Alone

[Connie31079 0]

Just wondering if anyone else out there has experienced the same thing I'm experiencing? Before my surgery, I was fairly social.....friends would call, asking me out to dances, etc.....and yes, asking me to go out to eat.....but since my surgery, my phone never rings! What exactly has changed and why have people forgotten that I exist simply because I've had weight-loss surgery?? I'm still the same person I was before, just 70 pounds lighter! (54 pounds lost since surgery, 16 pounds lost pre-surgery.)

[KellyL 173]

Were you perhaps having to say no to invitations newly pre-op due to a liquid diet and healing? If so, they may have thought that was a permanent no now that your eating has changed. They simply may not know you are interested or may be doing it thinking they are being respectful to your situation. They may think eating out could hinder your progress, or that it's disrespectful to eat tempting foods in front of you. Whatever the reason, you should make some calls and. Invite people to hang out and show them you still want to socialize.

[janinemaire 7]

Kelly made some good points, you sould just invite people over or just a friend or two to go shopping and lunch. They'll start calling again but probably when you start calling them first. After my surgery I went to my aunts house and she told me don't worry I hid all the junk food. I know she meant well but what did she think I was going to do, eat everything until my stomach burst or start crying because I can't eat it. Some people need to know were fine and we just don't have that much interest in food.

[samantha209 19]

It's true. All the girls at work worry when they order lunch....or my bff will be like is it ok to eat this in front of u.

I tell them GO AHEAD. I cant hide from food forever. I prefer it actually, because its a test of my willpower.

[Rootman 1,101]

A few things spring to mind, one of them was already brought up.

We have a tendency to revolve our social lives around meals, and your friends may want to "help" you by not tempting you with food, and therefore not want to socialize with you.

In the same vein, maybe they don't think you would want to go and tempt yourself by going out to eat?

Perhaps your friends are jealous? Are they typically overweight and feeling you are leaving them behind?

Are you sure you're not over reacting? Fat has a tendency to store away hormones, which are then re-released when the fat is burned up and lost. Could it be you are just being a tad over sensitive and people are just busy and not doing much socially. I'm a guy and have been a basket case emotionally recently. I watch a sad TV program or some and start bawling like a baby.

Are your friends resentful? Maybe you didn't tell them about the surgery beforehand?

Maybe ALL these points are wrong, just food for thought.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

They are not the only ones with a phone. They might feel lonely too! give'em a call!

[Beadingnurse 116]

A few things spring to mind, one of them was already brought up.

We have a tendency to revolve our social lives around meals, and your friends may want to "help" you by not tempting you with food, and therefore not want to socialize with you.

In the same vein, maybe they don't think you would want to go and temp yourself?

Perhaps your friends are jealous? Are they typically overweight and feeling you are leaving them behind?

Are you sure you're not over reacting? Fat has a tendency to store away hormones, which are then re-released when the fat is burned up and lost. Could it be you are just being a tad over sensitive and people are just busy and not doing much socially. I'm a guy and have been a basket case emotionally recently. I watch a sad TV program or some and start bawling like a baby.

Are your friends resentful? Maybe you didn't tell them about the surgery beforehand?

Maybe ALL these points are wrong, just food for thought.

Okay Rootman...ya got me scared! I can tear up over the sappy McDonald's commericals now ....it's going to get WORSE after the surgery??? OMG....

[Connie31079 0]

Thanks for the replies.....I have spoken with a few of my friends who seem like they have completely cut me off since my surgery, telling them "HELLO?? REMEMBER ME???", telling them "Don't be afraid to invite me out to dinner if you'z are going out, I'd love to tag along!" The only thing I would do is ask that my food be brought to the table in a take-out dish so that after I'm done eating my 6 or 7 bites and am full, that I'll just bring the rest of my food home. I got 1 invite.

If I invite a "couple" friends over for lunch to my place, they usually bring their husbands, mom, dad & kids along with them, so I end up cooking for 12.....gets kinda' expensive after awhile.....

I don't think jealousy is the problem, I have always been the biggest weight-wise out of all my friends, and even though I've lost 70 pounds, I'm still considerably bigger than them.

I have had considerable trouble with nausea since my surgery, because my gallbladder needs to come out......maybe that's their excuse for not calling or texting or dropping by for a visit or....

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Thanks for the replies.....I have spoken with a few of my friends who seem like they have completely cut me off since my surgery, telling them "HELLO?? REMEMBER ME???", telling them "Don't be afraid to invite me out to dinner if you'z are going out, I'd love to tag along!" The only thing I would do is ask that my food be brought to the table in a take-out dish so that after I'm done eating my 6 or 7 bites and am full, that I'll just bring the rest of my food home. I got 1 invite.

If I invite a "couple" friends over for lunch to my place, they usually bring their husbands, mom, dad & kids along with them, so I end up cooking for 12.....gets kinda' expensive after awhile.....

I don't think jealousy is the problem, I have always been the biggest weight-wise out of all my friends, and even though I've lost 70 pounds, I'm still considerably bigger than them.

I have had considerable trouble with nausea since my surgery, because my gallbladder needs to come out......maybe that's their excuse for not calling or texting or dropping by for a visit or....

I have had friends cut me off for no apparent reason a time or two. I still don't know why. The older I get the more I think it might not be for any reason that has to do with ME, or maybe it was and I just don't know why. Have you ever checked out meetup.com? You sign up for free, and look in any category you are interested in by zip code.. it posts loads of meetups for dancing, hiking, bike riding, eating out, bird watching and all kinds of activities with like minded people. Maybe its time to reach out and meet some more peeps with similar interests? Just a thought.

[Godsfavoraintfair 3]

Some folks can't handle other peoples positive moments. Now hopefully that is not the case, because there is still healthy food on the menus. But your real friends will be there thru thick and thin!