Am I in denial?

[ToDream 18]

My surgery is next week. I've told 3 people that I'm doing it. None of them are related to me... with of course the exception of my husband who is coming along with me.

I told my trainer because she needed to know why I wouldn't be letting her kick my ass for the next 2 months. I told my best friend and I told a woman at work because I trust her and she's trusting me with a secret that she's pregnant right now.

I don't want to tell my family. I don't want to tell my boss. I don't want to tell my co-workers... even the ones that could really benefit from this procedure. Frankly I'm afraid they'll look at me like I took the easy way out, or that I didn't really need it because I'm not "that" big...

How do you decide who to tell???

[kellyw74 258]

I am with you on this!! And NO, you are not in denial!! It is a very personal choice to tell or not!!

I feel the same way as you do. I feel like people are very judgemental and talk out of ignorance because they are uneducated on the procedure. I also feel that a lot of them are jealous that they do not have the courage to do it or the insurance that will allow them to! So, instead of being supportive, they are negative!

NOBODY but my husband knows. I have a huge family and hundreds of friends. I have not even told my mother who I talk to daily! They all think I am having a hernia reapir operation. I am having that fixed too, but they don't know about the other! I may decide to tell one day, but I may not!

I have lost 55lbs pre-op so as I continue to lose, it is not going to be such a shock! I do not think anyone will suspect anything! I just really do not want to listen to the negative, that is why I chose not to tell. My husband would never tell either!

It is your choice and if you don't want to, then don't!

Good luck to you!

Kelly

[Brian66 85]

ToDream,

This is a very personal issue and one with which I struggled. Ultimately, before surgery, I told only my mother, my children, my brother and my sister-in-law (my wife died four years ago). I simply told people at work that I was having minor surgery -- "nothing major, just something that needs to be taken care of." I have always felt that it was a very personal matter and I just didn't want to listen to other people's horror stories or opinions about my decision. I did a ton of research and was very compfortable with the procedure and with my doctor.

I had the surgery on July 13 and it was late August when people really started to notice -- I had probably lost about 65 pounds by that point. I did tell the truth to family and close friends at that point, but most people I have told that "I am working with a doctor and a nutritionist." Most people seem satisfied with that answer. I am sure that some people have figured out that I had surgery and that's fine as long as I didn't have to listen to their opinions about it. The people I have told have been very supportive (how can you argue with these results), but I am still glad that I didn't broadcast my decision to the world.

Good luck to you,

Brian

[KellyL 173]

I think we all struggled with this to a degree, I know I have. I have gone ahead and told a few people in my family. After my surgery I will probably tell more. Let's face it, people are going to talk. I'd rather the truth just be out there, than for people to discuss how I did it, or wonder if I have cancer or if I'm on crack. And there is a possibility it will come out anyway and I don't want to be caught in a lie or for people to think I am ashamed of what I did. I am doing it for my health. I don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of myself. I have researched this surgery, and a lot of them haven't, so if they say something ignorant, I can choose to get my feelings hurt and let them make me doubt my decision, or I can tell them I've researched it and I feel very comfortable in my decision. If they ask for more info then I will educate them. When people see the changes in our appearance and health, it won't matter how we did it. I want the info about wls, especially the sleeve, to get out there so it can help more people. If I discovered the cure to cancer I wouldn't keep it a secret and just save my own life, yanno? I am thankful for this gift and I wanna pay it forward. I have found that the more confident I am in my answers about the sleeve, the less people doubt my decision. But this is truly a personal decision.

Kelly

[Puppylovemommy 8]

I've told a few people, but choose not to broadcast it over Facebook is all. Its nobody's business and I would tell if asked, but if someboyd belittles me about it, I will just turn the other cheek.

[Dixies Mom 0]

I've told only my best friend. My husband knows and is supportive. I don't want negative vibes from anybody bringing me down.

[sposhcop 1]

My surgery is next week. I've told 3 people that I'm doing it. None of them are related to me... with of course the exception of my husband who is coming along with me.

I told my trainer because she needed to know why I wouldn't be letting her kick my ass for the next 2 months. I told my best friend and I told a woman at work because I trust her and she's trusting me with a secret that she's pregnant right now.

I don't want to tell my family. I don't want to tell my boss. I don't want to tell my co-workers... even the ones that could really benefit from this procedure. Frankly I'm afraid they'll look at me like I took the easy way out, or that I didn't really need it because I'm not "that" big...

How do you decide who to tell???

my reply is similar to the others. I told 2 co-workers prior to surgery and family only. After about 50 pounds off and lots of questions, I finally told more people at work. I am a police officer so I was also concerned about the feedback. surprisingly, everyone but one was very supportive and its all been good. And now I am getting others that call me aside for a private conversation wanting the information for themselves about having the sleeve done. I think in the long run, you will not care what other think anyway, do it for yourself.

[dragon 1]

I told :

my Husband - you kind of have to...

My best friend - she had RNY last year, was the one who encouraged me to seriously consider

My sister - who was an idiot, and promptly informed me that after the surgery I will NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT AGAIN!!! OH NOS!

and

three girls at book club - because they don't know anyone else in my life, it felt safe to tell them. They were curious, interested,

and very supportive. And, one of the girls had a personal interest, and may follow in my footsteps if I do well..

Right now, don't need the pressure of having people watch every bite I put in my mouth,ask how much I have lost, and gossip about me in hushed conversations on their nightly telephone calls (hello Inlaws, I'm looking at you!).

Once I have lost the weight, I think I may selectively tell people; I only considered this because seeing my friend do it made it a real option. I think I will want to be that example for others in the same boat.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

I only told my parter (we live together and he is super supportive) and my mom. Honestly, I only told my mom because she knew I had the lap band and I wanted to let her know I was getting the band out.

No one needs to know!!!!!! It is personal. You may change your mind after the surgery is over and you have more of a handle on your eating and lifestyle changes. But, then again, maybe you won't. No one knew I had the lap band either.

Good luck!

Lara

[SandSandles 4]

My surgery is next week. I've told 3 people that I'm doing it. None of them are related to me... with of course the exception of my husband who is coming along with me.

I told my trainer because she needed to know why I wouldn't be letting her kick my ass for the next 2 months. I told my best friend and I told a woman at work because I trust her and she's trusting me with a secret that she's pregnant right now.

I don't want to tell my family. I don't want to tell my boss. I don't want to tell my co-workers... even the ones that could really benefit from this procedure. Frankly I'm afraid they'll look at me like I took the easy way out, or that I didn't really need it because I'm not "that" big...

How do you decide who to tell???

That is what I am struggling with also. My husband is a blabbermouth. lol... and I mean that affectionately. hahahaha

I don't want to tell anyone either, so I'm trying to work out why I will be "gone" for 5 days.

[ToDream 18]

That is what I am struggling with also. My husband is a blabbermouth. lol... and I mean that affectionately. hahahaha

I don't want to tell anyone either, so I'm trying to work out why I will be "gone" for 5 days.

lol.. my hubby is too. He can't keep a secret for anything! Unless its related to his career in the military, then he's zipped up tight!

I've said to anyone that says "going on vacation again"? that I just have some things to take care of and left it at that. I was just in Punta Cana for a wedding at the beginning of the month so people are just assuming I'm vacationing. I won't correct them unless they ask

[2muchfluff 1]

I only told a select few (my husband and finally my daughter) because I did not want to be scrutinized as to what I was eating, how much weight I was losing, etc. But after the surgery and seeing myself melt away, I freely tell people now. I just did not want to hear any negative comments that would discourage me before I got a chance to see results. I feel very comfortable with it now and everyone I have shared with has made positive comments. It is kind of hard to hide it when I go out to eat with a group and order my tidbits of food.< /p>

[Cmsumom 5]

Well I told my mom and dad and my husband - and my kids (who are 6 and 10) but my dilemma lies in the fact that I have had a lot of surgeries- and there is a small group that are always there for my husband- ie- they bring him meals to the hospital, they pray with him (for me and him), they talk with him about his feelings and what he is going thru while I am in surgery or keep him distracted so he isn't worrying so much- so he doesn't understand why I don't want any of them to know- and in a way I feel I should for his sake- (I know as my spouse he will be experiencing- me good, bad and probably ugly) so I know sometimes he will just need to stop and get off from this emotional rollercoaster that I am on- and I am ok with that- but I still in the back of my mind- just dont want to tell them- but probably will- for his sake- (and then the other side of me says- ok -so here you go putting what you feel and want behind the needs of others- while the other side says - I love him- and he loves me- I need him to be ok- so he can be there for me) OH What to do....

[gotamakeachange 7]

I personally use my surgery as a testimony of what I decided to do to improve my health. So I will tell anyone who ask me what am I doing to lose weight. Since my surgery there have been at least 5 people that have been interested in researching the surgery due to seeing my progress so far. I do not care about people saying or thinking negative things about me or my decision. It is not their life to live or save, it's mine and Im going to do what I feel is right for me to do it. Be proud of yourself and your sleeve.

[wishes 125]

Not in my opinion, I have made the decision. I am happy only sharing this with my mother and boyfriend. They give me all the support I need along with this forum.