I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN (PLEASE HELP)

[lisa25 1]

First off, congrats and kudos to you for being strong enough to know what you want and going for it! Everything you describe ( as far as your stomach) is normal. I can't comment on the mashed potatoes as I have not had them since because I don't do carbs.

As for your husband,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have heard of being scared but not going with you or seeing you in the hospital? That is down right mean and uncaring. What if something had happened? Is he a big guy?

I strongly suggest you get into a support group for VSG and that you see someone to evaluate your marriage.

yes he is a big guy , , since ive been home from the hospistal the whole situation plays in my mind over and over again , i mean what type of person does that to his wife he was very nasty about the whole thing , telling me its just a quick fix called me lazy , i mean it was a reall mess ,but through it all i just let him talk and decided not to engage into his nagative conversations cause i knew at the end of the day i was doing it for me , having my eyesight taking away from me for 2 months due to diabetes was no joke and i have a 4 year old . a part of me feels that maybe is just scared and the only why he knew how to express his feeling was with negative talk /then the other part of me feels like drop his butt off at the nearest bus stopp cause he is the devil, i mean really who abandons there wife like that in thier time of need wether you agree with them or not , he didnt take me to the hospital didnt come see me nor did he pick me up told me to find me why there and back and dont use any of the cars that he pays for ...check that out smh

[myrori 55]

yes he is a big guy , , since ive been home from the hospistal the whole situation plays in my mind over and over again , i mean what type of person does that to his wife he was very nasty about the whole thing , telling me its just a quick fix called me lazy , i mean it was a reall mess ,but through it all i just let him talk and decided not to engage into his nagative conversations cause i knew at the end of the day i was doing it for me , having my eyesight taking away from me for 2 months due to diabetes was no joke and i have a 4 year old . a part of me feels that maybe is just scared and the only why he knew how to express his feeling was with negative talk /then the other part of me feels like drop his butt off at the nearest bus stopp cause he is the devil, i mean really who abandons there wife like that in thier time of need wether you agree with them or not , he didnt take me to the hospital didnt come see me nor did he pick me up told me to find me why there and back and dont use any of the cars that he pays for ...check that out smh

Lisa,

I guess this strikes a cord with me because just hearing how he is acting reminds me of my ex husband. Not allowed to use the cars he pays for????? HELLO marriage is 50/50. I agree he is threatend, but his true nature is showing at his finest. I wish you the best Lisa, please get in a vsg support group and find some help with your marriage.

[lisa25 1]

Hi Lisa25-

I second what all those before me posted about this being perfectly normal, trying to add a medication for the acid and that food will become more enjoyable in time.

What really caught my attention was the animosity with Hubs over having the surgery. Just reading your post and knowing nothing else of the situation, I wondered if Hubs feels threatened by some aspect of your surgery. His behavior is textbook male behavior when threatened. Is he heavy and afraid you will leave him behind if you drop the weight? Did he feel surgery costs could harm you financially? Is he worried about you health in the future because he doesn't understand the surgery? These were the things I was wondering. I also wondered if he doesn't feel he's abadoned you in this process but rather feels you abandoned him by choosing to have the surgery over his objections.

This life-change is difficult with a partner's support, I can't imagine without it. I'm thinking if you guys can communicate and come to peace that the surgery issues you're experiencing will seem much less significant. My heart goes out to you while you guys work this out.

*HUGS*

Amanda

i asked him if he felt threatened by me having the surgery and he said no , i dont want to leave me husband but i refuse to be put down and hear his little remarks about my surgery ....we were scheduled to go on a criuse (family ) the ending of may and once i told him my surgery date 3/8 he canceled the cruise and told me he is not going on a cruise with someone who is going to be throwing up in a bag . as far as his feeling i dont know how he feels what i do know is when i can home that thursday evening he went to work the next day knowing i was not fully capable of caring for y 4yrs old son , so to be honest i dont know . i really dont like holding on to things but ths is something i cant seem to let go .

as far as it being a burden on us the surgery was 35,000 and my insurance paid for it i only had to come out of my pocket 10.00

[lisa25 1]

Lisa,

I guess this strikes a cord with me because just hearing how he is acting reminds me of my ex husband. Not allowed to use the cars he pays for????? HELLO marriage is 50/50. I agree he is threatend, but his true nature is showing at his finest. I wish you the best Lisa, please get in a vsg support group and find some help with your marriage.

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i fairly new to the site idont even know how to put my weight tickler on...lol how do i go about joinning a group

[Can'tweight 41]

Hello every 1 hope all is well

i was sleeved on 3/8/11 and i wanted to ask a few questions regarding the after effects of the sleeve

1. is it normal to still have to sip while drinking fluids or should you be able to consume a little bit more

2. is it normal not to be able to tolerate mash potatoes

3 is having indigestion normal at this point (i feel like after every sip i have to burp)

also i would like to know at what point will i be able to enjoy food ,No im not saying i want to go to Mc donalds and get a number 2 , i just want to be able to enjoy a meal without worrying about bringing it back up , (not all foods that i eat come back up) i spoke with my doctor in 4/7 for my follow and he told me everthing that im am currently feeling is normal and that i shoukd keed in mind that i just had a major surgery , and with time things will get better

HOW I FEEL

im feeling as if i shouldnt have done the surgery ,and i feel very depressed he told me i should stop taken the reglan and perscibed me ativan , idont know its just one of those days were i feel down , i come to vs cause i know in some way we all are connected and are family , so i just wanted some imput from someone . my husband was totally againist the surgery he didnt take me to the hospital the day of the surgery nor did he come vist me the 2 days i was in the hospital ... and you shouldnt eveven have to ask if he picked me ( if your wondering no he didnt ) he just waiting to see me vomit ( which he never has) so he can have something to say. he doesnt even acknowldge my weight loss so far

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

im off all my diabetic medication both pills and insulin as well as my blood pressure medication

i went from 254 down to 210 as of today

I too experienced the same thing with mashed potatoes. My doc said it is the starch swelling in your tummy that makes you sick. Happens to some and not to others. Still haven't tried them again since getting sick. It woke me at 4am with cramps and light headedness. And I felt like poo-poo, doo-doo, cock-a the entire day.

I have no problems drinking. I do not have to sip any longer. I actually take about 3 small gulps.

That is so awesome that you are now off your meds. What a blessing. Chin up, sister!!

Shame on your husband for not being there for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

[lisa25 1]

I am 3 1/2 months out and drink normally. I even gulp Water when I am spinning.

I have a problem with depression and has troubles after surgery. I think the anestesia and pain meds do a number on people's mood.

The burping and gas goes away, literally from one day to the next. That really bothered me, then suddently it stopped. (Maybe about 6 weeks out)

Now for the hardest question....

YES..you will enjoy food but in a different way. Last night I went to a 7 course dinner and I got to taste what I wanted (skipped on the Pasta round). I didn't eat huge portions, just tasted every course and had a larger portion of the fish but I was satisfied and had fun with my friends. So YES, it's an adjustment but you need to keep focused on the goal and remember that eating socially is more about the social experience than the eating. I had a tough time with this in the beginning but now I am fine ( and you will be too!). I be sure to order food that re-heats well so I can enjoy the food 1 or 2 more times!!!

thank you so much you just put a smile on my face

[Amanda131 214]

i asked him if he felt threatened by me having the surgery and he said no , i dont want to leave me husband but i refuse to be put down and hear his little remarks about my surgery ....we were scheduled to go on a criuse (family ) the ending of may and once i told him my surgery date 3/8 he canceled the cruise and told me he is not going on a cruise with someone who is going to be throwing up in a bag . as far as his feeling i dont know how he feels what i do know is when i can home that thursday evening he went to work the next day knowing i was not fully capable of caring for y 4yrs old son , so to be honest i dont know . i really dont like holding on to things but ths is something i cant seem to let go .

as far as it being a burden on us the surgery was 35,000 and my insurance paid for it i only had to come out of my pocket 10.00

Oh boy, there's some serious anger and hurt in all of those actions and reactions. May I suggest an appointment with a marriage counselor? If Hubs refuses to go, go alone. They can really make a difference and help you see the situation for each other's standpoint. My hubby and I hit a nasty, rough spot about two years ago and because we have a three year old we chose to try counseling before divorce. It literally saved us.

The mean and seemingly heartless behavior of you husband reminds me so much of when my hubby and I were struggling. I was completely dumbfounded by how mean the love of my life had suddenly become. In counseling, when he finally opened up I learned that I had unknowingly hurt him and that led to his behaviors (which weren't okay but at least this knowledge set up a dialogue where he could ask forgiveness and prove himself once again.)

It sounds like you have great insurance from what you paid for surgery and it would likely cover these therapy sessions.

Good luck and Chin up!

Amanda

[lisa25 1]

<br />Lisa,<br /><br />First of all I think it is terrible the way your husband is treating you because of the surgery. My husband is not the most supportive person, but it would rip my heart out if he acted the way your husband is acting. My husband was against the surgery at first also, mainly because previous diets always failed for me and he wasn't willing to spend the money for the surgery because he didn't believe it would work for me since diets never worked. He even refused to discuss it with me in the beginning. I guess he figured that would be the end of it, but it wasn't the end for me. I saw this surgery as my last chance to live a normal life and I wasn't going to wait any longer.<br /><br />I arranged everything on my own. Once everything was arranged, I informed him what I was doing and that was that pretty much. He wasn't happy but it was already arranged, nothing could be changed by then. During the following 2 weeks he was slowly coming around and by the time I left he accepted what I was doing. I can't imagine coming home to a person that was just waiting for something to happen so they can rub it in your face. I really hope you have some good support coming from other outlets.<br /><br />As for your questions, I was sleeved 1 week before (3/1/11) you so I will answer as best I can.<br />I personally do not sip my liquids anymore but I believe it is different for everyone. I have read where some have had surgery before me and still sip. If it something that concerns you, you might want to discuss with your doctor.<br /><br />As for the mashed potatoes, I would say that is likely normal. After surgery our tastes and tummy's have changed quite a bit. There will be things you can't tolerate that others can. People always say to wait a few weeks and try it again when it comes to food you're unable to eat it after surgery. If you are unable to tolerate all soft or mushy foods, then it might be a problem. If it is only mashed potatoes I wouldn't worry about it.<br /><br />Lastly, I am guessing the indigestion is also normal. Once again, it is different for everyone. Some will have it and some wont. For me, I have problems with burping or the feeling my food/water are coming up when I eat or drink too much at a time or if I eat or drink too fast. Try to notice similarities to what is causing the indigestion. Pay close attention to how fast or how much you are eating or drinking. Also make sure you are not drinking and eating at the same time or drinking and eating too close togethere.<br /><br />Finally, congrats on what you have acheived so far! You should feel very proud. I know that it is hard to feel proud when your husband is acting the way he is, but don't let his negativity get to you; that's what he wants! I don't know what would cause a spouse to act this way unless it is some sort of insecurity within them. I hope he is able to change and becomes more supportive to you. If not, try your best to find other forms of support!<br />

<br /><br /><br />

thank you so much for you imput hopefully 1 day he will come around but i cant say forsure i will be there , cause its hurts and it plays in my mi d day after day . but like im am learning i need to focus on myself not saying im going to stop doing my duties as a wife cause thats all i know ive been with my husband since i was a teenager so he like the only man i know . but im just going to pray about it .......and what will be will be

thank you again for listening to me and offering me your advice i will keep intouch and let you know how this progress /degress..lol

[meggiep 57]

First I just want to send you a big big hug.

I haven't been sleeved yet but everything you are experiencing sounds totally normal to me.

Sipping goes on for a long time- for some longer than others- different foods are tolerated differently by everyone and at different rates, time wise. It sees to me the main point of the time after the surgery is taking a good long time babying your new tummy , letting it heal, and taking your time getting back to eating regular food. The more you are careful during this time after your surgery the better your future eating, from what I understand reading here. You are only a month out so , at least on my doctor's plan, at that point I will still be on pureed foods and I plan to take it slowly and carefully since a few months is a short time in a long life made longer by the sleeve.

You have already had amazing results! Think about that and soon "Why did I do this?" will be replaced by "Why didn't I do this sooner?"

The part that I think is a harder problem is your husbands lac of support. I simply can't imagine him not being there for you during your surgery. I know that friends and family can feel threatened by this, but I am really shocked that he is behaving this way. I really feel for you. I think you should consider some counseling about this and if he wont go (I suspect not) then go yourself. You need support.

Come here and vent too- but we are not there in person and you need to work this through with him or it will just get worse.

[myrori 55]

Your Doctors office should have a list of support groups in your area, or check with the hospital you had the surgery at also. You can google support groups in your area as well as look at obsieityhelp.com.

When I could not find one that worked for me in my area, I created one! As for the ticker, click on someone ones and it will take you to the site that makes them and then copy and paste the code it gives you to your profile by clicking on the area at the top that says "signed in as.............." and then chose my profile and then signatures and paste it there!