We are all cheaters and taking the easy way out

[Ms Lady in NC 1]

About 4 of my close friends who were against me initially having surgery have now begun asking questions about the sleeve so they can possibly join me as a loser. The heaviest is a size 16 and now instead of just dieting, wants to go the "easy route" like me as she calls it. I spent over 2 hours on the phone explaining what info I learned in my 2 years of researching all wls procedures. But it kinda annoys me and made me wonder if anyone else had people say they were losinng the easy way or cheating? I feel like this is anything but that and really hate people thinking having major surgery, eating like a bird for months if not years, and having to constantly monitor themselves medically for defenciencies is easy! She is a best friend so I know she didn't mean to totally insult me but the next person that calls wls easy or cheating will get a real good piece of my mind

[newnatalie 20]

Ms. Lady,

Please go read my blog "Inspiration or Agitation: My friends respond to weight loss." I was honestly amazed that I had one friend who said she would never speak to me again if I had surgery. About 2 months after my procedure, she was begging for my surgeon's number!

This is why we have to do what is best for us regardless of what others think. It's funny how "the easy way out" has now become "her way out."

Hold on ... You ain't seen nothing yet. The reactions will vary from people being happy for you to people judging you, to some people just being downright stupid! I have lost 73 pounds in 5 months and have heard it all!

Be encouraged and keep loving those around you. You will realize that you are an inspiration to them (they just didn't know it). You were bold enough to do what they feared!

Take care,

NewNatalie

[SpiceyMom 0]

Fortunately for me, my sister had WLS first. My parents have seen how well she's done (and with a band, too) but how much work it took, too. They've gone from being the 'easy way out' people to talking with my sister about how they wish I would consider WLS! They had no idea I had been considering it for quite some time.

So....all that to say that you may be breaking the ice for lots of people who aren't quite courageous enough (yet) to go first. I know I'm grateful to my sister for leading the way, even if I'm not following the exact path. I know it's a pain, but I think it's wonderful that you're sharing what you've learned and not making her feel horribly for speaking out of her own insecurities. KWIM?

[Rootman 1,101]

Let's see, a surgery that has a good track record of weight loss, lowers blood pressure, in a large part of patients all but eliminates diabetes in most and "cures" many other diseases and obesity related illness is the "easy way out"? Yep, I guess when you put it that way it is, it's much harder to force yourself to a strict diet, fail and the yo-yo back and forth over the same weight. Take multitudes of medications with terrible side effects and still lose ground to diseases. Damage your heart and blood vessels by eating more and more improper foods when you fail yet again to stick to the diet and gain still MORE weight. Risk a heart attack because I am so encumbered by my fat that I won't exercise to save my soul.

Yep, the VSG IS the "easy way" out compared to all that crap above - AND I'LL TAKE IT!

It's just a tool but a GOOD tool that makes weight loss a LOT easier. It has saved my life.

[coops 1,790]

I think a lot of people think this when they don't understand... they simplify it; oh an quick operation and a year later....a thinner, healthier you ... MAGIC weight loss!!

I haven't told many people for just that reason, and besides which it is no one elses business!

BUT... I have a friend who is terrified that I might be smaller than her, so much so that 'all of a sudden' she has started to diet and work out 5 times a week... she texts me on a regular basis to tell me that she has lost a pound, two pounds, three pounds; has lost 1 inch, 2 inches, 3 inches... you get my drift!!! Before my op - which is now 9mths ago- she didn't work out, she didn't watch what she ate and was releatively happy with her weight and body... I just can't be arsed with it so my standard reply is 'oh yea, cool, good for you'!!!

I don't like competition 'cos we are all different and that is something to Celebrate , not compete ... the only one I compete with is myself... Still... she is a damn good friend and I love her like a sister... just gotta take the good with the bad eh?

[DogGroomer 0]

Let's see, a surgery that has a good track record of weight loss, lowers blood pressure, in a large part of patients all but eliminates diabetes in most and "cures" many other diseases and obesity related illness is the "easy way out"? Yep, I guess when you put it that way it is, it's much harder to force yourself to a strict diet, fail and the yo-yo back and forth over the same weight. Take multitudes of medications with terrible side effects and still lose ground to diseases. Damage your heart and blood vessels by eating more and more improper foods when you fail yet again to stick to the diet and gain still MORE weight. Risk a heart attack because I am so encumbered by my fat that I won't exercise to save your soul.

Yep, the VSG IS the "easy way" out compared to all that crap above - AND I'LL TAKE IT!

It's just a tool but a GOOD tool that makes weight loss a LOT easier. It has saved my life.

Well Said!!! I'm actually going to use your words if ya don't mind. lol

I too have people who think this is cheating. My husband was one of them. He's coming around though.

[kellyw74 258]

that is exactly why nobody but my husband knows! i haven't even told my own mother!!

people are so judgemental and ignorant. it is sad.!!

Kelly

[Rootman 1,101]

Well Said!!! I'm actually going to use your words if ya don't mind. lol

I too have people who think this is cheating. My husband was one of them. He's coming around though.

Feel free to use it.

[sleeve 4 me 910]

It's not an easy way out, but I can understand how people can perceive that. They see us HUGE one moment and then thin the next. They think wow that was easy lol, but have no clue lol.

[NJMOMof2 17]

Politely suggest that your friend metion the "easy way out" comment to the therapist when she gets a psych eval! Guaranteed she will fail the test!! LOL

Ignorance is a part of life!! No one knows except for all of us how unbelievably hard WLS is!!! At this point you should tell your friend that you don't want to discuss the topic anymore.

If she does get the surgery...she will defintely apologize to you

[gotamakeachange 7]

Im of the mindset that I really dont care about what anyone else thinks regarding my decision to do what works for me to become healthy. As you said many people who were knocking the surgery before your weightloss are know wishing they were in your shoes. The most important thing is that you are happy with your decision and it is working for you. People are always going to have something to say, you just have to try not to put a lot of energy into being offended. If your friend decides to have the surgery just make sure you are front and center while she sees first hand how "easy" it is. You can have fun reminded her as she complains, that she took the "easy way out".

[Starry 6]

I have never thought this surgery was an easy out... But I do believe some do it for the wrong reasons.... I.e. A ex friend of mine was almost 350lbs 4 years ago, married to a minister had beautiful children raised with great values, etc.. Hated being married cause she got married young and he was 12 - 15 years older than her... She got onto aol and started attending parties, flirting with men, dating some men all lieing to everyone she was divorced etc... She talked her hubby into getting 2 loans and his insurance to pay for gastric bypass..because he was so madly in love with her ...he did it. She had surgery dropped tons of weight and walked out on him AND her kids ... Said the ppl who made fun of her on aol will never get her attention ...she's now shacked up with a man 25 years older looks like her grandpa and was the biggest jerk to her when she was heavy from the aol parties ... She wanted men to notice her that's WHY she had the surgery...WRONG REASON!!

We all have tried every diet on the planet I'm sure... But this is life changing .... I damn sure dont see it as an easy out or a quick fix ain't nothing easy or quick about it lol

[sasicas 194]

Before surgery in my mind I kept thinking I was taking the easy way out. Now that I have had a 4 hour surgery, 3 days in the hospital, followed by 5 weeks of nausea, gagging, and intense pain, followed by a nearly 2 week hospital stay, scopes, swallow studies, numerous other tests while unable to eat or drink anything, I am POSITIVE that I did NOT take the easy way out. I went the hard way and paid for it with plenty of pain.

I also have friends that have had crappy reactions to my surgery. My best friend supported me up until days before surgery. I did have to hear her constantly tell me how she needed to start losing weight now during the time she supported me though. Obviously I became competition which is complete crap as far I am concerned. AND NOWW, she won't even talk to me!! She just up and decided to not call or text or anything, she has nothing to do with me and I am only 7 weeks out. UGH!! You just never know what you are going to get from people.

[Starry 6]

That's proof right there... THAT IS NOT A FRIEND. And damn sure not someone you need or want in your corner!!!

[sasicas 194]

That's proof right there... THAT IS NOT A FRIEND. And damn sure not someone you need or want in your corner!!!

I totally agree!