Spilling the beans

[Golden 10]

I have a date set for May 27th and am really getting stressed out about the telling/not telling aspect of this, and then the WHO to tell/not tell. I work in a small office of only four other people, one of which is my roommate, and I have never mentioned that I'm thinking of doing this! I'm going to Mexico for surgery, so have already told them that I'm going on "vacation" there (which will hopefully be true! I am determined not to be too sick to enjoy a little bit of relaxed beach time, and am staying 2 extra days) but don't know how much else to say.

Has anyone else been in a situation where you are stuck with a few people that you eat lunch with every day, etc.? If I had my way, no one would know, but I don't see how I can do a two week liquid pre-op diet without it raising a lot of questions. I already know I'll have to come clean with my roommate sooner than later because she will obviously see what I'm doing at home. I could live with her knowing, I'm just stressed out thinking about three other people in a tiny office, watching my every move.

A lot of time I can get past this stuff by just thinking positive or resigning myself to it, but today I feel down, like it's going to make my social life really uncomfortable...I've considered everything from claiming I caught a parasite in Mexico, that I got the flu, that I needed an emergency appendectomy or something! I just want to do this in private and feel like I can't, any thoughts would be welcome...

[susnl 17]

I struggled with this but decided to just tell everyone. I figured - more support. The only person who even questioned me was my brother-in-law. Of course, this man can eat a whole cake or pie after dinner and not gain any weight. He has been a 32 -34 waist his entire adult life - UUUGHHH!! He said " Why don't you just diet and exercise?" You know, I would if I could. I just brushed him off and decided not to share my amazing journey with him. Anyway, last week I saw him and again he asked if was still going through with it even though I was doing so well on my pre-op diet. I said "of course". I explained that I had lost weight before and was not able to keep it off and this was only a tool. I still had to work to get the weight off. He said "good point". I was shocked. Now I have another supporter.

I got word last week that people at my old job had gotten word of my upcoming surgery. At first, I was a little taken back, but then decided. This is great. My life is finally interesting enough for someone to talk about it.

Good luck with your decision. I think however the more support (and accountability) you have, the better your success will be.

[Margaret 4]

Tell them. Then rely on this website for support when you find the naysayers. And most naysayers will be heavy and unwilling at this point to change. It'll be a load off your mind. I found a few staunch supporters and now everyone is eager to see how I'm doing. Well, I'm 5 days out and have been sipping and playing in the garden! Not a problem in the world except for the day after surgery and that was by fluke with a lack of bp medicine and allergy to morphine which I didn't need to begin with. Tell them. Remember these words, " I've decided this is the best decision FOR ME." Not much anyone can criticize with that. Good luck to you!

I have a date set for May 27th and am really getting stressed out about the telling/not telling aspect of this, and then the WHO to tell/not tell. I work in a small office of only four other people, one of which is my roommate, and I have never mentioned that I'm thinking of doing this! I'm going to Mexico for surgery, so have already told them that I'm going on "vacation" there (which will hopefully be true! I am determined not to be too sick to enjoy a little bit of relaxed beach time, and am staying 2 extra days) but don't know how much else to say.

Has anyone else been in a situation where you are stuck with a few people that you eat lunch with every day, etc.? If I had my way, no one would know, but I don't see how I can do a two week liquid pre-op diet without it raising a lot of questions. I already know I'll have to come clean with my roommate sooner than later because she will obviously see what I'm doing at home. I could live with her knowing, I'm just stressed out thinking about three other people in a tiny office, watching my every move.

A lot of time I can get past this stuff by just thinking positive or resigning myself to it, but today I feel down, like it's going to make my social life really uncomfortable...I've considered everything from claiming I caught a parasite in Mexico, that I got the flu, that I needed an emergency appendectomy or something! I just want to do this in private and feel like I can't, any thoughts would be welcome...

[foxgirl74 5]

Sometimes I am not sure if people get that this surgery IS a diet and exercise. There is no difference. Your body just forces the diet part. So, why can we not just say we are doing that? On a diet and have been exercising? You could even say you are doing a medically supervised diet that begins with liquids and moves gradually. If they put the pieces together good for them, but who cares? They probably won't have the guts to say anything if they figure it out anyway. And trust me, this is not going to be a walk in the park, you are going to be exhausted the first two weeks and you probably do need a story if you don't plan to admit to the surgery. Which I don't blame you, I don't want very many people knowing either. But I am honest, I am on a diet and I am increasing my exercise. That doesn't change just because we have surgery. It's about you taking control and changing your life. The sleeve is just a little tool that you are utilizing to do that. They don't need to know about the extra tool you bought for the extra guarantee of success.

[Chicadee 10]

I have only told 2 people in office at this point and like you there is a group of us who work closely and some of us eat together in the cafeteria everyday. The pre-op diet hasn't been bad, I have just been saying I am on a doctor supervised plan, with high Protein and I am telling them how much I lose each week. I haven't given them the opportunity to speculate about it.

My surgery was originally going to be the 11th but the doctor wanted me to continue the pre-op for a few more weeks. The challenge for me is going to be returning to work while in week two full liquids. I can always bring yogurt or cream Soups or broth and they may not question it along with my already standard Protein shakes.

I know it must be hard in such a small office but if they see you doing stuff pre-op with Protein Shakes and whatnot and you just come out and say you are on a diet supervised from your doctor, they may not think anything of it. I too said I was going on vacation and when I come back and continue to lose weight perhaps they won't be surprised since they knew I was trying and was losing beforehand. Your situation is definitely more complex because of the roommate.

Stay positive and don't let it worry you. And if they do find out or you do decide to tell them, their opinion or comments don't matter. All that matters is you and you should be comfortable with your decision to do this. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.

[Golden 10]

Thanks for the perspective guys. I'm trying to keep the big picture in mind - I'm 24 and will not have this job or be in this situation forever, so it doesn't make any sense to worry about it or base decisions about what a particular group of people think. All your advice helps tons.