Support? where is it?

[Valentina 2,642]

Hello. My name is Valentina. I am scheduled for my surgery on June 6th. I have yet to decide whether to have gastric bypass or Vertical Sleeve. I went into this life changing course wanting a Sleeve, but when I mention it to my friends, they have a look like they are sucking on lemons! My daughters support me with whatever I choose to do, but that is not helping. Their love for me is not is question--nor is THEIR support. My significant other fluctuates between supporting me and telling me that I am selfish to only think of myself and not him as he struggles with clinical depression. I AM going to have WLS!! I just need some support that won't make me feel guilty. Right now, I am scheduled for a Sleeve because of the recovery time involved. Is that a wrong reason for the choice over the bypass??? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!

[MeMeMEEE 206]

I don't think it is a wrong reason. I personally can say my reasons for not choosing bypass are 1) malabsorption issues and 2) the whole rerouting thing. Recovery time isn't something I have looked at - I know of people who have been back to work with both in just a few days. My surgeon requires a longer hospital stay for the sleeve than bypass because, I believe, it is a newer procedure to them. From what I see and read, weight loss is similar with both.

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

Not really, everyone chooses their option for their own reason.

I never even looked into the RNY because I didn't like malabsorption concerns. I didn't want the re-routing. And, I was worried about re-gain.

A lot of people think the sleeve is a new new procedure, when in reality it's new as being a standalone procedure. It was done in the past as a stepping ground for patients who were too big to have the DS (I think, my brain is off on lala land this morning!) They would do the sleeve, once the patient lost enough weight, they'd go back in and do the other part. But, the found it had enough success as a standalone procedure.

I wish you luck on figuring out which you want

[Valentina 2,642]

Thank you ever so much. I did the research before I had my first consult with my surgeon. I just have had SOOO many people try to talk me out of it. --and with the lack of continueing support from my significant other, I am feeling very much alone. I only found this site last week and already am finding comfort from it. Maybe, I'm not as alone as I think.

[Janae 12]

I was a practice administrator for general surgeons for 4 years. We routinely "undid" RNY surgeries because of complications. I swore then and there that I would never have that procedure done. Most of the patients had regained the weight they had lost and then had complications on top of that. I have been waiting for years for a procedure that made sense to me. The Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy is it, I was sleeved 6 1/2 weeks ago You coulndn't have paid me to have a RNY. Althought I continue to have acid problems, despite taking protonix, pepcid AC and Tums, I love my sleeve!

[Valentina 2,642]

What a small world. I was the practice administrator for a group of surgeons for more years than I dare to remember. But my surgeons where all Orthopods. I thank you for your input. I am feeling much more confidant with my decision since finding this site. The vast majority of my support group is either Bypass or banded. There is only one person that has been sleeved and she is a wee bit "unique" not even considering WLS. I wish I had some support here at home, but my daughters are both off on their own in other states, and my significant other is not mentally strong right now. I will find support from this site. I know it!!! I have always been a strong individual. I will just have to remind myself of that as I go forward . Thank you again!

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I was a practice administrator for general surgeons for 4 years. We routinely "undid" RNY surgeries because of complications. I swore then and there that I would never have that procedure done. Most of the patients had regained the weight they had lost and then had complications on top of that. I have been waiting for years for a procedure that made sense to me. The Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy is it, I was sleeved 6 1/2 weeks ago You coulndn't have paid me to have a RNY. Althought I continue to have acid problems, despite taking protonix, pepcid AC and Tums, I love my sleeve!

[MeMeMEEE 206]

Valentina - my surgeon has done just 14 sleeves in a little over a year and I know no one personally who has had it. I was able to meet up with another of his sleeve patients just a few weeks ago, I asked the program person if she could find me someone to talk to in person and they did. It was great to meet someone so positive - she wanted the sleeve but was going to settle for the RNY because her insurance didn't cover sleeve - a week before the surgery she received word that insurance now covered sleeve and so she was able to do it!

[Valentina 2,642]

Thanx! I have a support meeting next Tues. I had two that were required, but am continuing to attend to gather information for myself. I will ask the director if she could put me in contact with another "Sleever". I have to give my surgeon my final answer the week after that. He is of little help with my decision. He,personally likes the bypass as it gives HIM more control of the pouch size. I thank you again, for the suggestion of finding another sleever locally (Middletown, NY) that I can talk with.

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Valentina - my surgeon has done just 14 sleeves in a little over a year and I know no one personally who has had it. I was able to meet up with another of his sleeve patients just a few weeks ago, I asked the program person if she could find me someone to talk to in person and they did. It was great to meet someone so positive - she wanted the sleeve but was going to settle for the RNY because her insurance didn't cover sleeve - a week before the surgery she received word that insurance now covered sleeve and so she was able to do it!

[Amber 4]

Everyone on this forum is happy and more than willing to help you. [: Congratulations on your surgery,I'm still waiting for insurance approval and should get a date this week.

[Valentina 2,642]

I am feeling better and my old determined self is around. It's frightening and lonely out here when one has little or no constant support. I am feeling like I have found it here.-----Good luck with your approval. Let us know.-

Everyone on this forum is happy and more than willing to help you. [: Congratulations on your surgery,I'm still waiting for insurance approval and should get a date this week.

[disneyfan 0]

Find a support group in your area. There might not be too many sleevers due to it being a newer procedure, but any support is better than no support. I haven't gotten my surgery date yet but I've been going to a local group for the past 2 months. I am lucky that my husband is very supportive, but the groups know how you are feeling and can really relate to you. The groups have been really supportive of me in my questioning and my decision and I know they will help me through the process.

[cwalker 12]

Thank you ever so much. I did the research before I had my first consult with my surgeon. I just have had SOOO many people try to talk me out of it. --and with the lack of continueing support from my significant other, I am feeling very much alone. I only found this site last week and already am finding comfort from it. Maybe, I'm not as alone as I think.

You're not alone, we are here for you!! The sleeve is a wonderful tool and it does help that it is easier to recover from. My daughter had the RNY 7 months before I had the sleeve. She has done well but has had a couple of faining episodes, UTI's and ulcer like symptons. The RNY wasn't for me because I wanted a functioning stomach tho it is a small one

Your SO needs to realize you have health needs and support you and your girls sound wonderful! WLS doesen't always brin out the best in friendships, don't let it get to you, do this for yourself and then they'll come around r not but either way you'll be a happier, healthier you!

[klus263 9]

When dealing with a significant other who suffers from clinical depression or any type of mental illness, you have to focus on yourself first to be able to help them. Been there done that. I decided to have WLS and was first considering the band but my doctor suggested the sleeve which my insurance had just started to cover. It was the best decision I ever made and I am so glad that I did not have the band and I never even considered the bypass. Some will continue to guilt you no matter what you do and at some point you have to do what is best for you. I don't know if you are involved with their healthcare provider but let them know of the issues. When my husband was in therapy, I met with his doctor every 6 months as we review medications and let them know how I was seeing things, medication side effects, what was happening in our life and such. It gave them better insight and helped in dosage or changing medications as needed. I am happy to say after 15 years of depression, he is off all medications. He still has some mood swings but we are able to work thru them. Hang in there and don't let them discourage you.

[kellyw74 258]

That is exactly why NOBODY but my husband knows! People are ignorant and uninformed and think they know what is best. My husband wasn't keen on the idea, but he supports me no matter what i do! He knows how i have struggled. We have been together since 1992. People piss me off!

I will decide later if i want to tell others or not. I probalby will tell my mom, but not anyone else.

Best of luck to you!

Kelly

[Valentina 2,642]

Thank you ever so much for your post. FINALLY someone understands what I am trying to understand with my SO. Every "other" day he is supportive and I find the roller coaster of emotions not acceptable to my peace. Don't get me wrong, I love the man to bits, but... I have supported him through self admissions,hundreds of therapy visits, med change after med change. If he can't support my decision than that I can deal with. It is this constant changing of his mind that I can't. I guess I will just continue to love the man, and do for myself what I know I need to do--even if it infuriates him to the point of asking me to move out.

Then there is my best friend who had a bypass in Feb. She has nothing good to say about sleeving. She is 100% against it. This woman has been my closest friend for over twenty years. I don't understand...

I am now thankful to have found this site where I am being welcomed and supported.

I thank all of you.

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When dealing with a significant other who suffers from clinical depression or any type of mental illness, you have to focus on yourself first to be able to help them. Been there done that. I decided to have WLS and was first considering the band but my doctor suggested the sleeve which my insurance had just started to cover. It was the best decision I ever made and I am so glad that I did not have the band and I never even considered the bypass. Some will continue to guilt you no matter what you do and at some point you have to do what is best for you. I don't know if you are involved with their healthcare provider but let them know of the issues. When my husband was in therapy, I met with his doctor every 6 months as we review medications and let them know how I was seeing things, medication side effects, what was happening in our life and such. It gave them better insight and helped in dosage or changing medications as needed. I am happy to say after 15 years of depression, he is off all medications. He still has some mood swings but we are able to work thru them. Hang in there and don't let them discourage you.