Fears! Need your Help!

[karaserene1985 1]

Hello Everyone,

I have been on this site for quite some time now and I was going to be having surgery as a self pay April 15, 2010. That got cancelled due to lack of family support and now will be having surgery on May 31, 2011 using UHC and my surgery will be covered 100%. It is starting to get close and I am now having fears about getting the surgery. Fears I have never had before. I need help especially from all you post-op peeps out there. There are 3 major issues that keep coming up.

1. I have never had good luck. I mean seriously if something could go wrong in my life for my husband and myself it has. No joke... I won't go into detail about this but believe me when I say. I have horrible luck. Due to history with luck, I keep having this fear that I will be a statistic. By this I mean, I will be one of those who either, A) Dies B has a leak or C) has some other really bad complication to add me to the statistics of the surgery! I can't get over this feeling... I know my surgeon is very experienced and he is also the number 1 trauma surgeon at the hospital I am going to, but I just keep having these fears that its going to be me!

2. No diet has eve worked! Never! I have been on the pre-op diet since last July. Low Carb, High Protein, and have only lost 9 pounds. My second fear is that the surgey won't work. I will lose some weight during the liquid and mushy phase but after that.... no more will come off. No matter what I do. Small portions, excersise, I have never lost weight so why would the surgery be any different. I especially can't get over this one! I've tried everything... and I know I will only be able to eat small amounts, but I have done Portion Control diets and never lost. How is this going to be different.

3. I'm afraid I will never ever in my life be able to eat the things I enjoy ever again. I am not talking about Cookies, and chips, and ice cream, etc. I have never been one of those girls. Really and I'm not lying. I'm the fruits and veggies girl. I love my apples, and bananas, and grapes, and pineapple, and the list goes on and on. Lately because of my pre-op diet I have giving in and falling off the diet. I do really good all day and then at the end of the day just want something and i tell myself I can't have that apple because of the carbs... and then... I go get fast food and chocolate instead. I never ever used to do this. Now for some reason I think I can't have the good stuff like my fruit so instead I go get even worse stuff! I'm worried that after surgery i will never be able to eat my fruit because there are to many carbs in them, or never be able to have a small piece of chocolate once every 3 months and because of this I have been doing really bad now on my pre-op diet. I have about 2 weeks until I have to be full on this diet low carb and high protein before surgery. My surgeon does not do a liquid diet. For all of you post-op, please tell me I will be able to eat fruit again after surgery. Maybe not right away, but maybe after hitting goal.

I'm having a really hard time these past 2 days... With all these fears... I could really use some advice from all of you!

I love this site!

Thanks!

[JamieLynn77 1]

i think you have all the same fears that a lot of us did. i know that i cried right up until i was put under. i was scared i wasnt coming home. but i did and you will too. i think its a level of trust in your surgeon. he wouldnt be doing this surgery on you if he didnt believe that you were going to be okay. and also you gotta weigh the pros and cons. what if you dont have the surgery..will you eventually get diabetes, or high cholesterol...or something? this is a wonderful tool to help us change our lifestyle and become healthier people. I am only 4 months out, but i have ZERO regrets. i get frustrated yes, but the change i have seen is worth it. I do eat fruit by the way :-) actually bananas were on my phase 2 diet, when i went to softies. i could mash bananas and eat them. i was so excited lol. my pre op was torture. i was so addicted to food and i did 2 weeks liquid dieting and omg. lol...i wanted to chew my arm off at first, but as time passed, it got easier. and its wierd tho, but after surgery, i had no hunger. but was always thirsty. and even now...i dont get that ravenous feeling like i did. so its a huge help. and you learn to eat different. you are more aware of the labels on food...and you want to make better choices so you can put this sleeve to the test. i do sugar free everything...i try...in my house. koolaid, chocolate Syrup, splenda, carnation instant Breakfast is sugar free. and its for my family too. and it is working so far, I think you will be a great success. stick around here, these ppl are wonderful and were an instrument in my decision as well. Good luck to you and drop a line anytime if you wanna talk!

[ranchersdaughter 9]

You sound so normal it's scary! Lol!

Like you, I had the same fears and trepidations. One day after I lost a whole nights sleep worrying about all the negatives that "might" happen, I just dropped to my knees and gave it all to God. I told Him point blank that this was in His hands and if He saw fit to see me through or not, that I would respect His decision. My mind has been at peace ever since. I know not everyone has these convictions, but it worked for me.

Something else that someone told me before surgery has also helped......

"You're 98% more likely to get in a car wreck any day of the week, than you are to have complications or die from this surgery!"

Breathe deep, write down everything you can about the surgery that you can think of or that you have read or learned in your research. Write down the good, the bad and the ugly and keep your mind open!!! Do not let fear sway you to thinking negatively, and I think you will find that the good FAR outweighs the bad!

I'm 10 days post-op and feel FANTASTIC!!! I would do it again in a heartbeat and I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have, or simply lend a quiet ear if you need to vent or get things off your chest!

Welcome to the family!!

Christal

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

You will be able to eat fruit again and before goal too. Really, after you go through the post op diet, you'll be able to eat small amounts of anything you want.

This is not a diet.This is a life long change . Your sleeve will only hold so much. You'll have to eat Protein first but you can have a piece of fruit as

a snack. You should count calories and Protein and you will lose weight

just like everyone else who has been sleeved!

[karaserene1985 1]

Thank you for your responses. I know I WILL NOT CANCEL surgery because of my fears. I just still can't seem to get over them. I had a support group meeting last night and the Head RN that works on the surgery floor faciliates them and I asked him.... will I get something for my anxeity as soon as I walk into those doors because I know I will freak out., and of course he said whatever I want... just ask.... lol.... I have never been in a hospital before. The worst that has ever happend to me was a broken ankle once and dental work. I just have fears being a NEWBIE to the hospital. No children so not even labor or anything like that. .... One day at a time I guess.... And I still don't get how I'm going to be able to eat fruit. I try to stay under 60 grams of carbs a day on this pre-op and I had an orange yesterday that had 22 grams of carbs. Add in carbs from cheeses and vegetables and I'm at my 60. Its really tough!

[Rev Me Up! 75]

Talk to your doctor about the anxiety and see if they will prescribe an anti-anxiety pill you can take the day before and the morning of surgery. They really help!!!!

I remember ny first surgery (my c-section) and I was terrified. The good thing is that, once they put in the IV, the rest of it is a breeze. You'll be asleep for everything that is uncomfortable. You'll wake up afterwards groggy and that's about it. Don't be afraid to ask for pain meds if you are in pain, that's what the nurses are there for.

Good luck!

Lara

[ToDream 18]

Any time I've done Low Carb in the past, you didn't count carbs from veggies or fruit... unless they were a starch. So potato.. yes. Strawberries.. no. When I think of carbs, I'm thinking starches but perhaps someone that's been sleeved can weigh in on that.

[Rootman 1,101]

Sorry this is so long, I feel real "philosophical" today

1. I have never had good luck. I mean seriously if something could go wrong in my life for my husband and myself it has. No joke...

Same here or so it seems. Being a Christian I am dread to believe in something apart from God's will but it sure does seem like my "luck" sucks big time in most cases. My bro gave me 20 scratch off lottery tickets for my birthday. Now typically out of 20 you'd have at least a few $1 winners or even better. I had NONE. Just goes to show how my "luck" is. But sad story that it is if you make a good well informed decision it will usually work out for the better, my VSG certainly has. I've had like NO problems, well I did have some kidney stones from not hydrating enough and popping too many Tums (learned I need Calcium CITRATE not Calcium CARBONATE). But at least nothing life threatening. Here I am at 4.5 months out and have lost 110 pounds.

2. No diet has eve worked! Never! I have been on the pre-op diet since last July. Low Carb, High Protein, and have only lost 9 pounds. My second fear is that the surgey won't work. I will lose some weight during the liquid and mushy phase but after that.... no more will come off. No matter what I do. Small portions, excersise, I have never lost weight so why would the surgery be any different. I especially can't get over this one! I've tried everything... and I know I will only be able to eat small amounts, but I have done Portion Control diets and never lost. How is this going to be different.

I have starved myself a few times and lost a bit of weight only to have it boomerang and I pack it back on PLUS some. The VSG is different not JUST a diet, and truth be told it IS the diet apart from the sleeve that causes you to lose weight, the sleeve just gives you the ability to keep to it. I too was worried it would not work and I would just blow all that money and mutilate myself for no good reason. I now have a LOT better eating habits and at 4.5 months I still don't really even WANT to eat, I have to make myself. Not force myself exactly but I have to sit down and make myself eat. Prior to this I would take ANY opportunity to stuff WHATEVER I could get in my mouth. I would gorge on MASSIVE amounts of everything. A lot of my favorites don't even taste good to me any more. I wonder if they ever really did, was I just shoveling it in, barely chewing it and not really tasting it and just getting high from the endorphins that having a full belly coursed though my system? I'm not sure, all I know is if I don't like it I DON'T eat it whereas before I probably still would have.

If you're like most of us you are doing it too. If all the sleeve did is make us really appreciate the TASTE of food then it would be well worth it.

3. I'm afraid I will never ever in my life be able to eat the things I enjoy ever again. I am not talking about Cookies, and chips, and ice cream, etc. I have never been one of those girls.

I was worried about the same things. I really preferred quality food to average food. I would NOT eat a McDonalds hamburger but sure would wolf down a Royal Red Robin burger in a heartbeat. I would not eat at Olive Garden with their "fake" Italian food but would scarf down a plate of our "real" Italiana Restaurante Spaghetti any time. I think the sleeve changes your appetite AND your palate, I know it certainly has for me and while I DO miss it somewhat It's just a fond memory and little else. I do not long for the food I used to eat.

I tell people it's like getting a divorce from food, you are no longer lovers but just good friends and see each other only when you have to.

I'm having a really hard time these past 2 days... With all these fears... I could really use some advice from all of you!

Most of us went through the same thing and some of us really wigged out when it came down to the time. Study the options, examine the realities, seek the consul of others you trust and if of that bent - pray about it. Only YOU can determine what is the right decision for YOU to make.

We all wish you the best no matter what direction you take.