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I'm scared



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I'm scared of the pain...I've had surgery before I remember the pain. I'm scared of feeling thirsty and not being able to drink (I am a heavy consumer of the H2O ) I'm scared that I won't be able to sleep for the majority of the first day like I would want to...if only to avoid the unpleasant first day discomforts. I'm scared that I will have flashbacks to my last OR experience (treated worse than an animal while in hard labor with my 4th child...eventually knocked out after berated and ridiculed for not staying completely still during pushing contractionssad.gif) Scared of taking any anti-anxiety meds for fear that I will get waterfall mouth and just sound like an idiot.. Scared of changing my life Scared of losing my society buffer, Scared of the lose hanging skin, scared that this surgery won't be the tool that finally helps me lose weight. Scared that I'll screw it up. Scared that I won't be able to resist the sugar monster in me that craves sweets of any kind. Scared that I'll have a complication, Scared that I'll leak, Scared that while in there they will find my insides riddled with tumors, Scared that I'll die, Scared that I'll need a blood transfusion, Scared that they will be mean to me, Scared that my dreams will never come true.

Scared...

This is normal stuff right?

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I'm with you saucy! I'm just too scared to verbalize all of those things. From reading this website, I feel confident that I'm making the right decision for me! Plus, my faith is keeping me sane when I have doubts. I feel that I'm being given an opportunity to make the changes I need to live a fuller and happier life....and I'm taking full advantage of that opportunity!!

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All this is perfectly normal. I had surgery Monday and I didn't sleep Sunday night - cried and cried until I thought hubby was going to have to wring out his shirt.

Know what the worst part of the whole thing was? Trying to get an IV in before the surgery. I'll spare you details, but my arms are a solid bruise. The first time getting out of bed was tough, but each time you get up it's easier. The first 2 days were hard to drink, but now if I sip slowly it's just fine (you can feel it go down, which is weird but if you know it doesn't mean anything's wrong it doesn't hurt.) I'm eating yogurt now (no lumps, which is silly because they have me taking pills). Not sweating the Protein today - I'll worry about that when I'm getting 48 oz of liquid down, which may well be tomorrow.

I slept many hours the first day - a hangover from the anesthesia, I think. I bet you'll sleep fine too. Use your pain pump if you need it, keep yourself comfortable and it will help you sleep. Don't feel you're being a wimp - the better you feel, the quicker you'll start to mend.

I turned up allergic to Vicoden, so after discussions with surgeon went home on Extra Strength Tylenol and that has bgeen plenty. I did take Benadryl last night. I had trouble sleeping the first night in the hospital, but they gave me Benadryl after my Vicoden reaction the second evening and I slept like a baby. Get something to help you sleep when you get home.

You'll do great. Just being on this board will help more than you expect. Know all those posts where they go "OMG, what have I done to myself? Is this normal? Is something wrong?" Well you already know that stuff is normal, so if it happens to you, you can just go "yep, remember reading about that". The trouble drinking the first couple of days, for example, didn't scare me because so many other people mentioned it.

Day 3, and I just got back from a walk with hubby and daughter - just under 1 1/2 miles.

Good luck. Cheering you on.

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Your fears are completely normal. I think everyone has them at some point. I had them all before I really decided to have surgery, once I decided I was calm. I slept very little the night before and therefore slept most of the day after surgery.

Try doing positive affirmations regarding the surgery and your life after, it really can help. Good luck, and we'll see ya on the losing side :)

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