to simply, try and put a positive twist on your situation... something good for you to focus on whilst you are feeling soooo poorly. It was not meant in any other way and I apologise if it came across as flippant or similar. Indeed the whole point for me to get the sleeve was a way to increase my health, fitness and general well being; add years to my life and make the qaulitity of life good. I can see you went into it for the same reasons.

I have and never will respond on this forum with negative comments or any comments that I wouldn't want to receive myself.

I hope you feel better and that you are having some relief from how awful you have been feeling.

[Jean in the I E 0]

You've gotten many good suggestions and sometimes it just takes time to really feel better. I took Zegarid post op until about 6 weeks ago due to the acid reflux and in my experience it worked better than the other acid reducers. Also, definitely do what you can to get in more Protein (easier said than done). One tip that helped me was to measure out a couple of scoops of Protein powder in the morning and add a sprinkle to different foods - yogurt, cottage cheese, etc.

Hugs and good luck to you...

[Amber 4]

I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. My mom, who had gastric bypass, sort of went through the same thing you did. They ended up stretching her stomach out a little. The doctor went in through the throat with a cylinder type object and just expanded her stomach. I'm sorry I don't know what the name of the procedure is. She got better soon after. Before then she was throwing up basically every meal.

[Amber 4]

Yes, I have contacted the coordinator and she wanted me to come back down there and possibly have them go in again, I think that is a little drastic when I have heard that they can often do an edoscope with a balloon to stretch the sleeve if necessary. i also cannot afford to go back down there right now. If I can get in to see a bariatric doctor where I live, there will be no cost to me. As for Vitamins, yes, I do take them. I should also mention that I do have acid reflux and that I take pariet twice a day for it. It helps, but it has yet to be a cure.

Whoops, I didn't see this before I responded.

[Disney 20]

Hey 1-4-Many...

my comment about your weight loss was to simply, try and put a positive twist on your situation... something good for you to focus on whilst you are feeling soooo poorly. It was not meant in any other way and I apologise if it came across as flippant or similar. Indeed the whole point for me to get the sleeve was a way to increase my health, fitness and general well being; add years to my life and make the qaulitity of life good. I can see you went into it for the same reasons.

I have and never will respond on this forum with negative comments or any comments that I wouldn't want to receive myself.

I hope you feel better and that you are having some relief from how awful you have been feeling.

I feel the need to come to Coops defense here. I think so many times, when we "read" someone's response on a forum like this, it can be interpreted (or misinterpreted as it were) in so many ways. I absolutely do not think for a moment Coops meant anything bad. She always has good and positive things to say to everyone. That is just my opinion and I felt like sharing it.

[Kerry 1]

hey there! i am so sorry that you are going through this and not jumping through hoops of fire with excitment of your life changes. i know that if your not eating to get the nourishment even not having had WLS you can feel like death warmed over. i am actually on pre op and have tried so many different protien shakes. i have found my saviour, it is the Atkins advantage shakes...mmm mmm good. For example...i was slightly addicted to frozen fraps from starbucks. they have a cafe caramel shake that is sooooo good. now i know that sounds weird to say but they are my go to Breakfast. they are kinda thick but not tooo thick...(i like the thickness because i still have 100% of my stomach and it helps..) lol but i am telling you if you have not tried i would seriously consider it. they also have the norm...chocolate, vanilla and strawberry, ,,ive tried the chocolate and think im going to freeze one for a little dessert. i think it taste alot like a choco milk shake. Oh and the cafe caramel does have coffee in it. also they have a mocha latte that is sooo good. try it out...even if you hve to suffer through the taste of some of the Protein Shakes maybe it will help with the quality of your and you Dear Hubbys relationship. hope this helps a little...good luck hun and stay positive.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Erin, You should ask your doctor for a prescription for an anti nausea medication. That could be a big help.

I remember in the beginning, I was only able to eat a teaspoon of tuna,

chicken, or egg salads. Those were the first things I ate constantly

before I could move to something else. I made it really soupy. Also the

poweraide or gatoraide are good for you too. You shouldn't have to even drink sugar free because you're hardly eating.

Can you google or look in the phone book for a bariatric doctor and call one yourself?

I am so sorry Erin that you are going through this.